Frank Writes

[frankpanioncube-writes]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Whoo I wanted a quest fic. 

[frankpanioncube-writes]

Prank War - Round 2

Title: Prank War (Round 2)

Fandom: Obey Me

Rating: Probably a solid PG-13 MAAYYYYBE R?

Pairings: None, but obviously Asmo’s plans are going to be rather ruined...for at least a week if I know anything about mixing patchouli with almost anything equally strong.

Warnings: Gender neutral M/C - Spoilers for a few stories perhaps…pranks that are commonly pulled in dorm situations, Pranks I have in most cases been a part of pulling IRL

Plot: In which M/C decides to put their knowledge of and experience with school residence living situations to stand up for Mammon against his brothers…or at least the ones that deserve it. And Beel is an accessory to a lot of it.

Read it on Ao3

The human honestly had to admit that all things considered, Round One could not have gone any better than it had. 

    Lucifer was pissed, so avoiding him was already a great idea. And the whole reason he was pissed was that he couldn’t find anyone to blame for the prank itself. Mammon was high on the suspicion list but it foremost wasn’t even his style, second he truly was a TERRIBLE actor and third had been well and truly kept in the dark due to actually being at his photoshoot the whole day long with witnesses and all.

    He’d just about died laughing when he’d been brought up to speed...on everything but the human’s involvement of course, as per the only rule of this little war.

    Belphagor was prime suspect number two but had slept through it and though he was by comparison an accomplished liar he would have been damn proud to have taken credit for that one. His reaction had absolved him immediately.

    It was highly likely that Satan, Levi and Asmo were attempting to stay off the hit list by keeping mum about what they had seen and Beel, well...he was next only to Diavolo’s favourite human under the subject line of  ‘couldn’t possibly have been involved’. 

    Not to mention both he and the human had gone out for lunch well before the prank was discovered by the prankee, another little bit of insurance the human was giving themselves a mental pat on the back for.

    Really the only blowback so far had been the fact that the little D’s were just a bit more vicious than usual during battles given that in Beel’s absence, they had been tasked with returning all of the heavy furniture to its rightful place in Lucifer’s chambers.

    At least one however had, according to Belphagor - confirmed that the parting gift of tissues, lotion and photograph had not been re-moved from the room...but then again, if Belphie was the one to say it, it might or might not be true.

    Damn funny if it was, though.

    Speaking of partners in crime, Beel was going to catch a break for the time being. If Belphagor was on the strike list, better to lure the twin into a false sense of security. Besides, Belphagor would be a hard mark. It made sense that Asmo should be next.

    The Avatar of Lust presented a different sort of challenge really. Had he been any other person (demon), messing with his clothes or hair products or dumping something hard to get out like ink or glitter into his room would likely wind up with the offending substance or look being the new hottest thing. Four years later and the human was still finding glitter in their damn luggage….and besides, they’d seen Mean Girls.

    Bleach in his hair products? No...that would be a mere minor inconvenience. Asmo knew how to fix those kinds of mishaps in a second.

    “Hey you got any more of these?” Beel nudged the human from their thoughts, rustling a bag of crisps - Doritos, actually. “Oh...uh, no actually. Don’t know why I brought them at all to be honest. That orange fake cheese gets on your hands and it’s impossible...to...wash...off. Uh. I think I have different crisps under my-- gotta go.”

    “Under where?” Beel called after, but the human ignored him. He’d find them regardless.

    Asmo was certainly never going to eat cheese-dust covered crisps, he’d notice in a second what they did to Beel’s nails and fingertips and that would go over like a lead balloon. No, it would have to be more…

    Classic.

    Well, every person on the planet knew a bucket of water above the door or leaned against it was a minor delay in clothes change at worst or the inconvenience of a wet floor at best.

But something that actively didn’t wash out because of Science…not to mention had the added effect of creating a dust cloud that would be impossible to completely avoid

The human hummed cheerily to themselves as they dumped Asmo’s selection of talcum powder into a bucket rigged above the door. 

As an added bonus they now knew that Asmo would not only be tied up for hours trying to get talcum powder out of his hair and clothes without it clumping into wet little powder balls but he would spend a significant portion of time smelling like he’d spent the entire afternoon bathing in patchouli and well...urgh, something-that-did-not-go-with-patchouli-at-all soup.

Not a single soul, demon or otherwise would go near the Avatar of Lust for at least a week.

Whistling, the human wandered off to find Mammon. Maybe he’d be interested in going out that evening. They knew for a fact he should just be finishing up his make-up work that he’d missed for the shoot yesterday in study hall just at that moment.

[frankpanioncube-writes]

Obey Me: Prank War (Prologue/Round 1)

Title: Prank War (Prologue / Round 1)

Fandom: Obey Me

Rating: Probably a solid PG-13 MAAYYYYBE R?

