I saw this old Barnabas and Julia fanfiction on another site and I just had to save it. It’s one of my favorites.
Fall Challenge 2002 by Dawn Dillingham
Setting: Collinsport, September 1971
The fall skies over Collinsport, Maine were clear and crisp as Barnabas Collins stepped into the foyer of the great manor of Collinwood. As he removed his cape and hung it at the door voices carried from the drawing room. With a smile on his face he moved toward the sounds of Julia Hoffman and Carolyn Stoddard but abruptly halted before entering when he discovered the topic of their conversation.
"Julia, you seem quite smitten with this new gentleman friend of yours. Tell me, is it getting serious?"
"I must admit that John is a wonderful man, Carolyn. He treats me like no man has in a very long time. Who wouldn’t want more of that type of treatment? I could easily allow myself to become more serious about him if conditions warranted. John is extremely well educated, articulate, athletic, and totally endearing man. He is, as you pointed out, a true gentleman who knows how to treat a woman with tenderness and affection."
"So, where are you and Mr. Wonderful off to tonight?" the young blonde teased.
Julia good-naturedly smiled at her young friend and responded with pleasure evident in her voice. "John is taking me to that Greek restaurant, Linardos, on the edge of town."
"Oh, Julia, that place is marvelous. You’ll enjoy the food, but the atmosphere, so dark and cozy, all I can say is watch yourself! A woman could lose her heart to a man in that place!"
Julia chucked. "It would not be the first time I’ve encountered that scenario my friend."
Carolyn’s melodious laughter and Julia’s lighthearted comment caused Barnabas to feel anything but happy. The thought of Julia and her new friend at an intimate restaurant caused him to feel surprising uneasy. He had known Julia was, on occasion, seeing an engineer from a nearby plant. She had met him after a relative had been admitted to Wyndcliffe with a nervous breakdown. Until now, he had given it little thought. True, she had been a bit less available to him recently but he had thought it due to her work at Wyndcliffe. In light of this overheard conversation he reconsidered his conclusions. It would seem that Julia had found someone else with which to spend her time and it did not settle well with him. He couldn’t quite figure out why he felt so ill at ease. It wasn’t like he had any spoken claim on Julia Hoffman or that he had professed some undying love for the family’s doctor in residence. Still, he could not stifle the overwhelming unrest and sense of loss. Seeking to avoid the uncomfortable emotions, Barnabas stepped into the drawing room.
"Good morning Ladies. How are you this morning?" Barnabas greeted in his most pleasant tone.
"Good morning Cousin Barnabas, would you care for a cup of coffee?" Carolyn’s bright smile and chipper disposition was heartwarming as he accepted the offered cup.
Thanking her, Barnabas turned to Julia and took a seat in the chair opposite her. "I hope I was not interrupting an important conversation. You both seemed so animated when I came in." Barnabas was fishing for information, even if he did not realize it.
"Not at all," replied Julia as she studied the remaining coffee in her cup. "We were merely discussing restaurants in the area." For a brief instant, Julia wondered just how much Barnabas had heard of their discussions. Quickly, Julia changed the course of conversation and averted her eyes from the piercing gaze of Mr. Collins. She felt uneasy after the weeks spent in the company of John Turner. Barnabas had no idea of the amount of time she had shared with the handsome engineer and preferred to keep it that way. She had resolved to reclaim her life. This was a beginning.
The conversation lingered for some time and Julia sensed Barnabas watching her intently on occasion. She would love to know what he was thinking. She imagined that he was rather confused by her absences of late. Well, after years of togetherness, what did she expect? Still, his inability to see what was clearly before him had caused her immeasurable pain and it was time to follow her own professional advice. This was the first step in reclaiming Julia Hoffman. She had not been avoiding him but merely placing more distance between them. If he wanted to remain ‘just friends’ she would treat him accordingly. Julia had been uncertain she could accomplish the feat of pushing him and his daily needs into the background and was self-congratulatory to find herself succeeding at the task. The diversion of John Turner was definitely helping that along. A gentle smile teased her lips at the thought.
Barnabas noticed the distance that existed between he and Julia. The air was not exactly icy, but it also did not harbor the warmth he associated with time spent with Julia. She did not seem as conversational and her eyes had lost some of the glimmer he normally saw when they were together. At times, it seemed she was miles away and then a secretive half-smile would light her face. He began to wonder if that expression could be attributed to her new male friend. Maybe it was time to find out for himself.
Carolyn excused herself to locate David for a promised shopping trip and Julia retreated to the study with a medical journal. On any other occasion in the past, she would have remained to spend time in his company. It seemed to be another sign that a chasm was developing between his long time friend and himself. The disquiet that seemed to gnaw at Barnabas escalated. He had long known of Julia’s affections toward him. That fact that she loved him was obvious even to him. Yet, he had always maintained a boundary. Now he questioned his judgment. Julia Hoffman had grown very dear to the ex-vampire and the prospect of her leaving his life caused him to chill. His panic grew as several scenarios raced through his head. No, he would not lose the comfort offered by Julia’s company. In some way, he needed to protect what had been hard-fought between them.
