pairing: y/n and matt sturniolo
I'm actually very proud of this one, so I hope you enjoy this read 😉
Summary: You and Matt are best friends, who occationaly have sex on the low. No string attached, just sex. Well, just sex for him. Little did he know you were falling in love and falling fucking fast.
warnings: smut smut smutty smut 😃 if you do not like the fact that there is sexual content in this, do not read this one. read one of my fluffs! swearing, mentions of not eating (no hard core details). drugs, alcohol, angst.
hope you love it, tell me what you think babes
I wish I could say I knew how I got myself in this situation but by now my mind and memory of agree to this is a little blurry. Four months ago, I got myself into a little situation with one of my friends. Matthew Sturniolo. Over one drunk make out, the alcohol working against me, I had agreed to friends with benefits with one of my best friends. I remembered it all so clearly.
"Matt" I breathed as his pinned my hands up against the door. His lips trailing down my neck, as he pushed himself against me, feeling his length press against my stomach. "Y/n" He mumbled against my neck.
"There gonna know were gone" I said closing my eyes. He lifted this head and connected our lips roughly, I tasted the vodka on his lips. "Let them know" He said against my lips. I smiled into him. He let my hands go, as he trailed his hand up my shirt and pinched my nipple over my bra. I shuttered against him.
I lifted my head and looked at him. His eyes were dark and he was looking at me in a way I'd never seen before. I pushed him back slightly, forcing him to walk backwards his ankles hitting the bed, sitting down looking up at me. I smiled down at him, before climbing on top of him. He smiled, grabbing my jaw and bringing our lips back together.
We kissed roughly, like two needy teenagers. He bit my lip slowly, fuck he was a good kisser. I breathed in before pulling away. "What are we doing?" I whispered looking at him. He was my best friend what the hell was I doing? He licked his lips.
"Right now, were making out I thought" He smiled. I rolled my eyes. Still in a state like this he still made jokes. "Matt" I smiled looking down. He pushed my face back up to look at him, looking at me with a soft smile. "What?" He whispered. I bit my lip.
"Do you want to do this?" He asked looking at me. I blinked at him. I couldn't lose our friendship. I couldn't lose Nick and Chris either. My mind was pushing me back and forth.
"What about our friendship?" I whispered looking at him. He sighed as he looked down at me as his hands trailed to my lower back and under my ass. "Are you worried about that?" He breathed. I nodded.
He sighed before kissing the side of my face, then pressing his lips against my ear. "Fuck y/n/n, I don't know. I want you so bad I'm hurting" He said in a low voice grinding his hard on against me, making me shutter my eye closed.
"Fuck" I whined, already feeling a pit in my stomach. My eyes shot up in a realization.
He doesn't know I'm a virgin.
I swallowed as he lifted his head back up looking at me. "Tell me you want this as much as I do" He breathed, making me nod. "Tell me with your voice" He said gripping my chin and opening my mouth. I swallowed.
"I want this" I whispered. He just looked at me. "But I can't risk our friendship" I whispered. He sighed looking down, before glancing back up at me.
"Friends with benefits?" he asked smiling, making me chuckle. I looked back up up him, realizing he was waiting for an actual answer. "I don't want a relationship. You don't want to risk our friendship. Let's just play it safe." He said looking at me. I swallowed. He leaned down kissing me softly.
"No strings attached" He whispered an inch from my face. "Just sex?" I whispered. "Just sex" He nodded. God, I shouldn't have had that last vodka soda. I bit my lip, thinking while he pulled down with his thumb, making me stop.
"I know you don't date y/n.." He said softly. I looked to the side, suddenly embarrassed in front of the one person I felt most comfortable around. "I know you don't hook up with random people" He said kissing my jaw line. I breathed out, as he pulled his hand that was on my ass against him. I hitched my breath.
"And from the way I feel you pulsing against me right now-" He said his eyes dark, the blue in his eyes completely gone as he looked at me. I felt my face go red, oh my god. "Who knows the last time you've been touched" He whispered. My heart was beating out of my chest. He traced my face with his finger.
"Hm?" He hummed. I breathed looking down. I pulled my lip in between my teeth. He pulled on my lip. "Stop doing that" He said making me look up at him. He stared at me. He reached down between us, feeling me under my dress. "Fuck" I jerked.
