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“Ban makeup bro” that’s one way of telling me you’ve never had a girlfriend

Status update on everything that happened

Sorry I was freaking out yesterday and today I kinda was forced to eat a lot sadly

- 2 cookies with my friends (not sure how much because homemade they said around 170 per cookie so 340)

- a sandwhich (this one was homemade by my dad but I’m guessing like 420 calories based on what was in it)

- a snack (some cashews and chocolates with my mom 210 calories)

- some protein bars that my friends made me eat because my moms decided to EMAIL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS PARENTS (great so I can’t use my friends as an excuse now… also the protein bars were 400 calories based:( )

- a breakfast smoothie (530 calories ughhh)

Total calories: 1900 calories

This is the most I’ve eaten in a freaking while. I feel like I just binged but can’t do anything about it.

HOWEVER there is good news. I’m not, hopefully…, going to recovery because I gave a really bad excuse for when my parents found out but they believed it… I mean they didn’t but they did enough. And I was monitored somewhat today but like not enough. Like there were ways I could have advoided eating. Continuing this statement, I’m TRYING to fast till Sunday. Not saying it will work but… I mean if I just try to do it right it could…

So far I’ve only got 2000 steps today but I’m going to try to get some before I have to start all my missing assignments.

The good thing is yes I ate a lot but I shouldn’t gain anything… hopefully

I’ll just consider this as a binge day and continue with my may plan

My mom’s threatening recovery. Please if anyone else has experiences with parents finding out please share because I feel so isolated and alone rn

#i hate eating

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I’m so incredibly fucked.

My mom just found food in the trash can. It was chicken and my brother is a vegetarian. She knows. There no doubt in the world that she knows and I’m going to cry.

I can’t go to recovery I can’t eat I barely lost any weight. I’m so don’t what’s happening in my life. I should’ve been more careful I should’ve known but I’m so stupid and so ignorant. I could’ve just checked and made sure but no.

So um… that’s a fucking terrific end to my day

Day 2 of fasting stats plus a picture of my beautiful diet green tea which I had probably 10 cups of today)

I found where my scale is! I either have to weight myself in early morning, preferably, or after school, which may screw up the reading because of liquids I may have drank but more motivation ig. I’ll have it tomorrow, so I’ll get my weight then!

Im going to start a daily diary so this is day one and I guess I’ll just see how it ends up going.

Day 1: 2/5/2026 (Saturday)

I’d say today was a somewhat successful day. I still have like 16 missing assignments from when I was sick, which, yes, I’m just going to do tomorrow. I also did not get out of bed, due to said sickness, till around 3 pm, which is quite sad. However, I still got my daily walk in, and only got 10,000 steps, but at least reached my goal. I also didn’t eat anything, and my dad actually bought me diet green tea, a huge bottle of it, so I’ll have that for a while as well as Diet Coke and some low cal coffee creamer. So today I did reach my goals, but I do think that I could be more productive because besides walking I generally just scrolled on my phone. I tried making a general schedule for what I want to do tomorrow, but I usually never accomplish following those schedules I make so… but the general things I need to do tomorrow are:

-Go on a long walk (I have a lot of free time tomorrow because I’m not working and my bf is traveling so I can probably go on a long walk. I may want to go on a couple shorter walks because my mom is already somewhat suspicious of my behavior, but I think I can go on one 2 hour one, and then one a little later with my dog)

-obviously fast (day 2 of fasting is usually not the hardest so I think I’ll be fine. I can easily avoid breakfast, lunch, and then dinner I can avoid as long as my mom doesn’t want to eat together)

- missing schoolwork (I lowkey missed 3 tests while I was gone…)

-reading (generally behind on this so I should probably just do some)

Those are my goals for tomorrow but I’m not sure. I hope it’s going to be a good day and I’ll still have some energy, I usually do on day 2 of my fast. Day three is where it usually gets harder, so I’ll make plans for that in tomorrow’s journal.

Love you angels!

Fast day one stats

Anyone wanna be Ana buddies I would love that!

17 days late to my period I hope I finally lost it and it’s not just extremely late.

I don’t have a scale anymore and it’s making me really nervous and mad ughhh like I can tell I’ve lost weight but there’s no conforming like

Im 18 in less than a month.

I just can’t wait to live on my own in college

Sorry I was gone for so long, I was at a family thing and couldn’t get access to tumblr. But I’m back!

I’m so done my mom has

Found my scale

Found my medicine thingys

What am I supposed to do she definitely knows but I don’t know

I can’t wait to move out in under a year

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck my mom found my medicines that I labeled appetite suppressant and she tried talking to me about it and I’m afraid she’s going to call my doctor or something

I’m not even skinny what am I supposed to fucking do bro

I can’t wait to move out so I can be peaceful on my own

If I’m not skinny I’m not anything. That’s why I need to be skinny.

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