Stepping into the foyer, Barnabas lifted the phone from its cradle and began to dial. This mystery man may have won a couple of battles, but Collins was determined to win the war. He was determined to retain what was rightfully his. Though he did not recognize it, Barnabas was succumbing to the green-eyed monster of jealousy.
That evening, Julia Hoffman found herself seated in a semi-darkened corner booth of Linardos Greek restaurant in the company of John Turner. She quietly appraised the handsome engineer over the rim of her white wine. He was a distinguished man for certain. At age fifty, his dark hair was lightly gray at the temples and the deeply tanned lines of his face spoke of a life spent in outdoor recreational pursuits. The athletic build beneath his suit jacket confirmed that notion. She smiled shyly when his clear blue eyes caught her staring at him. Julia would have averted her gaze had his hand not settled gently over hers and given it a squeeze. Then, he leaned in to place a soft kiss on her cheek. Julia’s smile widened as she engaged in conversation with her date.
Another set of eyes observed the scene with growing distaste. Barnabas Collins, in the company of a young woman in the employ of Collins Industries, was seated across the dining room. Although out of earshot, they were close enough to see the other couple in the dimly lit room. The soft glow of the candles on the tables of the romantic venue cast the couples is a gentle light. Barnabas frowned as John placed his arm around Julia and drew her nearer. In response, Julia rested her head on the other man’s shoulder. Collins seemed to grow more agitated with each new intimacy between the pair. The prattle from his young date did nothing to alleviate this distress as he was forced to pay a measure of attention in her direction.
The waiter was speaking to John a few minutes later as Barnabas watched him lean in and lightly pat Julia’s thigh to get her attention. The hand did not move from the spot, nor did Julia make any attempt to discourage the advance after answering the waiter’s question. Barnabas attended to his own ordering and then turned his eyes back across the room. By now, Turner’s hand was back on the table, but Julia had turned in her seat and her gaze was riveted on the other man. As they spoke, Barnabas watched as Julia’s right hand now rested on John’s thigh and her left hand softly caressed the back of the hand nearest her on the table.
Although he knew it was Julia’s nature to reach out and touch those she was fond of in a gesture of concern or compassion; Barnabas could not imagine Julia being so openly intimate with a man she hardly knew, much less in a public arena. Frankly, he could simply not imagine her being intimate with a man in any manner. It was a concept he had refused to explore despite recent disturbing dreams to the contrary. Somehow, it seemed disrespectful to even consider his friend in such a manner.
Julia had always been a staid, reasonable, professional woman with no need for physical passions in his compartmentalized mind. Barnabas had reasoned that Julia’s career was foremost in her life, hence love and therefore sexual desire would always take a back seat. After all, she was a career woman in her mid-forties and had never married. A woman as attractive and intelligent as Julia certainly would have had her share of male attentions throughout the years, but she had obviously forgone those advances in favor of her medical career.
This had been his logic, even though he knew in his heart, that Julia loved him with a passion that he found frightening. Still, she had never approached the issue outright. He could still not comprehend that someone could have loved him so unconditionally in those dark days of his past. Even now, he did not feel deserving. With great pain, it dawned on him that obviously Julia must now feel that way too.
Dinner was a torturous affair for Barnabas. His date was giddy and frivolous, talking nonstop in her nervousness. He tired quickly of her nonsense, but maintained his air of charm despite himself. Somehow, he managed to endure the double onslaught of her chatter and the disturbing images present across the room. The shared looks, the gentle touches, the intimate discussion all tore at Barnabas’ heart and increased his irritation. These were all things that he had shared with Julia and had never before recognized their significance.
Barnabas replayed visions of Julia conveying her thoughts to him through her eyes, the comforting, fleeting touch of her hand, and the nights spent in simple conversation before the fire. These had been her simple expressions of love for him in a time when he could not accept such from her. They had been constant throughout their travels through time and space as they stood two against the terrors of the supernatural. She had stoically maintained that connection with him and he now realized the impetus, LOVE.
Barnabas glimpsed Julia leaving the booth, caught the affectionate lingering of the other man’s hand on Julia’s lower back as she moved from her seat, and watched as she moved into the hallway, presumably to the ladies’ room. He also caught the amorous gaze of her date as his eyes traveled up her legs and backside as she walked away.
Although he felt the look to be lewd, Barnabas could not tear his own eyes from the vision either as she left the room. Why had he never noticed how trim and attractive the woman really was? Perhaps it was the fact that she was dressed in an alluring black dress and heels and not encased in one of her tweed suits. No, he had seen her in many manner of garb throughout the centuries and realms of travel and yet nothing had ever stirred him as much as that simple dress.
With a sudden dawning, Barnabas realized how often he had failed to actually really see Julia Hoffman. For many years he had kept her tightly encased in a preconceived box and only now had she escaped from that captivity. She had escaped and was now obviously enthralled by someone else. Had his years of negligence to the woman and her emotional needs led them to this juncture? Had Julia moved on in her life seeking what he had been unwilling to concede silently existed between them?
Determined to correct this injustice, he shoved down the hurt and reestablished his prideful veneer. He would not have her know how much the rejection tore at his soul when he next spoke with her. Quietly, he accepted and paid their bill as his date excused herself to the powder room. He barely acknowledged her exit let alone considered watching her leave.
