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@infjexistentialcrisis
id love for someone to please explain to me how i ended up terrified of any kind of intimacy while craving it constantly all at the same time
Abuse bro
MBTI Activity pairings as gifs
INTJ + ISFP
ENTJ + ESFP
INTP + ISFJ
ENTP + ESFJ
INFJ + ISTP
ENFJ + ESTP
INFP + ISTJ
ENFP + ESTJ
how your micro-expressions make you look according to your cognitive stack
Ne/Ti - hectic
Ne/Fi - scattered
Ni/Fe - pensive
Ni/Te - intense
Se/Ti - alert
Se/Fi - vivacious
Si/Te - private
Si/Fe - gentle
Te/Ni - authoritative
Te/Si - unyielding
Ti/Se - deadpan
Ti/Ne - detached
Fe/Si - welcoming
Fe/Ni - gregarious
Fi/Ne - dreamy
Fi/Se - cognizant
Middle functions: An analysis of sorts...
SUBMITTED by Steve
Iâve always been more interested in how middle functions work together as opposed to Dominant/Inferior functions which are really black and white. What Iâve seen isâŠ
EPs and IJs have their feeling and thinking functions stacked in the middle. What does that mean? It means they are usually more secure about who they are and how they relate to others. They can be heavily judgmental, of course, because thatâs just human nature, but IJ and EP types can usually judge others harshly just as harshly as they judge themselves. They have this innate understanding of what people are made of and also what skills they can bring to the table. As of such, they have no problem poking fun at themselves as much as they do with others. No human behavior is taken too seriously for them unless itâs totally out of line. They usually have great understanding into the human psyche and how we are all strong and weak at the same time.Â
On the flip side however, their perception of things usually meets two ultimate ends of the spectrum. IJs are terribly afraid of chaos. They feel this inner need to control how their lives will work out at every turn and absolutely despise surprise twists that come out of nowhere. EPs on the other hand, actively shun control. They donât want to be locked up and asked to do the same thing over and over again. Therefore, they have a tendency to flee responsibilities or anything that makes life mundane and stale. They see no virtue in sitting down and focusing on one particular thing.Â
EJs and IPs have their sensory and intuitive functions in the middle, which means they have a broader, more realistic view of whatâs happening and whatâs to come. They welcome the unknown with open arms, knowing they can tackle what is coming their way. They can make quick work of analyzing data as it presents itself and then adjusting accordingly. The immediate and speculatory realm for them meshes in together to provide some sort of safety heading into the unknown. They know how to balance that carefree life and responsible life together as one entity. They are sharp observers who can tell you both what is and what could be.Â
However, they struggle with their sense of identity in this world in one way or another. EJ types think that as long as they lead and remain a strong figures, then nothing can knock them off their pedestals. But this requires a ridiculous amount of energy to maintain and they will often ignore, at best, wonder what are their actual inner needs. If they tap into this, it may lead to shame because they figure they simply canât act on their own accord if the rest of the world doesnât approve of it, therefore better to remain a strong, albeit superficial, figure because thatâs what others expect of them. IPs on the other hand are totally driven by their own sense of individuality. that is honorable of course, but comes with its downside.They essentially refuse to be âboxed inâ, wonât be told what to do and essentially figure that being rebellious is the best way to go through life. But meanwhile, they are not fitting in or accomplishing any of their dreams. They can often be obsessed with proving a point but forgetting to move things along. They come off as slackers to others which just perpetuates a vicious cycle of âYou canât tell me what to do so I wonât actually do anythingâ.Â
Each enneagram subtype summed up
Enneagram 1:
Sp: I have to be perfect
Sx: You have to be perfect
So: I am perfect
Enneagram 2:
Sp: If I am cute and innocent, will you love me then?
Sx: If I am hot and seductive, will you love me then?
So: If I help you out, will you love me then?
Enneagram 3:
Sp: I donât need you to applaud my success
Sx: The right people have to applaud my success
So: I live for the applause
Enneagram 4:
Sp: I must suffer in silence
Sx: If I have to suffer, you have to suffer
So: I suffer too much
Enneagram 5
Sp: Let me stay in my own world
Sx: Let me show you my own world
So: Let me observe your world
Enneagram 6
Sp: I overcome fear by sticking to the rules
Sx: I overcome fear by facing my fears
So: I overcome fear by upholding status quo
Enneagram 7
Sp: Fun is where itâs most intense
Sx: Fun is where I havenât been before
So: I must sacrifice fun for the greater good
Enneagram 8
Sp: Itâs me and my people against the world
Sx: I must control others to control the world
So: I must lead the world to a better place
Enneagram 9
Sp: I must nurture myself to find peace
Sx: I must nurture my intimates to find peace
So: I must put others before myself to find peace
MBTI-Enneagram Portraits: Gut Center Type 9
AUTHORED BY ENTP MOD
The Enneagram 9
9w8: Calm individuals who will have a smiling face and pleasing disposition till they are angered. Things can happen so quickly, the object of their anger will be surprised at the strength of anger contained within that seeming easy-going individual. They are more likely to be roused to anger, when their friends or loved ones are disrespected or hurt because Nines commonly practice self-erasure. Healthy individuals of the type are able to stay focused, get out of their passivity and care for individuals as well as be responsive to emotional needs. Unhealthy individuals will go into total shut down mode acting like an unhealthy, fearful Six and withdraw to hoard knowledge/resources like a Five.
9w1: The main difference between the 9w8 and the 9w1 is in what triggers their anger. The former may erupt in order to reinforce boundaries, or protect loved ones; the latter will be roused to anger quickly when they come upon some injustice. The former does not regret their explosive anger when it finally happens, but the latter feels some regret/guilt if they think such behavior was inappropriate (and they usually do).
