Gender? Hardly Know Er!

He/They a little punk rock, a little cutesy Musings, thoughts, and reflections about gender fluidity, self-discovery, and learning to love myself. And maybe some art if I feel like it.

[genderhardlyknower]

Off to my first Pride! So excited!

[evipineschi]

shows up to pride month 30 mins late

[genderhardlyknower]

“We’re all wearing Docs” has similar energy to

[shymagnolia]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[shymagnolia]

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

[flagellant]

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

[coffee-or-hot-cocoa]

i need all the help i can get for finals

[finnglas]

Hey so

the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like. 

So you know. 

This might be the real one, y’all.

[avhira]

I could use some luck

[josephbrassey]

Some luck definitely wouldn’t hurt right now.

[genderhardlyknower]

Why not? Let’s get that good luck!

[genderhardlyknower]

I sometimes have a hard time understanding or even conceptualizing of someone who had an overwhelmingly positive middle school experience. I’ve literally met people who seem perplexed at that time period being anything but fun times and chill vibes. And I’m fascinated by that type of person. What do you mean you didn’t feel constantly insecure? What do you mean you didn’t have dysphoria and constant thoughts about your gender? What do you mean your friends didn’t ban you from their lunch table because, “people are starting to talk about you”? What do you mean you felt happy and validated by your peers?

And then I remember, “oh yeah, I was kind of the weird one here. I was a deeply closeted genderfluid egg during the Bush era. I was neurodivergent, socially awkward goofball (affectionate). I was a ‘boy’ who didn’t like sports. Of course my experience was different! How could it NOT be?”

Luckily I’ve reached a point in my big age that I do actually love myself and I’m no longer knee-jerk bitter about my early teen experience, but there was a period of time when I would hear that someone had a good middle school experience and my initial thought would be, “You’re probably the reason I didn’t.”

But the liberating experience of self love and acceptance is letting that old wound go. Understanding that, yes, my early teens sucked in many ways, but 1) that didn’t define me, and 2) It isn’t a zero-sum game. Them having happy tween years doesn’t mean they had to step on the neck of someone like me to get there. They just got lucky.

[mantisfriendd]

it is funny to me that I picked a changeling as my d&d character and one of my friends went "you'll have to be good at doing voices, girl voices too lol" and I just went "yeah I guess so"

and it still wasn't another several months after that that my egg officially broke lol

once again, there were Signs.

[genderhardlyknower]

Wizards of the Coast needs a new Pride marketing campaign.

“DnD! The game that transes your gender right the hell up!”

[mantisfriendd]

experimenting with makeup has made me realize how much more i resemble my female family members then I thought

I smile to take a picture and I realize I smile like my aunt

I notice that the way my hair frames my face looks like my cousin

ok so maybe "I look like my relatives" isn't a crazy revelation lol but I guess I just never thought about it till now

the Park genes are evidently rather strong.

[genderhardlyknower]

Yes! Since my hair grew out, I’ve been shocked the amount of times I see my sisters in the mirror!

[genderhardlyknower]

So in Tomodachi Life, I decided to make miis for both my masc side and my femme side, and that's been pretty fun. However, in the beginning, THEY DID NOT LIKE EACH OTHER. They had the same personality and everything, but every conversation ended with my masc mii saying something that upset my femme mii. Now, they're good buddies, but holy cow, if that isn't a perfect metaphor for the years of repression leading up to my eventual egg crack and self-acceptance, I don't know what is.

[genderhardlyknower]

My wife did my nails guys!

This amazing woman came home from the store and said, “These made me think of you.” And tossed me some stick on nails that would make Barbie blush!

This woman saw these ultra femme nails and said, yeah, my husband should have these!

I keep looking down at them and shivering with affirmation, like holy cow this baby trans genderfluid feels so seen!

Anyways, just wanted to share my pretty nails!

[genderhardlyknower]

I had a surprisingly affirming family dinner this weekend.

My mom, who struggled a bit when I came out last year, complimented my new circular frames. “I love those glasses! Those are so cute!” Cue me blushing and gushing about how happy they make me.

Also, my family is obsessed with height. It’s because my most of them are in the low 5-foot range, and I was the freak who grew to 6’1”.