Pairings: None but a commentary is made about what the nature of Lucifer and Diavolo’s relationship is

Warnings: Gender neutral M/C - Spoilers for a few stories perhaps…pranks that are commonly pulled in dorm situations, Pranks I have in most cases been a part of pulling IRL

Plot: In which M/C decides to put their knowledge of and experience with school residence living situations to stand up for Mammon against his brothers…or at least the ones that deserve it. (Beel rarely joins in, which actually makes him the perfect accessory to a prank war…) 

Or Read it on AO3

Keep reading

[frankpanioncube-writes]

Obey Me: Prank War (Prologue/Round 1)

Title: Prank War (Prologue / Round 1)

Fandom: Obey Me

Rating: Probably a solid PG-13 MAAYYYYBE R?

Pairings: None but a commentary is made about what the nature of Lucifer and Diavolo’s relationship is

Warnings: Gender neutral M/C - Spoilers for a few stories perhaps...pranks that are commonly pulled in dorm situations, Pranks I have in most cases been a part of pulling IRL

Plot: In which M/C decides to put their knowledge of and experience with school residence living situations to stand up for Mammon against his brothers...or at least the ones that deserve it. (Beel rarely joins in, which actually makes him the perfect accessory to a prank war...) 

Or Read it on AO3

Prologue:

The human could accept that there was some strong contention as to why they, of all people had been selected for an exchange program in the Devildom. Their counterpart for example was a notably powerful sorcerer and had previous dealings and a history with quite a few of the Demons in question. The human however was none of or even close to being those things.

Nor were they a great noted scholar of theology or anthropology. They weren’t strong or very spiritual.

Not even their family had been religious. 

However, as they watched yet another pissing match break out between the brothers, this new train of thought seemed to melt into their previous one in a way that hadn’t been there before.

    Oh sure, it had seemed harmless enough at first. Not worth noticing. Especially with the performances Mammon gave whenever he was riled. He always reacted.

    And then, the human had started noticing that the punishments were...rather severe. Not simple retribution for inter-house, inter-sibling prank wars.

    That was how, then, the human came to the conclusion that they did have one very important life experience to bring to the table here. One whole life-time-until-now of school residential life. 

    It was time for a little not-so-divine justice and retaliation around this place.

    There were only one rules. Even if it was on behalf of the Avatar of Greed, he would never be directly involved…. 

Part 1 - Round 1: 

By the third time the creaking sound of something large and heavy being dragged down the nearby hall broke through the haze of suspended disbelief that went along with being absorbed in a good book, Satan had had just about enough.

    Setting the (first edition, inscribed) copy aside, he crossed the room and flung open the door, thoroughly prepared to give the noise polluting offender a good damn piece of his mind. 

“What is going--” and all at once the angry rant died on his lips as he looked at the scene currently playing out in the hallway.  A number of doors down the way were also opening; their  inhabitants summoned by the same cacophony. While Asmodeaus was apparently trying to work out whether or not he was dreaming or maybe hung over, the Avatar of Wrath managed to catch Leviathan’s eye who seemed ultimately as gobsmacked as he was, the oddity overriding his natural inclination to ignore whatever the ‘normies’ were up to.

    Normal certainly wasn’t the word that applied in any remote way here, by Levi’s definition or any other besides.

    Now, being a logical sort, Satan recognized that stating that ‘weird’ stuff was happening in a dorm was a bit of a Catch-22. Students with a variety of different interests and specializations being forced to cohabitate could lead to all manner of unusual issues, never mind throwing the nature of the Devildom or humans being there for purposes other than the flagellation of their mortal souls into the mixture. 

    Then again, there was also this. Presently happening...and above other things, Satan liked a mystery.

    No amount of logic could suss out a good hypothesis as to why Beezelbub was all but harnessed to what was almost certainly Lucifer’s king-size bed; mattress, bedsheets, frame and all, dragging it like a yolked animal through the halls of the House of Lamentation. To add to the mystery, the human was helping him out (as much as a human could assist Beel’s strength), but they weren’t phoning it in either with sincere effort evident on their face as they pushed the bed from behind.

    Satan’s brain finally caught up with the rest of him and he finally asked the obvious question. “Why exactly are you moving Lucifer’s bed?”

    “Pact.” Was Beel’s answer, tight with strain.

    “But Beelzebub...has a pact with--.” 

    “...And I’m helping.’

    “You are the one Beelzebub has a pact with.” Satan ground out, mostly to stem the little ebb of anger that had started to rise up in him. 

    “Well, countless reasons could apply here but I’m simply assisting with a little change of scenery I felt well deserved.” 

    Satan raised an eyebrow. “And where is the change of scenery taking place to? Ah. Let me guess. Mammon’s room?”

    “Oh, Mammon has nothing to do with this. Actually I----t happens to be a relocation to the bathroom.”

    Now invested in this development, Satan squeezed himself past Beel, the bed and the human and made his way down the hall to the main public bathroom. Sure enough, the vast majority of Lucifer’s furniture was packed in wherever there was a corner to do so: against the block of shower stalls, a few chairs arranged in a circle around the hand-wash station. A book case (amusingly enough) propped up against the toilet cubicles.

    “Oooh. This is going to be tricky. Really I should have done my measurements. Hey...maybe we can make it into a Murphy bed. Put it up against the back wall there Beel and we can go get some lunch.” the Human was tapping at their chin, observing the back wall as though this was not completely insane and potentially a great way to dramatically decrease their lifespan.