Nines and the Perceiving Function Axis:
Nine softens the frenzied and energetic expression of high extroverted functions (Ne/Se) whereas in case of individuals who lead with introverted functions (Si/Ni) there is a danger of total denial of self expression, in order to merge with oneâs environment or to avoid conflict and discord. There can be a tantalizing hint of a spark and something fierce hidden behind the curtains of a Nine with an Eight wing. A One wing produces a calm, headstrong individual who will just shut down upon outraged, or having their boundaries breached.
Nines and the Judging Function Axis:
Fi/Te / TeFi: These folk pride themselves on promoting peace, love and harmony. They take the moral high road which is why when they are outraged, the offenders better run for cover. Their Te expression is muted, especially where it comes to the expression of anger. Rather than punish someone, they are more likely to look for harmonic solutions. These people believe an eye for an eye will make the whole world go blind. They will take the fight forward if nobody else offers to or is capable of it (8) or if it is the right thing to do (1).
FeTi / TiFe: There is a complete and total denial of their own emotional needs while orienting themselves wholly towards meeting othersâ emotional needs so they can gain group acceptance. Ti is fairly weak, because they would eschew dissent on logical grounds if it will create conflict. High Ti users will use Nine to consolidate dissenting ideas to improvise and create newer, bigger ones (8) that will incorporate the best elements of all the pre-existing ones, and result in an overall betterment of the system (1). Fe is marginally better with an Eight wing, even though the acknowledge and expression will still be quite average.
The INFJ-Enneatype Mix
by emeraldsea (X) (X)Â
A glimpse of what INFJs of each enneatype tend to look like, with a focus on positive traits of psychologically average to healthy individuals of each type: INFJ Type 1 Very strong on values, they are like a bulwark, and you can count on them. In mentoring and counseling others, they are extraordinarily gifted in achieving the perfect balance of holding others accountable in a gracious but firm way, while trying to help them work through their issues. One of their strongest ethics will be kindness - their ethical fortitude, combined with Fe, makes for someone who will be very loving and gracious. Their demeanor wonât be overtly emotional but it will have an emotional undercurrent you may be able to sense, a âflairâ about it - itâs hard to put this into words. 1s in general are very self-critical and perfectionist by nature, and they will notice in the environment where others arenât living up to their ethics, and are likely to try to inspire, direct, or prompt them to do so. An INFJ 1 will do so, but with the magnanimity and sensitivity of Fe. they often crusade for a cause; or they may become courageous, inspiring, effective agents for social change. Their 1 core, combined with Fe, will look a lot like Fi, so they may seem to be INFPs; but they arenât. INFJ Type 2 One of the warmest, most friendly, almost extrovertish-seeming INFJs, they thrive on making connections with other people. This INFJ is likely to talk to you first, befriend you, be overtly compassionate and empathetic, and help you out in any way possible. You wonât be able to miss their Fe ~ they will be encouraging you, being sweet to you, all the things you expect from Fe. For instance, if you are in the hospital, this INFJ is likely to anticipate what all your needs may be - come and bring your family food, drive your kids around to their errands, then visit you and try to cheer you up (thus appearing ISFJish in behavior at times). They may feel obligated to help anyone who needs them, and find it difficult to say no. They will want to spend time with you, lots of it - they show caring partly through quality time - and they want a reciprocally warm relationship. So they arenât going to seem distant, emotionally disconnected, or cold, nor will they come across as introverted as they really are. Because of Feâs drive towards harmony, an INFJ 2 is going to be more focused on the health/harmony of the relationship and, because of that, highly in tune with how they think others feel about them, more so than 2s already areâŠand therefore more troubled by lack of reciprocity or problems in the relationship. INFJ Type 3 The humanely-driven-for-success INFJ, for whom affirmation is bread and butter. I have rarely seen this combination on this forum, so this information is a synthesis of theoretical data. They would be driven both to be, and to appear to be, very good at whatever they do. Success and the esteem of others would translate to security for them, so whatever their role is, they would try to be the very best possible at that role. Therefore accolades would be welcome - since they would care what others thought of them - and they wouldnât be shy to have positive attention drawn to themselves. In interacting with them, you would find them extraordinarily charming and likeable and caringâŠwhile not overtly emotional (they would tend to suppress their emotions, although a 4 wing might change that). Within each setting, they would intuitively be able to determine what others were expecting of them, and what was deemed as success; and - unless those expectations or standards of success conflicted with their Fe values - would do their best to live up to that ideal, and be afraid to fail. Likely, they would feel an internal conflict between their independent thinking (Ni) and the thinking of society at large (what society considers âintellectualâ or âacceptable patterns of thoughtâ), and also struggle with societyâs definitions of success through stepping on others to get to the top since that violates their Fe. So they would be likely to be principled in that they would have a problem with achieving success at cost to others or in a way that would have to put others down in order to elevate themselves. INFJ Type 4 The artsy INFJ that typically has a penchant for eye contact, who can talk to you with their eyes, they are going to seem like they understand you, and you are likely to feel safe around them. They are going to have their soul wed to some form(s) of art (it could be painting, drawing, music, literature, dance, photography, acting, etc.), through which they express their wide range of emotions, because they are very emotional people. What 4s feel, they feel deeply, no matter what the emotionâŠand INFJs feel the feelings of those around them via Fe - so INFJ 4s are deeply empathetic. They are passionate, can fall into very dark moods, and can appear dramatic (although a 5 wing will temper somewhat how much of that shows) or, sometimes, focused on their own problems. When in the middle of a dark mood they may withdraw from everyone for periods of time, but an INFJ 4âs Fe can drag them out of self-absorption if someone in emotional crisis needs their help. Theyâre drawn to reach out to you during the darkest crisis points in your life and really be there for you - they know how to deal with the most severe of emotional states and are drawn towards the melancholy element of life. They will prize authenticity and being true to themselves, even if this means diverging from convention, so they often have a unique flair. Highly individualist, donât expect them to follow the crowd in how they present themselves. Creative by nature, they are typically not boring conversationalistsâŠ.yet, at times, their topics may naturally veer towards and linger upon the poignant or tragic elements of lifeâŠor their own problems, for which they may expect your emotional support. INFJ Type 5 The INFJ who may wonder if they are actually INTP or INTJ, they will come across as thinkers and will have a lot of interesting insights. If you are fascinated by the theoretical, you will probably be able to talk with your INFJ 5 friend for hours about their thoughts about life ~ and will find that they have a voracious hunger for knowledge and a very analytical mind. They will be sensitive to your emotional states and care about them because of their Fe, while not coming across as emotional or invasive, and tending to be detached (although a 4 wing will temper that). 