You've seen 'em at Rarig. You've seen 'em at HUGE. You've seen 'em all over at Fringe Central. It's now time to get it out in the open, people...this year's Frot List (frot = Fringe + hot). And don't forget to check out the Fringerati's #frotties on Twitter. Let's do this!
Sara Lahti, Our Freaking Kids Show
If I had a personal assistant like that, I'd never get anything done.
Jane Froiland, Tempests
When I saw this girl on stage, my penis busted out of my pants and did a little tap dance number ala that scene in "Spaceballs".
All Females, Once Upon a Time in the Suburbs
Cowgirls...FUNNY COWGIRLS...
Alexis Jones, Four Clowns
I'd really like to investigate her clown pocket.
Sarah Frazier, Uptown: The Musical
If only more hipsters looked like this...
Dawn Brodey, YARRRH! The Lusty, Busty Pirate Musical
My timbers were definitely shivered.
Rob Callahan, Callahan and Lingo presents: The Last Ditch
We got so many write-in votes for this guy, I just had to put him on the list. FROT!
Ariana Venturi, Sousepaw
Dear Lizard Girl, I have whiskey AND cash. Please love me.
Katherine Moeller, Indignorance
I didn't even see her show and she still made my list. That's how frot she is.
Brigid Kelley, Tempests
I'll admit I had as much of a hard-on for Carrie Henn as a ten-year-old boy could have. Thank you, Brigid Kelley, for making my childhood fantasy legal.
Sara Jensen, Damn You Auto Caress
Seeing her makes me want to furiously masturbate.
*furiously masturbate
*furiously masturbate
*WATER MY PLANTS! DAMN YOU AUTOCARESS!
Lisa Berg, House Manager
Gentlemen, put on your waders and grab your Acqua Di Gio: it's Cougar season.
The Girl in the Ice Cream Truck Outside Rarig
You smile at me and sell me something sweet to suck on. I love you.
Rebecca Ogren, Once Upon a CSI
I firmly believe that Rebecca Ogren is the frottest girl in Fringeland this year.
Derek Lee Miller, Red Resurrected
Is it fucked up that I didn’t give him a second glance in Ballad of the Pale Fisherman, and then as soon as he plays a creepy molester I’m all over it? Based on the way he wields an imaginary axe, I’m guessing he’s pretty good with his hands.
Sam Pearson, The Day the Nineties Died
I have no idea if he’s as mouthy in real life as his character is on stage, and I’m never going to find out because I’m pretty sure he isn’t old enough to hang out at moto-i, which makes me a total pervert. But watching Sam tirelessly rattle off radical left-wing ideological made me want to know what it would take to make the torrent of words stop.
Darius Dotch, Tales of the Twisted Cities
Even through a winter coat you can make out Darius’s chiseled torso and perfect biceps. I’d get lost with him at St. Anthony-Main any time.
Jaimi Paige, Green Eyes
I don’t know if I’m bi-curious or just jealous, but goddamn that girl has got it.
Bruce DeMorrow, Tapsized
Bruce participated in one of the most homo-erotic-tap-dancing-shower situations I have ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot of those. He tapped into my heart and my pants.
James Rone, Deadline: A Choose Your Own Adventure Story
James is one of those nerd frotties that I love so very much. I would always choose the adventure that ends with him waking up to a few regrets and an unexplained pain in his rear.
Kevin J Thornton, I Love You (We’re F*#cked
This man is just plain frot. I want him to Love me, and...well, you know.
Billy Borea, The Folly of Crowds
I’m usually not into guys like Billy, but for some reason I wanted to run my hands across every muscle this dude had to offer. Every. Single. Muscle.
Tim Lee, Scientist Turned Comedian
If this guy was my science teacher, I would constantly have to hold my books in front of my boy parts.
Jordan Roll, Balls Out
I almost took my balls out during the show. But I didn’t want the audience to hear when my junk hit the floor. Amirite?
Nic Lincoln, FLESH
As I mentioned previously: Ho. Ly. Shit.
Bob Galligan, Detached: The Return of the Pastor Brothers
I am unable to explain this, yet it is somehow very real. I am filled with shame.
Adelin Phelps, Red Resurrected
She can pull back my red hood any time she wants.
Jenny Moeller, Venue Technician
This is my kind of girl: cute, funny, and curvy in all the right places. Totally frot.
Laura Baller Mahler, Delores Grimm
Why are mermaids so freaking frot?
Madelyne Riley, Nightmare Man
My only nightmare about her would involve a broken corkscrew and a stuck zipper.
Abby Zimmer, Front of House Coordinator
She can coordinate my front of house any day. And by "front of house" I of course mean my vagina.
Dawn Krosnowski, Macbeth: the Video Game Remix
Redheads are my kryptonite (if you haven't noticed). Also, cosplay!