    Beel nodded agreeably to that notion and as Satan jumped out of the way of his younger brothers’ single minded determination to get the task done and over with, he took another look at the set up.

    “This is all of Lucifer’s posessions.” he declared, the beginnings of a smirk finding their way onto his features.

    “Oh NO! Not ALL! We left him stuff.”

    “What kind of...stuff?” The instant the words left Satan’s mouth he realized he had just asked a question that he very much did not want the answer to.

    “Box ‘a tissues.” Beel grunted around the effort of heaving the bed up against the wall. 

    Amused though he was, Satan winced as there was something of a smack of cloth hitting shower-damp tile. “Oh. That’ll go over well.’

    “Not JUST a box of tissues. We also left him some hand lotion and a picture of Diavolo.”

    Satan suppressed a laugh, a feat made harder by the fact that even Beel seemed to be trying to hide a snigger.

“What brought this on?” His next guess was actually going to be Belphagor, but the human waved him away.

“Oh, countless petty reasons could have applied, but I really didn’t like how he, among others here...had been treating one of my favourite...and might I add...first friends that I made..” 

It was ballsy as well...hell, and Satan opened his mouth to tell the human just exactly that.

Then it hit him.

    Among others. 

    Well now it was a question of who and moreover what was next.

[frankpanioncube-writes]

Pet Chef

Beelzebub mentions he would like a pet chef. The logistics of this are contemplated.

“So a pet chef, huh? What am I, a cooking rat?”

“You’d cook me a rat?” 

“No. It’s...it’s a human movie… y’know what? If you want to know, ask Leviathan. He knows about human media, he’ll probably be happy to explain it, I’m sure. So, back to this pet thing. Do I have a cage and a leash and you let me out to take a cr --”

“It’s not like that!”

“--on the lawn?” It was almost cruel teasing Beelzebub. Almost. Yes he was definitely a demon, but his earnestness and actual blush wasn’t nearly as much fun as giving the business to say, Mammon.  “Do I at least get to sleep at the end of the bed?”

“I…”

“No no no, man it might not be all bad. You know, if I actually cooked the amount of food you ate on a daily basis I’d be about as ripped as you in no time! That and my feet would kill me.”

“You’re not worried about working in a demon kitchen?”

“No, not a whit. Come on, I’m too small. Even the shortest of you is almost a foot taller than I am. Plus I’m too skinny to eat. Or there’s always the obvious joke here.”

There was a few raised eyebrows before a rather obvious snicker sounded from the other end of the room. Clearly this had been Asmodeus, for whom the joke had not been in fact lost on.

“Care to prove that? Why don’t you come over here and give us a cuddle.”

That of course achieved the correct outraged squak from Mammon. “Excuse me, if anyone is going to be cuddling the human it will be me. That’s all you were looking for anyway! Any lame excuse to snuggle.” 

Asmodeus chuckled. “First of all, that sounds like the sort of stupid thing you would think of, and second of all, as disappointing as it seems, I think Beel already has it covered.”

“I have a popcorn bowl on my head.” Sure enough, when sitting back to Beel’s chest, the demon’s legs extended far beyond the yours. “Uh...popcorn bowl aside and setting aside the fact this isn’t the first time I’ve used a part of my anatomy as a food shelf, I really can’t say I’m worried about being a pet. In fact, I daresay the roles are reversed. I feed him, then he sleeps, he enjoys head pets and belly rubs and he drapes himself all over me. I occasionally get slobbered on.”

What had you thought before about it being sort of cruel to tease Beel? But he’d probably let it roll off his back if the others said anything anyway. Oh hell, look at that, the popcorn bowl was now on the bed...there’d probably be a butter grease stain. Maybe you should be more worried that you were very locked in now. Trying to get out from Beelzebub/s embrace was like trying to wriggle out from under a pile of bricks...comfy...warm...bricks. 

You still weren’t quite sure what this relationship was now, but it didn’t seem to matter.

“Okay. We’ll just sleep and figure out the specifics later.”

[frankpanioncube-writes]

Truth or Dare

“Truth or Dare. This is going to be way more crazy than the earth version. Who wants to go first?”

“I will.”

“Beel, stepping up. Okay. What are you going for?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to...eat the wax candle in Lucifer’s bedroom.”

“Done.”

The whole party followed the demon out of the bedroom and down the hall where Beelzebub ate a whole wax candle.

“That’s not right Beel.”

“It was cherry and cinnamon.”

“Still wrong”

“But he did it so he gets to pick who is next.”

“Can we get out of here before Lucifer shows up?”

The group hurried out of the bedroom immediately.

“Okay okay who is next.” 

“I will.” Asmodeus stuck his hand up from the back of the group.’

“So um. I say “Truth or Dare right?”

“Yeah.”

“Truth or dare?”

Asmodaeus thought for a moment. “Truth I guess.”

“Tell us what you really think of Dana.”

“Please don’t! I…”

The demon chuckled. “She’s quite pretty for a human but awfully small.”

Dana laughed. “I’m okay with this.”

“Aw we all know you love Beel.”

