My boyfriend and I have two cats we raised from kittens until now, they are 4 years old female 'S' and male 'O'. From the same litter too. My boyfriends brother moved in with us to get himself back on his feet and he brought his own 6 yr old female cat 'M'. M has been in her own room away from both S and O with the door shut for about a month. I successfully got O to eat on the other side of the door at the same time as M for a week, but not S. We put up a large piece of plexiglass so they could see eachother while they eat, and O was fine until he wasn't. We put all of their food upstairs so they would have to be around M, but they won't go upstairs. I picked up S and brought her upstairs to show her where the food is, and she saw M and got on edge. O came up the stairs and attacked S, and now O is being a bully to S for some reason. He now will lock eyes with S and go after her (he is bigger than her and they both have their claws). I plugged in a feliway upstairs to hopefully mitigate things, but what do I do? I want all three cats to get along ultimately, but why is the introduction of the third cat causing my original two to become enemies?
Obligatory "I'm not a vet, just a person on the internet with cats who really loves cats" but here's my thoughts on this situation!
O attacking S when you placed her upstairs in front of the plexiglass/room with M:
This might very well be a case of redirected aggression/displaced aggression, it's quite a common thing in cats where if a cat can't interact with a trigger that is causing him stress, he'll redirect that aggression to the nearest person/animal/thing. In this case it seems like M being a new addition to the house is still stressful to O but because he can't interact with her due to the plexiglass (a great thing you've implemented, by the way!), he's redirecting that aggression towards S instead.
On the attacks:
The first thing to do here is assess whether O being a bully to S is actually aggressive behaviour or more on the play side, cause a lot of times cats playing with each other can definitely look aggressive if you're not used to it.
So look out for the following in either O and S when the "bullying" is happening (remembering that the interaction can be differently interpreted by either cat, so it could be a situation in which one cat thinks they're playing while the other is actually being aggressive):
Are they making any noise? Cat play is usually very silent, if either cat is meowing, hissing, or screeching, that's usually a good indication that it's not play but aggression.
Are the tails puffed? Sometimes tails get puffed after a long play session, but if an attack starts and either of cats presents a puffed tail immediately, that's usually a sign the cat is scared and therefore it isn't regular playtime.
Are the cats taking turns? Is O always the chaser/aggressor, or does S also run after him, pester him to chase her and run away? Cats playing will very often take turns attacking each other in a "I chase you, now you chase me, I annoy you into chasing me, now you annoy me into attacking you". If O is always attacking and S always running away, it's probably aggression.
Assuming the answer to all these questions is that these interactions are not regular playtime between the two cats, and assuming that it only happens when M is also present (behing the plexiglass), here's my two suggestions for what to do:
Play Time: redirect the aggression into play time. Bring both cats upstairs and play with them with toys until they are too tired to play. You will however need someone in the room with M playing with her too. The goal is to get all the cats to associate being all together with good things (aka play time with humans) and to get them so absorbed in the play that they forget that there is an "intruder". Eventually you can open the door and play together with all three cats once they all are more at ease around her, but I recommend waiting for this step until they can all eat in sight of each other and the aggression from O stops.
Scent Swapping: the plexiglass is genuinely a great step, but it might be preventing the cats from smelling one another. Get them more used to each other's scents by swapping toys (bring O and S's toys into M's room and vice versa), or by swapping things that the cats spend a lot of time with, for example a blanket etc., and then swap back. In a pinch you can rub a towel on O and S, and one on M and then swap those. Eventually, swap places: being careful not to let them interact, being O and S into M's closed room and bring M to a room of the house that the two kitties usually spend a lot of time in, letting the sets of cats explore the place and sniff all the smells.
Also to note: if O's aggression on S continues, do these above steps individually for each cat instead of by grouping O and S together. For example, you can bring O upstairs and keep S downstairs, play with O while someone plays with M behind the door. After that session is over, repeat the step but with only S upstairs and O downstairs. Same thing for scent swapping. At the end of the day, even though O and S are siblings and good friends, they might take different lengths of time to acclimatise to the idea of a new cat.
I think that's all that I can think of! I really hope this was useful anon, and best of luck with integrating M into your kitty household!
Hi, I have a question and I’m not exactly sure who to ask haha.
So, my cat Bruno is an outside cat. He’s middle aged in cat years and has really bad only child syndrome.
And, we recently started taking care of this stray kitten that we found. And Bruno doesn’t like him… at all. And he’s also not eating now.
Idk if the two are correlated, but I’m really, REALLY concerned. Please give me some advice 🥲
Hey! First of all, keep in mind that I'm just a person on the Internet who has cats and really loves cats, but not a vet or an otherwise qualified cat expert (tm)
That saying, I have successfully introduced a kitten to a resident older cat so I can give some advice there.
(Long answer below the cut because I ended up writing a lot more than I thought I would!)
It can be quite a big adjustment for cats who have been living as the only cat/pet of the family to suddenly having to share their space with a new kitten, and especially for older cats there can be problems with the kitten being very energetic and wanting to play with an older cat who does not share the same enthusiasm for play time.
The thing that worked for us is following the strategy shared in these videos I'm going to share below.
In general, I recommend all of Jackson Galaxy's videos on how to introduce cats. The tl;dr is that you need to introduce them very slowly and by gradually using more and more senses (smell, sight, etc.). For example the first step is to isolate the kitten in only one room of your house (with its food and litter box etc.) so that the resident cat can smell the new kitten but isn't able to see it nor interact with it physically. I know you said Bruno is an outdoor cat but I'm assuming the new kitten is staying inside the house (if it isn't, please bring it inside, you'll need to sort out vaccines and neutering/spaying before you can safely consider whether you will allow him to be an outdoor cat too).
