Alex @alexdrinkstea - Tumblr Blog

beautifugly

idk if those “spells” work but………. somehow it’s working, is it a placebo? anyways 10 lbs weight loss spell!

like to charge

reblog to release

daintydarlingg

I’ve lost almost 10lbs in 2 weeks so something is working 😂 PLEASE DON’T STOP WORKING

starving-gordita

I lost 10.1lbs in 13 days omgggggg I need to lose another 10 🤞

blackcoffeegoddess

I dont usualpy reblog this type of posts but i really need it rn😣

okayysophia

Saw this on Essence Magazine’s Snapchat and thought it would be helpful💕

tumblunni

Yeah seriously, sex education never told me any of this in school. Little me was panicked seeing the dark coloured bits and i had no clue that’s just the normal colour blood goes when its clotted or dried.

randomslasher

My brain decided to skip the “what does the color of your” on those first two and just read ‘PERIOD MEAN?’ and I was like “YES YES IT IS MEAN THANK YOU FOR ASKING”

reblogging because it’s very good information that all menstruating people should have, not because I’m a dumbass who can’t read

avocados-and-gays-blog

Like or reblog

if you’re in any of these fandoms (because we want new people to follow and mutuals)

- Love, Simon

- Eurovision

- Anything to do with Marvel

- Hayley Kiyoko

- Legends of Tomorrow

- Shawn Mendes

- One Day At a Time

- Brooklyn 99

- Harry Potter

- Little Mix

- Girl Meets World (and the cast)

- Glee

- Strangers Things

- IT

- Harry Styles

fionaapplerocks

Fiona Apple reading the ‘When the Pawn..’ poem in 1997

slimmersolstice

Spooky Scary ED Meme Skeletons

I use KakaoTalk and I found an emoticon pack with skeletons. This, of course, became the “Pro-Ana Emoticon Pack” and I made some memes:

fuzzy-forensics

OMFIFJSOFJS THIS IS SO FUNNY ESPECIALLY THE STANDING UP ONE AND THE DIET COKE ONE

stickslimthin-deactivated201711

Idk if i should laugh or what 😋

justwannabeskinnyy

~~~

uncannykiddo-blog

Literally everyone should see this

iwillbethinnn

Dead

justinsskinnycraving

These are hilarious Jesus Christ xD

amour-aveugle-deactivated201801

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING OMFGGG

to-be-the-little-one

HAHAHAHAHAHA ITS BACK

tryingtobebeautiful

HAHAHHAHAHA FIEBFKWNFN D

guysonfilms

Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix (My Own Private Idaho, 1991)

dykely

i want a girl to ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… hold me

dykely

honestly i wrote this about my gf before we started dating and now we live together and have been together for a year and a half so i’ve decided this post casts womanly love to all u ladies

moldable

rawrpeace

the gothest church. like. gothic. but gothicker.

wholesomedetectiveagency-blog

This is a church in Clermont Ferrand in France (abt an hour from where I live), it’s made from lava stone and it’s so cool

tracyalexander-deactivated20201

its like bloodborne is crossing into our world

counting-magpiess

Why?

“Why do I have this blog? Why are you “pro-ana?” Why are you glorifying EDs?“

I don’t want to. And I’m not, at least not actively. I guess I’m not condemning EDs either. Well here it is.

Anorexia is awful.

It destroys you. It’s obsessive and predatory.

You’ll never be happy.

It’ll never be enough.

And god, please. Don’t ever start. And please recover.

Then “why?” Why have this blog?

Well

Because I have nothing else.

My family doesn’t notice, my friends encourage my weightloss. They mean the best but they just don’t get it.

I’m not just some random person who wants to lose weight and says “oh I guess I’ll do anorexia.”

My life is fucking shit. Ana gives me purpose. She gives me a goal and a distraction from depression and other mental illness. From a fucked up home life. She promises to mend my broken self image and make me someone lovable.

And I’m not stupid, I know it’s not going to work out like that. I’ll just be ill and unwell and manipulating how I see my body. It’s sickness, I know it is, and I am suffering.

But if I let go of that hope of “maybe what she promises will come true” then I’ll have basically nothing left.

I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I hurt when I see others go through this. But I need this community.

This is so incredibly isolating and shameful. How do you tell someone that you can’t eat today because you woke up in the morning and your stomach wasn’t flat and it made you cry? How do you admit that if you make me eat butter I’ll have an anxiety attack? The pro-ana community let’s me admit what I’m going through anonymously.

It’s pathetic. And I only mean this towards myself. If it was anyone else I urge you, please please speak up.

But I can’t. I just can’t. Maybe it’s pride, more likely it’s fear. Of being weak. Of being hurt. Of being ripped of the future, however unrealistic, where I’ll be skinny and people will care about me.

This community is toxic in a way that’s unique. It’s filled with wonderful compassionate people who deserve the best, but we’re all unwell. And deep down we all know it but we keep on.

I’m not peer pressured into anorexia, I’m not doing it because it’s “glamorous” neither am I trying to make it seem so. And from what I’ve seen, other pro-ana blogs seem the same.

We’re here because we’re depending on this mental illness. Each individual. Each story.

And it’s nice to live in a fantasy for a moment. Look at thin people and imagine how life will be like that. Post sweet messages to assure each other, and mean ones to motivate. To support one another in this path that teters on the edge of a fucking cemetery.

Because this is our life and for one reason or another each of us are here for a reason.

You *never* see anti recovery posts here because we commend those who make it out. It’s a downward spiral painting in calorie free sugar. It’s not a game. It’s not a lifestyle.

Why don’t we all quit and just recover then? Why don’t I quit and just recover?

Well

It’s because I feel like I don’t deserve to.

I know I should but I don’t. Because I’m chasing this fantasy, because ana is my crutch.

And this community assures me I’m not alone. That what I’m chasing is obviously bad, but I’m not the only one. It’s fucked up and it shouldn’t exist but it’s let’s me indulge and for a moment I’m just

Not alone.

And it doesn’t tell me to stop because “just eat” isn’t going to fix me. I’m anorexic. I’m still going to be anorexic. This community just let’s me be what I already am.

Anyone can tell you “you’re beautiful” so many communities say “all bodies are perfect.” And I agree, but I’m the exception. And that pro-ana blog thinks she’s the exception. And her, and her, and him, and her, and them.

And then you hear the voice that doesn’t say what you always hear and never believe.

“You’re big, you’re fat, you’re ugly

but

you have the power to change that.”

And for once the power is in my hands. I can be beautiful. I can have that chance, that possibility, that fantasy.

I want to be like thinspo.

I want to be this dream version of me.

I want to be supported for a moment and have a goal

A happy future

A purpose

And even just a twisted self punishment

Not just “all bodies are beautiful”