grayson

[allthemenivebeen]

about me (reloaded)

i was very active in 2023 and then i nuked my account. now im back

this blog is lowkey just a diary right now. sorry for being boring

music / audio engineering student. NOT AT BERKLEE. math minor. class of 2027 :)

21 and queer. he/him. masshole ((minors DNI))

i'm a bassist and really into music in general. add me on RateYourMusic! i blog a lot about my music life there

things I’m keeping up with: the pitt, creepcast, the boys

i tag everything i post / reblog for organization purposes

grayson’s blog :)

[allthemenivebeen]

im like wall-e if he was a gay chud

[allthemenivebeen]

added something to my digital diary (not my blogger) for the first time since 2025. if i have learned anything from reading back on it this evening with my bottle of wine, it’s that love isn’t some finite thing that can be poisoned by someone, which is what i thought about 8 months ago. it’ll always return feeling entirely different but somehow also the same at its core.

anyways the point is I’m in love again but i’m keeping it a secret from my boyfriend for now. i did not expect this to happen so fast (today marks 4 weeks??????) but it’s such a unique and surreal emotion that i knew what it was the instant it happened on thursday. ‘taking it slow’ had us official by day 20 so we’ll see how this goes i guess

[molabuddy]

3 hours of sleep = i hate people who laugh

0 ours of sleep = waouw 🌼🌼🌼🌼🐎

[allthemenivebeen]

out here sobbing over my anatomy but maynard james keenan himself said this body shit doesn’t matter so I should probably chill out

[allthemenivebeen]

mmm yes.. gender dysphoria episode.. thanks me

[allthemenivebeen]

making out isnt enough. how do i merge souls and bodies with this person

[xxguerrillaxxoperatorxx]

MAGRUDERGRIND

[musicsideblogofwhichbelongstome]

I feel it's inevitable with how much -core shit going on that one day punk-core is going to be a thing and when it eventually does we gotta beat it to death with a large stick

[neshamama]

kustiyah, "tiga domba [three sheep]," 1963, oil on canvas

[allthemenivebeen]

the more i think about how other people in my life have treated me the more thankful i am for my boyfriend because what the fuck do you mean this is how it’s supposed to have been the whole time. i lowkey have emotional trauma to process i think

[allthemenivebeen]

my ex situationship might try to attack me again tonight if he’s at this hardcore show but the power of music and friendship and homosexuality will protect me

[allthemenivebeen]

ex situationship is actually the worst phrase ever but what else am i supposed to call that ‘friendship’ where we said i love you and we wanted to meet each other’s families and would do borderline PDA on occasion but never actually talked about it because he was actually secretly seeing a partner i never heard about until he hard launched them at me on a weekend where we were supposed to hang out

[allthemenivebeen]

my ex situationship might try to attack me again tonight if he’s at this hardcore show but the power of music and friendship and homosexuality will protect me

[allthemenivebeen]

i had a dream that i was intensely and mutually in love with one of my closest friends. im pretty sure we kissed too. the whole time i remember thinking that it just felt right and that we shouldve started dating ages ago. i have never felt that way about him in reality and he’s not even into dudes. the last time i had a dream like this i actually liked the person and ive never had a dream where my emotions didnt reflect how im actually feeling. im just freaked out because I Swear To God i do not feel that way. like yes he’s attractive but he’s genuinely just one of my boys. none of my irls can know about this🫩

[allthemenivebeen]

….anyways the 9th will mark one month with “just one of my boys” that i “Swear To God i do not feel that way” for. now why was I lying to myself on my own Tumblr?

[allthemenivebeen]

i used to think people could only fall in love once because of how intense and surreal the feeling was. i felt like that first person was going to be everything forever and that if i ever fell again i’d feel dirty. like they’d always occupy all those emotions in my head and that i’d never have enough love to give to someone new. thank god it doesn’t work that way!

[allthemenivebeen]

missing the pseudo intellectualism i felt from 19-20

[depsidase]