5s in general want to be independent, and donât deal well with clinginess or people who âinvadeâ their space too far or violate their privacy, so they may not initiate contact or open up as often as some enneatypes. An INFJ 5âs Fe will make them seem more extroverted than they really are. Fe concern about others will be expressed in ways native to the 5 interaction style, which is less self-revealing (unless in a place they feel safe) than that of some enneatypes. There is a subtlety and depth to them that is not always recognized by those who donât know them well. 5s with Fe can seem aloof even though they have very warm feelings inside, because of thisâŠthe better you get to know them, the more you realize how much rests below the surface. and even when they arenât with the people they care about, they think about their connections with them and feel closer to them. During solitude, they nourish their internal love towards others and sometimes become aware of feelings they werenât conscious of, before. if they become aware of feelings during your absence, they may spill them out suddenly when they are around you againâŠin a somewhat gushily affectionate way, at times. INFJ Type 6 The âunswervingly loyal friendâ INFJ, this friend, once they trust and become devoted to you, can be counted on through thick and thin, no matter what. This is not to say that other types arenât loyal; loyalty definitely isnât limited to 6s; but 6s are notable for this. They are likely to be there for you, supporting you, and âfairweatherâ isnât in their vocabulary. An INFJ 6 is usually kind and likeable, empathetic, and very understanding in a down-to-earth, âmake you feel comfortableâ way. They may (depending on the direction their core fear takes) have a noticeable strength about them, a fortitude and courage that can persevere through difficulty or - despite profound fear - act heroically on behalf of those they care about. They very actively read others and try to sense where others stand in relation to one another and themself, and are very intuitive. 6s in general may doubt how others feel about them or whether others can be trusted. Cp6s in general feel a need to look strong or be proactively confrontational in order to protect themselves, but they are softer than they appear, and a cp6 INFJ is going to temper their tendencies with diplomacy, and use that ability to protect those they care about as well. INFJ Type 7 The âhappy-go-luckyâ-ish INFJ, since their 7 mimics Ne in certain respects, complete with the typical ENFP playfulness, there will sometimes be an ENFP-ish vibe. An INFJ with 7 influence in their tritype is likely to get asked âAre you happy all the time?â or âAre you ever not happy?â by those who do not know them well. While Fe can make any INFJ appear extroverted, it is especially pronounced in those with 7 in their type, because 7s tend to be outgoing, and find happiness in the company of others. INFJ 7s would most likely be typed by others as ENFJs or ENFPs, seeming energized by socializing while possessing the contrarily strong drive to get needed solitude. So one would expect an INFJ 7 to struggle with the introversion vs. extroversion dichotomy and find it difficult to land decisively on either side of the spectrum. Inhibitions may be lacking (but the restraining hand of Ni would hold the INFJ back often, by predicting potential negative consequences of giving in to impulse). Clinginess by others is quite disturbing to them, but their Fe is likely to make them feel an obligation to be kind anyway. Fascinated by a wide variety of things, they will attempt to stay a step ahead of what could make life miserable, or escape the inevitable struggles of life through indulgence in mood-elevating activities. This opens the door for entanglement in such activities, because of the addictive emotional high they provide. 7s with a 6 wing tend to joke around a lot, or enjoy making others laugh. 7s are drawn towards the positive side of life, so they try to cheer up others around them or repel negativity. An INFJ 7 would likely use humor to dispel a negative situation, or to restore harmony and positivity in conflict settings. INFJ Type 8 The passionate, straight-talking, natural-leader INFJ, they are intensity incarnate. There will be a palpable warmth about them (because of Fe), combined with strength - without their having to show off their strength, you will knowthey are a force to be reckoned with. INFJs in general are sensitive to and tend to be guided by their intuition, but an INFJ 8 will rely on their gut even more. Theyâll be able to suss you out quickly and know who you are and what you are capable of, and sense if you are being dishonest, more so than INFJs already do. Fe makes INFJs protective of those they care about, and a healthy 8 is driven to defend and protect anyone they care about - so the combination of the two is double-protectiveness. 8s in general are comfortable in the presence of conflict, while Fe favors harmony, so an INFJ 8 will have those two conflicting attitudes within, which will be evident in their behavior. 8s in general do not want to appear weak and have a need to protect themselves from those who might try to control them, and there are people in the world who deem certain tender displays of Fe as âweakness,â so itâs likely that an INFJ 8âs Fe will look quite different on the outside from that of other enneatypes, although it will be experienced the same on the inside. They will really care about people, and they will feel things deeply, and a healthy 8 will use their dominance and position of power to benefit others. INFJ Type 9 The easygoing, empathetic INFJ with a calming presence, they are easy to talk to, easy to be around, diplomatic in how they interact with others. Their Fe is very evident, in a somewhat understated way. They will be there for you and listen empathetically and know how to comfort you. they want you to feel comfortable around them, and they strive for a harmonious environment, and know very well how to make both happen, often with remarkable skill and charm. They will dislike conflict more intensely than most enneatypes - if they have a 1 wing, they may be avoidant of it in general; and if they have an 8 wing, they may be reluctant to engage unless necessary or angry, but not afraid of it. 9s may intervene between those in conflict in order to re-establish peace. 9s in general seem passive and relaxed, although they have a strong, passionate will about whatever matters to them; you may not see their strong will unless you try to force them into something they donât want to do. Caveat 1: Take into account that an environment where anyone feels secure, or psychological growth, is going to bring out the traits of the enneatype in the direction of their âintegration.â Conversely, a stressed-out individual will appear like a not-so-healthy version of the enneatype in their direction of disintegration. While certain behaviors are typical of each type, behaviors themselves are not diagnostic of enneatype - motivations are - and various types can share the same behaviors while having very different motives for them. I am just pointing out what certain INFJ-enneatype combinations TEND to look like (there will be exceptions and the same type can look very different depending on their psychological state at any given point in time)âŠsince some combinations tend to follow distinctive, recognizable patterns of behavior. Caveat 2: The descriptions I gave largely represent (psychologically) average to healthy versions of those enneatypes. While enneagram theory tends to focus on the negative traits, I was focusing more on the positive and the most obvious traits here. so these arenât intended to be complete delineations of the behavior of each type, just some traits that are easy to notice or recognize when interacting with these types.
