there's a difference

this is just a blog where all my mental illness shit. living with ADHD, recovering from trauma and suspected c-ptsd. probably borderline or ddnos or some other fucked shit.

[differentnotbroken]

I'm so fucking mad at you for traumatizing me. Fuck you. Fuck you. I fucking hate you.

[differentnotbroken]

Why does everyone always fucking leave me, why am I never fucking good enough

[differentnotbroken]

Hey to the assholes who had me just to abuse me like they were abused? Fuck you. Fuck you both.

[differentnotbroken]

Yes offense if you abuse your children for literally any reason

Fuck you

You should not have had them

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

7 Questions to Help you Find your Passion

1. What did you really love doing as a child? What did you seem to have a natural talent for?

2. What are you willing to do for free because it brings you satisfaction and fulfillment?

3. What sorts of things absorb your attention, and cause you to lose all sense of time?

4. Do you prefer to work with others, or by yourself?

5. Do you prefer order and structure, or do you prefer freedom, and the chance to be spontaneous?

6. What would you do, and where would you work, if someone told you they would finance your dream? Would you build a business? Travel? Spend it on yourself? Invest it in doing something meaningful for others?

7. If you were asked to picture the ideal life, what would it look like? What would be all the different aspects and components?

[britp0p-deactivated20210628]

how to feel alive

do something kind for someone else

write down everything you’ve ever wanted to say

sit outside in the sun and feel your feet on the ground

dye your hair

do something you’ve always wanted to do

if you have the means, travel

tell someone something you’ve always wanted to say 

look at the stars

open a window and feel the air on your face

stand outside in the rain

go out at night with friends

listen to music that you can get lost in

read a good book

take a long, hot shower

change up your wardrobe

know that it will get better

[user64290]

DBT Skills for Healthy Distractions

Distress Tolerance Skill ACCEPTS

some of these you probably already do. good. now all you have to do is conscientiously choose them when you feel bad. 

DISCLAIMER: this skill won’t magically cure your bad mood. think of ACCEPTS as a lifeboat of options for when you’re freaking the fuck out. 

A-activities

deliberately distract yourself with an activity.  redirect your thought back to this one action when you feel yourself seething or ruminating.

ex.-jog. 

-play with your cat. 

-do the dishes. 

-de-clutter your room

C-contribute

wtvr it is, focus your attention on something outside of yourself in a positive way. reason: it removes you from the self-destructive behavior you’re used to.

ex.-make a gift for someone

-write a nice letter to a friend

-run an errand with your family

-donate, reblog donation posts on tumblr

C-compare 

Compare yourself with people in similar situations or worse. 

-watch a vlog about someone dealing with a similar issue. 

-watch a bleak documentary about natural disasters

-read a book about someone getting out of a bad situation and compare it to your life. 

-if all else fails, opt for schadenfreude. cringe vids and reality tv work fine. 

E-opposite emotion

act on the exact opposite emotion. 

ex. you’re sad. watch some stand up or listen to bad parody songs. you’re too manic. listen to calming music and sing to it. 

you’re anxious. play a video game that you’re good at. *confidence boost*

P-pushing away

if you start to feel powerless, visualize yourself growing and that problem shrinking. turn the problem into an object in your head. imagine putting the problem in a box. place it inside a closet. you’ll get back to it later. 

T-thoughts

stimulate your mind. watch a documentary on something fascinating, but not emotionally charged. read. learn something new. exercise your ability to think logically/reasonably again.

S-sensations

allow yourself to experience something nice this time.

lie down on clean sheets, pet a dog, cuddle. take a bath. exfoliate, smell your fav. scent. [obvi do not include what could lead to relapse].

—

now make your own list of things you like to do that fall under each category. 

pro-tip: practice ACCEPTS when you aren’t feeling bad and it’ll be easier to do when you’re distressed/suffering.

[lovelyweirdandlonely-blog]

Need to commit this to memory

[differentnotbroken]

I'm not okay lmao

[differentnotbroken]

Abusive parents be like: this is my first born [redacted], aka my personal punching bag

[differentnotbroken]

Why do the people who hurt me and scarred me to the point where I'm crying over existing get to walk around freely

[differentnotbroken]

I have to go out and find boys if I wanna date one but I don't feel even remotely comfortable in my skin lmao

[differentnotbroken]

I cleaned my rooom finally eat your heart out mental illness

[differentnotbroken]

Parents: constantly put down children, mock them, put so much pressure on them, traumatize and abuse them

Parents when children don't turn out exactly how they wanted: wtf went wrong? 😭

[differentnotbroken]

I'm so tired of being around abusive people

[furiousgoldfish]

I’m so pissed we have to get away from home when there’s abusers in there, why aren’t they removed and home made safe for us? Are children’s lives so unimportat and inferior compared to abuser’s sense of entitlement and ownership? I say if you abuse kids you lose your house and anything else you own and you’re kicked out and told to get a new job.

