The Path Of Needles

Bipolar 2 | AnxD | ImpS Caffeine addict | Chronic insomniac

[hoodspeaks]

Summer blossoms. The sun becomes hostile in this season.

[quotemadness]

“Abusers don’t abuse every day. They have good moments. Days when they do the right things. Moments when they say the correct words. when this happens, the key is to remember that it is just an abuser having a good day, but still an abuser based on all the other days.”

— Shannon Thomas

[hoodspeaks]

I’ll never trust that feeling of “finally normal and functioning” It always ends up an episode.

[quotemadness]

“I didn’t know what to say. I felt like crying, Goddammit everybody in the world wants an explanation for your acts and for your very being.”

— Jack Kerouac

[hoodspeaks]

Do I really want to do it or is it another manic episode

[hoodspeaks]

In this weird limbo where I’m not well but I’m not fine and if I slip I sink so deep I don’t even notice until I‘m struggling

[hoodspeaks]

Define “IT’S OKAY” because the amount of comfort it brings me isn’t as much as you think

[hoodspeaks]

The impatient “It’s okay to feel the way you do” = “You’re already a handful to deal with, I don’t need you acting like it’s eating you alive.”

[hoodspeaks]

I was fine just days ago and now I’ve hit the rock bottom.

It’s unbearable how familiar this place is.

[hoodspeaks]

I want so many answers, but so little there is to be gained from them.

[hoodspeaks]

Maybe they’re right, maybe I am the answer. I wouldn’t know, I would never see it that way, I would never admit it.

[hoodspeaks]

Heart pounding shivering anxious and I don’t care

[hoodspeaks]

Tell me, where can I sell my soul to get a bit of rest and supress these bouts of shivers, exploding carelessness and thousands of colliding thoughts in my head

[hoodspeaks]

Who else can I trust if I can’t even trust my psychiatrist?

[hoodspeaks]

Give and take. It’s always been give and take.

[hoodspeaks]

I know I’m fine now. But am I really?

[hoodspeaks]

That moment when I realize I‘m a real downer but just a week ago I thought I was the funniest person on the planet. Has everyone just been tolerating me? At what point are they going to stop?