Ok late message but just wrapped up ep 10.
Man if episode 8 was unravelling, and episode 9 was trying to pretend the relationship never happened, episode 10 is just YSL being SO past the point of being able to care or process emotions. I genuinely thought he'd have a breakdown when he saw the cameras. But no, he forces FX to reveal his hand by calling for an escort.
Even when he is at his lowest point, he doesn't let go of his rational side. I love YSL as a character.
And I'm really seeing the parallels to gothic romances where more than individual humans, YSL and FX embody good and evil. But the draw here, what really twists the knife is that they are human!! They are SO Human and so broken and damaged and where YSL tries to soften his sharp edges or hide them away from others to reduce the risk of cutting them with it. FX greets people jagged edge first, a leather glove hiding the rusting and broken razor blade within it.
The brother was just very very irritating and so freaking entitled it's unbelievable. You cannot blame YSL for finally reaching his limit when he had the epiphany that he would never be able to satisfy his brother's greed. But also, he bore so much of that verbal abuse just out of respect to his adopted mother, only to have it thrown back at him.
It was interesting that FX was also low key annoyed at the brother for this stunt, and then quite ready to push him off the ledge himself.
The move with Bai Ting was brutal, and truly how is FX doing the EXACT WRONG ACTION every time??? The teaser for the next episode was brutal too. Looks like YSL has essentially given up on his life, almost accepted that he's been trapped and cornered, and he's just going to suffer through it.
Hmmm it was another lull episode for me. Its still the tension being diffused after ep 8.
P. S. - the scene where FX accuses YSL of not being able to top anymore reeked of internalized homophobia and was one of the worser ways in which FX has assaulted YSL I think.
where YSL tries to soften his sharp edges or hide them away from others to reduce the risk of cutting them with it. FX greets people jagged edge first
YESSSS! I think FX actually does hide his jagged edges to some extent on first impressions but is just so ready to whip them out and act like that's the whole of his personality. Until because of his behavior he makes it true: he is All Bad. Bai Ting as the final line he knows he shouldn't cross but does anyway and the threat that finally breaks YSL is just </3
I honestly love the miserable relationship between You Shulang and Zhang Chen and the vibe that You Shulang would have genuinely supported him FOR EVER until he finds out he's been poisoned by his trash father. Like if it was still the two of them and their mother against the world, You Shulang would have stayed in that role forever, but the betrayal of Zhang Chen actually letting his father back into his life and way of thinking is a betrayal/corruption he can't come back from. I've started the novel now and I'm definitely going to keep my eyes peeled for information on the dad because the fact that You Shulang is that all-or-nothing "You chose that guy? There's no hope for you." about him says SO MUCH. I'm assuming he hurt their mother like a lot a lot a lot.
Anyway yeah Zhang Chen is annoying and exploitative of You Shulang's patience and money and sense of obligatory love and kindness and just like... if FX fumbling YSL was hard to watch, his little brother pushing away and blaming a family member who loves him so much and stood by him is next level character fucking himself over. I imagine there's a post-canon future where Zhang Chen regrets this every day for the rest of his life but it's too late :)
It was so funny that Fan Xiao and Shi Lihua were even like wow that guy sucks about Zhang Chen though seriously ahaha
And okay so for me, the thing with the scene where Fan Xiao twists the knife about You Shulang's sexual preferences is that it's less about Fan Xiao's attitudes about queerness/masculinity/sex and more about You Shulang's - maybe that's what you were saying, but either way I'm with you on that it was one of the most devastating scenes in the entire show for me. Where the assault is that Fan Xiao has been watching You Shulang through the cameras, and despite You Shulang's incredibly skillful attempt to assert his agency by fucking someone on camera and then throwing in Fan Xiao's face that he now prefers topping (i.e. he's tooootally moved on from you, thanks bye), Fan Xiao has been nonconsensually watching him enough to know based on, implicitly, You Shulang's MASTURBATION habits, that that's a lie.
And Fan Xiao is trying to assert his claim on You Shulang and prove he hasn't moved on, that his body still prefers Fan Xiao, which to be clear is abusive and controlling, I just don't think the motivation on his end is to tap into You Shulang's issues but to establish ownership. (WHICH IS STILL VERY BAD, lmao, he just ends causing harm he wasn't looking to cause.) But for You Shulang the entire notion of being a less "respectable" gay man, a less straight-passing gay man, is tied up in that traumatic childhood flashback where he was told gay perversion makes him unlovable and unwantable by family/community/society. All the freaky feral sex we know they were having (based on for example the scratches all over Fan Xiao's back in episode 8 lol), where You Shulang was actually enjoying himself and finding satisfaction it's implied he never found with Lu Zhen, now exists in his mind as confirmation of his perverted deviancy which drove the bullies to target him and kill his mother.
Sob lol just, that flashback was simultaneously the most bombastic piece of character information they could have given me, like I am going to be obsessed with You Shulang for the rest of my life now, and so so so sooooooooooooooooooo SO hard to watch, omfg.
But basically yeah, I agree w/ you it's one of the worst things we see FX do! I don't think his goal was to emasculate YSL or trigger what he did, but his access to YSL's body and his access to the cameras and his access to his knowledge of their shared consensual experiences, the way he has betrayed his trust so completely and is using what Shulang gave him freely + nonconsensual continued surveillance to try to own him, which are all so evil and horrible on their own, tap into You Shulang's actual deepest issues and fears and traumas.
(I wrote a post at the time on my thoughts on internalized homophobia in the drama, if you want to read even moreeee of my yapping on this lol. This episode really set my brain on fire.)
Episode 11 was the hardest episode for me to watch by far, so please be prepared! There is a lot of onscreen sexual assault where Fan Xiao tries to initiate sex, You Shulang pulls away or rejects him, and Fan Xiao forces him. It's kind of symbolic of where their relationship is at at that point but I was still startled by how explicit it is and how many times it happens. The relationship is at its most controlling, isolating, and abusive, and You Shulang is at his most numb, broken, and dead inside. So yes I would say it's the most brutal episode of all of them by far.
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