[furiousgoldfish]

Abusive parents be like, to be a good child you need to be absolutely fucking perfect, you need to never say a word I don’t like, never talk back, or argue, or look like you’re struggling, or be sad, or have any symptoms or signs of what I do to you, you must never call out any injustice, never fight for yourself, never consider your life important, never ask for resources, never demand for justice for yourself, never fight back from physical violence, forgive me every single sin I do ever and never bring it up or mention it, keep my secrets, accept that I’m going to beat you to feel better abt myself, never have problems of your own, never do less than perfect in school, never embarrass me even a little, keep still when I want to insult/criticize/humiliate/scream at you, never look different from what I want you to look, never take one step out of this fantasy of a child I have thought up and if you don’t do these things you are an evil demon and a monster and I hate you but oops even if you do all of it I will still hate you bc my hatred has to go somewhere and also I deserve a punching bag so shut up, you don’t know anything abt raising children and you have no right to comment or criticize anything I do, one day you will be as bad as me and you will understand!!

To be a good parent tho? No requirements. Whatever I do is what good parent would do. If I don’t feed you, I’m still good! If I beat you, still good! Whatever I do is to be assumed to be not only your fault but for your own good! I can do whatever I want bc I’m a parent and I say I am good and who are you to contradict me! And don’t you dare to call me out on causing you pain, if you say anything that bothers me you are no longer a good child!!!!!

[openblogtomyabusivemother]

A parent who has never apologized is a parent with damaged children.

All parents make mistakes and if they don't apologize, it wounds their children. Good parents apologize when they mess up.

[realwindfalltreason-deactivated]

My parents did apologize, only to follow up with “It’s because we love you.” Aka, it was apparently “tough love”.

[openblogtomyabusivemother]

Nope. Not apologizing. Just more abuse.

[queer-birb-rights]

my dad would always just say “I'm sorry you perceive it that way” instead of him acknowledging that his actions have consequences

[openblogtomyabusivemother]

The variations of non-apology-apologies seem endless.

[halsaph]

I’m sorry your being so emotional is my mom’s favorite

[openblogtomyabusivemother]

Oh good grief. So manipulative.

[peticularpixi]

My mother refuses to apologize. She refuses to acknowledge that she's done anything wrong. The closest I've ever gotten is some well all children have to grow and learn from their parent mistakes. To which I replied with yah that's why I'm in therapy to learn and and fix the shit u did to me.

[juani-momo]

Mine fucking threw a tantrum and threatened to kick me out when I asked her for apologizing after she insulted me

[openblogtomyabusivemother]

A tantrum. Wow. Is she 5?

[paganinpurple]

When I apologise to my daughter for something, I always explain why I did it, ("mummy is very stressed out just now because of X and when you didn't go get ready I snapped at you") but I also clarify that it's not a good enough reason, ("despite you not getting ready I was far too harsh and should never have spoken to you like that.")

My nan used to scream and hit my mum, my mum used to scream and emotionally manipulate me.

I sometime slip up and realise I'm doing the same things without meaning to, so I immediately apologise. I absolutely do not want the circle of abuse to continue.

[adoratato]

My mother wouldn't apologise at all instead saying things like "oh no I'm such a horrible parent maybe I should just send you away with all the other fucked up children" really sarcastically. It really messed with me

Luckily I'm trying my hardest not to continue the abuse and I always apologise to my kiddos and if they don't like something we talk about it and I say what we can do alternatively or if that's not possible why it is important you do x

[bimyheel]

At one point mom said "I'm sorry for everything" like, uh, mom, you have to be a bit more specific than that

[illkeepyourbrittleheartwarm]

My dad is proud of how he treated me. Closest he got was to say "I'm sorry if you think I was being too harsh, I'm doing it for your own good, it hurts me more than it hurts you, one day you'll come back and kneel in front of me, thanking me for it" after beating me or spending an entire day yelling and berating me for crimes such as not tying my hair up or making his bath a little too hot 🙄

[watchoutforfrostbite]

My mom says "I'm sorry you were hurt", which isnt an apology. Its passive and putting the attention in the wrong place. You apologize for the cause, not the reaction.

[openblogtomyabusivemother]

Yes! So exactly on point about the passivity emphasizing the wrong thing. It's legit if they say, "I'm sorry I hurt you". That sentence owns that they did the damage. Putting it in the passive is a way of saying it's your fault you feel hurt without even having to say it directly. Toxic af. And not an apology.

[void-floyd-art]

My mom doesn't even acknowledge that she hurt me. She'll always act as if she didn't just yell at me five minutes ago and starts calling me insufferable pet names, as if her calling me sweetie is going to undo all the damage.

[mitzo]

I’m sorry you feel that way

Thanks for saying “I did nothing wrong but you think I did” because that will do a lot

[sans--seraph]

Where the heck did that narcissist’s prayer go? Cause I swear it was tailor made for my mother....