Meeting Julia in the hallway outside of the restroom was not something Barnabas had anticipated. He would have preferred that she never know of his presence at the restaurant on this particular evening.
"Barnabas," she gasped as she nearly collided with the caped figure.
"Barnabas Collins, whatever are you doing here?" Julia was a little confused by his presence.
"Dining, of course, dear Julia. I had a date with a young lady of my acquaintance. I’ve heard many complimentary things about this establishment. I’m happy to report that I was not misled."
Julia was not at all taken in by his suave demeanor. She had spied him across the room shortly after they had taken their seats for dinner. He had avidly watched their every move and at times she thought he appeared flustered. Could it be that he was actually, on some level, jealous? Well, served him right for all the years she had been subjected to his dalliances with his bevy of eternal loves. He had known what she felt for him even if it had never been conveyed in so many words.
As if considering themselves engrossed in small talk, Julia pressed on as she prepared to don her gloves. "So, who told you about this place?"
"I believe it was Carolyn."
The import hit her like a ton of bricks. He had heard her conversation with Carolyn this morning just as she had suspected. He had heard all of it. This was not some chance meeting but a preconceived encounter on his part. Her temper flared with the realization.
"Carolyn? I don’t suppose that, by some chance, you came to this information by way of my conversation with Carolyn this morning? Come now Barnabas, I know you were in the foyer. You could not possibly have escaped hearing some portion of our discussion."
"I admit that I heard the restaurant mentioned."
"Then you can just admit that you heard that John and I were going to be here and that curiosity got the better of you. I was there Barnabas and I know that the only time the restaurant was mentioned was when I told Carolyn that John was bringing me here."
Her intense glare caused Barnabas to falter for just a moment.
Choosing to ignore the bait, Barnabas changed his tack. "Well, it has certainly lived up to its reputation and the evening has been most enlightening."
"Excuse me… enlightening? In what way?" Julia was totally confused but only for a moment.
"Well, let’s just say that I never expected to witness such open displays of affection between you and your escort, Julia. A woman in your position of authority and respect within the community would be well advised to maintain a modicum of control over raging libidos. People will begin to talk and suppose you to be a loose woman. You know how these small town gossips can be."
"How dare you!" she seethed. Everything became extremely clear in the next seconds. Her eyes lit with fire and realization. "You were spying on me! You came here with the express purpose of….of…." The anger boiled in Julia’s blood as she raised her voice. "You spend years treating me like a sister and then on a whim turn around and play private investigator like I was some unfaithful wife!" Truly, she had not been this angry since the day she had slapped Angelique. It threatened at every pore.
"Julia, calm down, you’re making a scene." His move to take her arm and steer her aside was a big mistake. His touch took her over the edge as she jerked her arm away. Years of rejection and bottled emotions erupted.
"Unhand me you voyeuristic letch!" He did not see the streak of her palm until the last second when it contacted his face. The sting of the blow and the resounding clap in his ear was followed by moments of deafening silence as he straightened and attempted to gain his composure. He found himself gazing into the shocked expression of his young date.
Julia squared her shoulders and glared at Barnabas. The sting in her fingers and the ache in her forearm did nothing to soothe the pain in her soul as she caught sight of the lovely young woman. She was now even more deeply hurt by his inference and behavior. He could traipse around Collinsport with a host of women who appeared to be half his age and yet, let a gentlemen take her out on a date, show her his affections, and she was suddenly a scandalous woman.
"I suggest you concern yourself with your own affairs, Mr. Collins, and worry less about mine." With that, she abruptly turned on her heels and left to meet her date at the door.
John Turner stood at the entrance to the restaurant and could clearly view the interior and the events playing out down the hallway. He had been ready to intercept the pair when he saw Julia advance toward him. Her stride told him she was extremely upset by the past few moments.
"What was that all about Julia? Was that man harassing you?" John was obviously concerned about the scene he had just witnessed as he drew Julia closer to him and turned back to view the bewildered man she’d left behind.
"I can handle him, John. Please, don’t ask about him or the argument. I don’t want this to spoil the evening." Turner gave one last look at the unusual man in the hallway and then turned to look into the lovely eyes of his date. There was a sadness and a pain he did not recognize in Julia’s face.
"Are you sure?" At her reassuring nod, he opened the door into the night air.
As they stood next to his car with his hand on the latch, John stopped and with practiced ease, drew Julia to him. His arms easily found their way around her waistline as her hands slid slowly up his biceps. His lips gently, yet hungrily, sought hers and Julia responded in kind. She accepted the advances of his hands and mouth, fully knowing that on this night she was rebelling against the hurt in her heart. Perhaps in John Turner she had found the drug that would deaden the years of pain.
Barnabas watched the scene from the confines of his car in the moonlit lot as his date prattled on. Julia had her back to him and he observed as Turner’s hand slowly caressed the flare of Julia’s hip as his other moved between them. He could only speculate at what tender flesh the man was encountering. Barnabas was ready to explode when he saw Julia raise her arms around the other man’s neck, press her body closer, and begin to trail kisses along his jaw.