"Overly sensitive" He whispered. I looked up at him through my eyelashes. He went up against my ear. "I bet you're soaking wet, must be uncomfortable hm?" He teased. I felt my pulse in my throat. I've never gone anything like this before, him just rubbing his fingers back and forth over me could get me off. I whined leaning my head on his shoulder in front of me.
"Just say the word, princess and I'll make sure you never get to this point ever again" He said above me. Princess? I couldn't think. I could do this. It felt too good to stop.
"Matt?" I whispered. "Yes princess" He answered. "Fuck me" I stated and in one swift movement he picked me up and threw me on the bed.
It was amazing at first, after I got over the fear of having sex without the other person knowing I'd never done it before. Always being able to get what I want when I want with no strings attached. It would have been my commitment-issues-ass's wet dream, and it was. For the first month or two. But as the weeks went on, something changed. Something changed in the way I cared for him. The pull on my heart strings when he flirted with someone else. The way he dropped my hand when someone else was around. It started to effect me.
It started as a wince every here and there. It would hurt my feelings every other time. Now it was like a full-on punch in the face. The only reason I was still agreeing to this on the surface was because when it was just me and him, all of the self-doubt, all of the second guesses, all of the hurt feelings went away. Like my body went into shock, not being able to feel the pain until the adrenaline in my body stopped. Until he stopped kissing me. Until he stopped playing with my hair. Until he stopped calling me baby or princess.
I kept convincing myself the high was worth the pain. That the few hours of play-pretend of being Matt Sturniolo's girlfriend was worth the reality of the situation hitting me like a truck once I stepped out into public. Now sitting here I wondered to myself, was it? Was it worth it?
Maybe if he didn't kiss me after everything was over. Maybe if he didn't insist on taking care of me first and sometimes walking away after saying that he only wanted to please me that night. Maybe if he didn't insist on cuddling after or kissing me with no sexual-indication. Maybe if he didn't look deep into my eyes as he was inside of me. If he just closed his eyes and made no emotionally attachment, like he claimed he wanted, this wouldn't have happened.
Maybe if he didn't whisper that I was only going to be the one for him, that no one would ever compare to me, that I was his when I wasn't. Just maybe I wouldn't have gotten attached. But I did. I was falling and I was falling hard. I was falling in love with him and I hated myself for it. Falling bracing for the ground, for a soft impact but I knew hard ground was coming.
The truth of the situation was, is that it was eating me alive. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I couldn't think about anything other than him and it was effecting our friendship. I couldn't be friendly with him around other people because it would hurt me every time he treated me like any other friend when the night before he was showing me the deepest kind of love possible.
It was like a drug. I couldn't pull myself away, because I think it would kill me more than it is right now. I couldn't live without him and I couldn't live with him. It was the better of the two worst. So 3-5 times a week, I took my drug and went on with my life. Or at least tried to. The one person I couldn't hide from was Lucy. She could see it. She was the only one who knew about Matt and I other than his brothers. She was there for the start of it and has seen it slowly destroy me, but I still wouldn't admit it.
So here I was back again, blinking at the ceiling.
Matt sighed beside me after coming back from the bathroom. I had pulled his shirt on after he threw it at me and he had slid his boxers back on. I felt him pull me over to him. I looked up as he smiled down at me as I placed my head on his chest, letting out a breath. He reached up running his fingers through my hair.
"Are you hungry?" He asked softly massaging my scalp. I wrapped my arms around his torso, hugging him as I laid there inhaling his scent. "Not really" I mumbled. He chucked looking down at me. "You comfy?" He asked smiling. I nodded closing my eyes, pretending this was real. That this was always.
"Chris and Nick and I are going out later to get food, I was gonna ask you to join us" He said above me. I let go of him, leaning back beside him. He lifting his hand from my head as he looked at me. "I told Lucy I'd be home tonight to help her cook for her date" I said looking at him and he smiled raising his eyebrows.
"A date?" He asked. I nodded smiling. He hummed. "Good for her" He smiled. "Why don't you cook for me?" He asked turning over to me. My face stilled. Because we aren't dating Matthew. I wanted to say so badly, but I just shrugged. "Do you want me to?" I asked looking at him. Kill me now. I'm so pathetic It's embarssing. He nodded.
"I'd like that" He said softly running his hand down my leg. I looked down. "Come back over here" He whined grabbing my waist and pulling me back over him. I sighed leaning on him. Killing me. "You seem sad for a girl who was seeing stars 5 minutes ago" He chucked as he pushed his shirt up that was on my body rubbing small circles on my lower back. I sighed hearing his heart quietly beating in his chest.