Why Ti is cool for INTJs
by Marc Carson at Marcâs INTJ blog
INTJs are big morons. There, I said it.
So many of us INTJs seem to think that somehow thoughts go through some amazing process and become objective, when in fact the only thing thatâs self-evidently objective about the process is that it has some culturally-approved seal of authority on it. Like, say, a scientific study to which we blindly give our allegiance in casual conversation with friends. âI saw a study that said you shouldnât eat X because itâs linked with Alzheimerâs.â
Or, we think we can go through some magical process of becoming objective. Letâs start by memorizing all of the logical fallacies, shall we? That will protect us against wrongness! Weâll be safe from fallacious thinking! (I still shake my head at some of the ridiculous logical-fallacy-quoting Iâve heard from depressed INTJs who canât figure out why they suck at life, but want to filter out every even remotely subjective answer to their problems. Can I get a sympathy cringe? But thatâs for another article)
Or, letâs say we donât just quote some study as evidence of how right we are, and stop there. No, this time we actually dig deeper and see patterns in the data. And before weâre even done reviewing the data, we conclude that pattern X is missing and therefore the research is trash. âSomething something something P-values.â Am I right?
Or, we argue with people and ask for the evidence.
If weâre not asking for the evidence, we imply that no information is intractable to the INTJ brain. Especially no information of which we are not big fans. âTell me,â we say to an unenlightened friend or colleague, âwhich method of yours that youâre so proud of, do you think is the very best that you can recommend to me?â We patiently wait while the person we asked looks around for the nearest fire escape. We wait with one of those comically big hammers behind our back, just like a cat & mouse cartoon. Of course our brains are so big that the dimension of our physicality matters Not.
One.
Whit.
Well, baloney.
All of that stuff we do, all of that objectivity chasing, can get us in real trouble.
When the time comes to be original, when we are confronted with a huge problem that seems specific to us alone, it can completely overpower us.
But this is a ridiculous situation. Why?
Climb the mountain. Ask any INTP guru. Ask any ISTP guru. Ask the zany ENTP guru.
âYou donât get it. You know why? You could find a way out, but youâre not using your brain. Youâre using other peoplesâ brains to do your thinking for you.â
(Letâs get meta: You are on this blog why again? See? Iâm doing all of your thinking for you. Hahahahaha)
Ah, the painful takedown of Ti versus Te. Introverted Thinking versus Extraverted Thinking. Subjective original thought vs. Objective, unoriginal thought. Creating your own really cool wheel versus Not Reinventing Wheels. Brainstorming vs. Googling The Answers in Order to be Efficient. Sysadmin-fun vs. Sysadmin-lazy.
Well, Iâm here to tell you that Ti is indeed important. And yes, I agree that if weâre not using it, weâre not really using our brain, at least not in the ideal way.
When we use Ti, according to Dr. Dario Nardi, we refer to, apply, align, and refine a framework. Dr. Nardi suggests that INTJs study and learn how to apply Ti in their lives.
[âAPPEAL TO AUTHORITY,â I hear some INTJ reader proclaim, as they stomp off, perhaps tabling the issue of wrestling with lifeâs problems for a more optimistic day. Hashtag logicalfallacies.]
Whatâs a framework? Think of a set of rules. For example, âRules for Having a Good Day.â
In fact, donât just think about it, start on it right now. It will involve using your brain. And, perhaps painfully, it will involve lots of subjective thought (only painful if you were really tied to your objectivity-as-ego. Please drop that guard just a little bit, just make more room for the subjective in order to help yourself).
Applying your Te (extraverted thinking) should be natural for you. When you use Te, you typically refer to, align, and refine a measuring device. For example, the scientific method. Or some other standard for measuring thought, results, whatever.
Te is super helpful. Very often INTJs will need to drone on and on about their problems, not in an emotional way, but in a very detached way. Typically what this is doing is clearing a space in which they can measure the extent of their problems and come to some conclusions. Itâs helpful. Itâs healthy.
Going back to Ti, I think most INTJs donât really use it much. But I also think they enjoy it when they do.
Iâm going to bring the blog post to an end here and encourage you to do this exercise:
First, list some problems in your life:
I am doing terrible at my job
I am doing terrible in my relationship with so-and-so
I hate myself for doing unhealthy activity X when Iâm stressed out
Now, for each of those problems:
Refer to a framework or set of rules relating to the problem (do some research OR create your own draft framework, including leverage points that come to mind. I encourage trying the latter because Te will bias you toward the former)
Apply the framework. Put it into practice next time the problem comes up. i. To develop a framework, look for points of leverage. You might isolate specific activities, for example, that really give you a boost in overcoming this specific types of problem.
