These Awful Illuminations

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Purpose

The island where God lives has no place for me. I leave with a disease in my loungs To make the world good again.

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Reverent

I have made a home in the many rooms of her heart. The nasty boy in me wants to tear down the wall paper and see what’s inside But I refrain. These walls are celestial For God has made a home there too. I, like god will adorn them with diamonds, gold and pearls And make no mockeries of She who crowned me Her own

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Moses

God isn’t exploded in the skies He’s a burning bush In your eyes. I remove my shoes and approach that flame With a whisper Caged between my ribs "I just want a wife a home And some children Please A wife A home And some children"

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Louisville Confessions

I squandered the gift of music and fucked half of Louisville because they had me. Confessing my sins over a familial dinner and bitter wine they sunk their heads to their plates In shame.

I spat fire running Bardstown amok wreaking of alcohol and sweat and sex and never sought reconciliation for dalliances born of a cruel winter some southern devil cursed upon me. That sweet duchess of New Orleans. Id rather be dragged through those ancient streets by the roof of my mouth than be condemned another head baking summer pretending idleness in the cage of happiness

my skin feeling like stretched leather and all that.

My asylum Louisville Angelic and Twisted And genius Louisville. My house of cards fell and I ran wild along side you parallel, naked and bloody In compliance of order but always opposite of summons cursed to a soul who never had any say.

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Some Days

There are some days When my blood feels like battery acid as it flows through the sewers of my body And my stomach feels like a black hole devouring everything and returns nothing in kind and my arms feel like rubber bands that say “I will go this far and no further” then slap me in the face when I stretch beyond my reach.

There are some days when I don’t recognize my reflection and scream at the mirror “What did you do to him? Where did you put him?” These days I’d rather retreat like a bat to my room and sleep it off like an all night binger

These days Id rather ball up in your arms and feel your body And remember those other days and hope for days to come that aren’t like these days.

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Vacancy

You made room in that cramped Studio and it was all to crowded You made space where there Was none to be had. The space resides empty. My hearts evolved silent And my thoughts more violent. I too went away When you left Louisville That day.

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I Miss Reading

I love being loved And I love to love. I bore my seed atop bellies And was happy to my core. Though I must admit I love my solitude more

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We Make Terrible Acrobats

I gave all of me to stand on.

To reach those heavenly lights.

Not a square inch was wasted.

As you grew I could not hold

that infantile weight

born of winters cold.

N.W

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A Light In My Belly

I woke up to the rarest of days.

Teeth gnashing anxiety

at bay;

A sort of depressive

sobriety.

I felt a light in my belly.

It crept its way up my spine

and wrote its story across

constellations and clusters of

freckles.

It may have appeared that

I fell for a girl

or won the lottery

but I didn’t

It was just a light

In my belly.

N.W

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Origins

I laid on top of you barren and charred my head stacked on your breast listening to the silent spaces between each thud. I gripped your neck and shoulder when I recognized the holy ghost’s rhythm in your veins and in those naked minutes I knew the origin of all things. N.W

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We Dont Need Another Martyr

So I'm like "fuck it" I had you last night. You said a first encounter isn't any reason to uncross legs exposing sinister secrets of pleasure but you did. you stripped off your panties like a terrible burden to bare. Then i entered that place like some synagogue impostor. You moaned and cried as i steered then died for brief sensations coaxed by sullen inebriations maybe two no.. Three times fold. I nailed myself to a splintered cross for your approval and you never cried at my feet so I'm like "fuck it." When you played that third round of pool with some patsy friend

I'm like “fuck it.” N.W

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Indisposed

I was born of a idea

for things beauty hoped for.

I never had a say

but now I do

and i think I'd like to

stay. N.W

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San Francisco Sounds Lonely

Sing a lowly

holy holy

when the absentees

memories flood your eyes

and know some one some where loves you

more.

N.W

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Heaven

I’ve always dreamt heaven

(If such a realm exists)

To be full of every person

we’ve ever met.

Everyone is waving at you

with ecstatic smiles

that stretch for miles and miles.

And we all have a chance to greet

and welcome all those

we were blessed to meet

In our waking hours.

N.W