gay, disabled, tired, and distractable

of autocorrect worker when I could’ve writes and sentences

[frottinq]

it really is interesting how most adults really only see child sexual assault through the lens of how it makes THEM feel. it's not really about the actual harm that comes to the children, it's about how they, the adult (the real victim) feels about the fact that a child or children got abused and taken advantage of.

like one time I saw a vid of some dudes who tricked some guys into thinking they were going to meet up with minors, instead they forced the two dudes to fight on camera. it's voyeurism, it's not about protecting children it's about the good feeling YOU, the viewer, get inside when you watch this happen.

or like I was arguing with some people about CSA being punishable by death. i don't care if child abusers die, let me say that. wouldn't care if they all killed themselves to a person. but there is a REASON child advocacy organizations will tell you that executing convicted pedophiles is a bad idea, and that's because it will lead to more children being killed to hide the crimes of the abuser.

But if you argue against THE STATE executing pedophiles, people start pulling the "ohhhh wow defending pedophiles. this the hill you wanna die on?" like no dude I just think about the effects of policy outside of the fucking feel-good yummies in my tummy I get from seeing someone I don't like punished.

[alethisquishy]

Yes this is why so much legislation is the way it is or is in the process of shifting. It isnt about the observer or sometimes the one who was harmed but who will be harmed next.

[scramratz]

A big issue with online queer discourse is you never know what queer level your opponent is. You could be arguing about he/him lesbians with someone who thinks men can’t be bisexual

[alethisquishy]

Its whiplash every time too. ill find like the person who is sexist equally to trans women in cis women in the same way but treats all women as women and but is anti same gender relationships and doesnt beleive in trans men? Like bro who raised you. What insanity caused that line of thought? I gotta know is it porn? It sounds like porn. (I've had that interaction 2x and it always ends in "im not a pervert i just dont..." dude thats not what I asked)

[alivehouse]

ull be like “i think its fucked up that the dsm has a diagnosis called ‘crazy emotional psycho bitch disorder’ which is highly stigmatized and 90% of people diagnosed with it are women and due to stigmatization someone diagnosed with it is significantly more likely to be hospitalized than someone with a different yet very similar and less stigmatized diagnosis” and someone will chime in like “TRUE ☝️ we should be diagnosing more men with crazy emotional psycho bitch disorder to make it even 🙏”

[alethisquishy]

Exactly, like bro you want more people to be tortured be the sexist not quite accurate diagnosis that causes problems for people treatment and long term care? Make more people suffer isnt the solution Mr evil scientist.

[the-quasar-hero]

Very many white LGBT people understand the idea that the societal concept that CisHet is the ‘standard’ or ‘default’ state of a human, at best, is a flattened look at the human experience, and worse a dangerous idea that leads to discrimination. Yet not very many of them seem to grasp the similar concept that thinking white people are the ‘default’ or ‘standard’ version of a person also leads to the same thing.

[alethisquishy]

It's the same with gender. The number of times I've thought when opening up a customize my character on a white man who looks like a Chad when many games just randomize the initial look is insane to me like bro. I've also noticed this of all things In horror advertising like for some reason a horror movie targeted towards poc or women still has trailers all advertising as if the goal is to get as many straight white men in the theater is insane to me. Like boy that's why 90% of good horror is considered a cult classic instead of just a classic cause they didn't do good in box office due to lack of understanding who the content they made would be most intensely experienced by. There's a horror movie with demi Moore in 2012 that had this issue so bad that the audience initially was 56% male and was called twilight for men when it is a horror move with themes catering to women. The rotten tomatoes started out awful until the horror junkies actually saw it. Weird rant srry

[mumblingsage]

A few weeks ago, there was a popular post in my corner of politics Tumblr (I reblogged it myself!) encouraging people to be better at recognizing normative statements, that is, slogans that call for what should be, not what is or has been.

