Conabuse is valid @conabusevictim - Tumblr Blog

how long will this go on

Ids: trisharmed, trismexican, transAAM, transabused, permainnocent, agefluid, chronoadult, trisgr0omed, trans afab man, tris trans woman, occasionally cisenby, autigender, cisautistic, cisschizophrenic, cisplural (endo basis fractured traumagenicly)

Edit 2: no horny on this blog only genuine identity stuff (not that horny is non genuine just that it isnt the same thing well i guess it can be for permahorny but for myself horny is different)

I was just a normal person i thought

I was just kinky

Doesn't matter I never fit

And then i stumbled deeper into things like Transharmed, conabuse, transgroomed, permagroomed.

and it was like I finally found people that understand and tell me its ok i feel that way

i was [] when I wanted to be abused sexually the first time. [] when i wanted to be abused in my first memory. Maybe [] when i got incest dreams all the time. It was isolating to want harm when i was younger and to have no one to genuinely explain it to me. i was non con abused for years and now I’ve finally found a chance at conabuse with someone.

but im here now, and i just want to understand

probably gonna get t’worded someday

no DNI, chrono adult if you need to know. Dont respect actual nonconsent.

just here for friends

05380b2a2e750f1ad776be5edc9b860d5cd5eeecf5a062bc1679a04d40c2b3a067

#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rq community #rq safe #transharmful please interact #transharmed #conabuse #cisharmed

Its funny how antis hate us so much but man there's so much joy being RQ.

#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rq safe #rq community

ieatgrassandthatsathreat

I think nobody in this community acknowledges some ARE groomed into this community, and thats because this community does not post about safety, risk awareness, what consent REALLY is (being fully aware of what is happening, being able to say no after saying yes, having safe words, ect), nor educational pieces on safety half enough - making it very easy for manipulators to thrive in this community

Which does not make this community nor its ideals inherently evil like antis say, nor does it inherently mean every aspect should be thrown out the window, thats the exact same as anti-kink anti-bdsm mentality honestly

It's simply that its very easy to lead an uneducated person, or even an educated person who feels trapped into this community, giving them a hundred labels that makes them feel tied to their abuser, and then labelling the relationship as con-abuse

cause nobody seriously dives into the risks of con-abuse, how such a relationship should have breaks and aftercare, outside of anti-rhetoric

I'm talking from experience, It happened to my system, and we are, on a labels and identities level, entangled with our abuser, and still spiral into "well originally i consented, even if I said no later and tried to set up boundaries, maybe he just thought it was all part of the game"

And I am not the only one!!! I've talked to other!!! People in the radqueer space who admit they wouldn't be here without their abusers!!! When people say they were groomed into it, it is NOT just anti rhetoric, theres more substance in these claims

We need awareness, pdfs filled with safety tips, when to take breaks, how to abuse someone safely, how you can hurt someone safely, I want a world where the first thing you see after looking up conabuse is "here's a article on how to do such safely" "heres a class on how to do such safely" "heres a book on the ethics and how to do such safely"

I want a world where we acknowledge the grooming, how identities can be manipulated, twisted, this isn't just a radqueer issue, my otherkin identities were twisted too, so intertwined with theirs it felt like even if I escaped they'd still be who I am.

I just want more safety highkey

conabusevictim

A lot of the issue is that good faith people are far more frequently chased out of (especially online, and ESPECIALLY tumblr) RQ spaces at a vastly higher rate than bad faith people. There are so many more RQ people, but society pushes RQ people to the absolute fringes.

well... uh... I found consang stuff. it.. was cathartic to see it.

Damn I got so scared I flew too close to the sun, for some reason my tumblr password stopped working :((

#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rq safe #rq community

omg radqueers are all to horny and must not be rq on principle…

meanwhile, tumblr: *terms any rq that gets too popular/on a whim* *nukes everything they ever wrote about rq theory* no idea why people in a group that gets termed constantly aren’t as organized for their rights and instead focusing on pleasure while it lasts.

#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rq safe #rq community

the thing about being transharmed for me is that I dont want to enjoy what happens to me. I want to regret what happens to me. And anyone with a working framework of bdsm would outright reject doing to me what I think is best for me to go through. Because i should get to decide that i want to experience emotional and physical abuse.

#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rq safe #transharmed #transharmful please interact #transharmful #transharmed transition

Are we not going to talk about how the first spongebob movie is about SpongeBob and Patrick having age dysphoria and learning to accept their transage instead of thinking they have to present as adults?

but no, radqueer is just some weird stuff normal people dont talk about.