Even in his confused anger, Barnabas was enthralled by the display of passion demonstrated by Julia Hoffman. Not for the first time this evening, he considered that he may not have always had a clear, realistic picture of his best friend. The Julia of his mind was a cool, reserved intellectual with not need for baser carnal pleasures. Yet, this evening had proven that insight to be extremely erroneous. No, the woman he now saw was far from repressed or prudish and the images spoke of a woman of great affections, needs, and passions.
Drawn from his reverie by the dimwitted girl in his company, Barnabas was surprised when he turned back a minute later to see the car leaving the lot. Cursing beneath his breath he realized it would be a long drive to dispose of this evening’s baggage. He could not imagine why he had even considered asking this little twit to accompany him this evening. It painfully made him realize that he was not in the company of the woman he most cared for and admired.
Julia Hoffman did not return to the great Collins estate that night, much to the consternation of one Barnabas Collins. His mind would not let go of the possibilities for what may have transpired with Julia’s departure from the restaurant. He stood in the drawing room of the great manor late the next afternoon lost in his contemplation. Was it possible that Julia had gone home with the handsome man in her company last night? As hard as it was for him to consider, it was the only thing he could imagine. Images of his own erotic dreams involving Julia from the prior night plagued him equally. He had never indulged his thoughts of Julia in this manner and now it seemed to be all he could focus on.
"You’re lost in some deep concentration Cousin," came the resounding voice of Quentin Collins as he entered the room. "Care for a brandy while you mull over your thoughts?"
"Thank you Quentin, I believe I will." He watched as the amber liquid was poured and Quentin turned to hand him the snifter.
"So, what seems to have you so preoccupied? It couldn’t have anything to do with a certain auburn-haired physician and your little escapade at Linardos last night, would it? I must say, you were a marvelous floorshow Barnabas." The evil glint in Quentin’s eye was not lost on Barnabas.
"What do you know of last night? Have you spoken to Julia today?" He warily queried his cousin in hopes that Quentin may have some knowledge of Julia’s whereabouts.
"On the contrary, dear Cousin. I have not spoken with the lady in question. I know of your ‘palm reading’ last night because I happened to be dining there at the time. I dare say, Julia must had been absolutely furious with you to have taken her actions to such a level." He took a long drink of the brandy before he continued. "Not that you haven’t had it coming for some time, mind you. What gets me is… what took Julia so long to finally get around to it? You must have been a proverbial ass to warrant that slap."
"Oh, please, Barnabas. Stop acting so offended. You know as well as I do that you have not always treated Julia in a manner in which your mother would have approved. The truth be known, she would probably be appalled by some of your actions as well as the emotional abuse you’ve subjected that poor woman to."
Barnabas remained uncharacteristically silent as he absorbed Quentin’s words. It was true that he had not always treated Julia well. He had indeed been taught far better manners with a lady. And, to complicate matters, he was now dealing with an independent woman of the twentieth century and not a docile woman of his own era who expected to be treated as a subservient. No, woman of this time seemed to enjoy the romance but expected a far different treatment from the men in their lives. Barnabas realized that he had failed to treat Julia accordingly. He had unwittingly treated her as a possession and not as an equal. He had violated the principle that defined their long-standing relationship: trust. Now, he wondered if he would ever be able to make amends.
"It is beyond me how a woman of Julia’s intellect could have put up with your atrocities for this long," Quentin began. "Do you realize what that woman has sacrificed for your sorry hide? She has put her career and her hospital on the back burner to every whim that you’ve had come along in an effort to support and protect you. Julia has adopted this family as her own for whatever her personal reasons. She has traveled exorbitant numbers of miles between Wyndcliffe and here just to remain, I presume, close to the family or more appropriately, you. That has certainly taken its toll on her physically and mentally. It can’t be easy worrying about this place when she’s at the sanitarium and vise versa."
Quentin paused to gauge the impact of his comments. Seeing the desired affect portrayed on Barnabas’ face, he pressed on.
"It has been quite obvious to the eyes of this family and the entire populace of Collinsport just how much Julia loves you for some time now. Well, it’s been obvious to apparently all but you. You seem totally oblivious to the impact she’s had on your life. You’ve treated her abominably Cousin. Love needs to be nourished in order to survive. How long did you think she would stand idly by and submit to your mistreatment and neglect? Just how many young women have you strutted around with parading under Julia’s nose? I’d place my bet on a half dozen or so. Do you have any clue how much that rejection had to hurt her? I’d venture to say it was like a stake through the heart every single time."
Barnabas cringed at Quentin’s reference to his former state of being and to the harsh words of truth. He could still remember the reverberating scream of the vampire Tom Jennings as he drove the stake into the immobilized body. Just as the vampire had been destroyed so had a piece of Julia each time he had succumbed to a nubile young woman. The realization caused a painful constriction in his chest and his breathing became labored. The sorrow was almost more than he could bear. Quentin observed his cousin with great pleasure, knowing that his words were striking home.
"While I’m on a roll here, I probably should point out something in your defense Barnabas. There have been several opportunities for you to show Julia how much you care for her and what lengths you would go to in order to protect her." Barnabas brightened slightly before Quentin struck the next blow. "Unfortunately, most of those were situation of your making. Then, you never followed through and allowed yourself to experience the ‘why’ of your actions. You have been so afraid of your emotions for a modern, self-sufficient, professional woman who is far superior to you in intelligence and compassion that you have constantly run away. It’s sad because you’ve been running away from the very thing you seek most."