I am not a great fan of infighting on the broad left - at this point literally anyone who is not a fascist is welcome to die on these hills and make the fascists die on theirs - but it must be admitted that "Accept this as a normative statement" is usually asked of the farther left by the more central left. (Not the actual "centrists," who are too politically incoherent to count as left-leaning.) Today, I am asking for the inverse.

In particular, with Noem getting fired, some people are responding to the gleeful cheers of "Next, abolish ICE" and "Next, abolish DHS" with "That's not realistic."

I think abolishing ICE is becoming increasingly realistic! More importantly, the problems go far beyond ICE - some of the most appalling crimes have come from Customs and Border Patrol personnel who have worked as part of DHS for years - so I've got my "Abolish DHS" banner flying. How likely is it that we're going to be able to dismantle the Department of Homeland Security for parts and distribute anything of true social value into a separate agency (keeping in mind numerous preexisting agencies were incorporated to make DHS in the first place)?

It's not likely likely. But shoot for the moon; if you miss, you might still ensure Stephen Miller dies feeling like his life has been lived for nothing. So "Abolish DHS" is my normative statement and I'm going to keep saying it. And the more we say it, the riskier DHS's position will be.

[stripedroseandsketchpads]

Remember ICE and DHS were both created in response to 9/11. They are each only 23 years old. They are way overfunded and conservatives love them, but it is theoretically possible to dig them out from where they are entrenched. There have been other ways of doing immigration and national security before, and there can be better ways of doing it in the future.

[shamwowxl]

Saying these things are possible is what makes them possible.

[writer-ace]

I mean this as an honest question: what do you see as the utility in abolishing DHS?

I'm not going to argue on the immigration side, but it seems like for the rest of it, abolishing DHS means either creating a bunch of new agencies, which would increase the administrative burden; moving agencies/offices back to somewhere they don't really belong (moving CISA back into GSA doesn't make a ton of sense to me, for example); and/or totally splitting the component parts back up to their original offices (which would likely both increase the administrative burden and end up putting offices places where they don't make sense).

I'm not trying to argue against it, I just honestly haven't seen a clear argument for what abolishing the department as a whole would accomplish.

[mumblingsage]

Acknowledging I'm not a policy wonk with a detailed plan here: I think you can only commit so many atrocities before you lose the right to exist, and DHS lost that right some time ago (probably before Trump 1.0 but unarguably by this point). The resources of entire department have become oriented toward a white supremacist terrorist campaign--for the most minor yet also striking example, I want to cite the racist social media memes, but don't want to open up its X page myself this evening or to inflict specific instances on my followers. (In honor of Noem getting shitcanned today, I'm also thinking of how FEMA's been hollowed out and the lives lost due to that mismanagement.) In light of that moral emergency, I'm not going to sweat the TSA facing some extra paperwork and having to order new signage.

Definitely, "Turn the whole thing off, then turn the parts you actually want back on again" is extreme. There's a reason I don't think it's probable. If it is does happen, it'll be a huge undertaking that requires dedicated and trustworthy public servants. But re-absorbing the Confederate States was also a huge undertaking. The New Deal was a huge undertaking. Making the DHS in the first place was no minor task!

Returning some of the 22 agencies to their original homes seems like the 'easiest' fix. Why not return Customs to the Treasury and Immigration to the Justice Department? (Literally any option strikes me as an improvement over letting Immigration be handled by the literal White Supremacist Memes Department!!) But certainly others might fit better in new places. Some might wind up together under an umbrella that kinda looks like DHS 2.0, but hopefully without the white supremacy. Some might be abolished altogether.

"Abolish CPB and also ICE and also whoever is posting the racist memes on our government's social media accounts, but CISA can stay as it is" is also a reasonable position, but it doesn't roll off the tongue very well, and I did start this post referencing a discussion about effective sloganeering. Indeed, my genie's-wish outcome might be that the "Abolish DHS" slogan gets negotiated down to, in practice, getting rid of certain parts of DHS and leaving others as they are to prioritize the administrative burden where it really, really makes a difference.

