✧ — ░ STRESSED OUT

i ponder of something great, my lungs will FILL and then DEFLATE — they fill with fire, exhale desire. i know it's diar, my time today. i have these thoughts so often i ought to replace that { s l o t } with what i once bought, 'cause somebody stole my car radio, and now i just sit in ( s i l e n c e ) . sometimes quiet is violent, i find it hard to hide it, my pride is no longer inside. it's on my sleeve, my skin will SCREAM reminding me of who i killed inside my d r e a m . i hate this car that i'm d r i v i n g, there's no hiding for me. i'm forced to deal with what i feel, there is no distraction to MASK what is real.

[stillsomewhatsane]

[harryhfyr]

✗. MY HEART IS OPEN ;; LARRY.

L: "Just friends..?" he drops his hands before shaking his head. "Harry.. it's.. just friends don't.. well, I can't argue, it's what you said, and I respect your thought.." Louis tries to bring a smile forward, failing as he moves his hands down to his knees as he rubs them briefly. "Well tell me what you want me to make you then, I can manage to make something else, since the pasta was gone.. so really whatever you want yeah? Might have ice cream in there if you'd like me to get that, helps for the head, or at least for me it does.." The older tucks his lips back in between his teeth as he nibbles briefly, his hand moving to Harry's hair as he gently scratches at his scalp.

H: "Yeah, i think it'd be best for us if we didn't complicate this with any.. feelings that might develop if we just sleep around together. I know you just-.. It's alright, Lou." He bit down hard at his bottom lip, bringing his hand up to move Louis' hand away from the back of his head. Harry tried to move himself even farther away from Louis. If his heart wasn't dropped to his stomach, it was by now. "Uhm, I can go get something in a minute. Maybe I'll make some more pasta or something else. I just-.. I can't exactly get up right now, I'm a little lightheaded right now if I'm honest."

[harryhfyr]

✗. MY HEART IS OPEN ;; LARRY.

L: "I hate to say it love but, friends don't do what we do.. at all." Louis says briefly as his hand moves down to Harry's hips, grasping it tightly. In a sense, the older boy wanted them to be so much more than just friends but it was relatively whatever Harry wanted. "Friends don't cuddle or.. kiss or.. anything else, they don't do that.. I can't be just friends, I want more.. with you. I can't just fuck you without feelings like-.. you're different you've always been different.." he whispers while his hands cup Harry's face briefly. "I know that's a lot to say, and take in but, fuck.. I really feel so much more with you.. we don't have to like.. put a label on it just yet.. this could be our thing if you want, whatever you want.. I just.. I want you, Harry.. I always want you."

H: Once Harry's eyes were open, Louis' babbling caught him completely off guard, leaving the younger boy at a complete loss for words. Here was he boy whom he'd been so entranced with since the moment he met him almost six years ago asking him to be almost together. The almost part was the one that got to him; the part that made Harry shake his head slightly, completely breaking all contact from the smaller boy. He didn't want to be friends with benefits or whatever thing Louis had been insinuating. "Well," he frowned, still keeping his gaze away from the smaller boy. "I think-.. I think we should just stay friends. Just--.. Yeah, just friends.." Reaching his hand up, Harry rubbed at his temples, feeling slightly lightheaded. "I think we should eat.."

[uoa]

[harryhfyr]

✗. MY HEART IS OPEN ;; LARRY.

L: He squints briefly as he feels Harry slip away which of course he sighs deeply and goes to clean up the plate. Once washing and placing it away, the older boy runs a hand through his fringe before going right back to the living room and to the couch where Harry had settled before and going to sit while moving the blanket again. Louis takes his opportunity to give the fact that best friends really wasn't all he wanted, course, he was risking a lot if Harry didn't feel the same way, but neither one of them were all too sure just yet. He reaches for Harry's face before turning it to his, leaning in and pressing his lips to the younger's only to kiss him softly. His arm lifts so his hand can press against the warmth of Harry's cheek, stroking his thumb along the heated skin before he pulls apart but decides against it, only to kiss him once more.

