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LOVER BOY!

@hiuck

did you get hit by cupid’s arrow too? ⸝⸝ʚ̴̶̷̆ ̯ʚ̴̶̷̆⸝⸝

128 posts

Feb 1, 2022

welcome 2 my virtual diary ( ⸝⸝⸝•_•⸝⸝⸝ ) ｡oO(♡)

#mostly ramble abt my own thoughts bc i’m a sad lil boy ^_^#i also talk abt my bf here hehe #this is like.. to document my relationship & stuff :]#lovie ᐢ..ᐢ

Nov 25, 2025

i'll admit i was hurt, in the beginning. i didn't tell you because i didn't want you to see me as vulnerable, and i didn't want to hurt you, in turn, either.

you said a one-off thing, something akin to you saying you hated my family, or hated my being, or my very essence and joy in life. it felt like i was being punished for sharing my love. i got defensive.

i have a feeling that's why everything's felt so wrong. it was all me. i felt it right to silence myself after being told to (or implied... or maybe it was never like that at all but that was how i interpreted it). i distanced myself because i could not stand being around the person or thing that would remind me of my flaws. annoyance. clinginess. always too much or too little. never right and never enough.

but i can't be quiet about the things or people i love. my love is much stronger than the hurt that powers my hatred. i can't contain it and i can't erase it. it's just not me.

that's when i moved on from my mentality of silence and decided, "well, it's a part of me. and i can't change it. so i can only embrace it."

it has taken me a long time to be satisfied with myself. some days i'm still not. but i'll be damned if another human being takes away the thing that makes me happiest.

so i'm sorry. i'm sorry i was distant and i ignored when you were hurt. i had to heal myself first. i was afraid of hurting you more, with words i don't know how to control.

#my friend told me that friendships should not be transactional #and i agree #i wonder how i got to this point. to think that i was ever right in the way i was going about thi ny s #things* ugh

Sep 1, 2025

i want to marry my best friend

#haven't posted on here in years lol....#after the breakup there wasnt much going on in my love life #there was ***** for a bit but it wasnt romantic or anything #more like a friend breakup. that still haunts me til this day LNAO #LMAO*#this time ive been blessed with a wonderful person #sometimes i get the urge to ask what we are #things would be easier if we didnt live across the country #being gay is so hard Sigh #i was watching a dustin vuongs hard launch vid #and i could only think of u #going to the beach and wearing cute bathing suits together #but also thought of fem phaidei LOL #too fujopilled for my own good #i hope that whoever i end up with #is my best friend #and nothing long distance hopefully lol. cant deal w that again #lovie ᐢ..ᐢ

Jul 29, 2022

whoops!

#7.27 #The End.#lovie ᐢ..ᐢ

Jul 2, 2022

sick and twisted in a cheerful way

#i watch the days pass by without having a thing done #the heart wants what the heart wants #my heart wants to be wanted #my heart wants to be loved #my heart hurts in a delicate way; in a way that you may never feel #am i the only one crying?#i’ve done so much that it’s meaningless #lovie ᐢ..ᐢ

Jul 2, 2022

i feel undesirable on a good day

#the highs of my arrival and the lows of my demise #nothing will ever feel the same #nothing will ever top this #a moment in time can come crashing down #with my emotions in tow #i will never feel good because you aren’t better either #i guess i just have to try harder.#lovie ᐢ..ᐢ

May 22, 2022

steven-scribbleverse

#the universe didnt make me an artist bc if i were i think my brain would melt #lovie luvs!!!1!/1! (☆▽☆)

May 21, 2022

‘cause there’s nobody better than you.

May 21, 2022

i don’t blame you if you want to bury me if your memory…

May 21, 2022

have you forgotten about me (hiuck)? that’s okay.

May 21, 2022

i’m sorry i couldn’t properly tell you how much i love you tonight.

#i’m sorry i’m an awful person sometimes #i’m sorry if i ever hurt your feelings #i’m sorry i get sick so easily #i’m sorry i’m not the best boyfriend #i’m sorry i don’t say my feelings all the time #i’m sorry i don’t even know myself #i’m sorry i don’t have the courage to tell you how i feel #because if i told you. i think i would matter less to you #i’m sorry i can’t seem to be the best version of myself around you #i’m sorry i don’t believe you sometimes when you say how much you love me #because i find it so farfetched #i’m sorry i’m not the way i used to be #i’m sorry i don’t treat you better #there’s nobody better than you.#my dearest teddy bear ✿#i love you. goodnight.

May 21, 2022

i’ve only cried to your best american girl very seriously once. and that time was the most heart-wrenching moment of my life.

#she told me we were too different #that we couldnt understand each other #that we never would be able to #and it broke my heart #because it seemed like even the universe didnt want us together.#lovie ᐢ..ᐢ

May 21, 2022

who am i now in this world without her? petty and dull with the nerve to doubt her. what does it matter, it’s already done.

#it’s over isn’t it?#lovie ᐢ..ᐢ

May 13, 2022

thesassygandalf

What’s she thinking about?

Isn’t it obvious?

thesassygandalf

Holy smokes, you’re right!

#lovie luvs!!!1!/1! (☆▽☆)

May 10, 2022

#LMFAO???#lovie luvs!!!1!/1! (☆▽☆)

May 10, 2022

i always thought i might be bad, now i’m sure that it’s true. ‘cause i think you’re so good, and i’m nothing like you.

#lovie ᐢ..ᐢ

May 5, 2022

goodnight ♡︎

#i feel like i should do this again #some nights as just so cold and lonely #i have to stop listening to mitski late at night..#my dearest teddy bear ✿

LOVER BOY! @hiuck - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag