office chairs....

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occasionally subtle

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@hilsonbrainrot
office chairs....
something about house in 4x03 telling wilson i love you right after dying and seeing no afterlife and so drugging and showing wilson what death is like in 8x21 to replicate that experience, but when wilson wakes up from his fake death he just tells house that he believes in heaven, instead of finding himself compelled by life’s love like house did. death made house value life, value wilson. but in that moment death doesn’t make wilson value house. house feels like he’s secondary to wilson’s heaven. like wilson thinks life might be better after death, after house. something about house not wanting to live if wilson hates him. something about him living for a man who’s now refusing to live for him. something about him throwing away his rationality for wilson. for his love of wilson. and then wilson throwing away his rationality for a belief in heaven. something that makes his death less awful for him, but not for house. it even acts against house’s desire to get wilson to truly value him. the first thing house does after nearly dying is tell wilson he loves him. he doesn’t want to hurt wilson in death. he needs wilson to know that he’s living for him. but wilson now doesn’t return that favour. wilson is centring the pain of his death around himself. he says don’t worry it’s fine i believe in heaven!! but house is standing there like what about me bitch!!! meanwhile house’s relationship with the afterlife is centred entirely around wilson. i’ll tell you i love you when i learn there isn’t anything after death (or after you), i’ll choose to live for you despite you hating me (i’d rather be dead than have you hate me), i’ll fake my death and turn you into the afterlife i’ve never until this moment believed in. whereas wilson just believes in this foreign, impersonal heaven. his own dying is about only him. house’s dying has always been about wilson. luckily!! holding on is about wilson realising and accepting just how much he loves and values and needs house. because house has always known. and, whilst he only fully realises the extent of it in everybody dies, house has never denied his love for wilson. but wilson has regularly tried to. he’s tried to reject it to instead prioritise himself. but holding on sees it all bubble over. foreman tells him that the only person he’s consistently loved is house, and that has to mean something. thirteen tells him that house is the only person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. he realises that he needs house to tell him that he loves him before he dies. and then he sees those fucking oreos in his cupboard and goes shit man. he needs me. and i don’t think that’s a bad thing anymore. i haven’t actually just been living for me, i’ve been living for house. if i can’t even look at a fucking oreo without thinking about him then surely. my life is entirely about him. and so wilson is prepared to do chemo for house. to suffer in life for house. but house tells him he doesn’t need to and instead joins wilson in killing himself so that they can live together in death. life has prevented them from being who they want to be. the only life they want to live is one completely devoted to the other. their afterlives aren’t heaven or hell, they’re each other. they turned their deaths into their love for each other. their deaths will exist forever as their eternal love. and like this is canon
first bit of this fucks but then ?? what “implication that he’ll be okay” bitch he’s gonna kill himself
7x15 / 8x21
Good god ep18 s6. House dealing (god-awfully .Full disclosure. The episode opens with house drinking himself half to death with zero regard for himself to the point of unintentionally breaking into his neighbours house and passing out there) with wilson getting back together with his ex-wife while the patient of the episode grapples with his possibly reciprocated love for the woman he loves but cannot Have because she's engaged to be wed with his friend.......... Thirteen egging the patient on to tell her how he really feels but he genuinely Cant Bring Himself To because "my friend's a great guy . He's rich, smart, and he'll treat her well. Me-- I'd do everything I could for her. But it wouldn't be much. And she... she deserves the best." And the episode ends with house resignedly throwing away the sealed envelope that held all the dirt he hired lucas to get on wilson's ex wife to try and break them upOhhhhhhhh oh. OHHHHHHHHHHHHH Ouhhhhhhh. Ouhhhhh the acknowledgement that house would do everything & anything & more for wilson Give .all of himself To Wilson and it still wouldn't be enough because house is House. Because even at his best-- house would still be house and because of that house would never be able to give wilson what he wants What he Needs. Wilson doesn't. Need the misanthropic bastard he's been in love with for 20 years who bites and spits at any threat or sign of emotional intimacy or vulnerability. What wilson. Needs is a woman . A wife and two kids and a white picket fence because that's all wilson is
