AllyBallSnackWiggle

Forever slightly hungry and slightly annoyed. I have a baby and I swear a lot.

[allyballsnackwiggle]

It's really hard to feel like a bad bitch when you're covered in baby pee.

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I wonder if Beyonce has ever had to walk herself and her baby to the shower with one boob out and a streak of baby poop on her dress.

[allyballsnackwiggle]

Scabies is bed bugs, except you're the bed

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The same week I fit back into my pre-pregnancy shorts, I find out about Chips Ahoy coffee at Dunkin. Stupid.

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Can't get enough of this squish 😍

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Yeah I'm late to the party. Spent the last two weeks watching the entire series and ended it today.

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Seriously is Mercury in fucking retrograde or am I just surrounded by morons?

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Pregnancy is DELIGHTFUL.

*28 weeks, and my heartburn is so bad that I puke in my mouth a little bit every time I bend over. *I can't see my vagina anymore and I feel like I've lost a friend. It's been real, pal. See you on the other side. *"Do you wanna get on top?" Uh I don't know bro, do you want to have to look at me from that angle? How about I just roll over on my side so we can both ignore the elephant in the room/my uterus. *Everything smells like garbage and I'm starving all the time and I'm psychotic and I cried today because I saw a duck cross the street. So. All in all it's going really well.

[burninghollows-deactivated20130]

[allyballsnackwiggle]

Perfect

[allyballsnackwiggle]

Bitch we were singing a text duet