"And what would that be Quentin?" Barnabas knew the answer before he asked the question.
"The love of and for a good woman. I’m not talking some vague emotion, Barnabas. I mean the tangible love of actions that stands the test of time and trials. It is what nearly all men and women want. You’ve wanted a normal life and to have your home and life restored. You have that now and I think you know whom you have to thank for it. You’ve spent the last few years searching for a woman to share it all with once you were free of your demons. The trouble is, you’ve been looking in all the wrong places. She’s been right in front of you all along. Face it, you love Julia and you’re lost without her. You’ve never realized that the need you have for her in your life stems from love. It’s not just her love for you, but your love for her that needs to be openly acknowledged."
The expression of sadness on Barnabas’ face as Quentin spoke aloud that which he knew to be the truth was painful to see. The younger man sensed that he had really struck a chord in Barnabas’ heart. Uncertain, though, if his cousin would act on the newfound knowledge, Quentin decided to drive the last nail into the coffin.
"You know, Barnabas, Julia is a damn fine woman. If I thought I could turn her head, I’d go after her myself." Quentin broke into raucous laughter and then downed the remains of his brandy at the horrified, astonished look on Barnabas’ face.
Julia stepped into the drawing room a few minutes later, just as Barnabas had regained his composure. "Whoever is pouring, I’ll take one of those," she said indicating the glass in Quentin’s hand. Avoiding both sets of eyes, Julia took a seat on the divan and reclined her head with her eyes closed.
Barnabas hovered near the fireplace as moments later; Quentin handed the heavily laden snifter to Julia with a smile and took a seat across from her. "You look tired, Julia. Long night?" Quentin was fairly certain that Julia had been unaware of his presence at the restaurant the prior evening. He had also witnessed her amorous attentions with a handsome stranger and knew that his cousin was troubled by the events. This was too good of an opportunity to let pass by. From the corner of his eye he watched Barnabas squirm.
"Yes it was Quentin. I went out to dinner with a dear friend last night and then pulled the night shift for Dr. Andras. Then, there was a shortage on the day shift that took four more hours of my time. I was so tired that I collapsed for a couple of hours at my apartment before returning. Thankfully, I’m not needed at the hospital tonight. I could use a quiet uneventful evening." She cast a warning glare at Barnabas. "All I want right now is good food and a solid night’s sleep."
Quentin felt the iciness of the room and the tensions between Barnabas and Julia. He decided that now might be time to retreat and allow the chips to fall where they may. Hopefully, his cousin would survive the holocaust that was certainly brewing. He could tell from Julia’s posture and the set of her jaw that she was still fuming over the events of the prior evening. The ringing telephone was the perfect opportunity to excuse himself. He closed the doors behind him as he moved to the foyer telephone.
After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Barnabas seized the opportunity to speak first. He did not look at her, but instead watched the brandy as it twirled in his glass. "Julia, I would like to apologize for my actions last evening."
"Oh?" It was the only concession a still angry Julia Hoffman would allow. This had better be a good one, she thought to herself, as she took a stiff shot of her own drink.
Turning to look her squarely in the eyes, he began in earnest. "Yes, I was terribly out of line with my comments and in my actions. You were right; I was there to observe the man that has captured your attentions of late. I had no right to do that and I’m sorry. I would also like to be able to retract the ‘raging libido’ comment, but I can not. So, please, accept my earnest apology for that as well. I was totally out of line in my behavior. You behaved as the respectable lady that you have always been. There was no impropriety except on my part. I really don’t know what made me say those dreadful things to you. Please forgive me."
Julia pondered his honest admission and stared in wonderment. She had never believed him capable of such open repentance and sincerity. He was downright contrite. The expression in his dark eyes told her things his words could not convey. The moments drug by before Julia responded. Barnabas held his breath.
"As furious as I was last night, I can’t believe that I’m saying this, but, apology accepted Barnabas. I suspect that the threat to the comforts of the world you have grown to know caused you to react in such a way." The gentle smile of compassion covered her face.
"I suspect you may be right Julia." His own relieved smile crept across his features. Julia could not know how accurate her assessment had been. "Would you consider having an early dinner with me in town to support my apology?"
"That’s not necessary Barnabas."
"Please, Julia. You said you wanted good food and I’m afraid this is the last place you will be apt to find it." The veiled reference to Sarah Johnson’s mediocre fare caused Julia to smile slightly. She had miraculously gone from angry to accepting in mere moments. This man could certainly weave a spell over any woman and Julia sadly knew she would never be immune to his charms.
"All right then, dinner it is." Julia was rather surprised when he offered his hand to assist her rise from the sofa. She was even more amazed at the affectionate look in his eyes as their gaze locked for an instant. In that moment, she wondered if she would ever be fully free of his intoxicating influence.
From the open door to the study, Quentin observed as the couple prepared to depart. "Don’t miss this chance, Barnabas," he muttered, lifting his glass. "It may be your last if you are not careful."