Its the foundation of his entire self that would bring everything else down with it if it were to crumble. The face that wilson has spent his entire Life honing and sculpting and perfecting to present as the Perfect Hardworking American Man and Son. The perfect husband and treasured son with his own big shiny department and a stainless-white doctor's coat and the Exact Man a woman would Need
What is wilson. who is he What is left of him if he is not needed by a woman; not needed nor wanted any longer by the world he's lived his entire life by to please. What is James Wilson if not what everyone else expects him to be
House is the antithesis to all of that. A man rough and abrasive as sandpaper who makes wilson selfish makes him emotional and stupid. Who encourages wilson to lash out and fight and get angry and stand up for himself and be the exact opposite of what he's worked his entire life to be. Instead of accepting and taking wilson's painstakingly pedantically constructed facade at face value House fucking. Crashes through the walls with a bulldozer. Snatches the mask right off of wilson's face and dangles it over his head goading wilson to go ahead; try and get it back
Wilson is so deathly terrified at the idea of breaking out of the norms he himself has walled himself into-- he can't Bear to think of any other future for himself that is anything other than wholly and completely unnoticeable average monotonous unextraordinary
and House is the exact opposite of unnoticeable average monotonous unextraordinary. House is the apple of Eden that rests on the other side of wilson's pristine-white picket fence. The object of Wilson's every true desire that simultaneously threatens to doom and tear down everything wilson regards protects worships as the one untouchable unquestionable unchangeable truth of his life
House loses before it even starts. No one can compete with that; not even house. By nature, house can never be what wilson needs. What wilson truly desires or wants or needs is another subject entirely, something im genuinely not sure wilson could even grapple with, let alone come to terms with canonically. I fully believe wilson and house are the loves of each other's lives but house will never be what wilson "needs" or "wants" no matter what he does or changes about himself. They love each other more than anything and they want each other and they cant live without each other but House-- intrensically, by nature-- cannot be what Wilson wants.
i respect wilson so much for manufacturing the perfect life to feed his sadomasochism like become an oncologist to surround yourself with people who are suffering and dying and suppress your homosexuality to marry women who you hate to hurt both them and yourself then cream of the crop find yourself a miserable and evil boy best friend who you can spend twenty years denying you’re madly in love with who regularly hurts himself and constantly hurts you. the guy’s built this beautiful little sadomasochist heaven that’s complete with choosing to die prematurely and taking your boyfriend with you. whilst still denying that you’re gay. insane dedication to the cause
Hilson should have had ONE. (1) honest to god fistfight. Not talking about no pansy ass scuffle either i need a FIGHT. Im talking bloodied noses nd bruised cheeks. I need them to exchange words that will alter the course of their relationship forever. MOST OF ALL. They need to make out nastystyle afterwards
Something something gay sex
hey so uh was it casual when you were taking tender care of me at my ugliest and most grotesque, feeding me your last pills so i wouldn't feel pain even if you would. was it casual when i was begging you not to take me to the hospital so i could die in your arms instead. was it casual when i grabbed your shirt with all my energy and you ran your fingers through my hair as you made a promise you actually kept. was it casual when we walked back into work the next day like nothing happened and yet you made me laugh through the uncertainty. was any of this casual
absolutely losing my mind at these excerpts from the original script of Three Stories someone just posted on reddit wilson what do you know about house's intestinal wall????
"Average doctor acts exteremely homoerotic with their best friend" factoid statistically untrue, Georg House who looks at James Wilson yearningfully 5 million times a day is an outlier and should not have been counted
who are you fooling? your heart is bleeding
They ruined my life
wilson lying down on the couch
hilson is peak bcus its modelled off the most seminal of queer dynamics, tom and jerry
Yes, that shirt is from house