Refine the framework. Make the framework more elegant over time. i. This is super important. If you let the framework stagnate, you cannot benefit from the compounding energy that results from its continual application and refinement. a. Yes, I do mean that it is like compounding interest in finance. Very good. ii. Yes, this means possibly altering someone elseâs idea with lots of creative license. Fun! a. Yes, a lot of INTJs get stuck here. They donât always like altering things! That was a perfectly objectively good framework with nice clip art to accompany it! What if I break it! What if it blows up in my face after I make changes?
If you persist in this activity I think youâll find an amazing thing happens: Youâll feel like you have a lot more leverage in your life.
Do you see how hands-on it is? You get to build something really powerful. I love it. So:
Try it! Get more subjective. And donât go right for Google to apply your Google-fu to find the worldâs best pre-existing framework, tucked inside a PDF on some website employing weak file download obfuscation. Make your own, make it apply just to the very specific problem that you have. Then make it scale into a world-class framework meriting its own PDF later if youâd like.
I have shared this with other INTJs and it absolutely activated them. I keep a bunch of text files in a folder called âFrameworks.â Under that I have a Work folder, a Family folder, and so on. In âWorkâ thereâs a text file with my own framework for having a great day at work. And another one for dealing with stressful meetings. In my Finance folder, Iâve got one for investing. You got me? See how that might help you? Try it out. You could google up the answers, but donât, this time. This is better. Refine your ownframework, by yourself.
[Also, I think lots of INTJs use or have used Ti already. Maybe you, have, tooâwhen I read about this concept in 8 Keys to Self-leadership I said, âOh, itâs that thing I did that one time in order to get better at bowling.â Well, now I do it a lot more.]
How to deal with each type: A guidebook of sorts
SUBMITTED BY anonymous
INTJ: Remind them that they are a part of humanity as a whole because they tend to forget that. Their ideals are intelligent and well thought and if everybody abided by them, we could actually make things move forward. Do not try to push them in having fun and letting loose until they are ready for that.
INTP: Validate their theories, but donât go TOO much along with them because they have inferior Fe and might feed off too much on that, getting validation on how they were right. Instead, present a counter-argument which their Ne will actually appreciate more.Â
ENTJ: Tell them how their plan makes sense but that youâre still your own person and may have some moral objection to it. But be direct in telling them so, thatâs how they understand things.Â
ENTP: Go absolutely nuts in how you disagree with them because they actually get off on that. But make sure to present logical counter-arguments and not the âvaluesâ kind. Donât remind them of facts they missed. Instead tell them how they are wrong on a broader scale. This thing might mean something to them, but OTHER people see it this other way. Emphasis on âotherâ people because if itâs just YOU, they will slice and dice your arguments.Â
INFJ: Do not make them sound crazy in their ideals. You may kindly criticize them and they will kindly reply. You have to remind them that not everyone can get on board with what they are thinking and that it should not be a personal matter. Make sure that if you disagree with them, you still know where they are coming from.Â
INFP: Understand their unique need for self-expression, but kindly offer them more step by step business like advice. Let them know the results of a technical endeavor. Because if you criticize it as irrational or lazy they will go ahead and do/say the opposite just to prove you wrong.Â
ENFJ: Be careful about rational, well-grounded arguments with this type because they will probably see you as everything that is wrong with society. Instead, let them know you are also a humanitarian but have a different approach to it. Let them know that not everybody is ready to embrace this new ideal society they have in mind but it ultimately does make a lot of sense.Â
ENFP: If they say theyâre totally into something right now, then ask them questions about it. Theyâll go on and on about it but also think you are awesome for asking them. Somehow try to alternate between validating them yet, counter-arguing their ideals. âI see what you mean, butâŠ.â They secretly like that. It lights up their passion yet gives way to their love of debate: Double Whammy!
ISTJ: Understand that they tend to be unshaken in their beliefs and view of the world BUT they are a rational type, so if you can offer a no-non sense counter-argument, that Inferior Ne might light up and let you know youâre actually right upon lengthy contemplation.If they mess up at work, they are open to criticism, but do NOT tell them they are disorganized or irresponsible because they will come up a thousand arguments as to why youâre wrong.Â
ISFJ: Learn to appreciate, if not, understand what they love in life because it means a lot to them. âYouâre stupid for loving thisâ will make you an instant enemy. Understand that they are primarily focused on helping people of all walks of life but at the same time can be torn in understanding otherâs point of views and lifestyles, instead telling you from their perspective what you should do. Which can seem crushing to your own individual needs but they say it as a way to genuinely help you.Â
ESTJ: Be direct and precise in everything you say and do. Donât assume that they are cyborgs because that Tert Ne actually understands, if not appreciates, that everyone is different and operates in a different way. BUT if you tell WHY you do the things you do instead of just rebelling against their wishes, then that might actually light up their thinking function in understand different people operate differently.Â
ESFJ: Do not challenge the status quo and tell them off because you are youâre own person. Instead, TELL them WHY you feel youâre distant from the rest of society because they love to analyse that through their lower Ne/Ti. But just doing the opposite of what they expect from you out of rebellion will be their cue that you are destined for the loony bin. You can actually be frank and open with them so long as you do it in a way that does not seem like a personal attack to them or others. Using sarcastic, dry humor? Fine, but let them know that this is just YOUR style and you mean no offense by it.Â
ISTP: Do not try to control them through schedules and restraints. Understand that they know what they are doing and ultimately, results will speak for themselves. Nagging them to change certain behaviors is also highly unrecommended. Do not try to make them prince (or princess) charming because they hate that.Â
ISFP: Not gonna lie here, they are probably the most difficult type to deal with. Which I prefer to see it as part of their charm. Whereas the INFP may tell you many ways as to how they disagree with you, the ISFP will actually ACT in way you donât want them to just to spite you. They are ultimately gentle however, if you can approach them kindly and understand their world they will be MUCH more open to your rational suggestions. If not, then live and let live and let them learn from their own mistakes. Theyâll ultimately learn through lower Ni/Te why their actions are not paying off, if thatâs the case.Â
ESTP: To get under an ESTPâs good side will require you to be both direct yet, diplomatic. They usually have TONS of friends, but chances are you are in the âacquaintanceâ territory. They are a no-non sense type so if you speak in those terms, they will probably respect you. And yet, if you over do it, then youâre some sort of authority figure that they cannot stand. So essentially, you have to be both firm and open with them, if that makes any sense. Be laid back but solid in what you want and that usually sends them reeling and appreciate you as their middle Ti/Fe sees you as both an agreeable but assertive person.Â
ESFP:Â Very similar to ESTPs, getting on the right side of the ESFP means both understanding who they are but also having no problems speaking in no-non sense terms and telling them brutal truths when the timing is right. Again, just like the ESTPs, they are bound to have a tons of friend, BUT tend to place hierarchy on them if you really get who they are, always coming back to you on logical advice but also expecting you to accept theirs.Â
Exactly correct
INFJ
With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.
