~ My Personal Headcanons of Henry Bowers ~
{Inspired by @elliotttsblog}
WARNING: ABUSE, SELF HARM, AND SEXISM.
★~ Henry Bowers is probably the most complex person in the gang both mentally and emotionally. He craves validation greatly, whether it would be from keeping his reputation in place or from his friends, but would call himself weak for needing it. I believe the only reason he created the gang was to make sure that no one could ever call him weak, because how could you be weak if you have spawned a violent circle? Though, it is obviously not enough validation if you still get doubts inside your head.
Henry hates more than anything when he is viewed as weak. If he even shows any other emotion than anger or malice, he would wait until he is alone to punish himself for showing any vulnerability, learned by his father punishing him for shedding a tear. He would either cut himself by his switchblade, slap his face to make himself stop crying, or would throw things if his dad wasn't home. He would end up in trouble if his dad found any evidence of his tantrum, which would lead to Henry having an even harder time releasing his other emotions healthily.
Deep down, Henry never wanted to be viewed as a monster. He wanted respect, and he would enjoy the respect even if it was centered around fear. He is violent, yes, but before he snapped, he never intended to actually kill anyone. He would just want to leave a mark, a reminder to never doubt his power again.
Bowers loathes himself to the point he can't look at himself in the mirror. All he can see is weakness, pity, and something ugly with all of the scars, wounds, cuts, bruises covering his skin that proved he can't fight back, which enrages him. He doesn't think he is attractive, both inside and outside. After a while, he covers the mirror in his bedroom to avoid every reminder of who he is.
Love doesn't exist to Henry. Only fear and anger. All his relationships were one time flings and he doesn't mind that. Before his mother left due to the abuse she endured from Butch, he has grown to believe women are only here for his pleasure and satisfaction. If he did find true love, he may have that ideology change.
What Henry does in his past times without his gang are mainly him wandering around Derry to find the Losers. However, if they aren't outside, he usually hangs out at the quarry to get away from his home life, from the gang, and would even try to get away from himself. Henry would sometimes steal beer from convenience stores and drink every can in that case alone to melt everything about him from his mind. It would usually end up with him passing out there or walking home alone, which would lead to his dad beating him black and blue.
If you ever try to hug him, no matter how close you manage to get to him, Henry would immediately shove you off of him and put his guards up, ready to fight even if they were completely innocent and nonthreatening. Affection isn't in his vocabulary; he never had anything other than hits and kicks, so it would take him many years to break off those first reactions.
Umm... I think that's about it! I hope you have enjoyed reading! ~★
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