No Expectations

We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out. - Churchill

[let-us-taco-bout-it]

📸: sydelleats

[just-shower-thoughts]

You never hear about the Bermuda triangle anymore.

[a-forever-fairytale]

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

headcanon: since meeting ant man, no one dares to fuck with spider man cause they think he can control spiders and fuck that tbh. he defeats villains by threatening to order spiders to infest their house,, his success rate is 100%, new york is crime-free in less than a month,

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

antman:

villain: what you gonna do huh? steal my picnic food? lmao lemme get the magnifying glass

spiderman:

villain:

villain: ill just turn myself in,

[akutamis]

Um actually,

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

it was bold of me to assume he wouldnt actually do this in canon,

[four-toed-creed]

[i-have-been-thunderstruck]

So sweet

[macarons-and-corpses]

I don’t know if you’ve actually seen this episode, but Pam invites the entire office to her art show that she’s been gearing up for for a really long time. Nobody shows up except for Oscar and his partner (and they critique her work, calling her “lacking in courage” among other things, not realizing she is standing right behind them) and then Michael. And Michael is the only one who tells her she is great just for putting herself out there, and the only one who places value on what she’s done, and he points out all the little details she got right and notices absolutely every bit of hard work she put into it. And then treats Pam like the artist she is by not just paying her for her art, but displaying it where literally everyone can see it.

It’s one of my favorite episodes.

[headstrongandheartless]

So, my dad is the boss at his job, and when I was growing up watching the office, I always imagine my goofy ass dad acting like Michael Scott at work (not the case but w/e). My dad was and has always been pretty emotionally distant, and so this episode hit home so hard. Because Pam’s reaction to finally being validated and having someone tell her they’re proud of her (someone who rarely shows these tender moments with such poignancy no less) was so relatable and heart-warming.

[darning-socks]

you learn to take the little victories

[ilarual-archive]

I always got very excited when it would spell out ACDC

[badassthugmc]

OMG SAME FOR BOTH

[liquid-pie]

I always got very afraid when it was the same letter 4 times in a row

[neuralactivity]

when I was 4 or 5, my mom was a prof at a college and she used to hand me the scantron sheet before she wrote the exam and let me colour whatever lettered bubble i wanted for each answer. if i coloured two by accident, she made an ‘all of the above’ option. one time she gave me it and i coloured the ‘a’ bubble for each of the 130 questions except for the second last one and she just went with it later on, she told me that it was the most entertaining exam she had ever watched her students take

[cynntastic]

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

so who really comes out on top

[dar-draws]

you look fine to me

[thewhitehairedwitchgirl]

Me: I want to write a thing

Friends: So write it

Me:

[erebussociety]

[ksniasolo]

[alone-intheshadows-deactivated2]

I HAVE WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS GIFSET

#that meat lady was the real national treasure

[just-shower-thoughts]

When you’re a kid, one teacher walking into another teacher’s classroom is the biggest crossover event reality has to offer

[cyborgsmanifesto]

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

[4velitta4]

I feel like this could be useful in my future

[astrologypixies-deactivated2016]

REBLOG THIS. I CANNOT STRESS HOW IMPORTANT THIS GUIDES ARE, BOOST THIS SHIT

[getupoffyourcassbutt]

If I don’t reblog this one of these things is definitely going to happen to me

[erebussociety]

[little-friendly-snails-deactiva]

My shrimp is so weird like when I touch it, it changes colors and kinda spasms sometimes idk

like it was kinda pinkish and then it turned red and now its yellow

and it has a stripe that wasn’t there before

its weird

[little-friendly-snails-deactiva]

clarification

MY PET SHRIMP

[little-friendly-snails-deactiva]

further clarafication

SHRIMP

IN

A

FISH TANK

[little-friendly-snails-deactiva]

[calleo]

This is worth the read.

[hogwartshousefriends]

My brother: *to his online friends* I gotta go. My pizza is here.

One of his online friends: Where’s my pizza?

Everyone: *laughs*

My brother: *logs out of chat*

Me: You know. You could order them pizza.

My brother: What?

Me: You know his adress.

My brother: We live in Canada. They are in the States.

Me: So. You can order it online and pay with a credit card.

-20 minutes later-

Online friend: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET ME A PIZZA FROM CANADA?

[hogwartshousefriends]

I like how thus far there seems to be two responses to this post.

1. This is soooo sweet and pure.

2. Tagging a friend with something to the the effect of “Where’s my pizza?”

[majesticduxk-deactivated2018121]

So last week I tried moaning every time I ate something delicious.

It was vaguely uncomfortable and unnatural

[soupernabturel]

I actually love the idea of doing this trying out fanfic/literary cliche’s out in real life, kinda wanna make up a list and undertake it as a challenge.

[whitmerule]

don’t forget to make your butthole flutter today

[hazeldomain]

Guess someone’s eye color from 20 feet away.

[prairiedust]

Be careful with these. I started reading fanfiction three years ago and now I have to toe my shoes off to get my feet out.

[hazeldomain]

But do you pad across rooms? 

[prairiedust]

Yes but I often give away my position when I huff.

[mittensmorgul]

FYI, I’m smirking at all y’all.

[k-vichan]

I’m resisting the urge to card my fingers through everybody’s hair.

[dorkaelskunkworks]

This is as good a time as any to admit that right now I smell like coffee, sandalwood soap, and something uniquely myself.

[authorjcalamy]

I hate this post so much I clenched my fists and looked away, muscles bunching in my jaw. 

[bettsfic]

i’m so glad to see i’m not alone, i let out a breath i didn’t know i was holding

[shiphitsthefan]

one two three four, i declare a tongue war with anyone who stares longingly into my orbs