H: He sighed loudy as he listened to the other boy cleaning up the dishes. Of course he was doing the adult thing in this by cleaning up after the pair, but part of Harry wished that Louis had immediately come after him. Harry continued to bury his face against the fabric of his couch, hiccuping slightly as he started breathing in the dusty smell that radiated off of the arm. He continued to keep his face pressed up against it, hard enough that he was starting to see stars bursting behind his eyelids. Feeling his face getting turned to the side, he let out a small noise, keeping his eyes closed as if the fact that he'd open them it wouldn't be actually happening. Also, the world was still swimming for not having eaten anything all day.

[harryhfyr]

✗. MY HEART IS OPEN ;; LARRY.

L: "You should be.. after all, we have been like this for many years, nothing new necessarily." The older boy keeps Harry pressed against his chest as he rubs a hand along his back only to take another bite. "I know you're not much one to eat but I still want you to at least try to east something small, so you're not like.. gettin' a tummy ache or somethin'." he moves Harry in close as he can before his lips softly meet his cheek. "You're so beautiful, I really hope you know that. It's entirely off topic, but, I've just noticed from looking at you, that you're just so fucking cute and pretty, and I'm lucky to even be blessed with your presence, to be entirely fair." Louis hand moves on top of Harry's before rubbing along each of his knuckles with the tips of his fingers.

H: "You're right; you've always been my best mate.. and you always will be." Though the comment should've made Harry happy, knowing that his best mate would always be here for him; it still brought a sinking feeling in his stomach. Flickering his tongue over his lips, he gazed up at the other boy, watching as he continued to eat-.. but for some reason, the sight made him slightly sick. "Best mate." He muttered, frown deepening and before he knew it, Harry was sliding himself off of Louis' lap. "Y'know, m'actually feeling a bit sicker than before; I think it was the pasta. M'gonna go lay back down." Before he gave Louis any time to respond, he was turning himself around, making his way back over to the hole in the couch that he was situated in before Louis had arrived. Burying his face in the pillow, Harry pulled the blanket back over his head, trying to force himself back to bed.

[harryhfyr]

✗. MY HEART IS OPEN ;; LARRY.

L: "Well that's why I'm here, so we can make sure me best is all better and happy again. I do like to see you happy, you've got a gorgeous smile, be silly to waste it." Louis admits before he reaches up to tuck the stands behind Harry's ear only to cup his cheek moments later. "You said to feed you, and like I said earlier, don't want you to burn your mouth. Gotta take care of me boy hm?" The sudden realization that Harry isn't his hits him but he shrugs it off, at least until the right time comes. "You're welcome, pretty." he replies softly, smiling to the kiss on his cheek before he spins the pasta in his hand and takes another bite for himself.

H: "I'll smile; but only because you seem to like it when I do. S'weird, but you're you, so I suppose I should be used to it by now." Harry smiled over at the boy, relishing in the closeness. Before Harry can lean in anymore, he knows that he shouldnt push the line too much; so with that realization, he draws back, glancing back down at the ground. "Not really too hungry, but you know I can't say no to you. You know m'always gonna want to-.. you're my best mate too." The younger boy watches as Louis eats the next bite, leaning back against his chest only to let his eyes flutter back to a close.

[harryhfyr]

✗. MY HEART IS OPEN ;; LARRY.

L: "I just feel bad cause I can't make you feel better and I really want to.. don't like to see you so upset.. you don't deserve that at all." Louis frowns a bit while his open hand rubs against his back, nuzzling his nose against Harry's neck only to softly kiss it and pull away seconds later. The last thing Louis ever wanted was for Harry to be upset, and what made it worse was when he wasn't aware as to what to do in the first place. The older boy smiles before nodding a bit, as he pushes the fork back to the pasta, wrapping it around his fork and lifting it up before blowing softly to cool it off. "Open up, love."

H: Harry let out a watery laugh, brushing his hair to the side with his hand, sweeping it out of his line of vision. "Honestly," he began, sniffling quietly as he looked back up to the smaller boy. "I don't even know why m'sad. It juts hit me out of nowhere, like-.. I don't know." He shrugged his shoulders, trying to look completely nonchalant about the whole situation before him, not wanting Louis to think he was any more of a baby than he was previously showing. Seeing Louis blow off the steam from the pasta, the younget boy let out a quiet giggle before taking it between his lips, swallowing quickly. "You're cute." Turning around so he was straddling Louis' lap, Harry moved forward, pressing a small kiss to his cheek. "Thank you."

