“bits to use in everyday conversations”

shark vs the universe
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JVL
Today's Document

izzy's playlists!
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oozey mess
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@theartofmadeline
will byers stan first human second

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tannertan36

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JBB: An Artblog!

Discoholic 🪩
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@bound-nebula
“bits to use in everyday conversations”
They should make hollow, fragile sugar candies exactly the size and shape of a lightbulb to safely satisfy the body’s natural need to eat lightbulbs whole
@wheezecheese
This has gone beyond "I cannot explain this to my spouse" and is firmly in "Archaeologists of the future will decide this is the point at which a group of people diverged from mainstream humanity and developed a new, indecipherable form of communication."
Julius Ceasar has been dead for 2064 slutty, slutty years
Julius Caesar has been dead for 2065 slutty, slutty years
Julius Caesar has been dead for 2066 slutty, slutty years
Julius Caesar has been dead for 2067 slutty, slutty years
Julius Caesar has been dead for 2068 slutty, slutty years
Julius Caesar has been dead for 2069 (nice) slutty, slutty years
who else has fantasized about the Nutrient Brick
Arugula is some crap they found on the ground for real
thats because its plance. there are others as well
It’s cool how we found the secret elixir that cures all human disease and it’s in this guy’s bitey little mouth
What this guy’s bitey little mouth has been recently up to:
This is why scientists study everything.
Put this picture in your pocket, next time you get into an argument with someone about 'useless' scientific studies, ask them "Do you think that we should give funding to study the mating habits of endangered iguanas in the Sonoran desert, or should we be funding cures for alzheimer's and diabetes?" and then when they say "Of course we should be using that money to fund cures!" you can whip out this picture and say "trick question, it's the same thing"
hey so I’m talking with my wife and I just realized she’s never felt an earthquake so uh
have you ever felt an earthquake
yes
no
and pls reblog i need to know!!!!!!!
having poor circulation is great because people will touch your hand and go 'oh! you're so cold!' and for a moment you get to experience what it's like to be a vampire in a romance novel
Me: "why don't I have the energy to write? Maybe I'm just a failure..."
The four hours of sleep and two packs of crackers that consist of all I've eaten of today:
FUCK THAT'S THE WRONG IMAGE
This post is making a lot more sense
it was meant to be this
You stop that
FLY MY MOSQUITOES 🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟
HELL YES UNTREATED STANDING WATER
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🟦🟦🟦🌾🟦🟦🟦🌱🌾🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🌾🟦🟦🪷🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🌱🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦
GROW MY CHILDREN
🟦🟦🥚🪱🟦🟦🌾🟦🟦🟦🟦🪱🟦🥚🟦🌾🟦🪱🟦🟦🟦🪱🟦🪱🟦🥚🟦🟦🪱🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🥚🟦🪱🟦🟦🟦🥚🪱🟦🟦🥚🟦🪱🟦
YES
YES
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My children have invented a new mosquito-borne illness of Crash Your App
Reblog to give your mutual's browser Digital Dengue Fever
You likely have the right to access records that explain why your insurer denied your claim or prior authorization request. Use ProPublica’s
Hey y'all. Here's something for you.
Reblog and Signal Boost for US followers.
going to the salon for a brazilian wane
I said a “wane.” no, not a Wayne, a wane. you know, like the moon? the opposite of a—sorry, the other line’s ringing, hold on. …another—? …the second tower…?!
damn…that was wild…anyway, as I was saying, my bush is so stupidly lush now that all the 18-24 year olds are lining up to die for it
Yes hello, please help a poor writer assess whether a reference is comprehensible outside her locale:
Do you know what a Dutch Baby is?
Yes, and I've had them/seen them in person
Yes, but I've never encountered one/we don't call them that where I live
Absolutely no idea what that is
I know it's a food, but not what kind
I know it's a breakfast food, but not exactly what
I've heard the term but thought it was something other than a food
That term means something other than a puffy, oven-baked pancake where I live
I put an absolutely incredible joke in my screenplay that relies on the term "dutch baby," and only then found out that it originated in Seattle (where I live). Please share this around so I can get an idea of whether it's known enough outside the PNW that the joke will be comprehensible! Bonus points if you include your results and approximate location in the tags <3
locusimperium:
A few years ago, when I was living in the housing co-op and looking for a quick cookie recipe, I came across a blog post for something called “Norwegian Christmas butter squares.” I’d never found anything like it before: it created rich, buttery and chewy cookies, like a vastly superior version of the holiday sugar cookies I’d eaten growing up. About a year ago I went looking for the recipe again, and failed to find it. The blog had been taken down, and it sent me into momentary panic.
Luckily, I remembered enough to find it on the Wayback Machine, and quickly copied it into a file that I’ve saved ever since. I probably make these cookies about once a month, and they last about five days around my voracious husband - they’re fantastic with a cup of bitter coffee or tea. I’m skeptical that there is something distinctively Norwegian about these cookies, but they do seem like the perfect thing to eat on a cold day.
Norwegian Christmas Butter Squares
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 egg 1 cup sugar 2 cups flour 1 tsp vanilla ½ tsp salt Turbinado/ Raw Sugar for dusting
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Chill a 9x13″ baking pan in the freezer. Do not grease the pan.
Using a mixer, blend the butter, egg, sugar, and salt together until it is creamy. Add the flour and vanilla and mix using your hands until the mixture holds together in large clumps. If it seems overly soft, add a little extra flour.
Using your hands, press the dough out onto the chilled and ungreased baking sheet until it is even and ¼ inch thick. Dust the top of the cookies evenly with raw sugar.
Bake at 400 degrees until the edges turn a golden brown, about 12-15 minutes. Remove from the oven. Let cool for about five minutes before cutting the cooked dough into squares. Remove the squares from the warm pan using a spatula.
So I tried this recipe.
And it is GREAT.
It basically makes the platonic ideal of commercial sugar cookies, only in bar form. When I give them to people (which I do a lot, because this is one of those simple recipes where the results seem very impressive), I just tell them they’re sugar cookie bars.
Life hack: add white chocolate chips and sea salt
I made these today for the equinox with sea salt caramel chips and they are simply amazing. Let’s see how long they last with six people in the house!
Noting for later (as we need more butter for this, and probably won’t do a grocery shopping till the weekend).
The OP version of this has become my go-to cookie for basically all things and I have a whole cohort of friends and colleagues who would murder each other to get them. Haven’t tried any add ons yet, since the base recipe is SO GOOD.
I’ve reblogged this before and I’m reblogging it again because I’m about to make it again tomorrow and I wanted to add my own tale of just how amazingly delicious it. it was SO incredibly simple to bake and with an extra dusting of brown sugar on top and served warm and soft they gift you with the taste of the nectar of the gods when paired with a small glass of milk. this image is from when I first made them a couple years ago:
GO. MAKE THESE !!!!
actually dvd stands for dick van dyke
the dick van dyke fandom is dying.
reblog ifyou’re a TRUE dyke lover
reblog if you’re a true dickhead
van