"Hey" He whispered making me look back up at him. "What's wrong?" He asked moving his thumb over my cheek. His touch sent sparks down my face. His face furrowed in worry as he looked down at me, killing me.
"Nothing, just tired" I lied blinking at him. He frowned. "You sure?" He asked. Not sure actually. Actually never been less sure in my life. Actually positvily not sure. I nodded. He smiled and leaned down kissing my forehead. I moved my other leg over him and sat up, straddling him as he laid beneath me. He smiled up at me, running his hands over my legs.
"You're so pretty" He smiled up at me. I leaned down capturing his mouth in a slow unrushed kiss for a few seconds before parting from him briefly. "I should go" I whispered an inch from his face. He sighed and frowned. He reached down shifting my hips to line up with his, making his dick that was already hard again known, sending sparks up all the right but so wrong places. I sighed from the pressure, leaning my head on his forehead.
"Don't go yet" He whispered. "Matt" I said but instead he closed the small gap between us kissing me again. I whined as he bit my lip slowly. He pressed down on my hips, pushing himself harder against me. I moaned against his lips.
"You make the prettiest sounds" He said against my lips. My heart clenched. "Stop talking" I stated grabbing his face and kissing him harder. I didn't need him to speak. It just made it worse. He matched my speed kissing me harder and pushing his tongue in my mouth. He flipped us over quickly, grinding up against me again. "Matt" I said leaning my head back.
"What is it baby?" He whispered before kissing my neck. I closed my eyes. "It's too much. I can't again. Too sensitive" I said in fast breaths. He ignored me grinding against me again. "You can take it baby. If there's anyone who can take it, it's you. My perfect princess" He said his eyes already dark again. My perfect princess. I squeezed my eyes shut again, I can't do this. My heart can't do this.
"Can you take it?" He whispered as he grabbed my leg and wrapped it around his hips. I whined. "Words I need words" He said again. I opened my eyes as I looked up at him again. He looked down at me as he waited for my consent. My throat ran dry. I opened my mouth, but then there was knocking on the door. Matt's head dropped and he groaned before rolling off of me. Leaving me staring at the ceiling.
He turned off the bed and pulled on his sweatpants on before walking over to the door, opening it slightly. "What do you want?" Matt asked sharply. "We're starving" Chris said crossing his arms. Matt sighed looking back at me. "Are you coming?" He asked looking at me. I sat up.
"No, I need to get going I think"
I defenietly needed to get the fuck out of here. He nodded and turned back to Chris. "Give me 20 minutes" Matt said looking at Chris. "I'll give you 5 how about that?" Chris complained from the other side of the door. "Who's the one with the keys?" Matt said. I stood up off the bed.
"No Matt, It's fine you go. I'm leaving" I said pulling on my shorts, out of Chris's view. Matt bit his lip before turning back to Chris. "I'll meet you in the car, go" Matt said before closing the door and turning back to me, while I gathered my stuff.
"I'm sorry about him" Matt said as he walked over to me. I shook my head. "Go feed the hungry boys" I laughed picking up my keys. "Will I see you tomorrow?" He asked looking up at me. I looked down nodding as I slipped on my shoes. He searched the bed as I walked to the door.
I turned at the sound of my name. Matt looked at me and then down, point at the shirt on my body. "Can I get my shirt back?" He asked. My face dropped as I glanced down at the shirt. I swallowed my pride as I set my stuff down taking off the shirt and slipping back on my tank top.
I threw it to him. He smiled and pulled it over his head. I took this opportunity to walk out of the room, mumbling a quick bye without waiting for a response.
I closed the door quietly before I immediatly heard footsteps.
I winced as I heard Lucy walking in the room. I turned around and saw her looking at me with her hands raised and her eyes wide. "6" She stated. I looked down at my feet, like a little kid being yelled at.
"6 o'clock you said you would be back to help me" She shook her head. "Lucy-" I sighed walking into the kitchen. "What time is it!" She looked down at her phone. "7:45" She stated. I bit my lip as I set down my keys on the counter.
"Lucy I'm sorry I-" I started to say. "Where were you?" She asked crossing her arms over her chest. I looked up at her guilt all over my face. Her angry face softened as she walked over to me. I looked up at her.
"Matt texted me and I-" I started. She groaned rolling her eyes. "Matt, of fucking course it was Matt. You had me sitting here thinking it was an emergency and you were off with Matt of all people doing god knows what!" She yelled at me.