“Lies, she’s GAY.”

“I’m bi and I love Beel. And it’s not even my turn. And for that I get to play next.”

“I guess that’s fair. Okay who do you pick.”

‘Mammon. Was Lucifer right about you eating people. The truth now,that’s the game.”

“Yes.”

“Were you going to eat Me?”

“...no.”

“I didn’t think so.”

“Maybe.”

“I still didn’t think so”

[frankpanioncube-writes]

The Cure All

“Okay I’m not going to be stupid about this. I promise. But can I try this one thing if I have the cure all?”

“Oh I bet it’s human. You want to try human!”

“NO! Uh...Well no. Maybe if I knew I was going to - NO. No human.”

Mammon snickered. “It’s really not that bad.”

“I don’t think you’ve ACTUALLY ever eaten a person Mammon. You just say you do to sound big.”

“Eh, well…” Beelzebub looked uncomfortable. “That’s…”

“Okay let’s just ignore it. I want to eat shellfish. I want to eat the hell version of lobster. Please I am allergic...but if Luke can make me food that counters the effects I’d like to try it. I’ll take one bite and then eat a bite of the cure!”

“You should be able to do that. Actually here.”

Satan gave Dana a bright smile. “Your punishment isn’t gluttony. You were only sick because you can’t digest our food. As long as you stick to human food or Celestial food you should be okay. You’ll find here you can have lobsters or shrimp or whatever you like if they’re from the human world.”

“Um…what do you mean that my punishment isn’t gluttony. Because that’s worrying me a good deal more.”

“I think we’ll be good friends. The best.”

“Don’t scare her Satan. After all she loves food. Whose to say I don’t get her.”

“Um...so okay. I can be angry if it means I get to try lobster.”

[frankpanioncube-writes]

Based on my dislike of marble cheese

Beel, when humans want to be bad about their diet they eat...chocolate. And marble cheese. And BEER.”

“Marble cheese is something you consider not good to eat?”

“Um...I suppose so, This is where you’re going with it? Not the beer?”

“You don’t like chocolate. I know you like beer because you stole mine and lied about it.”

“I didn’t ‘steal’ it, I told you I was going to---well never mind. Lying and stealing is like Demon 101 anyway. But okay no, I don’t like marble cheese. When I can have medium cheddar why would I ever want that crap? It’s...kind of flavourless.”

“Food is food.”

“”Food is not just food. My dear sweet Beel. You’re going to be a foodie yet.”

“Doesn’t eating automatically make me one?”

“What? NO! Look Okay. It’s like...white bread. No one eats white bread.”

“Yes they do. Humans eat white bread.”

“But it’s...rubbery Okay no one eats it unless they have to. I mean...okay when I was poor i ate it but now I have some income…”

“Well what about the packet ramen?”

“Packet ramen is delicious. Mango curry cup noodles are the best.””

“You are only slightly wrong  Actually it’s spicy curry..”

“Packet ramen is not on the same  level as marble cheese. And from someone who likes cheeseburgers you just shhh. Shh. Hard.”

“I have an idea.”

“And does that idea involve me making you food?”

“Yep. There are apples and cinnamon in the fridge. I hear humans enjoy that combination.”

“Eh, sure I’ll make you an apple pie.”

[frankpanioncube-writes]

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Gyftmas Greetings

My @undertalesecretsanta 2019 present for my recipient @mezzosesu! They were looking for WLW and some of the more obscure characters not in the main cast. 

Rating: PG

Warnings: A kiss and some implied less pleasant (but left to the imagination) family splits.

Characters/Pairings: Grillby, Fuku Fire/Skateboard Girl with cameos by Sans, Papyrus, Alphys and Asgore.

It spoke to the power of anonymity that a bartender wielded that not even Sans was privy to the information that that Grillby’s full name was in fact ‘Grillby Junior.’ Nor indeed that he had a younger sister. 

Agni, better known to her friends as ‘Fuku’ went to school in Hotland as did most monster children, but sensibly the majority of her family lived there too

“FINALLY!” Skates exclaimed as the final school bell rung. She was already dragging Fuku out the door before the sound had stopped even so much as reverberating. “So. What are you doing this Gyftmas break? I’m going to see Santa and maybe see a show at the MTT resort. Bratty and Catty say they’re going to be selling stuff there for presents again this year. Or selling presents.” 

Fuku knew well to wait until her friend had finished talking. Honestly, the more Skates went on,  the more she wanted to just say that she’d stay with her. “Um well, I don’t really get to see my big brother. He doesn’t like to come to Hotland much.” 

Skates actually stopped, swivelling on her board to face her. “Honestly? Where does your brother live anyway, if not in Hotland? Is he adopted?”

“No, he’s not. But he lives in Snowdin. Um...you know, he thought the um...monsters there would like a warm place to eat and drink. And um, you know, we’re fire elementals so it was a good business decision.”

Perhaps it was. Fuku was the only person in their family who kept in touch with Grillby. Grillby Senior and her mother both had not supported the idea, but apparently her brother was doing fine despite the temperature and had a thriving business. She missed him and had wanted to go visit for awhile now.

