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Sting in the band groupchat: i am so tired of peeing. i drink the water, which i apparently need to live or something, then i have to go put the water somewhere else five minutes later. i drink the water, i go to a place to un-drink the water, i wash my hands, i leave, then i have to drink more water. guess where that water ends up? not in me! i give the water to my body and like a child it tosses it out and demands more. all hours of the day all hours of the night no matter what i am doing my life is interrupted by piss and this is bullshit

Andy: Are you okay, mate?

Sting: no

#admin krista #the police band #sting #andy summers

Stewart: OK gang I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of this one.

Sting: [pulls out knife] Manslaughter it is.

#admin max #the police band #Stewart Copeland #Sting

Sting: Okay, Stewart, repeat after me.

Sting:.....

Stewart:......

Sting:.....

Stewart:.....

Sting:......

Stewart:.... but you aren’t saying anything?

Sting: Exactly.

#admin max #i live #the police band #stewart copeland #sting

Sting: Have you considered shock therapy?

Stewart: What? What is that?

Sting: You electrocute yourself.

Sting: It doesn't actually work, I just think it'd be funny.

#admin krista #the police band #sting #stewart copeland #source: discord

Stewart, texting Ian at 3AM: do you think micky mouse is a top of a bottom

Ian: listen i might answer that question and laugh at a time when i am fully rested but that is Not Now

#admin krista #nsft #the police band #stewart copeland #ian copeland #source: me

Andy, texting Sting: How did u make that guy?

Sting: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sting: Idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Andy: -\{:)_/-

#admin krista #the police band #andy summers #sting

Andy, texting Sting: Hello my beautiful friend just wondering did you eat my hummus as it seems to have disappeared and I was so looking forward to it.

Sting: Maybe

Andy: Fucker

#admin krista #the police band #andy summers #sting

*While arguing about "Behind My Camel"*

Sting: I was expecting a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.

Andy: your mom suck me good and hard thru my jorts

#admin krista #the police band #sting #andy summers #nsft

Stewart, texting Andy: do u ever just see something that changes ur life and ur just like huh

Andy: I saw u

Stewart: honestly thats so gay and sweet and it really makes this awkward because i was gonna show u a photo of a drawing of sting as a turkey

#admin krista #the police band #stewart copeland #andy summers

Andy, texting Sting: Cool. I sent you a cool nasa thing to your email. Also I'm putting biscuits in the oven rat nao.

Andy: That's my Texas accent. Rat nao.

#admin krista #the police band #andy summers

Stewart, texting Ian: have u noticed there is no direct equivalent to normal cheetos

Ian: Wdym?

Stewart: i mean

Stewart: there is no direct equivalent to normal cheetos

Ian: Care to explain?

Stewart: oh yeah of course

Stewart: you see, there is no direct equivalent to normal cheetos

#admin krista #the police band #stewart copeland #ian copeland

Stewart: (Posted on a piece of paper outside of his door) PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE. I've got a weeks worth of work to do in 3 hours because I have the time management skills of a carrot. Thank you.

#admin krista #the police band #stewart copeland

Stewart, texting Andy: (Sends a photo of a heeled shoe shaped like a horse)

Andy: NO

Stewart: It's a horseshoe

Andy: No.

Stewart: Why are you so afraid of the truth

#admin krista #the police band #stewart copeland #andy summers

Andy, texting Sting: Hey

Sting: Hey

Sting: Sup

Andy: *microwave noises*

Sting: Ah yes of course of course