"I know Lucy! Okay I get it! I've heard the speech before, I don't need to hear it again" I said looking up at her. "He's no good for you, why do you do this to yourself, he only wants sex. Blah blah. I get it!" I yelled at her. Her face hardened.
"We have an agreement okay? It it was it is. Were friends who have sex it's normal!" I sighed looking at her. "It's not normal" She argued. I glared at her. "It's normal for us!" I threw my hands up.
"No" She shook her head. "You don't get to yell at me okay?" She snapped. "I don't get you" She scoffed shaking her head. "You sit here and you tell me about Matt this Matt that. I see it in you. I see it in your eyes, you're killing yourself. You're killing yourself over what? Some guy?" She said.
"It's not just some guy" I argued. "I'm not done" She put up her hand. "When was the last time you ate something?" She asked making my head drop low to the ground.
"What's not fair is you to go over there and do this to yourself willingly." She pointed to the door. "And you promised me" She dropped her arm. "You promised me that you would help me with this one thing" She said shaking her head. I swallowed. Guilt filled my chest.
"I know" I said putting my face in my hands. She sighed as silence filled the room for a second. "You're being a bad roommate" She almost whispered. I swallowed, feeling tears filling my eyes. "and a bad friend" She said looking over at me. I reached up wiping a stray tear.
"I'm sorry" I said in a whisper. She sighed moving over next to me. She put her hand on my back. "What's going on y/n?" She asked placing her hand on my arm. I let out a shaky breath, wiping my face. I shook my head. "Nothing" My voice broke. She bit her lip as she looked at me.
"Y/n" She said making me look up at her. "He's killing you" She whispered. I shook my head, but my face failed me as tears started to come uncontrolably out of my eyes. She sighed pulling me into a hug, as I cried into her chest.
"Why d-does he hold me a-after?" I said as I cried and she rubbed my face. "Why does h-he kiss my forehead" I cried. She just sighed hugging me. "It's not fair" I said shaking my head. "It's not f-fair" I sobbed. "Shh" She said softly. She pulled me back after a few seconds.
"You have to stop seeing him" She tilted her head at me. I shook my head quickly, wiping my eyes. "I-I can't lose him" I said. She stepped forward holding my arm. "You can't go on like this" She said with concerned eyes. I nodded. "It's okay. It's fine. It's what he wants I can-" I started to say.
"What about what you want?" She asked looking at me. "Does he care about what you want?" She asked me. I looked down and shrugged. She sighed. "I want to help you y/n, but sadly I think you're just going to ignore what I have to say and go through it the hard way" She said honestly and she was probably right.
"Just try to talk to him about how you're feeling maybe? Clear up the air? Can you just try to talk to him about it?" She asked. I looked down at my feet. She pursed her lips. "I'll try" I whispered.
"Okay" She whispered, pulling me into another hug. I sighed leaning on her shoulder. She just held me for a few minutes. "I'm sorry I didn't help you with your date thing" I whispered after a few minutes.
"It's okay" She sighed. I shook my head. "It's not. I should have been here" I swallowed. She looked down. "It won't happen again" I whispered and she nodded. She looked at me. "Go shower you smell like boy" She smiled pushing my shoulder, making me smile slightly. I sighed walking towards my room.
After my shower I felt better. After crying a few more tears, I pulled myself together. I was going to talk to Matt. Lucy was right, I can't live like this. Hooking up with him and then feeling like shit after. Just hoping one day all of this would make him love me too. It wasn't any way to live.
I laid down on my bed, wrapped in my towel. My hair smelled good, my face was washed. Everything was okay. I picked up my phone to see a missed text. I opened my phone.
from: Matt Stromboli 9:24pm
Hey what are you up to? 🙃
I sighed. I shouldn't reply. Say I missed his text if I saw him tomorrow. I set my phone down. I glanced back over to it. Drug. Drug. Drug. I picked it back up. Maybe he's just being friendly, after all we are friends.
to: Matt Stromboli 9:32pm
Hey. Nothing, just got out of the shower.