“Okay okay...fiiiine.” Skates moaned. “Just tell me you’ll post status updates on Undernet like EVERY day. Twice every day! I can’t believe you’re going to be missing this! I know, fake sick! Or we could break a puzzle on the way!”

“I’ve got Ferry tickets.”

“Aw. Fine. But three posts every day. And photos! And um...yeah. I guess I can give you your present when you get back.”

*** 

The monster who met her as she stepped off the ferry flashed her a bright smile. Mostly because he was a skeleton. “WHY HELLO YOUNG GRILLBY! MY ROYAL GUARD IN TRAINING DUTIES FOR TODAY ARE TO ESCORT YOU TO YOUR BROTHER’S ESTABLISHMENT! I HOPE YOU WILL JOIN US FOR OUR GYFTMAS CELEBRATIONS!” He offered a wink. “SANTA MAY COME!”

Fuku gave the tall skeleton a bit of a shaky but genuine smile. “Thank you.” She said, taking the umbrella he provided. It wasn’t a long walk but it kept the snow off her flames.

“Well I’m...glad that Grillby has provided Snowdin with a place for...community.” Papyrus marched along. “He is my brother’s favourite cook.” If there was a note of frustration buried in that, Fuku didn’t notice, in part because the stream of conversation only continued from there. Fuku let the noise, loud though it was, fade into the background.

“Here you are.” Papyrus pushed open the door and a rush of warm air and an inviting scent of cooked food wafted out. 

“Thank you...um…”

“The Great Papyrus at your service!”

“Thank you Papyrus.” Fuku repeated, watching as the Skeleton turned on his booted heel and vanished away into the swirling flurries of snow.

“Grillby’s soft crackling filled the air from behind her. “Fuku!”

“Brother! I can wrap my arms all the way around you now. I guess you sell all the food to your customers.”

Grillby smiled. He’d never exactly been big but his teenage years had seen him a bit on the chubby side. There was a whole photo album that the whole bar would have paid all the gold in the Underground to see. “It’s just because I work. Always moving! But I’m glad you’re here. It’s been awhile and…” Grillby threw his tea towel on the counter and came to hug her. “Does um...dad know you’re here?”

“Well, kind of. What I actually said was that I was going to Snowdin to visit my friend for a sleepover. My best friend in fact. My big brother!” she gave a little internal wince as she thought of Skates, but the way her brothers’ arms tightened around her was worth it.

Somewhere at the end of the bar Sans gave a lazy grin as he nodded off.

“Well I’m happy to see you too. Here.” Grillby put a plate of chips down on the bar  “I can make you something more if you’re more hungry.”

“Oh yes please!” 

She was handed a menu. “Let me know.”

One grilled cheese sandwich and a coke later, Grillby did last call and the duo were alone, climbing the stairs that lead to the flat above the bar. It wasn’t enormous but it was a far cry from the ‘shack’ their father had been ranting about. 

“Here we go, upstairs. The couch pulls out and there’s extra blankets in the hall closet if it’s too cold.”

“Thanks big brother.” 

“Anytime.” Grillby could sense there was something more to this.

Fuku curled up under the blankets and listened to the sounds of Grillby walking down the hall. A door opened and closed, probably his bedroom. 

She pulled out her phone.

One text from the parents. <<Yes I’m here. Going to bed.>>

Her finger hovered over the status posting app. She’d had a perfectly lovely evening catching up with her brother. Snowdin was nice and it was nice to see he was happy here. He’d even suggested some fun things to do. Some of them she even kind of recalled that skeleton monster talking about on the way. 

The problem was however she’d be tempted to see all the things Skates and her other friends were doing too.

It was hard to wait for Santa to come to some tiny little Gyftmas tree lighting in Snowdin when she knew that everyone would be seeing an MTT performance at the hotel and then going to Muffet’s annual Spider Bake Sale. She’d have to wait to get a gift from Skates...and that was the one that she was actually excited about. Her parents would get her boring stuff...and...well, the last three Christmases she’d been under the same roof as her brother he had gotten her a noogie, a hurtz donut and a very memorable promise to sit on her. She was willing to bet that he was (fortunately) no longer into those things and probably (unfortunately) would be buying her something ‘practical’ she could ‘really use’. 

Still she’d promised Skates so she took a breath and opened the app. 

Not a lot going on. That one monster had posted something more about “Mew-mew”. Scrolling past. She ‘liked’ a few things and noticed only one time Skates had posted anything - a thumbs up on Purple Diamond-Head’s new skateboard deck. 

None of the interesting things her friend had talked about were showing up...but on the other hand it was the first day off school. Most kids just wanted to rest after writing finals after all. 

Fuku scrolled back up. <<Visited my brother’s bar in Snowdin. He wouldn’t give me drinks, boo. Miss u guys!! :(>>

There. 

***

The next morning Grillby was making pancakes when Fuku wandered in. “Good morning. I thought we’d head over to see Santa and the tree, like I said last night.” 

Fuku rubbed her eyes again. She knew her brother well and he’d never been dour, the near-gleeful cheerfulness was new. “Good morning.” she replied, feeling like she’d been standing there too long. “These are great!”