[writer-ace]

That makes sense. (And I study right-wing extremism, I am well aware of the racist memes unfortunately.)

My comment about the administrative burden was less "new signs and some extra paperwork" and more "making a bunch of new agencies likely means we would have to have half a dozen separate HR departments, contracting shops, badging offices, etc." Which as a taxpayer I am not super fond of the idea of.

Appreciate you explaining your argument to me!

[infiniteoreos]

undiagnosed autistic people will be like "I don't get upset when my routine changes though!!" and it's because they've built a set of if-then loops in their head to pick from one of 6 different strict routines and they do get incredibly upset when they're unable to keep to any of the 6 scripts. I'm john normal

[alethisquishy]

Me: it's not a routine its a system.

Also me: honey I could run our day like a computer program, I don't have to make any decisions cause I already made them. If anomalies occur ill check back in.

Me: yup I can be spontaneous

Also me : let me know when the plans stop being rigid so I can activate spontaneous activity

[imjunebitch]

hey guys June here neither trans men nor trans women have male privilege ok in fact not even all cis men have male privilege because our societies "normative acceptable manhood" is in actuality incredibly narrow and immensely easy to fall out of and be excluded from. the patriarchy benefits no one. oki that's all

[alethisquishy]

Also it can shift it does come across as how some people are "white passing" in some circumstances and not others and also there has to be the underlying understanding that it is the closer you are to each circumstances "ideal person" effects it. This is honestly a story of intersectionality as well. Who is more likely to get promoted due to the masculine ideal: the effeminate man, the asian man who is more masculinebut works for a person who was rased to beleive Asians are effeminate anyway?, the bro girl? Yes the toxic masculinity harms men but you implying that because it harms men that it benefits no one hit me a little off. It does help people sometimes but here's the thing it is easy to forget what has always come easily as such we have to rely on others to see this for us. It inheritly sucks that there is a chance for anyone to experience it yes but the harm patriarchy does to one person is usually at the benefit of anouther. Whether it is to prop one's self up emotionally or to get a better promotion. There are people out there who use patriarchy as a weapon to get what they want and it works. Yes everyone has been harmed by it. But the reason some fight change is the very act of doing so does benefit them. It may not even be selfish Ness that causes them to hold it up but more the beleif that because they are relatively fine and every time they have gone against it it has hurt them so obviously anyone who fights the patriarchies views is a glutton for punishment not realizing they themselves are the problem. If you cannot recognize how patriarchy given you privileges you are turning a blind eye to how it is harming others. Ex: i grew up very tomboy i did benefit from that i was a teacher pet, I had many male friends I was a goddam 3rd grade pick me, this resulted in a few girls loosing friends and grades, they began to bully me. My dumbass didn't really know what I did I was just making friends and answering questions and was completely unaware there was shakesperian level drama happening. The bullying lead to some serious shit but I have to admit I did benefit initially was given the most positive attention by adults, it was assumed I was keeping the boys in line but also the most honest girl because I was "like a boy that way". Teachers would always come to me asking for me to tattle. Usually hey did u see x person at x place or playing with x. I'd confirm or deny because I had never had a teacher grab me and walk to anouther student to verify. I was seen as the best girl because I was almost a boy. I don't discover this untill I confronted my elementary school bully years ago.

[i-suggest-aro]

the reason why i think so many alloromantic people outright refuse the idea of "aromantic subtext" being a legitimate thing is that people view aromanticism as inherently shallow. to a lot of queer fandomites, "aromantic" is what they make the side character they don't really care about, so they don't have to bother coming up with actual analysis of their interpersonal relationships. it sucks, because aromantic narratives in fiction, intentional or otherwise, are worth exploring, analysing, and appreciating.