Dinner that evening had reaffirmed the long-standing relationship between Barnabas Collins and Julia Hoffman. Ever the psychiatrist, Julia had surmised that the outlandish behavior and unfortunate incident at the restaurant had stemmed from Barnabas’ insecurities and his long-established dependence upon her. His repeated apology further lessened the anger and hurt she had experienced and reminded her again how impossible it was for her to remain angry with him for too long. As much as she had fought against it, she simply could not deny the deep love she had for this man. But, she silently reaffirmed her convictions to attempt to resume a life of her own making and not one dominated by Barnabas alone.
The ensuing weeks rapidly revealed a new social life for Dr. Julia Hoffman and initially it was exhilarating. If John was not calling her for a date she was out with Barnabas. Each man seemed to have escalated his efforts to capture her time and attentions. Even Quentin and Willie had gotten into the act. Quentin had asked Julia to join him for drinks at the Blue Whale one evening, right under Barnabas’ nose. The thought of tightening the noose around his cousin’s elegant neck was priceless. Secretly, he felt Julia had gone too easy on the elder Collins. Conspiring with Quentin to make Barnabas sweat a bit, Willie had even taken Julia to a movie. Although the ploy had its desired affects, it also desperately taxed the reserves of the already overwrought and overworked physician. By month’s end she had grown weary of the battle.
Long days of work and equally occupied evenings had left Julia Hoffman with little free time for herself or her thoughts. Only at night when she collapsed into bed was she able to try to sort her troubled feelings. These sessions were often long, complicated, and left unresolved to create the added feature of sleep deprivation stress to the weary woman. The fatigue became overwhelming. After one particularly harrowing day, she resolved to garner some quiet time alone and simply disappeared. Wyndcliffe did not disclose any information other than the fact that she had taken a few vacation days.
A few sleepless nights passed for Barnabas with Julia’s absence. The time was, however, well spent as he thoroughly contemplated what he would do the next time he saw her. One night, again unable to sleep, Barnabas decided on a mid-night stroll. His meandering led him toward Widows’ Hill where, from a distance, he spied the form that could only be Julia. From his vantage spot, he watched her deliberate pacing. He watched the now familiar habit as her hand gathered her lightweight sweater closed at the neck with a clenched fist. Her other hand rested across her midsection. It was a common gesture seen during times of stress or fear. Slowly he advanced in her direction and watched as she took a seat on a large rock outcropping.
"Julia?" he ventured when he was near enough. Her head turned and a surprised half-smile crossed her face.
"My but you’re out at a strange hour, Barnabas. Is this late or early for you?" There was a strange expression to her voice. He almost felt she was teasing him.
A chuckled preceded his reply. "You’ve lived among us long enough, Julia, to know that none of the Collinses have any regard for the parameter of time. One hour is much like the next. But, in my case, it is quite late." Both smiled. "Would you care to walk with me?"
Julia rose and took his outstretched hand and then linked her arm into his. They were quiet for some time, each enjoying the solid comfort of the other.
"You have been gone for several days now, Julia. I’ve been troubled by your absence. Is there anything wrong?" The gentleness of his concern touched the battered soul of the woman at his side. There was a long silence. "Julia?" Turning toward her, Barnabas tried to capture her gaze as his hands caressed her upper arms. Reluctantly, she fleetingly looked at him and tried to turn away but to no avail. "We have always been able to talk to each other Julia. Please, whatever is troubling you, perhaps discussing it will lessen the burden."
Julia looked at him with what could only be considered a haunted gaze. She knew he was right. It was the advice she would give to one of her own patients. Still, certain discussions had always been taboo between them. What she had to say could hurt Barnabas and that was the last thing she wanted to do.
"Barnabas, I needed to get away for a while and try to create some semblance of order to the chaos that has become my life. So many things have happened over the past few weeks and the affects have left me confused and frustrated. I had hoped to sort out my thoughts and feelings and find some measure of inner peace."
"It sounds as though you feel you have failed."
"I have. I’m no closer to understanding this cobweb of emotions or the inner conflicts than I was a few days ago." She chuckled to lighten the mood. "You know, if word of this ever got out, I’d be ruined as a psychiatrist. You’re sworn to secrecy, Mr. Collins."
Barnabas recognized the underlying pain that she tried to camouflage with humor.
"Tell me what has you so troubled." He tightened the hold on her arm as he steered her along the path toward Collinwood.
"Several thing have me distressed, Barnabas. Not the least of these is all the attention I’ve had from you and John. I’ve enjoyed the evenings; I’m flattered. But, it seems like I’ve become the prized doe between two raging bucks. To the victor go the spoils of the war. Frankly, I’m tired of being in the middle of your alpha male tug of war."
"I’m sorry you’ve been made to feel that way, Julia. I can see how it could appear that we are each vying for your affections."
"Affections…good choice of words, Barnabas. That’s something else that has me puzzled. I’m confused by your total about face where it applies to me. For five years you have never shown one shred of romantic interest in me and continually profess that we can be no more than friends. Now, things are vastly different. You start, for lack of a better word, courting me after another man seems poised to whisk me away. Five years of famine and now this. Well, I hope you can accept what I’m about to say." Julia bit her lip and looked at him with an uncomfortable expression. "Barnabas, I have to doubt your sincerity. As much as I want to believe that your heart is behind your actions, I find it very difficult."