#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rq safe #transage

Max Thunderman is transevil

#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rq community #rq safe #Transevil

Ooh boy sure like my normal (not rq) tumblr sometimes

*sees a post about disability* *it mentions faking disability for accomidations*

hey man, can we just like accommodate everyone? And have you considered that faking a disibility is fine? And that even if its not that allowing people to fake disability does more to reduce harm by not placing a gate arround who can identify as disabled?

oh wait i’ll get called a pedophile radqueer if I post that here, guess I’ll let this go

#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rq community #rq safe #transabled

Almost every time I try to get into relationships its the same shit where I am mentally still a child. And people don’t understand that and they hurt me. I was an AAM when I was younger and as an adult I’m still an AAM. The imbalance of the relationship is still there but no one treats it like it is unless they’re aware. And its a toss up if the people who are aware are predators or genuinely loving people. And its not easy for my developing brain to tell the difference between the two, because I don't have the same mental development as the people interested in me. Sure I can play out being an adult and do adult things, but dating or just playing online is terrifying because predators try to hurt me so easily. I’ve been so traumarized, and not even in the way my trisharmed ass wants to be. I want a smart loving adult that treats me like I am and respects it… who understands how I work and doesn’t do stupid shit…

#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rq community #rq safe #Trisharmed #transharmed #transage

Do not come at me with that shit that transableds hurt disabled people. I needed a wheelchair but I was mostly able bodied. The harm caused by gatekeeping mobility aids through social shame from people on the off chance one person doesn’t actually need them does far more harm than letting an ablebodied person identify as disabled. Im going to run over every antirq’s toes. TRANSABLED IS VALID DO WHAT YOU WANT FOREVER.

#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rq community #rq safe #transabled

I… I’m scared. I thought being permagroomed was just like… I don’t fucking know. I thought it wasn’t that big of a deal for me that it just explains somewhat yada yada. But the truth is more terrifying. I need people grooming me. I cannot function without at least someone to groom me. Its like a genuine need, its like a necessary form of affection for me. I like pushing myself. I like making them proud… i like changing so Im not afraid of what they want to do to me. I like normalizing it.

i didnt used to base my clothes on what someone wanted but now I cant not. Its what she wants its normal for me. She said no underwear i fought her and gave in. She wanted nipple piercings I fought her and gave in. She wanted me to wear dresses I fought her and gave in. And now I cannot remember what it was like before. Because I make her happy. She deserves to be happy doesn’t she?

#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rq community #rq safe #Rq support #cisharmed #Transharmed #permagr0omed #transage

is sweet dreams the conabuse transharmed/transharmful theme-song? If not it should be.

#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rq community #rq safe #transharmed #transharmful #conabuse

hot take but every single person has harmed someone else, and every single person has been harmed.

everyone is cisharmful and cisharmed

the issue is that society wants us to be puritanical and say “only bad people hurt people” and you cant say everyone is bad. In fact you’re not bad and therefore you don't hurt people.

#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rq community #rq safe #transharmed #cisharmed #cisharmful

YoU cAnT COnsEnT to AbUSe

Bro i dont wanna hear it you’re in a far less consensually abusive relationship with your job at walmart.

#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rq community #rq safe #transharmed #transharmful #conabuse #cisharmed

acceptotherpeople

Screenshot:

*laughs in queer and indigenous*

I don't remember the last time I talked to a straight, white, cisgender person with a transID. I'm not 100% sure this person exists.

conabusevictim

I consider myself trismexican because like i was robbed of a racial/cultural identity by white supremacist systems that made my father and his mother refuse to pass down culture. I don't want to let the first 18 years of my life define me as white and only white, i am transracial to reclaim what should have been mine.

Race *is* just as much of a social construct as gender; you should be allowed to choose culturally what fits you best. The difference is gender is far more internal than race. Race is more external cultural learning. That isn’t to say people cant appropriate culture in harmful ways. But like… come on…. Are we seriously defining humans based purely on where they were born and who they were raised by and the color of their skin?? Or are we willing to genuinely move past that? And its going to take centuries for trace to be accepted, assuming we build a better world to enable it.

This poster probably only thinks about the high profile transracial people who do it for attention, not the kind of people who move throughout europe and just kind of become local to their country. Or asians mistaken for Mexicans who just say meh I’m Mexican.

Race abolition should mean that no one is defined by anything but what they choose to be.

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Conabuse is valid