(A brief note on cats outside: I would urge you to carefully consider whether you want to leave your cats outside or not, but I don't know your situation, where you live, or any other reason that you might have for Bruno being an outdoor cat, so I'm not going to say anything more than this.)
Use food as a way to bring them closer. Feed the kitten inside the room it's living in for the time being and feed Bruno outside the room and gradually move their bowls closer day by day so that eventually they're eating on opposite sides of the closed door.
Honestly, follow the advice from the videos as much as possible, it would take me forever to re-write it in this answer but I can guarantee you that it will work. This does not mean that the two cats will ever be best friends at the end of the process (because it very much depends on the individual cats' personalities and their lived experiences), but what you're aiming for by doing all this is to make it so that at least they tolerate each other's presence and are not stressed out by the other cat.
It will take a long time, yes. It took us close to three months to introduce our new kitten to the resident cat. But it was worth it, because that way it will never became a stressful experience for either of them.
Last advice on Bruno not eating: I'm very sorry to hear this and I wish I could tell you whether it's due to the stress of the new cat being introduced, but the reality is that no one will be able to tell for sure whether it's related to that or something else. So before you do anything, please bring Bruno to a vet for a check up, they'll be able to examine him and rule out actual medical emergencies. The bottom line is that not eating is not a good sign. If he's still drinking despite not eating you can be less worried, but he needs to see a vet ASAP if the not eating has been going on for more than a couple of days and is not normal behaviour for him. Ultimately, you know your cat, so trust your instincts but my advice here is vet first.
I hope you find this useful, that it turns out Bruno is perfectly healthy, and that the introduction between him and the new kitten goes smoothly!
If you have any more questions my inbox will always stay open, and please give us an update if you'd like to in the future!
I went to the small pizzeria in a nearby village last month and asked for a calzone, and when she brought it to me the owner had a look on her face I can only describe as bitter.
Naturally my first assumption was that she was judging me for my food order (maybe calzones are too easy compared to other pizzas and she felt under-challenged as a pizza chef?), but then I looked at my calzone and the more I looked at it, the more I felt like it might have been a failed attempt at a cat calzone.
(I didn't ask for a cat calzone, just a calzone.)
If I had immediately identified it as a cat calzone I would have of course said something about it, such as "Aww that's so cute! You made it in the shape of a cat!! Thank you!" — but it was too late. I hesitated too long, and it was just failed enough that I wasn't sure it was meant to be a cat.
I think this poor woman knew her cat calzone was a failure and I wouldn't be able to recognise her effort for what it was, hence the bitterness in her eyes when she brought it to me.
I asked my friend if my pizza looked like a cat to her, and she said "Are you saying this because of the olives? I think they were just placed randomly."
no, I think they were meant to be eyes, and a cat nose. And those are the ears. Wait, I'll turn it in your direction so you can see
Friend: "It's just a pointy calzone... Maybe you should ask the chef if she meant to make it a cat?"
If I tried to make a cat calzone and the recipient of this gift went like 'hey, sorry, is this weird-looking thing meant to be cat?' I would sell my pizza restaurant and drown myself in the river.
After considering this, my friend said we could brainstorm a better phrasing—but then we ended up agreeing that since the chef didn't go 'haha sorry I tried to make a cat and failed!!' when she brought my pizza, the options were a) she didn't try to make a cat; b) she feels humiliated by her failure, and either way it's better to say nothing.
But I felt deeply curious about this unresolved mystery, so this week when I went back to the pizzeria I asked for a calzone again.
The options were now: a) the chef brings me a better, recognisable cat calzone and I immediately remark upon it and she's happy and we erase the failed cat calzone from the historical record and never mention it ever;
or b) the chef brings me a normal calzone, which suggests that the vague cat shape from last time was accidental and just another instance of chronic cat pareidolia.
(I refused to consider option c) The chef brings me another failed, hardly-recognisable cat. She just doesn't seem like the kind of person who would let that happen to her twice.)
Here's the photo of the failed cat calzone from last time, which, according to my friend, just looks like a pointy calzone with randomly-placed olives and not a deliberate attempt to make a cat:
And here's what the chef brought me this time:
THAT'S A CAT.
I knew it!!!!
And it looks so sad!! This cat calzone looks like it will burst into olive oil tears if you once again fail to identify it as the cat that it is
But I didn't; I was so ready this time. I went "A cat!!!!! It's so cute!" and the chef went like yes!!! I tried to make one last time but it looked weird :(
I said I was pretty sure it was a cat last time and apologised for not bringing it up and she said no, it's my responsibility to make it a decent cat. She also said she was glad I'd come back and ordered another calzone because she was really bothered ("vraiment embêtée") by that first failed attempt, and wondering if I'd noticed an attempt was made (and failed)
That's so relatable. It's like when you make a really embarrassing spelling mistake in a text and you're not sure if the other person has seen it and is judging you for it. Should you bring it up? Can it go unnoticed if you don't? It's the cat calzone equivalent of that. I'm so glad we were able to clear the air.
The humans will tell you there is no other cat "hiding inside the TV" and that what you see is simply "your reflection". The humans lie. Keep pouncing on him and you'll eventually defeat this wretched intruder.
The best time to explore the water room is between 3am and 5am. Coincidentally, the best time to get trapped in the water room due to slight miscalculations on how the door opens is also between 3am and 5am.
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