I pressed send and unwrapped my towel starting to dry my hair when I felt a buzz next to me. I looked over swiping it open.
from: Matt Stromboli 9:33pm
I sighed and rubbed my face. This would never end. I will be stuck in this position until i'm 30.
to: Matt Stromboli 9:33pm
I bit my lip as I sent it. I never said no. Never. This was one step in the right direction. My phone buzzed almost immediatly.
from: Matt Stromboli 9:34pm
You always send pics :( Come on, you blue balled me earlier
I rolled my eyes starting to see more of the irratation in the situation instead of the lust.
to: Matt Stromboli 9:35pm
Actually your brother blue balled you. Also blue balls don't exist :)
I smiled as I hit send. Buzz.
from: Matt Stromboli 9:35pm
Talk to me what's up. What's going on with you? You know I can always tell when somethings wrong y/n/n, you're my best friend.
I wasn't expecting that response. I was honestly expecting him to push me some more. I always gave in. After all he's right. He's my best friend. I can't hardly hide anything from him. Except for the biggest secret known to man. I felt my phone buzz again in my hand while my thoughts raced.
from: Matt Stromboli 9:36pm
Was it the shirt thing? That was a dick move, I'm sorry.
I looked up sighing. It was the shirt thing and ever other thing you've ever done ever to remind me that i'm not yours. That i'm just a friend. That i'm just there to be there. Friends don't wear their friend's shirt home. Boyfriends let their girlfriends wear their shirt home. My phone buzzed again
from: Matt Stromboli 9:38pm
y/n/n im sorrryyyyyyy. Chris was pissing me off and I took it off on the shirt. :(
I sighed before responding.
to: Matt Stromboli 9:39pm
It wasn't the shirt Matthew you're fine.
Not a second passed before he replied.
from: Matt Stromboli 9:39pm
Matthew? Oh god I really am in trouble.
I couldn't help but smile down at my phone. He had that effect on me.
to: Matt Stromboli 9:40pm
When are you ever out of trouble?
from: Matt Stromboli 9:40pm
True. But I only prefer to be in trouble with you when It has a happy ending. wink wink.
I rolled my eyes and swallowed the lump in my throat.
to: Matt Stromboli 9:41pm
from: Matt Stromboli 9:41pm
Nooo I'm sorry. I'll stop flirting with you. Serious Matthew entering the chat.
Good evening y/n, how was your day?
to: Matt Stromboli 9:42pm
It was good. Now goodnight Matthew.
from: Matt Stromboli 9:43pm
Why was it good y/n? My favorite part personally, was when I was 8 inches deep inside of you ;)
to: Matt Stromboli 9:45pm
Where did friendly Matthew go?
I deleted my message before turning over and deciding to just not respond. I didn't want to entertain it anymore. I hugged my pillow and thought over everything today. There had to be change. I felt my heart clench, what If that meant losing Matt? Was I even ready for the reality? It made me sick to think about. A few more minutes past as I started to drift off to sleep, I felt my buzz start to buzz.
I groaned rolling over and picking up my phone, squinting due to the brightness.
Matt Stromboli incoming call 10:12 pm
I closed my eyes sighing. He wouldn't stop until I answered so I swiped it to answer. "Hello?" I asked grogily. "Okay what's up?" Matt asked sternly through the phone. I sat up clicking on the light beside my bed. "What?" I asked.
"Y/n. Why are you acting so weird?" He asked, making me sigh. "Matt, I'm not" I sighed, I was. "Yes you are" He said back quickly. I sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm not meaning to" I said softly. Yes I was. I couldn't help it. I was hurting. So badly. I heard him shift over the phone and his voice went quieter as I heard the ruffling of pillows on the other line.
"You don't have to apologize y/n/n. I just want to know what's bothering you" He sighed. I rubbed my eyes. "It's nothing big" I lied. He hummed through the phone. "Well it's big enough that you don't want to reply to my dirty texts and I know how much you normally love that, so...." He sighed. I closed my eyes shaking my head.
"I'm just not in the mood for that" I said honestly. "Wait" He said suddenly. "Y/n" He sighed. "What?" I asked feeling my face go red. "Did you not finish today? I could have sworn you did. I know what your face looks like, but I guess- Oh my god I feel like such a dick-" He rushed through the phone.
"No no. Matt I finished-I finished" I said shaking my head. He paused. "Then what?" He asked. I rolled over. "I don't know Matt" I said not wanting to tell him or talk about this over the phone. "Do I need to come over?" He asked after a few seconds. "You shouldn't" I said quietly. He sighed
"Y/n talk to me, what are you thinking?" He asked. I bit my lip. "I'm just in my head I guess" I said. One step forward. "About us?" He asked suddenly. I went silent. "No I-I just. It's Lucy she's mad at me" I lied. Three steps back.