Well my sisters are all competing to see which one of them is the tallest because it’s a point of joking pride for them apparently. We are all in our 30s and 40s. Until one of them literally grabs the measuring tape to settle the argument. “Here we go,” I think, “time to confirm once again that I’m the biggest in the family.”

Well turns out that I’ve shrunk or something. I’m apparently down to just about 6-foot even. My height might actually start with a 5! That was a weirdly happy moment for my girl side. Like “wow, I’m canonically shorter than Netflix Tall Girl (TM) ?!”

It’s the little things sometimes. I love when something dumb and random affirms me.

[drueginger]

Folks, it has happened again on another job I applied for.

[discoursedrome]

[genderhardlyknower]

You need a VPN to access the region-locked genders.

[josephbrassey]

“Haha remember when murder-hornets were gonna be a thing? What a nothingburger.”

Yes, because the Washington state government activated like a sleeper-cell and ruthlessly, systematically hunted them down and annihilated them.

“Y2K came to nothing amirite?”

Yes because an army of software engineers working around the clock, losing sleep, and busting ass till the last minute prevented it from happening.

“Remember the hole in the ozone layer?”

You mean the one that was fixed through rigorous world wide government action?

One of the root problems of our society is a refusal or inability by media to articulate that all those “it’s gonna be an apocalypse” disasters were not disasters because we collectively did something about them.

The good news is this is actually quite correctable. I maintain my firm belief that we as humans are capable of solving almost all of our problems, when we decide to do so.

And I still think that’s going to happen. I don’t know when or how, but I do know that abandoning hope won’t help bring it about.

And I refuse to let the cynics own a chunk of my heart.

[dostoyevsky-official]

i was also thinking about how sensual the snow was, how suggestive the curves of the snowbanks appeared, their softness

[genderhardlyknower]

Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God. It’s even made of water.

[genderhardlyknower]

It is truly such a wild feeling to wake up feeling like a tomboy when you grew up as a boy.

Like what are you talking about, that I’m culturally expected to wear what I’m currently wearing? Nuh-uh! I’m being a rebel! I’m totally not like other girls! What are you saying, “I’m not even a girl”? Have you seen these hair clips?!

I swear sometimes I’m closer to a successful performance of masculinity when I’m approaching it from a femme lens.

Like I was NEVER able to “trick” the other boys growing up into thinking I belonged in their category, but crack my egg early and let little femme me try being sporty and outdoorsy…

…They probably still would have called me slurs let’s be honest here 😜

[mantisfriendd]

god I'm so glad I stopped being afraid of wearing tank tops, this rocks

it's very much a gender thing for me but like

what is funny is that I saw my trans masc friend the other day wearing the exact same tank top brand, and wearing it backwards exactly like I am

so I guess tank top is just gender both directions lmao

[genderhardlyknower]

It’s funny what can get in your head as being an “other gender thing”. Last year I apprehensively admitted to my wife that I wanted to wear more cardigans because my brain interpreted that as “cute and girly” and therefore affirming. I was nervous to ask for it and wanted to make sure she was “comfortable “ with me expressing that way.

She was like, “bro, what now?! Everyone wears freaking cardigans! Go for it!”

Cut to a few months later she buys me a cardigan with ladybugs, bees, and BOWS on it. “This made me think of you…”

[gaytanic-panic]

I feel like every year the girl names get more boyish like what do you mean you are a teenage girl named Ian??

And this leads to an escalation on the boy name front where like, once upon a time shit like Hunter was something parents in the Bush era made up to reassure ppl there was no fag shit going on with their kids and now the most famous trans woman in country is named Hunter so p soon we are gonna need to call the boys shit like Blade and Laser

[gaytanic-panic]

I'm gonna be teaching in 2030 and all the girls are going to be named Arnold and Connor and all the boys are gonna be named Gun

[genderhardlyknower]

“DickSword McFootballT-Rex?”

“Present!”

“Thanks for joining us, Miss DickSword.”

[cr1zz0]

Sometimes, it's just the mentality.

Clothes are just a piece of cloth...

[genderhardlyknower]

How I’m feeling today with a full face of makeup and Luna moth earrings, but everything below the neck looks like I stole it off a lumberjack hipster.

The girl side of my brain is like, “teehee, look at your cute boy clothes! What a darling little tomboy you are!”

[dimension20memes]

Shout out to all the nonbinary/gender fluid people.

Textpost credit @thepirateclown