nova

welcome to the brain dump current read: The Secret History current fave song:

[bananakin-nova]

i’m always trying to be what I think people want me to be.

[bananakin-nova]

Bug Bites

The Bug Bites on my right arm are fading

Almost nothing more than an itchy memory

Barely noticable to me

So I find it somwhat... endearing

When I mention them in passing to my friend

Pointing out the one on my wrist

And you, sat next to me, gently run your hand over my upper arm

Stating that you noticed one there

I often forget that you *see* me

That after just a few hours together

You had memorised my Bug Bites

[bananakin-nova]

I fear that I only let you in so that you can break me. Because then I can truly feel something

[shisasan]

𝙵𝚎𝚋𝚛𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝟷𝟼, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟺 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚣 𝙺𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟺-𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟹

[engulfes]

Oh the power of freshly washed hair

[emotionalwords]

[bananakin-nova]

holocene

from or referring to the period of time beginning at the end of the Pleistocene (= around 11,000 years ago) and continuing to the present

if you ever feel overwhelmed, i think it’s cool to know that we are currently in the ‘holocene’ period that relates to all of recorded human history. but more significantly than that, is that it’s by far the shortest epoch in earth’s life.

this will either help you mentally, or send you spiraling into a philisophical crisis. either eay, you’re welcome :)

[bananakin-nova]

i planned on waking up early today and failed. but that’s okay. it’s sunday so who cares

[bananakin-nova]

since restarting my tumblr its been a struggle to stop myself from just word vomiting every single thought that I have

[allura-raine]

[bananakin-nova]

‘love you to the moon and to saturn’

-folklore, track seven

[bananakin-nova]

carpe diem

Latin. seize the day; enjoy the present, as opposed to placing all hope in the future.

I’m not one for new year’s resolutions. It’s always something like ‘drink more water.’ Which I should do to be honest.

I never stick to resolutions. I think the main issue with the whole ‘new year new me’ thing is that people want to change from day one. And that is just not how it works. Personally, I prefer the idea of ‘new year, better me.’ So here are somethings I’ve been gradually doing to take care of myself better.

Firstly is sleep scheduele. As a uni student it’s easy to stay up until the early hours and sleep in half the day. I am much more of a night owl, not a morning person at all. But, that being said, I definitly feel better about myself when I get up and seize the day.

Another is organisation. My room/living space tends to reflect my brain. It starts off with my brain in control but eventually the room takes over (this is when it’s at its messiest.) So regular tidying of my space allows me to have a clearly mind. -this includes the kitchen that my housemates don’t clean.

The last main practice for improving my life is mindfullness. I have spent a lot of time over the last couple of years being... gloomy? I think this a bit of a character trait so I still have those days. But I am activly trying to have a more positive outlook on life. I do this by, writing, exersizing outdoors, eating a bit healthier. Even listening to wellness podcasts.

You don’t have to can’t become the ‘perfect’ person. You also dont have to work on yourself. You might be right where you want to be. And that’s cool too. I’m still trying to get there

[bananakin-nova]

Lets see how long this lasts

Ok, lets try this again. I clearly have not been on tumblr in years because I wrote a whole piece and it got deleted before I could post it. I guess life imitates art:

'In a way, i'm almost glad the flood interupted us because I don't like that toast I was giving.' -Mr Fox, Fantastic Mr Fox (2009)

This isn't the first time I have reset my tumblr account to start a new blog and I'm sure it wont be the last. The odds of anyone finding my corner of the internet are low but that's okay I can still talk, still say what I need to say even if its to an empty room.

What is the point of this blog? The short answer. To write. I am by no means a talented writer, but I can write. I am a history student. And something that I believe to be true of all historians is that we are cursed with the knowledge and need to write even though we are not so good at it. Oh no doubt there are some incredibly talented writers in my field. But I would say that they are a rare breed. The urge is to just 'brain dump.' Which I guess brings me back to the reason for the blog. I don't have to make my writing academic. It can just go straight from brain to screen.

The other reason I want to write is because I am famously terrible and articulating my thoughts and feelings. I have opinions but often am unsure how to put it into words that acutally get my point across. It can make history papers almost torturing to write.

Anyway, if you did manage to find me then. Hi? I hope I can be an interesting read. Or a funny one. Or sad? Who cares