“Still your favourite?”

Fuku nodded. “Okay, they’re better than dad’s and i won’t tell him that.” 

Oh look. It was possible for her brother to look happier than he already was. This was bordering on manic.

“Okay, um. You don’t still believe in Santa. Because I got news for you, there’s a monster in a suit alright that brings us presents but his buns ain’t fluffy. Pants might be on fire---”

Grillby turned around, his smile now bemused. “Kindy keep the state of our ruler’s ass out of the breakfast conversation. But look. It’s fun okay? It’s nice to have something to do besides prep work until opening hours.” 

Fuku nodded with a giggle, but the sound died when she took the lull in conversation to check her phone again.

Still nothing at all from Skates or any of her friends. Not even a like on her status.

“Something the matter?”

“No…” 

Maybe the Undernet had gone down in Hotland? Oh! Maybe she’d just posted really late.

<<Big brother made pancakes! So good!>>

There. Nice and early 

Once the dishes were done and Fuku had borrowed some of Grillby’s warmer clothes to protect against the temperature, the duo were off, almost melting their way through a swatch of snow. 

A small crowd (or large for Snowdin) had already gathered around the tree. 

“Hello there Grillby!” a rabbit woman called out. “And who is your friend.”

“My sister Fuku. This is Cassidy Bun and her sons and daughter, Ruby, Carrot and Steve.” 

“Hello” Fuku said politely but with some sinking disappointment. The three kids were way too young for her. Even the oldest was still in stripes.

She was spared the trouble of having to make further small talk by a definitive hush falling over the assembled monsters. 

Asgore - or rather - Santa - had arrived, towering over the crowd with ease. At his side the bedecked Gyftrot came along and each ornament was lifted from the monster’s head and transferred to the tree, before Santa put a likeness of the Angel on top. 

The monster children were invited to go up and sit on Santa’s lap. Fuku cringed a bit. It was y’know, funny and ironic when you did it with your friends...but...alone, it was just sad. She spotted the Skeleton from last night clamoring with the kids and wondered if it was for their benefit or his. 

“Go on!” Grillby prodded her in the small of the back. “You too!” 

“No!” she hissed. “It’s so…” 

This was not the crowded area of Hotland she realized, just in the nick of time. She felt the weight of many eyes on her, even from her relatively quiet exclamation. “...so...good, I want to go! Myself! On my own!”

Fuku marched up to the line and stared defiantly ahead to wait her turn. 

It was always easy to forget just how huge Asgore really was. “Ho-Ho-Ho little Monster, and what can Santa bring you this Gyftmas?!” 

Well...what she wanted was easy. Getting the thing was a different story. Thinking longingly of Skates she muttered “I don’t’ really want...anything.” she said and hopped off to try to scuttle away.

“Oh you’re not going anywhere until you take a picture.” A hand grabbed her shoulder. Given that it was not a furry paw, Fuku twisted around angrily to shake off ‘Santa’s Helper’. The last thing she wanted was a picture of this floating anywhere around the Underground…

“Who do you think you…” Fuku found herself staring into a familiar face. A familiar purple face, underneath a not-so-familiar elf hat. “..SKATES! How did you get here?”

Skates looked askance at Asgore. “I’m supposed to say Santa knows everything about all the good little monsters...but uh, actually I set it up with your brother weeks ago. Guess all those MTT shows we went to were good for something! I had you fooled.”

“This is...so SO awesome! Best Gyftmas gift ever! Come on, let’s go.” 

“Nope. I meant what I said. We’re not going until we get our picture.” Skates turned to Fuku and kissed her, just as the flashbulb went off.  

[frankpanioncube-writes]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[frankpanioncube-writes]

Multi-reader Fic Preview pt3

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1G-BjuIRvrmQc-IDJYR_UDctQvFDwn0tCC1H8me_ESCo/edit?usp=sharing

[frankpanioncube-writes]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18246923/chapters/45618961#workskin

From the old undertaleprompts tumblr with a prompt of - instead of a reverse harem with all the versions of Sans from alternate universes, all the alternate universe readers show up and they all want to jump Sans.

In which you remember back to the circumstances that lead you to dating Papyrus in the first place and you get dragged back to reality. 

[vonisv]

I was thinking about why I prefer to read manga over American comics (as in, monthly serialized comics) and, putting aside opinions about the “quality” of either medium, I think the reason why is because I have absolutely no idea how American comics work.

Say you’re a complete noob to manga. You don’t know shit about it. But that One Piece thing you saw on TV looks really cool and you want to read it. Where do you start? Volume 1 and go from there. 

But imagine the same situation but with comics. You just saw the new Spiderman movie and now you got a craving for more like it. Where do you begin? Well, no one knows because there’s been 901823434^34 different iterations of the character for decades.

With manga, there’s usually one guy (and maybe a team of artists under them to help) working on it. Even if it goes on for years or may switch leads, there’s usually some “consistency” to keep everything in check. With American comics on the other hand, it’s the complete opposite: you have multiple different writers and artists, each contributing their own take on the character: alternate timelines, alternate motifs, etc etc. It’s all a big clusterfuck to me and I have no idea how anyone can keep track of it all.

