Sassy leo

Our hearts are monsters that's why our ribs are cages Follow me for more quotes and write-ups on Instagram - http://instagram.com/Calliope_Writes68

[calliope-writes68]

My first love to first breakup

Yesterday at 11:51pm, I had my first breakup. Actually the story of breaking up started year back but I told him that I'll be supporting him rather than abandoning. Little did I know that it would bring a year of havoc. I had cried almost once every week but thought that maybe the odds aren't with us. There were days when I felt like the luckiest girl while others where I questioned my self respect. I rarely yelled at him for his misbehavior towards me again thinking that if I raised my voice he'll go away from me and my first love story will be a disappointment. Funny part is that he thinks he was the perfect being in a relationship and I was the one at fault. I guess it's because I never complained about his misconduct. Whenever he asked am I bad ? I replied that no it's just the time you are such a lovely person. I should have told the truth and raised my voice so that it would have never come to a situation like this.

He was my first for everything- first love ,first heartbreak. I didn't want it to end up at a sad note, I tried my best to make it work. With great confidence I can say that I had given my 100% in this relationship but with time it grew more and more toxic for me. I lost my own identity. I was a really fun going person but now turned into a really monotonous being who had forgotten how to have fun.

This story began when I was 21 and after 1.5yrs it turned into a full stop. I felt humiliated a few days back but even then I went back to him after a whole lot of crying. His tone was so insulting which reminded me that my father even never talked to me such a time ever. So who's he?

My sister once told me that once someone leaves your life, never let them enter again. I guess u should have listened to her. My finals are approaching and here I am writing about my breakup to get the weight off my chest.

Actually to be honest this time I cried a bit but didn't beg him to stay. I switched off the lights and went to sleep and this is was the best sleep I had in 1.5years. I woke up with a smile and a sense of accomplishment that yes this time I didn't beg him to stay. Yes! I finally moved away and finally I have realised my worth.

It was a beautiful morning for me. A happy one. I'm relieved that I won't be crying anymore. I am happy that I'm independent.

I am happy to find myself again.

[quotemadness]

“She was made to appear crazy by the man who drove her there.”

— r.h. Sin

[calliope-writes68]

Damn!!!

[calliope-writes68]

Girls will love you with every ounce of emotions present in her, no matter how hard things get or keep failing but when that love blows away, she is no more the same person you know earlier. Once she moves on there's no coming back. It's all over from her end.

[yoursoethereal-deactivated20230]

— Sylvia Plath, from The Bell Jar

[calliope-writes68]

Some excerpts really touch your soul unconsciously and you gaze it constantly pondering if you were like this from the beginning or the people around played a role in this.

[surqrised]

“Whatever you may be missing right now - a person, a place, a feeling, maybe you are injured and missing running - whatever it is, have peace and take heart - remember that any goodbye makes room for a hello.”

— Kristin Armstrong

[lady-shadow-and-darkness-deacti]

Chuuya : Dazai, do you trust me?

Dazai : With my life.

Chuuya : Thanks.

Chuuya : *remembers Dazai is suicidal*

Chuuya : YOU-

[calliope-writes68]

Day 2 of breakup diary

Today was an amalgamation of sorrow, disappointment and relief.

Sorrow because today was the actual first day I had to hold myself together and resume my life. I thought it would be easy considering I felt happy initially but love is a dangerous thing. We can't unlove someone, we just had to archive them in one corner of our heart. But this itself is not an easy task, afterall how could you suddenly forget all the dreams you weaved together. How could you forget those promises in an instant? How could you archive the first love so easily? I was studying from his book and just holding something that once belonged to him gave me a sense of nostalgia. I looked at our photos once and that last photo of us together made me think who would have imagined our lovestory would end this way.

Disappointment was the second emotion I felt today. I expected that maybe he'll call once to check if I'm doing alright. Or maybe call one of my friends to ask is she ok. But none happened and it pained because it was the last string of hope I held. Tears suddenly rolled down my eyes and I just held my breath, told myself this shall pass too. Today's weather was a beauty, the cold breeze and the trees waving. Such a Romantic weather and it reminded me of the times I used to text him, telling about the weather and my wish to meet him up. All this felt like some old folklore.He used to ring me up everyday but nothing's gonna happen today. The night will be longer and more eerie because he was like an essential component of my life.

A sense of relief was finally accomplished when I didn't cry on listening to songs we dedicated to each other. The time when I wholly concentrated on my study. A thought which struck my mind that if he has the strength to move on so briskly after all the moments we shared, I should try too. Give myself time to heal.