Wayne Dyer (via aspiritualwarrior)
Problems, weaknesses, setbacks, regrets and mistakes teach you if youâre willing to learn, or they punish you if youâre not.
Ralph Marston (via quotemadness)
Hogwarts Psychoanalysis by House and Typology : #001 GryffindorÂ
If you do not know what typology is, or you do not know your own typology, please go here before continuing on below.
ENFP
These people are often very strongly opinonated, as most Gryffindors are, and they tend to make their judgments based not upon what they see, but what they feel. First impressions are everything for them, and within these moments they decide whether or not they trust you. Since they are not as stubboringly judging as ENFJs would be, they will not immediately cast you out if they have a bad feeling about you, in fact they will buzz around you trying to see why they feel that way, and whether or not they can change it. They are incredibly emotional, and more often than not they wear their hearts on their sleeves, and they feel more empathy toward how others feel than themselves. This is why they act the way they act, if they do not try to see some kind of good in everyone, it hurts them as an individual, more than it hurts the other person.
INFP
Like ENFPâs, these Gryffindors also rely highly on their intuition at first glance. The majour difference between them is that INFPâs can be much more drawn within themselves, and therefore not as empathetic toward the feelings of others. This means they can make their judgments, and they will try and see the good in others, but very often it is not an extreme mission to them. They will try their best to see the light in you, but if they canât do it, then they will carry on with their lives and go onto whatever other ideas they have. These are the more inwardly adventurous Gryffindors, meaning rather than running out to do things, they would rather have individual hobbies or jobs they work toward, and in this they enjoy themselves greatly.
ENFJ
This is one of the most common types for Gryffindors, as it enhances most of their characteristics. These people are strongly emotional and believe themselves to be involved in everything personally. They are friendly, and when they make their true friendships they remain loyal and true in them, and have mentally given themselves an unbreakable vow to stay true to the people they care about. They expect others to this is as well, so when they have someone betray them, they are quite taken aback, and their emotions can jumble and cloud their judgment, a very bad thing for them, as their judgment is what can carry them along so smoothly in their life. Harry Potter himself is most likely an ENFJ.
INFJ
Out of all possibly types, INFJ is probably the one that Hermione Granger would probably fit best in. These people are brilliant planners, and for every plan they have that fails (which is incredibly rare), they have five more behind it. They are great observers, and can often see a lot of things that others may miss, especially extraverted Gryffindors that may be looking too much into the social aspects ofa situation. INFJ Gryffindors are much better at holding their emotions back when it is needed, however they are strongly feeling. They will often overlook what they feel to help others until they are alone, and then they will give themselves time to consider their own situation, and let their emotions run.
ESTJ
These individuals are hyperaware of the people around them, and are also very socially-oriented. They are big picture thinkers, trying to figure out how their actions or the actions of others can affect everyone as a community, rather than it would affect them. They will always say what is on their mind, rather you like it or not, and this can make them come off as blunt and rude. This is not their intention, they just want for every individual to realize they are not the only person in the world, and learn to think about others before they act. ESTJ Gryffindors can just seem a bit hypocritical at times, because they themselves do not acknowledge the feelings of others before expressing their opinion.
ISTJ
Similar to ESTJs in the way they tend to look at thinks in the form of the big picture, ISTJs have a tendency to walk blindly into a situation. This is because, despite their thinking traits, they have selective thinking. They focus on whatever their judgment and senses tell them they need to pay attention to, and they work with that within their thought process to figure out what course of action they should take. This can lead them to be impulsive, even though they believe they have been perfectly thorough in their examination. An example of a Gryffindor ISTJ would most likely be Seamus Finnigan.
ESFJ
This type is most likely the one in which most of the Weasleys would fall, most notably, Ron. ESFJ Gryffindors are deadly loyal people, and they pick their friends easily and without hesitation. Their quick judgment and sensibility allow them to decide almost immediately who they like, and in this way they are good at deciding who they will want to stick with throughout life. They often put other people before themselves, most especially their friends, and are quick to defend anyone who the believe deserves it. Of course, even with their extreme need to be there for others, in lies a bit of selfishness, and at times if they help without believing they get anything in return, their high emotional scale can backfire, and their temper can fly off.
ISFJ
ESFJ and ISFJ Gryffindors are almost identical in their behaviours, except for one thing. ISFJs are immediately more hesistant in getting close to others, because they are unsure of what the results could be. They will immediately judge and analyze others to see if they are trustworthy, because the worst thing imaginable for them is to be betrayed by someone they thought cared about them. They are like this in every aspect of their lives, and will usually put their feet in to test the water before jumping in. An ESFJ that has been hurt one too many times can quickly mold themselves into an ISFJ, to make sure they donât get hurt again.
