if you see me deleting posts don’t worry!!!! Nothing bad is happening I’m just trying to clean my blog up because I gotta start actually worrying about my art portfolio soon
I wrote this yesterday and will try to post it when I wake up. Anyway um brief institutionalization memories
CONTENT!!!! WARNING!!!!! There’s like a lot a lot of violence and varied degrees of sexual abuse and also a few rape mentions. I won’t be very graphic and nothing about rape will be like described in detail. Be nice to me I’m being brave
I think the first thing they did after my parents told them to take me in once i was secluded was be like.... so get naked..... I can't even. talk about this one. No assault had happened but it was in a secluded room with way more staff than was necessary. also i know damn well there were cameras in dat room 😑
when i met the other girls (and 2 other trans dudes) they were really like mean to me for some reason lol. i don't hold it against them. also everyone thought i was a child (well. more of a child than i actually was). eventually they came around to respect me a little more
doors were required to stay open in our bedrooms. only staff were allowed to lock them and could do it as they pleased. cameras were in our rooms and also the showers. of which there were no like walls or even doors between the showers and the bedrooms. I also wasn't given a blanket or even like. a singular pillow. not even bedsheets lmfao!!! the mattresses were legit like 1.5 inches thick and made of like styrofoam or some shit
anyway as i was getting screamed at and threatened to be drugged for crying.... i feel like i saw someone get close and then i just. suddenly blacked out. idk where i woke up. probably my room. hard for me to remember details about that stuff obviously lol
This one and the next one might be some of the bad ones I think. >Roommate is very flirty and asks me to draw her porn n stuff (which i do sigh) >she gets very close at some points >jokes about us lezzing out >asks me if she can change into her underwear which we are not allowed to do >i wake up in the middle of the night to a commotion with her and like the only good staff member who quit literally right after this >i go back to sleep and wake up in the morning feeling really weird >staff asks to talk to me >says i'm being moved to a room with no roommate cus she raped me. whatever
I did eventually get another roommate after a day or two. HOWEVER. i woke up the next morning with the same really weird and bad feeling. my thighs really really hurt. later that day i end up taking a shower and notice there are like really big gashes and also a little bit of dried blood in my inner and outer upper thigh. There were also internal issues I started having which I won’t talk about but like whatever. Make staff member who had previously been really friendly towards me suddenly got hostile even though like I didn’t tell anyone about anything dat happened
male staff member who is the one that i know was arrested for rape that did work there while i was there did show us porn at some point and also put on a movie with like a graphic rape scene so. it MIGHT have been that guy 🤔 but it could've been anyone🤔🤔🤔🤔
oh yeah they also just wouldn't feed me sometimes lol. after begging i was awarded with like. 7 cheese sticks. so like okay sure
there was a staff member that was kinda goated cus she would freeze the orange juice that i got at breakfast for me and then i'd eat it at lunch and it was hella good
I don't remember anything else about this event other than i was bleeding from somewhere on my face or head kinda bad and an aggravated staff member was dragging me across the floor
also they told me they wouldn't let me out until i agreed to letting them drug me and also take daily medications that made me very sleepy and kind of. brainless. I couldn't really think despite my usual intense inner monologue. It felt like being a zombie
dw wikians spend years bullying children and constantly putting down their friends and then be like luci is a problematic moral puritan who's stalking everyone's pasts when i call out 2 people who were harmful to people who were either children and/or significantly younger than them (including me) and saying that i don't like the people who were actively trying to make me miserable in anyway possible for years because i got more internet hearts than they did 😑
if you are blocked from my main right now I promise there’s a 99% chance it is not personal esp if you’re one of my friends. I’m sorry, I’ve been trying to not engage with anything related to foxok but I’m crazy freaked out right now. I can’t handle being around or talking to anyone I feel like is siding with him right now.
I’m not mad at anyone because I don’t think most of you understand fully the reality of the situation and what has been said to me, but I feel like my paranoia and #my npd and #my bpd are getting the to best of me right now. The last thing I want to do is take it out on anyone I care about because I feel hurt by them.
I’m so sorry, just if you are blocked please don’t try to talk to me or go to Aether. I promise we will talk about the situation at some point, but right now I can’t handle that
if anyone's wondering why there hasn't been new art in awhile.... there has! I just cant post most of it yet (coolwikian fans be PREPARED) but I've gotten pretty good with acrylics on canvas
people who's favorite soda is like pepsi or sprite or fanta or coke or anything else are normal but anyone who's favorite soda is Dr pepper is CRAZY about Dr pepper
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