[alethisquishy]

Same! It's popping up more in media where im like dude that one is asexual like (i hate to say hes any representation but hes the one that comes to mind immediately) sheldon Cooper from big band theory, he is 100% on that spectrum leaning heave ace and med aro(in my off the cuff perception) heavy pushed by his sensory issues , however there are so many ones that im like call her a slut for not dating and only one night standing or fuck buddying one more time and im gonna use my nerf gun on u every time you pop up on screen I god damn swear. Like the slut shaming I've seen against aro people is insane to me.

[transgang-deactivated20201105]

you know even if a homeless person or a starving person is in that position because of their own "bad decisions" i don't care. it doesn't matter. no supposed financial misstep is enough to condemn someone to homelessness or poverty.

[sapphoandvanzetti]

Search and rescue teams do not ask if a hiker was properly equipped and prepared before they go out to look for them. EMTs do not ask if a driver checked their mirrors before they take them to the hospital. Lifeguards do not ask if a swimmer made a mistake by going into a riptide before they dive in after them. Judgement doesn't help anyone, including you, the person doing the judging. Just help people. Just shut the fuck up and help people.

[alethisquishy]

Also the fact that mistakes become moral failures in this situation instead of a mistake in these situations has been a huge road block for even basic social or legal justice so often. I mean why do we always assume because a person is not "well kept" or even just wearing the nicer clothes they are more likely to commit any crime? I've heard plenty a church lady when I was growing up make those kind of accusations and anyone whose seen a dhar mann video also gets it though sadly the message he sends is often you dont know who is a millionaire/cop. Adding to the lists of why im not into organized religion anymore lol.

[alethisquishy]

Me returns to tumblr cause some one irl found my only other social media: back to the hut I go

My first post: I poop my coworkers also poop, we all use the trash can

[alethisquishy]

Me suddenly becoming competent the minute it hits January every year : I'm shocked I improved so much

My boss: oh your back to normal

Me: what? Oh... October slide

[alethisquishy]

Me shitting like I ate decently but on the exact opposite schedule as my post period uti while working in a mobile vehicle for bosses who are ...

"At least i found a toilet this time"

Also me " why the fuck is there shit in the trash can? And outside . And around... I only did one of those!!! I always take the trashcan out to shit!" Like girl we all got gi issues in this job glove up and just do it cause otherwise you'll be the one blamed.

[alethisquishy]

I have increased internet paranoia. A thing I thought was on a private cloud was made public upon app update and a employer saw my diary. As such they got mad. I know nothing on the internet is private but I forgot that included #securedclouds

[bumblebeebats]

Sometimes little pleasures in life are loadbearing. Whenever someone is like "If you'd just give up tea and coffee and sugar and--" im like I'll stop you right there. Because if you finish that sentence i am going to kill everyone in this building and then myself. If i have to face the horrors of the world without my little jar of caramel flavoured instant coffee i am going to go full American Psycho. Believe it or not, my main priority in life is not to have perfect teeth or be an Olympic athlete or look like a supermodel, but to actually enjoy living, because I spent far too long not doing that and it royally sucked. And boy, some people don't like hearing that. Particularly dentists

[alethisquishy]

Also like you look at yourself and say look how bad I am at x (saving money, eating healthy what have you) I have my one guilty pleasure and it shows how bad I am morally

[alethisquishy]

I finally got pain meds and now am functioning at a 3-4 (6 at flare ups) vs a 6-8(9+flareups) and I gotta say I didn't realize how much pain I was in till it was gone. Like I wasn't lazy and avoiding taking my dog to potty I was in pain and struggling to fucking function.

[alethisquishy]

I have an alarm that says "get out of bed you lazy little" on repeat. It is usually just to wake me up. Today I was already awake... the guilt

[notesfortherapy]

Sometimes I mask so hard that I too forget Im disabled.

Then I fall asleep in bed at 9pm watching Sims let's plays 😂

[alethisquishy]

Honestly the number of times that I've spoken to people assuming that everyone knows what the Sims is and that this the universal experience and then I'm shocked otherwise if it's scary