ENTP
These individual are sharp, and large seekers of fun. Â They are always trying to look for the brighter side of life, and their thinking ability as well as their outstanding perception can allow them to find it in almost anything. They are very friendly, but can be a bit naive as they are not often trying to look into the minds of others. These people are more focused on the rest of the world, what adventure they can find and where, and this is where intuition comes in, not in a human sense but in a sense of how they can make the most of life. They are often very happy people, as they do not let the opinions of others get in the way. They are only truly upset when they have to stop their ongoing motion.
INTP
These people are a bit more mellow than your average Lion, as they tend to prefer their own company to the company of others. They can be kind to people who try to talk to them, sure, but really they would much rather you leave them alone. They are adventurous not outwardly but intellctually, wanting to challenge their mind at a constant rate. So they are often found doing something they find stimulating, rather it be reading, writing, taking extra classes, anything they find can broaden their horizions and make them a more well developed individual. This is their drive, and what makes them happy. They are much less emotional than other Gryffindors, so long as you leave them be to work with their own flow.
ENTJ
Gryffindors with this type live their life as if it is a mission. They have everything single aspect of it planned out, every goal they have, every action they must take to get to that goal, and what comes after it. They are so strongly ambitious they they are highly close to being Slytherins, but what keeps them as a Gryffindor is their extreme need for justice in any situation. They have a stong sense of right and wrong, and if they believe in something they stick to their guns. ENTJ Gryffindors would make fantastic attorneys, if they ever chose to go into the field of law.
INTJ
Similar to INTPs in the way that they are not as emotionally attached as your average Gryffindor, INTJs are very business-like in their behaviours. They still have aspects of loyalty, but rather than having this to the people around them, they are loyal to themselves. They know what they want, and they will stick to that. They have no problem telling you that you are in their way, or that you are wrong, and they can often come off as blunt. They could care less if you believe them to be rude, because they have the nerve to push through it, and in the end they are strong, and that is what is important to them.
ESTP
ESTP Gryffindors are not individually emotional, but instead are large into knowing or sensing what others are thinking. In Hogwarts, they would be excellent at Divination, as they almost have a sixth sense in knowing what others are thinking, due to their emotional range combining with ESP, and addition of the thinking traits. They do not keep what they percieve about others to themselves, instead they use it to help. ESTP Gryffindors would make brilliant psychiatrists, as they can catch on quickly and have the ability to talk through with another person what is wrong, and what can help.
ISTP
These Gryffindors are hyperaware of their own self, and are completely comfortable in this aspect. They know what is going on within them, or at least they believe they do, and this gives them much self-assurance and confidence. The addition of a large amount of nerve causes them to go for whatever it is they desire, and do not take their introversion as a sign that they are shy, as they certainly or not. The reason they are more strongly expressed as introverts rather than extraverts is because of how self-aware they are, and that they often to not care so much about how others percieve them due to this.
ESFP
The most emotional of any Gryffindor, these people are incredibly sensitive. They are sweet and not as hard-headed or outspoken as most Lions, but they are incredibly close to anyone they care about. They have an overabundance of love, and if someone they consider a friend or family is hurt in anyway, they take part of the pain for them, and feel it just as much. They care for everything, and are willing to go out of their way to help anyone they believe needs it. Their pureness is their curse, as it can put them in situations that they would rather not be in, as the emotions of it take toll on them hard.
ISFP
A good nickname for these could be âenergy absorbersâ because they tend to take in whatever is around them. The combination of SFP in them allows them to understand the deeper aspects of everything, not just other people, and due to their introversion rather than express this as their own emotions, they store it up for further reference, when they may need it. This makes them great observers with a phenomenal memory, and this helps them in many parts of life.
Enneagram 5: The Investigator
Healthy Fives demonstrate true neutrality, possess deep knowledge in several areas of their life, and are eager to share their findings with others. They see themselves as part of things rather than separate from everything, and balance their participation with their observation.
Five Traits
Fives take care of themselves, and believe others should do the same
Fives believe knowledge is essential for survival
Fives can be sarcastic and cynical, but donât always share it
Fives often feel awkward around other people
Fives are suspicious when others ask personal information
Fives do not like others prying into their feelings
Fives need time to process their emotions
Fives would rather observe than participate
Fives hold onto what they have and find others wasteful
Fives guard their time and energy
Fives prefer small gatherings to larger ones (introverted)
Fives fear they do not have sufficient inner resources to function
Fives often felt invisible as a child, and choose to be invisible as an adult
Fives hate being uninformed
Fives find no happiness in material possessions
Fives do not often easily share of themselves with others
Enneagram Wings
5w4: are more creative, sensitive, empathetic, and self-absorbed, eccentric, uncertain of their feelings, and melancholic. 4 makes them more tender with themselves and less emotionally guarded with others.
5w6: are more fearful, anxious, skeptical, and distrusting, but also more social and loyal. They live more in their minds and question authority and the status quo, while also seeking to form alliances with others. Often socially awkward but enjoy forming friendships.
Under stress: Fives act like unhealthy Sevens, where they horde and cling more closely to things, which makes their world feel like it is shrinking. When this happens, they focus on their need for comfort, safety, and independence and ignore others. They become frivolous, disorganized, and distracted, unable to complete tasks, and do not think through the consequences of their behavior. They can be rude, dismissive, and condescending.
When feeling secure: Fives move to the positive side of Eight, and become more spontaneous, outspoken, and physically present, able to want to experience life in all its abundance and courageous enough to do it.