Barnabas remained silent as he guided Julia toward a terrace seat at Collinwood. The lights from the drawing room cast a soft glow onto the porch yet left the gardens in shadows. Julia took a seat on the cement bench and waited as Barnabas turned slowly away from her. Inside, Barnabas felt his own emotions as a leaden brick in his stomach. The sadness seemed to close in like a fog.
He wasn’t really sure what he had expected in the past month with Julia. He had wanted to explore the suppressed feelings that he had been harboring and were now far more prevalent before declaring himself to Julia. He had to be sure of himself before breaching that imaginary boundary that lay between them. During that time, he had hoped she would merely come to accept that his feelings had indeed changed. Now, he realized that his continued silence in regard to their relationship had done nothing but increase her doubts. Whoever had said that actions speak louder than words was incorrect in this instance. The words were necessary to clear the air. She deserved to hear what he thought.
"Julia, you needn’t doubt my sincerity an longer, even though I know that you have every reason to hold me suspect due to my years of blatant stupidity. While it is true that Mr. Turner’s open affections and attentions were threatening to me, his actions were merely the catalyst for my own response. Julia, the thought of losing you to another man was eye-opening and not because of mere friendship." He quietly turned toward her and watched the cautious look on her face. "I had hoped you would see that through my actions. Now I see that is not the case."
Julia was uncomfortable with the anguish she saw on his face but would not permit herself to console him. This was something he had to work out for himself. She rose and slowly walked toward the steps to the raised terrace.
"Your actions have often led me to believe one thing only to painfully discover that I was in error. I won’t be misled again, Barnabas." Her voice was soft and anguished as her memories plagued her. The wounds from his professions of love to Angelique in 1840 on the heels of his emotional response to reclaiming Julia from Roxanne’s attacks were still vivid in the woman’s mind. She had seen the love and devotion in those dark eyes when he had rescued her only to have him grieving over that witch’s death a few days later and declaring her his eternal love. That incident above all others had made trust in her emotions a difficult task. She had been unaware of his approach until she felt his hands come to rest on her upper arms.
"Julia, there is much I have said and done over the years that has been painful for you and I regret the insensitivity of my actions. There are an equal number of things I should have voiced but chose not to. It is my inaction and my silence which has been most damaging. Only recently has it been made clear to me how horribly I have treated you at times and how unfeeling I have been with regard to you. I desperately want to rectify this, Julia."
He felt the slight tremor and the barely perceivable downcast of her head. Turning Julia slowly toward him, Barnabas gazed deeply into the questioning green eyes. The doubts clearly remained.
"Julia, in all of my years, I have not known what love truly entailed. Over the past few weeks I have examined this thoroughly. My engagement to Josette was arranged for the good of both families. I was enthralled by her beauty, immediately drawn to her, and feel that love would have bloomed effortlessly between us. However, I will never know what it would have been like to build a life with her and allow love to grow as it was intended. Angelique was an attraction of a purely erotic nature. My marriage to her was never based on love. In thinking of the other women who have garnered my attentions I see that I was trying to capture and recreate my adolescent perceptions of love."
Barnabas lightly ran his hand along Julia’s cheek before continuing. "Not until I met you did I know what it was like to allow love to grow between two people; to find your way to someone through attraction, friendship, trust, devotion, and a life of shared experiences." Suddenly, the years of pain and fear that had defined Barnabas’ life were no longer important. All of that had been erased by the love this woman had offered for so long. His finger wiped away the tears that threatened at the corner of her closed eyes.
Cautiously, Julia opened her eyes and looked into the dark brown orbs that never ceased to make her pulse race. "Barnabas, what are you saying?" It was almost impossible to believe.
His dark eyes twinkled as a smile played across his lips and he drew her closer.
"Julia, your analogy to being the prized doe was quite accurate. I can clearly see now what a prize you are and I love you. Let me show you how an eighteenth century romantic can treat the woman he loves."
With gentleness and tenderness Julia had rarely seen, Barnabas lowered his lips to hers. Barnabas had never ventured more than a kiss on the hand or the cheek in the past month. His eloquent speech and now the sweetness of his touch were intoxicating as she returned the pressure of his lips. Barnabas felt the swell of acceptance and tightened his hold on Julia’s slender frame. He drew back for just an instant before feeling the passion burst alive in his chest. The gentle loving smile on her face registered with his brain as he crushed her to him and kissed her with a vengeance that made them both reel. Moments that seemed as hours passed before the kiss ended.
Barnabas held Julia firmly to him with his head resting alongside hers. He felt the tightness of Julia’s arms around his waist, the closeness of their bodies and the heat between them. The deepness of her breath and the gentle shudder told Barnabas that she was fighting to maintain control of her emotions. "Julia, I love you. I need you. Please, don’t ever leave me."
The simple confessions were all she needed to hear at that moment. The inner pain eased as she realized that her years of patience had finally paid off. Julia leaned back and trailed her hand upward along his chest and came to rest on the back of his head as she pulled him down toward her waiting lips, silently affirming her answer, and sealing their fate with a kiss. One arm wrapped tightly around her slender waist as his other hand slowly ventured upward along her side and languidly stroked along her ribs and her breast as he succumbed to the overture of her soft body pressed so invitingly close.