[harryhfyr]

✗. MY HEART IS OPEN ;; LARRY.

L: "I never have other plans, especially when it comes to you, I'd cancel them to be with you, if I'm entirely honest." Louis admits with a light shrug while his arms slip their way around Harry's waist, keeping him against his chest before he nods to his comment about food but takes a single bite for himself. "Whenever you wanna eat, it's here. As far as other things go, you let me know when you want something else.. if not I'll just hold you, m'good with that too. Missed you lots." he rambles on before he presses a small kiss to Harry's cheek, nuzzling the spot with his nose as his fingertips gently graze along the sides of Harry's thighs. He sighs out momentarily before his face moves to the younger's neck, inhaling and exhaling softly as he tightens his grip around Harry's waist. Louis never wanted to be so close to someone like he wanted to be with Harry, he just felt a sense of security and that's what he got, even just from sitting right here.

H: Harry sighed as he buried his face farther into Louis' chest, letting out another small shaky breath as he felt the water in his eyes starting to build up. He wasn't sure why, but it continued to build up until he was forced to dry his eyes on the other boys shirt. The younger boy tried to never let anyone see him like this, but Louis was the rare exception; the only person that Harry would ever let see him at his most vulnerable. Sniffling slightly, he pulled away from the other boy, turning to look back at the food on the table. "Can you-.. do you mind? I think you should be all cute and feed me."!

[harryhfyr]

One of each it is then yeah? 

Yes! Y’wanna come look with me?

[harryhfyr]

kmslou:

This is very true.. which one are you leaning more towards anyways?

I ‘dont know! One of each..

[harryhfyr]

I’d go with a Rot, to be fair. Very protective breed.

But Corgi’s are cute

[harryhfyr]

Ou-.. what kinda puppy?

--.. I want a Corgi or a Rot

[harryhfyr]

Hm, dunno-.. ate pasta? I’ve got no idea, what’d you do today?

Close-.. I want to buy a puppy

[harryhfyr]

Always cute enough for a cuddle.

What about for a sh--.. hey, guess what I did today?!

[harryhfyr]

-..definitely cute enough for a kiss, love.

External image

--.. cute enough for a cuddle, too?

[harryhfyr]

✗. MY HEART IS OPEN ;; LARRY.

L: "You're definitely welcome." Louis replies warmly as he tightens his arms slightly around the younger to keep him from slipping from his arms. "I won't leave you, I'm yours for as long as you want me to be, and well, here of course." Louis cringes once hearing the fall and he sighs deeply to himself, not sure as to why he let himself put Harry to the counter. "Babe.." he reaches to catch the younger up and sets him at the table instead. "There we are.. now you can't fall completely on me, or hurt yourself." Louis goes to the microwave once it goes off before stirring a bit and carefully grabbing the bowl, placing it to the table as he forks at it to get it to cool off. "Don't touch this yet, you'll burn the fuck out of your mouth, and I'd rather you not do that so.. just wait a few before eating this." he adds, scrunching his eyebrows before standing and lifting Harry before sitting, then pulling him to his lap instead.

H: Thank you," he repeats, scrunching his nose up at the thought of Louis being anywhere else. "I don't want to take you away from something if you've got other plans, but I sure would like you to still be here with me.." Harry's eys shoot open as he feels himself being caught, letting them drift over and focus on the other boy before he's sending him a sheepish smile. "Sorry-.. I guess my body really doesnt want to stay upright today." He tries to joke, but there's a slight sincereness behind his voice; one that conveys a sense of seriousness. If Louis wouldn't have been there, Harry would've let himself fall completely off of the counter. He snapped back to reality as soon as he realized that the other boy was speaking to him. "Oh-.. s'okay, I can definitely wait for some food." As soon as Louis placed him on his lap, the younger boy turned to the side, cuddling against his chest once more.