Advice for the 5: do not disconnect from your feelings. Practice building emotional connections to others, and sharing of yourself with your loved ones. Try to experience feelings in the moment, not postpone them for âlater.â You can afford to give away your knowledge, your experiences, and your wisdom to others; doing so, will not make you weaker, but form stronger relationships. Believe thereâs enough to go around. Itâs okay to need someone, or have them need you. Letting someone else serve you can be blessing to them and to you. Start trusting others with your shared experiences. Allow yourself an occasional new luxury. Find an activity that will connect you to your body. Even if you are unsure, step into a conversation rather than falling silent.
Influences on MBTI Types:
ISTJ: stockpiles enormous amounts of information on various subjects, to feel secure in an uncertain world with unpredictable futures (inferior Ne); secretive and often disconnected from their feelings, more than is usual in an ISTJ; resentful when others prove incompetent or âneedyâ; often detached in their romantic relationships, and âsecretiveâ about the past.
ESTJ: confident in utilizing resources and in the workplace, but less social than other ESTJs and more cautious in approaching new projects that involve much risk; deeply analytical and tactical in their approach, with a mentality of âsavingâ rather than spending; may push aside intense feelings and inferior Fi refuse to deal with them, leading to relationship problems; may put too much pressure on their children to be self-reliant and frustrated if they are not.
ISFJ: stockpiles enormous amounts of information on various subjects, to feel secure in an uncertain world with unpredictable futures (inferior Ne); strong Ti development / reliance, so a much more detached Fe user, who does not like to talk about their feelings and may never truly deal with them; careful what information they share with who, and not actively social.
ESFJ: a more âdetachedâ Fe-dom, sometimes reliant on inferior Ti, more secretive and distrustful than other ESFJs; careful what information they share with who, and drained in social situations; often takes an interest in a wide variety of topics, for their own sake and to prepare for possible future problems (tert-Ne). May desperately want deep emotional connections but not know how to forge them.
INTJ: always looking into the future for potential issues and trying to correct them in the present through stockpiling factual knowledge and useful skills; somewhat fearful of too much engagement with the outside world due to inferior Se issues; sometimes deals with numb emotions and/or delayed emotional reactions; selective in their relationships, and not forthcoming in their personal experiences.
ENTJ: confident in utilizing resources and in the workplace, but less social than other ENTJs and without the âexpensiveâ streak often present in tert-Se users (forgoes symbols of power or influence, possibly fearful it may draw undo negative attention); deeply analytical and tactical in their approach; may push aside intense feelings and inferior Fi refuse to deal with them, leading to relationship problems; may put too much pressure on their children to be self-reliant and frustrated if they are not.
INFJ: always looking into the future for potential issues and trying to correct them in the present through stockpiling factual knowledge and useful skills; somewhat fearful of too much engagement with the outside world due to inferior Se issues; strong Ti development / reliance, so a much more detached Fe user, who does not like to talk about their feelings and may never truly deal with them; distrustful of what others may do âin the futureâ with shared information, and not actively social.
ENFJ: a more âdetachedâ Fe-dom, sometimes reliant on inferior Ti, more secretive and distrustful than other ENFJs, often paranoid due to high Ni issues combined with low Ti tendencies to find evidence to support rather than disassemble high Ni âinventions of realityâ; forgoes symbols of power or influence, possibly fearful it may draw undo negative attention, and may scorn others who place emphasis on luxuries or appearances.
ESTP: stronger access to aux-Ti analytical abilities, without the usual emphasis on âliving high and looseâ; more introverted / easily drained, less inclined to take charge; may loop into Fe, and not know how to handle it, but fail to entirely subdue their emotions and wind up frustrated; more fearful of the âpotentialâ outcome of their decisions (inferior Ni).
ISTP: strong desire for independence and isolation, pushes away from others and may forgo human relationships on a deeper level, out of 5 and inferior Fe discomfort with intense emotions in oneself and others; has less emotional outbursts than other Enneagram ISTPs, and more trouble understanding what motivates their feelings; much less âhands onâ in trying new things.
ESFP: hyper aware of the environment and eager to learn useful skills, but deeply secretive about their intense internal emotions, and will take longer to process them away from others; may deliberately delay dealing with them by looping into Te, which they build up so as to feel competent and safe in the external world; more fearful of the âpotentialâ outcome of their decisions (inferior Ni).
ISFP: super secretive loners who are more analytical, less emotional, more detached, and more interested in impersonal knowledge, which will help them feel safe in the external world; determined to be self reliant, awkward with emotions, and sometimes âblockedâ from the true intensity of their feelings. Strong desire to âpredictâ what is coming and prepare for it (Se/Ni development).
ENTP: a more focused, less distracted ENTP, who knows a hundred facts about a thousand different things, but finds it hard to retain details, which makes them less secure in dealing with the external sensory world; more introverted / easily drained, less inclined to take charge; may loop into Fe, and not know how to handle it, but fail to entirely subdue their emotions and wind up frustrated. May mistype as an INTP.
INTP: strong desire for independence and isolation, pushes away from others and may forgo human relationships on a deeper level, out of 5 and inferior Fe discomfort with intense emotions in oneself and others; often takes an avid interest in and tries to perfect useful knowledge in many different areas, seeks security in routine and prone to severe hording / holding onto things long past their âexpirationâ date.
ENFP: insecure about the impractical nature of their Ne-dom status, and will work hard to compensate for it through practical knowledge; fearful the future may find them âunpreparedâ; suspicious of others, deeply secretive about their intense internal emotions, and will take longer to process them away from others; may deliberately delay dealing with them by looping into Te, which they build up so as to feel competent and safe in the external world.
INFP: super secretive loners who are more analytical, less emotional, more detached, and more interested in impersonal knowledge, which will help them feel safe in the external world; determined to be self reliant, awkward with emotions, and sometimes âblockedâ from the true intensity of their feelings; feels âdetached from the worldâ and takes an interest in many different things, to compensate for it (Ne/Si).
- ENFP Mod