Love Begins
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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Keni
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Not today Justin
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@dysphoric-confessions
hello, this is a confession blog for dysphoric people! i, the mod, go by it/its! about 12 seconds of searching didn’t find me a dysphoria confession blog, so i made this. i don’t tag nsfw. this blog is not for transmedicalists, gender binarists, or sex binarists. take caution if you’re triggered by descriptions of dysphoria. if you like this blog, you may also like @dysphoric-culture-is.
this post last updated 17 november, 2025.
I want to go on T. I know I want it. I’ve got some reservations about the voice change, but they’re pretty well outweighed by all the stuff I want. The real thing that’s stopping me is having zero sexual or dating experience :/
I want to know what this stuff is like before T. I wanna learn what I like and don’t like about it. I wanna learn what I want. I have, like, a fear of missing out on pre-T sex. It sucks. I feel like such a loser for my lack of experience, and so stupid for caring about it. There’s nobody I feel like I can talk to about it, either. Even with my therapist, it feels like it would just be a waste of time. I have no hope of any part of this changing anytime soon. I kind of hate myself for it.
2 September, 2025.
im pretty much only dsyphoric about my chest and its not that bad most of the time but when it is bad it fucking SUCKS because i do Not wanna go on T and im terrified by the idea of getting top surgery (i have pretty severe ocd and not being able to bathe for that long while recovering would be legitimately traumatic to the point where idk if it would be worth it) and i currently dont really have any way of getting a binder or trans tape or anything like that because id have to ask my parents sicne i live with them i dont have my own credit card yet (which is also something im embarrassed about because i am a [disabled] adult)
its starting to get hotter outside and im worried. i think i have a good chance of getting a job this summer that would involve a lot of working outside. and its a job i want and i hope i get it and i think i would enjoy it but im worried about dysphoria. like ill probablt be wearing tank tops cause of the heat and ill be around other people. i wish my chest was just magically flat and i didnt have to do anything. i think im a little scared. i dont really know what i should do. the only thing i can think of is trying to contact this lgbt support group thing in my city and asking for advice but i might have to figure out how to navigate the bus system by myself (again, embarrassing stupid disabled adult moment) (also i recently found out about visa gift cards and if i could get my hands on those i could maybe buy a binder or tape online without having to go through my parents but then id have to hide the package/binder itself from them and wjdhshxjhs theres so much). also id have to find out my bra size to get a binder i think and that is its own issue.
my parents arent like, super transphobic or gonna kick me out or whatvwr they just very awkward whenever i try to talk about this stuff and i can tel they really dont want to hear about it and hate when i bring it up so i hate talkinf to them about it
sorry its so long
May 30, 2024.
I just recently found out I’m probably too fat for bottom surgery (while many surgeons seem to have bmi limits for all trans affirming surgeries, meta in particular does because the fat covers the neophallus and makes it harder to stp) and I’m absolutely devastated. It’s especially hard because it feels like my fault that I gained weight as I used to be skinny.
Trying really hard to outgrow internalized fatphobia, and this has definitely set me back a lot as well as made my dysphoria worse.
May 19, 2024.
I’m pretty sure I’m transmasc, but bottom growth makes me nervous. I don’t know why, it just does, out of literally anything else physically. The fact I’m now in my 20s I feel like I’m so late. Since I tried coming out years ago, my family always makes me feel like I’m making bad decisions. What if the changes are too much? What if they’re right? What if I’m a fake since half the time I feel indifferent to my body anymore, cause I’m so used to the way it looks, and the feeling of being trapped. I’m tired of feeling like this, but becoming a man also scares me because of what I’ll lose. I want to be a doula, but who wants a man as a doula? I feel like I’ll become the enemy, even though I know its the only way I’ll feel normal.
May 15, 2024.
The 2024 Gender Census is now open!
[ Link to survey ]
The 11th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 13th June 2024.
It’s short and easy, about 5 minutes probably.
After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.
If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful - it’s what helped us get 40,000 responses last year.
Survey URL: https://survey.gendercensus.com
The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.
For the curious, you can also spy on some graphs and demographic data for the incoming responses here.
Thank you so much!