[opticbread]

i wanna read spiderman, where do i start?

“well, you’ll have to choose one of the major points in the series to start at and then switch between different iterations depending on what kind of tone you’re looking for“

i wanna read jojo, where do i start?

“volume 1“

[alexxdz]

“I want to read X-Men and Wolverine, where do I start?”

[frankpanioncube-writes]

I very much agree. I think it’s kind of the reason that I get so frustrated with the sheer amount and frequency of reboots of franchises. A goofier or a grittier reboot 4-5 years later or something that takes Into consideration shifting technology to modernize the plot is great. But coming off the direct tail end of the last title just because it was successful and not giving any room to digest and move on is what puts people off a series. Especially if the original is well received

[librarysilverfish]

So there’s still a critical difference between a beta read and a critique (I’m not going to get into critiques rn), but I maintain that the best way to do both is to focus on what your personal experience with their work was.

I’m aware this sounds like me advising people to be selfish, and I’m best at explaining by illustrating, so have a story.

Last semester, I went through a round of critiques for a creative writing class–meaning I got nine written critiques and a twenty-five minute critique session from the same group. Overall, it was a great experience… But the thing is, this was an entry-level class. I am not a new writer. I got back seven papers basically saying ‘‘here’s what I liked idk it was all p good” and two saying “I’m :) just not your audience.” They weren’t exactly helpful. It was when we got to the actual verbal critique and we started talking about the piece that suddenly I started seeing massive, staring-right-at-you flaws…. and they weren’t anything my readers would have thought of as flaws. If it hadn’t come up in casual conversation, I never would have realized I’d made a mistake.

See, I asked them during the course of that session if they found my characters interesting or likeable. Mostly it was shrug “nah” or “yeah dude,” but one girl, who really didn’t want to give any negative feedback, said, “it’s not you. Your story was really amazing, but that character just reminded me of my brother, and he’s in jail for a good reason. It’s really just me.”

It wasn’t just her. I shrugged it off at first, because yeah, I’ve disliked characters for purely personal reasons too. It happens. But then I was doing my revision and came across a scene that matched startlingly well with what she’d said–essentially comparing my character to a real-life delinquent. This character was supposed to be trying to be passive through an argument because he doesn’t like unnecessary confrontation and instead he was just straight-up vindictive. And nobody thought that was a mistake. They all just thought my extreme pacifist OC was just supposed to be a horrible person! If this had been published, that’s what my actual viewers would think. I’d be regretting it for years. This, first and foremost, is why writers ask for betas.

So what I need to know from my beta readers isn’t where precisely I need to insert extra descriptions or edit odd dialogue. I need my betas to tell me what they think is happening in the story, what they perceived, what their personal experience was in the goods bads and neutrals. Because seriously, if my betas aren’t seeing things how I want them to, that’s where I need to do the most important work. I can dot my “i”s later.

[the960writers]

This is a good point. I think there’s misunderstandings on both sides about what beta reading is or is supposed to be. There’s readers who only look at spellings and grammar and then there’s others who look at the overall pacing and how the characters feel. And these things clash when both sides go into the reading with different expectations.

A writer, who only wants to have their sentences checked for weirdness, won’t appreciate a beta reader who tells them that one character is boring or acting inconsistent. And the other way around is also frustrating. 

I’ve come to think about the more in depth beta reading rather as a from of editing. Maybe it should be beta editing? I don’t know but there should be a different expression for me reading a story over for structure, character development, and pacing and finding where the core of the story gets lost, instead of looking it over for using “site” instead of “sight”. 

[impossiblelibrary]

Beta reading: Personal experience and perceptions as a reader

Critique: What can you work on, probably from a fellow writer.

Editor/Proofreader: the one nitpicking about words chosen, syntax, pacing.

Mostly all writers are readers, just, when you read a work you’re supposed to be beta reading, put your “reader/first fan” hat on. React to the characters and situations.

When they start asking how you percieved that, maybe that’s when the discussion turns into the effect of certain sentences.

I really liked the discussion on the distinction tho.

[thebibliosphere]

And then there’s us weird creatures, the developmental editors who will shake your manuscript upside down to find whatever comes loose and hasn’t been nailed down, and essentially do what many people think of as beta reading, but aren’t aware of cause they think all editors do is fuss over grammar, or for some weird reason, think beta readers only exist in fandom.

The difference between critiquing and beta is spot on though, the number of times people say they want a critique from me, what they actually mean is they want me to beta read and for me tell them what jumps out at me as a reader, and not y'know just looking for surface flaws.

Or vice versa, they hire me to do a full shakedown of the manuscript and then get defensive when I point out weak spots.

I actually had a client recently who, even though I explained my different services and what I do at each level, for some reason thought the higher tier price for dev work was like, gourmet editing, and the more she paid the less grammar mistakes I’d leave in the manuscript??? It was a strange interaction lol

[frankpanioncube-writes]

Thiiiiis all of this.

[frankpanioncube]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

In which instead of the usual reverse harem with one reader and many AU versions of Sans, the reader’s very straight doppelgängers show up. On the one hand, they all want to bang sans. On the other, why do all the alternates make you feel like the odd one out?

