I am normal I am normal I am not going to bang my head against the bus window because I can't stand the smell and the people and being trapped here and the fact that I'm getting late to my favourite class. I am normal I am normal I am having a normal one I am n-
Iโm watching that documentary โBefore Stonewallโ about gay history pre-1969, and uncovered something which I think is interesting.
The documentary includes a brief clip of a 1954 televised newscast about the rise of homosexuality. The host of the program interviewed psychologists, a police officer, and one โknown homosexualโ. The โknown homosexualโ is 22 years old. He identifies himself as Curtis White, which is a pseudonym; his name is actually Dale Olson.
So I tracked down the newscast. According to what I can find, Dale Olson may have been the first gay man to appear openly on television and defend his sexual orientation. He explains that thereโs nothing wrong with him mentally and heโs never been arrested. When asked whether heโd take a cure if it existed, he says no. When asked whether his family knows heโs gay, he says that they didnโt up until tonight, but he guesses theyโre going to find out, and heโll probably be fired from his job as well. So of course the host is like โฆwhy are you doing this interview then? and Dale Olson, cool as cucumber pie, says โI think that this way I can be a little useful to someone besides myself.โ
1954. 22 years old. Balls of pure titanium.
Despite the pseudonym, Daleโs boss did indeed recognize him from the TV program, and he was promptly fired the next day. He wrote into ONE magazine six months later to reassure readers that he had gotten a new job at a higher salary.
Curious about what became of him, I looked into his life a little further. It turns out that he ultimately became a very successful publicity agent. He promoted the Rocky movies and Superman. Not only that, but get this: Dale represented Rock Hudson, and he was the person who convinced him to disclose that he had AIDS! He wrote the statement Rock read. And as we know, Rock Hudsonโs disclosure had a very significant effect on the national conversation about AIDS in the U.S.
It appears that no one has made the connection between Dale Olson the publicity agent instrumental in the AIDS debate and Dale Olson the 22-year-old first openly gay man on TV. So I thought Iโd make it. For Pride month, an unsung gay hero.
for the times when you really truly want to do something, but find resistance or that starting feels impossible
most helpful action to get into a task is:
look at it
options include: review what you've already done
open the tab on screen
blur your eyes at first if that helps
fullscreen the image
browse or skim relevant texts
let your gaze move around how it will
JUST...LOOK!!!
Your brain has resistance towards starting the particular project in the way that you've previously conceived of it. Instead of fighting that resistance, try to change your approach to starting your work. Ie, start with colored pencils on a piece you were doing in gouache, include a new stitch in a crochet piece,
Step one: identify the process
Step two: identify places where something new can be included
Step three: brainstorm new options to fill these spots
Step four: select one or more options and try your piece from this new angle
encourage yourself by asking questions
start with: "What am I actually trying to do right now?"
then try: "What would this look like if it were more fun?" "How would I do it if anything was possible?"
divide into discrete tasks
make the closest or shiniest one literally as small & specific as freaking possible
image text: I BELIEVE IN YOU
screenshot text: The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.
W.B. Yeats (via billowy)
staring at the dessert menu and twirling my hair and going "should I be baaaaddd" until the autistic girl I'm eating with says "there is nothing bad about eating dessert. it is a morally neutral action"
isn't it insane though how schizophrenic people are viewed as violent and dangerous by the majority of society when in reality schizophrenic people are nearly 14 times more likely to be on the receiving end of violence than to be the perpetrators...
1) schizophrenia hardly ever causes people to be violent so schizophrenic people arenโt more likely to be violent than anyone else
2) schizophrenic peopleโs autonomy is often taken away from them because of their schizophrenia. because the authorities and mental healthcare providers often automatically assume schizophrenic people to be violent, theyโre more likely to immediately react to schizophrenic people's symptoms with violence, without even knowing for sure said schizophrenic person was going to be violent. all of this causes schizophrenic people to be more likely of being victims of violence and abuse. schizophrenic people also have a harder time getting out of abusive households because of the risk of their autonomy being taken away. if a schizophrenic personโs relative or partner is abusive, often the schizophrenic person has no way out of the situation, both because our disconnect from reality can result in us being easier to manipulate, and because the system is built in a way that it takes away our autonomy because of our condition.
also schizophrenic people and psychotic people in general, please do a lot of research before picking a provider for your own sake, and if they try to treat your psychosis in a way that you think is harmful then donโt hesitate to switch providers. your safety and wellbeing should be a priority over everything else.
You actually cannot skip to being good at a creative endeavour that you haven't put much practice into. You cannot trick your way out of the 'knows that your work is not what you want it to be but don't know how to improve it' stage by planning or reading or talking about it really really hard. At some point you just have to craft through it until your brain finds it's own unique way back to the 'everything I make slaps' stage and be prepared to start the cycle all over again. You just have to make that project you're excited about slightly less good than you want it to be. (Says this standing in a pool of blood and covered in blood and also coughing up a little blood)