"Oh. Well, about what?" He asked through the phone. I hit my head with my hand. "Uh" I said looking around. "Just-uh" I said swallowing. "She was made I missed her date thing" I said honestly, that was true.
"Tell her I'm sorry that was kind of my fault" He chuckled over the phone. I rolled my eyes smiling. "I'm sure she'll love that apology" I smiled. He chuckled softly, then let out a breath.
"So, I can't come over?" He asked, hearing the smile in his voice. I bit my lip. "It's late Matt" I stated. "It's like 10" He sighed. I pursed my lips. "Not tonight" I said looking up at ceiling, silently cursing my internal battle. He groaned over the phone.
"But I can't stop thinking about you" He breathed. I looked down at my hands. "I can't stop thinking about you either" I whispered saying the most honest thing I've said all night. He sighed. I bit my lip.
"Do you ever think about what brought you to this point in your life?" I suddenly asked speaking through the phone. "Hm?" He asked. "Like what you did to bring you to where you are now" I explained. "All the time" He said softly. "Why do you ask?" He asked. I shurgged before reliezing he can't see me. I let out a breath, rolling over.
"I don't know. Just thinking" I said softly. "Well don't hurt yourself" He laughed. I licked my lips. "You can't worry about the past things y/n/n, you just got to look at your life now and what you want you future to be. Do you know what you want your future to be?" He asked caringly over the phone.
"Does anyone?" I asked. "Yeah, some people" He breathed. I rolled over on my back, staring at the ceiling. "Do you know some aspects of your future you want?" He asked quietly. I closed my eyes. Yes. You and me. Together. For real.
"Yeah" I uttered. "Then you're on the right track" He whispered. I sighed. We sat in silence for a second.
"I like your voice" he said quietly over the phone. I smiled, before letting it drop. "I've got to go to bed" I whispered. "So you've been telling me" He whispered back. I took in a breath.
"Will I see you tomorrow?" He asked. I hummed, in agreence. "Good" He whispered. "Goodnight y/n/n" He said softly. "Goodnight Matt" I whispered back before clicking the phone off. I rubbed my hand over my face. Drug. Drug. Drug.
I scrolled through my phone before shuffling my playlist to get my mind off things. I clicked off the lamp beside my bed as music played through my phone. I just stared at the ceiling, letting out long breaths. The cut that always bleed started playing through my speaker and I felt my heart clench.
"Cause you keep me on a rope and tied a noose around my throat"
I closed my eyes, scrunching my face. Picturing Matt's smile in front of me.
"Can't live a little longer sitting on your lap. Cause you know what you're doing when you're coming back"
I felt tears start to brim at my eyes.
"Oh, I can't be your lover on a leash. Every other week when you please"
I leaned my head back, hitting my headboard letting out a shaky breath.
"Oh I can't be the kiss that you don't need. The lie between your teeth, the cut that always bleeds"
Every beat in the song hitting my heart over and over in all of the wrong spots. The cut that always bleeds, over and over and over. A never ending cut that is so deep that cuts every single time a little deeper every time I see him, or look at him, or think about him.
"Kiss the bruises til they're gone. Bittersweet, 'cause I can't breathe inside your arms"
Tears started to spill over my eyes, dropping down my cheeks. A feeling i've grown a custom to lately. Like a routine. I let out a shaky breath. Whispering the lyrics to myself. I picked up my phone opening it as the song played. I scrolled through my photos landing on one of Matt, looking down at me with a smile on his face.
"But even though you're killing me. I need you like the air I breathe. I need, I need you more than me. I need you more than anything."
I closed my eyes turning off the picture and letting the darkness of the room come over me again, as I cried quietly to myself
"Cause I could be, your lover on a leash. Every other week when you please"
"Oh I could be anything you need as long as you don't leave. The cut that always-"
I threw my phone as the song ended as I broke down into sobs. I heard my door slightly crack open and I lifted my head to see Lucy in the doorway looking sadly at me. She walked over to me and climbed into my bed and wrapped her arms around and held me as I shook.
"It's okay. You're gonna be okay" She whispered as I cried into her. I shook my head over and over. "It's never gonna end" I said in-between cries. She nodded. "It will y/n. You will get through this. You're the strongest person I know" She finished and held me until I drifted off to sleep.
alright not anything tooo crazy yet. What did you guys think of the first part?
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