[bookhobbit]

why is “olde vampires in high school” the big thing and not “olde vampires in college”

everyone in college is eccentric. everyone

you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who clearly hasn’t slept in three days supports you

everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you’re polite and follow class etiquette

multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail!

wandering around campus at 3am? that’s just the lifestyle tm

no matter how old or young you look it’s not really that weird, there’s sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere

big schools are very anonymous so nobody’s gonna bother to hassle you

[overelegantstranger]

the girl in pyjamas is the vampire

[themauvesoul]

Also:

If u put ur blood in a water bottle ppl will assume it’s juice and be Jealous

“Oh god I’m a monster” 20 students who r all procrastinating big projects say “same” simultaniousely and with the exact same tone

Everything is a joke so if u say “I subsist on the lifeblood of mankind” someone will go “lol what a mood”

It would take u like 100 years to major in everything

Seen sucking the blood of a fellow classmate and u r instantly the campus Cryptid and Mascot

Listen. If u have an ethical dilemma go find a philosophy major that believes in ethical subjectivism and they’ll make u so angry u forget abt whatever the fuck was bothering u

College is the only acceptable place to get into fistfights over classical literature

Literally all u need to do to avoid suspicion is be the guy that always has gum and a stapler

If u have a majestic mustache ppl will just assume ur an English major

Allergic to crosses? Cool. So r certain stem majors.

[captainlordauditor]

#there literally was a guy who bit someone’s neck at my university #in my last year#everyone was just like ‘CAMPUS CRYPTID’

also everybody is either always eating or never eating so not eating isn’t that weird

[frankpanioncube]

No one will question why the hell you do all your work in the library between the hours of 9 to 4 am on a Friday night if you’re a grad student.

[frankpanioncube-writes]

“That was a good seminar wasn’t it? Good observation there on the Hiromi Goto novel. I actually talk about ‘A Chorus of Mushrooms’ in my latest paper and I touch on exactly that point. You didn’t read it somewhere else did you--?”

Devon Brown let out a sigh of relief he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding as he smiled at the teachers’ assistant for his EN345 seminar. “Uh, no. And thanks.” he paused.  “I’m actually glad you said something, actually. ‘Cause y’know, everyone TOLD me this could happen, I was good in English in highschool and all, right? But it’s only fair that lots of people who were accepted were top of their class”

“Sure.”

“And I know that lots of these people are ALSO really good, but man I just can’t compare to whatsrname? Cori? I mean I’m trying to learn and not be jealous but she seems to know more than every---” Devon cut himself off before he could imply that he didn’t think his instructor was as good as well.

Luckily the teachers’ assistant laughed. “Oh. Yeah, well you’re doing fine Devon. That one I wouldn’t take too personally. They’re just a vampire.”

“Excuse. Me?”

“Vampire.”

“As in ‘I vant to suck…?” Devon was now a hundred percent sure he had not heard correctly.

“Well obviously not the silly accent but more or less. Here. Come this way.”

Still not entirely sure he’d heard correctly, Devon followed the graduate student down a hallway. A few photographs of old students, back when the university had been small enough to take class photos.

“Um, ah. There….annnnnd….” their finger hovered over a picture before jabbing at another face in the crowd. “There.”

The dates read 1931 and 1965 respectively yet both were an obvious photograph of his fellow student, even with the clear attempt to disguise their gender in the earliest photo. This was also in the business building, where Devon’s TA had the room that housed their (evening!) seminar.

“So...they’re a vampire...and they have business degrees? And English degrees? And um, I guess other degrees?”

A nod of confirmation

“Okay, but why not...move on? Become a billionaire? OH! Is it because of the sunlight thing? Stake to the heart being a pretty devastating ‘hostile takeover’?”

“Well...maybe they’re already a billionaire, but I heard that they’ve waived the tuition fee by now since well...the university’s got a real reputation for history and the humanities and stuff right?”

“Mmm. Yeah, that’s why I picked it.” Devon confirmed. “I was hoping to get in here.”

“Yeah well, when the vampire who has lived through all this stuff says it happened that way then it probably has happened that way...and um, you know, the University definitely doesn’t want to piss them off and inadvertently send them off to some other institution. An immortal academic isn’t a customer you want to lose.”

“So you’re saying I should…”

“Oh definitely learn from them.”

“Wow. Geez. This is a lot to take in. But I guess that’s fair. Learn from the people around you, don’t be jealous of them?”

“Something like that, yes. Always a good high road to take.”

Devon nodded sagely along with the affirmation of his new life lesson. “Wait. How did you know all this if no one else do--”

His TA had mysteriously vanished and Devon was suddenly sure that the strange mist in the room was not brought on by the chilly winter temperatures getting inside through a nearby open window.

[unholykrowcollection-deactivate]

I managed to beat down a long bout of depression because I thought the prompt of a self-insert with the multi-timeline people being a bunch of versions of myself who all wanted Sans was funny. I may do more with it later, but it’s something - the first thing I’ve written in months. 

– !!!!!!!!!!