Do you think I was too lovestruck like he quoted or is it just normal?

[calliope-writes68]

She was once the reason of his smile,

Now he feels strangled with unessential vows,

Today words appear like hollow lies,

Broken heart

Broken bonds

Hollow ties

Shall I believe his cacophony of lies?

Or open my eyes and ears,

To see or hear something I dreaded this whole time.

His words aren't consoling me,

His sorry is just not healing me,

Everything is playing on loop,

Rounds of hell,

I'm bruised, my emotions crushed,

I rejuvenate and the cycle repeats itself from the crux,

I used to forgive and forget,

But the wounds are too deep,

With fear, anxiety and insecurities embossed.

I wish to cry but my tears have dried,

I wish to yell but no words come out,

I wish to express but my emotions are suppressed,

Harder and harder I tried to smile,

My heart sinking,

My brain has stopped thinking,

Flustered emotions but words have abandoned,

I fail to express and in the end all I could feel is suppressed.

©Calliope_Writes68

What is your opinion about it?

[quotemadness]

“Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen, out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready.”

— Nayyirah Waheed

[calliope-writes68]

THE SULIT CHAOS She was the daughter of the sky,Who only learned to soar high.Her wings sharper than knife which can slash the clouds into two.

[calliope-writes68]

BROKEN BUT BEAUTIFUL

@calliopewrites68 His love was a mirage, Crumpled her heart, He devoured her like termites, Broken into a million pieces, Yet yelled over him,” From now on, you will not do anything as it pleases.” He thought that she will stumble, But she was an injured lioness determined to make him tremble. Shred by shred she ripped him apart, Putting an end to his rampart. She was broken by his violence, But beautiful…

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[calliope-writes68]

DUSK : FIRST KISS TO NIGHT

When the world seems weary, I wish to enter a Dreamland of my imagination with the desire of sitting peacefully and reading a novel.

Meadows stretched across the vast lands with horses, sheeps and cows grazing harmoniously. Butterflies hovering around the flowers in quest of the scrumptious nectar and birds playing with hatchlings in their own little paradise. It felt as if the eyes are trying to capture this moment for a lifetime.

Yet all the grandeur of this scenic view was stolen by the dusk, when the sun was giving his first kiss to the night. Their kiss exploded into an eloquent hue which etched the vast skies. A glimpse which can make the exhausted eyes sparkle with joy and happiness. The one where the sun bows slowly in honour of the night who's being escorted by the moon. The stars become the audience of this grand entrance and twinkle in euphoria. With a goodbye kiss they part,in hope to meet again after 24hours.

In this enchanted sight I willl read a romantic novel and contently travel from one wonderland to another.

At such times, it makes me believe that there's a happy ending concoted for me too just like these novels or the dusk.

© Calliope_Writes68

[calliope-writes68]

FREE LIKE A BIRD

I want to smile harder,

Laugh a little louder,

Put my worries into the shredder,

And prance like a tiger.

I want to be free,

Lock down all the responsibilities in a safe and throw away the key,

For once I just want to be me,

Where my responsibilities aren't buzzing like a bee.

I can say it a thousand times like a streak,

For once I just want to be me.

[calliope-writes68]

You are like an aphrodisiac for me,

My occult desires start gleaming through my eyes when they have your glimpse.

Your presence is enthralling, that touch of yours bewitching.

My heart pounds faster like never before, the adrenaline rush taking over my brain ; makes me lose senses.

This body yearning for a multitude of things like the touch of your luscious lips , your physique over which I want to melt like ice and the deep voice whispering into my ears.

In dark nights, I have vivid dreams: you fulfilling those mystic desires in a playful manner . Yet I wait patiently for the right moment to arise where you withold me into your arms and conclude this erotic story of mine.

[calliope-writes68]

"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart." - William Wordsworth

[calliope-writes68]

Withering Love

The city is under the blanket of fog just like her future with him - full of uncertainty. She tried to revive the bereft relationship for the last time but it all went in vain. Zero reciprocation made her adamant belief of not giving up on this relationship began to tumble. Maybe it was her mistake after all they say an overthinker loves too much. She had lost every ounce of hope and sunken herself into the abyss of melancholy. Even then she awaits for that one Ray of hope to pierce this abyss and bring her back to days of mellow, still wishing that he will come back.

[calliope-writes68]

Haiku from this app.

Just felt this deeply.