Hey, if you know someone with ADHD
I just wanna let you lads without adhd in on something
Those of us with adhd have this nifty little thing called RSD. It stands for rejection sensitive dysphoria. Something like 99.8% of people with adhd have it. It’s an example of how adhd messes with emotional regulation.
If someone with adhd even perceives that they may possibly upset someone whose opinion and love they value, they may have a complete emotional breakdown, complete with tears and the certainty that they will now be hated forever. This reaction can also be caused by their own opinion of themselves.
If you see someone you know who has adhd make a mistake, please be gentle with them - especially if that mistake is related to you or someone else. You may save them an RSD episode and a lot of heartache.
Also, as a side note, RSD can also kick in when it comes to things someone with adhd likes. For instance, if I find a comic online and find it funny, if I show it to you, I’m confiding in you not to hurt me. Showing someone something I love takes a huge amount of trust. That’s because, if someone who I care about says something mean or negative about something I like, it can literally, permanently ruin it for me.
This isn’t melodramatics. It’s not about being bitter or petty. It’s an RSD response that comes from feeling inadequate if the things I like don’t measure up to the people whose opinions I care about. I’ve had entire hyperfixations absolutely ruined for me because my sister said she ‘didn’t get it’ and compared beloved characters to something she knows I hate. I could no longer see that show without thinking of the overwhelming sadness that came with that experience. That show became shame. It’s taken almost a year for me to even be able to palate looking at content for it again.
These days, I don’t share hyperfixations with people I’m not confident understand how much they mean to me. It’s a touchy subject and can end in devastation.
So, my point is, if you know someone with ADHD, please be kind to them and keep this in mind when they share things with you. You don’t have to like something or even understand it to show compassion. Maybe ask a question or two before letting the topic trail off. If you don’t seem very interested, they’re likely to find other people to talk about it with anyway, since it’s clear you’re not very into it (depending on how socially aware they are). However, even if they can tell you’re not into it, you’ve made a compassionate and understanding experience for them, showing your support and love and letting them know you care.
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