[gnatsattack]

My parents HATE overwatch because it takes up our entire wifi whenever my brother goes online and when I bought myself the new Zelda my mom was like “can I watch Netflix? or are you playing” and I was like no, no don’t worry it doesn’t take up internet. and she was so relieved and started walking towards the TV in her room and I was like “you want to watch it out here? I can switch to the handheld mode” and she was so impressed that she could watch Master Chef next to me while I played my game. Nintendo is truly the family system.

[meshugenist]

nintendo paid for this post

[sorryfortheraybans-deactivated2]

blizzard payed for that reply

[hollowtones]

I paid for my lunch today (one of sandwich, meat ball sub)

[sorryfortheraybans-deactivated2]

did it taste good?

[hollowtones]

it was very good. thank you for asking :) i hope you have a good lunch tomorrow 

[dicksmasher]

reblog for a good lunch tomorrow

[chrissongzzz]

[tyleroakley]

i’m too high for this

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[terrapincentury-deactivated2018]

hold me tigjt like hamburger

[phony-time-traveler-deactivated]

Icarly was fucking terrifying

Sam knocked out a female heavy weight wrestler in one move, after directly asking her “Hey I’m pissed wanna throw down” and getting consent. She was 100% prepared for combat at that moment.

Freddy Hacked into a military computer, made a youtube video that could permanently damage your eyes, and also turned a toy gun into a functional laser gun.

Spencer had the gift of pyrokinesis which went off at random and this was treated as only a medium inconvenience.

Carly was able to manipulate all 3 of these people, one of them being her legal guardian. Sam and Freddy were said to be able to argue indefinitely, Sam even getting into a fight with her mom for so long the therapist who forced them into conversation nearly went insane.

Yet Carly could just say “Hey guys shut up” and they would stop talking right away.

[thenixkat]

Didn’t they have a rival who was pretty much just a straight up supervillain?

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

i romantically stand outside your window and hold up my iPhone to blast our song. a 30 second ad plays first

[disclaymore-deactivated20230920]

@theflatisamess

[paininmyassachusetts]

I taste blood for some reason lmao

[daco-broman]

don’t tell nobody this shit but yo body actually full of that shit

[marshals-to-dictators]

You deadass?

[gayslimeblock]

Me coming back from mining to see all my tamed dogs I left sitting down so they wouldn’t get hurt

[hypersexualsportswear]

[helloitsbees]

Schrödinger’s vaguepost

[oppa-homeless-style]

this is the twitter equivalent of the sound of a gun cocking in an unlit parking garage

[alexandriaocasiocortez]

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were at my house party and all they did was stand in the corner and blink in sync with each other. At one point I saw Mary-Kate put a cigarette to her mouth and take a long drag, then Ashley blew out the smoke.

[aries-saunter]

When u look at OP but this time it’s not one-time-i-dreamt

[pi4nobl4ck]

[theawesomeadventurer]

i am on another plane right now and this video has me convinced that I reached nirvana for a few seconds

[funnyposts]

the first time i watched this video i was stoned out of my motherfucking MIND and i watched it on loop for 25 minutes

[pointnclick]

how to fast travel: down nyquil and sleep on the public bus

[pointnclick]

tried to do this and saw a man sitting in the back dead ass eating an entire whole cucumber and remembered i cant fast travel with enemies nearby

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

mix NyQuil and DayQuil to create Quil

[lured-deactivated20170602]

what does Quil do

[softbutxh-deactivated20170428]

All the time all the time

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[theyellowbrickroad]

i had the best human interaction of all time last night. i was sitting at a bar eating an appetizer and this guy comes up to order a drink and stares at my food and comments how good it looks. when i am drunk i use the word bitch like it is a comma, i plug it into any space in a sentence possible. so naturally the first thing i say to this stranger is, “go ahead and take one, bitch.”

he looks SO shocked and taken aback and goes “what did you just say? how do you know my name?” so i sit there for a moment trying to figure out what the fuck he is talking about, and then go, “…. bitch?” and he looks so relieved and tells me his name is mitch.

i cannot stop thinking about this. oh my god. imagine going into a bar and someone you know for a fact youve never met approaches you and says “go ahead and take one, mitch.” im cracking the fuck up. he looked like he thought this was the fucking truman show

[mysillycomics]

[quibbs]

keep a frame a photo of someone u hate for motivation

[bardstardish]

my mama got home today and she was so excited. she said she got me a present, so then i was excited too. i had no idea what she got me. she said ‘close your eyes and put your hands out’, so i did. and then i felt her put something in my hands. i opened my eyes and

“i saw it and it was chubby and you called a frog ‘big boy’ last night and i had to get it! it’s big boy!”

[bardstardish]

mama loves that you all think she’s very sweet and she got inspired and went back today and got 2 more to show you all!!

she said “tell the ones that liked big boy thank you and that he has 2 friends now thanks to them!”

[frognonbinary-deactivated202412]

quality post