From the terrace windows, Quentin Collins observed the pair unnoticed. Remembering his conversation with Barnabas, he smiled at the part he had played in this drama. He chuckled lightly and smirked as he turned away and lifted his brandy in mock toast to the lovers.
Downing the last gulp he placed the glass on the credenza. "It’s about time you came to your senses, Cousin. Well America, it would appear that Barnabas Collins is no longer a candidate for The Dating Game." Turning out the lights he stared back toward the windows, all the while laughing at his own wit, before retreating to another part of the house.
Barnabas Collins lost himself in the growing arousal as he deeply kissed Julia Hoffman. It had been many more years than he cared to acknowledge since he had tenderly held a woman’s soft frame and engaged in such a passionate kiss. His mind paused as he allowed his emotions to guide his movements. His hand slowly skimmed along Julia’s side and came to rest along side her breast. Movement was not impeded this night by heavy wraps. It was a relatively warm night for fall and a simple sweater was all that the night chill had required. The softness of Julia’s light sweater only enhanced the sensations beneath his fingers as his hand strayed across the swell of her breast. Julia moaned slightly into their kiss and gently turned into the caress to further encourage the explorations.
Barnabas was keenly aware of the increasing desire he felt for the woman in his arms. Having removed the last barriers between them by his confessions of love, he felt again like the young man of his youth. Love and life offered so much promise now that he had found the person to share it all with. He would not dwell on the years lost to them by his ignorance but forge ahead passionately with the life that could be theirs.
He felt the warmth of her body as it melded with his own and he inhaled the sensual pleasure of her perfume. It was a scent she frequently used and spoke of floral images. It brought him great pleasure, just like the heady fragrances of his mother’s gardens in his early years. His kisses trailed down her neck as his hand kneaded the erotic rise of her breast.
Julia was absorbed in the awakening pleasure coursing through her body and returned his kisses with abandon as she allowed herself the liberty of touch. For so long, touch had been a fleeting gesture, seldom lingering. Now, she boldly caressed his back, shoulders, and arms. She felt the hardness of his desire pressed against her and allowed her hands to drop to his buttocks and hips before venturing to feather her fingers against the growing bulge in his trousers. She heard his sharp intake of breath and the chuckle that emanated from deep within. He did not cease his onslaught on her neck as she spoke softly into his ear, her hand never straying from its mark.
"That is quite a growth you have there, Mr. Collins."
He pulled back slightly to look at her and the look on his face made her smile. He clasped his hand over hers as he slowly pressed himself against her hand.
"Yes, I’ve been meaning to see my physician about it."
"Oh, is it uncomfortable? Does it cause you any pain?" Julia was enjoying their teasing banter. Never before would she have thought him capable of such levity.
"Why yes, at times. Tell me, Dr. Hoffman, are you able to diagnose the problem?"
"Oh, not without a thorough examination I couldn’t, Mr. Collins."
"Perhaps you would consider that now, that is, if you are free."
"I must warn you, sir. A single examination may not be sufficient. Cases like this can be hard to diagnose and take a long time to reach a culmination."
"Well, doctor, whatever you feel is necessary. I would certainly never want to rush you. I’m certain you want to do things right."
"Absolutely, but I am certain I can find the appropriate treatment. You must be aware that it may require several treatments, over the course of possibly years, and even then you will not be permanently cured of this particular affliction."
"You sound as though you have suspicions as to the cause of this growth. Tell me, have you encountered this before in your career?"
"Yes, a time or two. It is not untreatable; however, it will require extensive, vigorous treatment. That is, if you are willing to proceed."
"Doctor, I have no doubt in your abilities. There is no one else I would ever turn to for this anomaly." Having taken as much joking and levity as his predicament would allow, Barnabas roughly pulled Julia to him and kissed her deeply. Tongues lashed at tongues, as hands seemed everywhere along their joined bodies. Their breathing increased to fevered pitch when Julia pressed away, her hands lingering on his chest.
"I appreciate your enthusiasm, Mr. Collins, but we have not yet discussed my fee. My services do not come cheap. Are you capable of meeting the commitment to retain my lifelong services?"
"Dr. Hoffman, I would be honored if you would, as of this moment, discontinue seeing any other such patients and commit such services only to me. I assure you, I am a very wealthy man and a wise one as well. I understand the value of someone such as yourself with such wide-ranging talents. I am certain that we can reach an understanding in your remuneration."
"Personally, I believe that we should agree on a trade relationship. Services rendered by the recipient, yourself, in payment for services rendered by myself."
"I do believe that would be an acceptable arrangement, my dear. Perhaps you would care to retire to the Old House with me and we can further discuss the details." He leaned down to lightly kiss her neck. A sigh preceded her answer.
"That is the best suggestion you’ve made yet, Barnabas." The sultry look in her green eyes as their eyes met told him that tonight would be one evening they would never forget. Now able to walk again, he slid his arm around her waist and drew her close to his side.
"The problem seems to have abated for the moment, Doctor, but I don’t wish to take any chances." He hugged her tightly as he began to laugh at her hearty reply.
Her eyes twinkled with mischief. "By all means then, let the treatments begin." Julia allowed her hand to trail down along his firm backside and then back to the small of his back. She was well aware that her touch would have him eager for more by the time they reached the Old House. Silently, she wondered if they would even make it there.