[ Link to survey ]
Image credit: Malachite and rhodochrosite.
the fucking misery of not having a fucking dick lmao. you know those experiments with decellularization and recellularizarion? it’s so tantalizing to know that growing your own penis with your own DNA and real erectile tissue almost certainly will be possible, but it’s not yet. and even when it is, will i be able to get it? if it takes too long to develop the technology, then i’ll have to wait longer, or maybe i’ll even die before they make it available. if they do it quickly, then it’ll be within the current medical system, and it’ll cost thousands of dollars, plus jumping through hoops to get permission. i just wanna have a real dick without needing a graft. i just. the shame and frustration and longing and grief and insecurity. i don’t want to have all these horrible feelings about my genitals. i just want sex to be something joyful, not painful.
idk if this is the right place to ask but uugghhhh. i can't bind with ye olden normal binders because i move around a lot, so i'm trying to bind with tape for now but it's not working well. Idk if i'm stupid but it always looks like i gave myself a boob lift instead??? And then i end up giving myself even more dysphoria. How do people apply this? Are there guides for this?
April 25, 2024. There are, in fact, guides for this. Here’s one: https://www.tumblr.com/nothorses/650052836864966656/transtape-a-guide
why is finding trans healthcare so complicated can’t someone just hit me up with boy juice and amputitty me already
“you need documentation” ok fine
i have no idea if this will help with your situation, but erin reed has a map with all informed consent clinics- this may be completely unhelpful but i know these clinics make it easier to access hrt with less barriers.
so I made the original post as a joke, but then I saw this and found an informed consent provider in my area and I’m gonna make an appointment. genuinely thank you, this reblog could make my healthcare journey so much easier. hope this helps someone else too <3
Here's the map itself, since Twitter is fucking up and won't let me see the damn tweet.
Support the creator of this map with a donation: https://ko-fi.com/erininthemorn Lets make informed consent easier to access. Follow me on
[Image Description: Ron Swanson’s “permit” that says “I can do what I want.” Instead of “Ron,” it’s signed “—me.”]
train voice for a while -> get too dysphoric about it and stop -> try again after a couple of months -> lost all progress -> too devastated to start training again
April 7, 2024.
i hate having a chest so fucking badly i cannot wait until i can get top surgery but it would take forever to get the money it's so frusturating
March 21, 2024.
i want SO BADLY to introduce myself as steve but i can never do it because i don’t know how people will react and i don’t want to re-introduce the name to people i know . my school implemented a dumbass policy that if you want to be referred to as a nickname very different from your registered name it has to be ok with your parent. they said it was to protect kids from being accidentally outed but it’s the stupidest way of doing it i’ve ever heard. i want to tell everyone “I AM STEVE!!” because it is so true and gives me so much joy, but at the same i hold it in myself and guard it so closely. it feels comfortable enough when people use my current name because it’s easy and i’ve been doing it for so long but it also feels just a little too wrong to ignore now
i’m steve.
March 6, 2024.
changing from the little sun icon to marking submissions with the date they were sent. wish i had thought of it earlier! depending on time zone, the date i mark might be different from the date you sent it.
also, for anyone who missed the change in my pinned post a while back— i decided not to mark nsfw! i realized i didn’t want to deal with the ambiguities of what’s safe for work and what’s not. you’ll have to use your own judgement on that.
More of a past-tense one, but I used to always hope I would get really severe breast cancer so I'd have to get my breasts removed but it wouldn't "be my fault" just in case I didn't like it which felt really logical at the time, but stepping back a bit is a little bit concerning ngl.
(I got a pretty extreme breast reduction bc insurance would cover that vs genuine top surgery which seems like it helped a lot. I don't want to admit it but they still feel kind of big even though I know they're really not and especially not compared to how they were, so I'm not 100% sure what to do; It's still a massive improvement and don't have to do a bra which is great, I just still wish they were smaller and I can't really bind for a few different reasons so yeah :/ )
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fucking crying when you hear someone talk with the voice you wish you had. fuck
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I hate my face, voice, and height. My face and voice make me feel disgustingly unfeminine, yet I also hate feeling small around guys. I wish my face looked more feminine. I wish I could get rid of my voice. But most of all, I wish I could make myself over 6' tall.
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Might be overstepping my bounds, but they made it so you have to Opt Out of AI Training on Tumblr now.
If you want to opt out - and you probably do - you should go to your individual blog's settings and find it under Visibility.
Oh don’t worry I did it immediately hahaha
Boosting this tho for any other artists on here who didn’t know about this
