Just had the most diabolical thought about Eleven and Clara.
If Clara is scattered across his timeline and he spends hundreds of years on Trenzalore, does that mean once every eighty or so years a new Clara is born who grows up to fight that war with him and grow old with him? Does he grieve her death a dozen times before sheâs even finished with Christmas? Does he live all those lifetimes with her to the point that four billion years will later feel like nothing in comparison to all those years he spent with her in a battlefield?
Is that why he regenerates into an older man devastated by war? Because thatâs who he was on Trenzalore and each Clara loved him just as much as the first, the last, and the next?
[ 2 ] before i love you na, na, na
i'm gonna leave you na, na, na
before i'm someone you leave behind
i'll break your heart so you don't break mine
Kieran x MC ; Kieran learns of love and heartbreak in a week, and swears he never will again.
words: 4111
(rewrite of the Indigo Disk DLC from Kieran's POV, originally written before it came out but now includes scenes from the DLC aprox. 2 years has passed between DLCs)
part of takeaway series / cross-posted on AO3
The days pass by quickly, and Kieranâs life goes on like normal. He barely pays attention to much, goes to League Club meetings like normal and beats everyone there without a word. Life is mundane and nothingâs a challenge anymore after his grind to be League Club Champion.Â
He doesnât think much about it when Drayton asks to meet in the cafeteria after their meeting one day.Â
Drayton goes ahead first, to âsecure them a tableâ, while Kieran and the other League members clean up the club room. Itâs not much of a mess, but Lacey always insists that they should leave rooms the way they originally were and Kieran kind of agrees.Â
And he canât ever manage to get away quick enough before Lacey pulls him back, unlike Drayton.Â
The four of them show up to the cafeteria, and find Drayton half-lying down on the table with a chair pulled out beside him. The cafeteriaâs noisier than usual, even before the four of them stepped in, with everyone chattering about something but Kieran can barely pick out the words.
âWhat did you want to talk to me about?âÂ
âNothing much, just thought we could grab a bite.â Drayton isnât fazed, but isnât smiling for once and that raises suspicion in Kieran, âWhere else to do that but the cafeteria?âÂ
Kieran shoves his hands into his pockets and turns away, ready to walk out, before Drayton says, âSo I canât swing a lunch date with you, even with your old pal?âÂ
âWhat are you-â Kieran turns back around, his eyes following where Draytonâs looking off to the side, and cuts himself off when all he hears in his ears is his own heartbeat.Â
When he sees her again, heâs struck with the thought that she hasnât really changed.Â
She wears her hair down now, in soft curls that brush against her shoulders. Sheâs wearing the Blueberry Academy uniform, with the cravat and long pants, instead of her tie and skirt back in Kitakami.Â
But her shoes are still the same black loafers, eyes still concealed by silver and blue sunglasses, hair still reflects bright purple and her face is still in a permanent smile despite sipping on a milkshake.Â
âVioletta?âÂ
âKieran!â She makes sure to put her milkshake down on the table first, before she waves at him with a growing smile as if sheâs forgotten about Kitakami and is just seeing an old friend after a while. Her voice is still soft and sweet, like a carefully crafted melody. He hates that she remembers his name, and uses it so familiarly as if it belongs there.Â
âWhy are youâŠâ
âDid you forget? Sheâs our new exchange student,â Drayton smirks up at him from where he lays, and Kieran curls his hands into fists in his pockets because yes, he had forgotten but heâd be damned if he were to admit it and see Draytonâs smirk grow.
âReally?â He turns to Lacey, who perks up and smiles.
âYup! Director Cyrano introduced her to me just this morning, when she arrived.â
Just this morning, huh.Â
âWeâre already pretty tight,â Drayton slings an arm around her shoulder, âI even asked her to join the BB League, since sheâs already a champion back in Paldea and all.âÂ
This draws outrage from the other members, but Kieran canât register a word from them as he stares at Violetta. She takes a hesitant seat next to Drayton, sips on her milkshake with darting eyes. Her eyes follow whoeverâs talking at the moment, listening intently and reacting to everything, which helps Kieran keep track of how each member is feeling.
But it also reminds him of when she used to look at him like that, hanging off every word whenever he told her about Ogerpon and Kitakami. Her giggles are the same, the way her brows furrow is the same, but the way she looks at him now is a little⊠different.Â
Her fingers fiddle with the straw, and her eyes dart away from him the second they meet, and he canât help but feel a little triumphant.Â
Heâs managed to make her nervous.Â
Heâs not sure how, but heâs done it. And he hopes this continues.Â
âWell,â Drayton starts, âWhat say you, reigning BB League Champion, our almighty Kieran?â
She stares up at him with wide eyes, expectant, and his stomach jumps to give him a temporary boost of confidence.
âI donât care who it is,â Kieran stares her down, sees her eyes shake but she still holds his gaze, âI donât lose.âÂ
âHeh, guess we got our answer,â Drayton smirks up lazily at him, but Kieran barely acknowledges him. He continues staring down Violetta, who only holds his gaze for a moment after he speaks but she turns away almost immediately.Â
Good. I am your better, I am the best in the school.
I donât lose.Â
He turns and walks away after a moment, the other three following behind him. He can faintly hear Drayton laughing, and his stomach turns at everything thatâs happened in the past five minutes.Â
(x)
The next time he sees her is a few days later, when heâs wandering around the halls at night.
He canât tell if this was another figment of a dream.
âWhy are you here?â He stands more than a few feet away from her, and leans against the wall with his arms crossed. She jumps a little, snatches her arm away from the glass and smiles sheepishly as if sheâd been caught stealing, and Kieranâs lips pull down a little further.
âI couldnât sleep, so I decided to walk around.â She offers an embarrassed smile, a light pink coating her cheeks as she giggles, and Kieran hates that his heart still skips a beat at the sound.Â
She takes a few steps towards him, and he has to put all his weight into his feet just to root himself there to not appear weak. He canât really stop looking at her as she crosses, and all he can think about is how Ogerponâs doing in her care and if theyâve forgotten about what theyâd done to him. The thought leaves his stomach lurching, and itâs only then can he turn away and direct his eyes to the ground, hands clenching and unclenching by his side.Â
âAnyways, I think Iâm a little lost now,â he sees her hand reach out for his sleeve, and he quickly goes back to crossing his arms to avoid it, âDo you mind walking me back to the dorms?â
He wants to be a worse person and say no, he wants to leave her lost and awake out in the middle of the hallways but his heart clenches at the thought, so he nods and gestures to her to follow.Â
He walks her to her temporary dorm in silence. The only way he knows sheâs following along is the click-clack of her shoes. Every so often, he glances at her from the corner of his eye and sees her fidget with her glove or the sleeves of her shirt. He fights the urge to do the same.Â
âYouâve grown taller.â She giggles from beside him, and he turns fully to look at her. Sheâs not wrong, he now stands a good head taller than her, probably more if he adjusted his posture, and she has to tilt up to look him in the eye. Though she doesnât, she stares straight ahead and his lips turn down even more.
He lets out a huff as a reply, and she giggles again, though not as light as it was before. He watches as she wraps her arms around herself, and lowers her head to stare at the ground, hair falling forward to shield her face.Â
He knows that posture, that self-comforting rubbing of her arms, and he feels his lips twitch up. It feels too good, knowing heâs the one looking down at her this time, knowing that this is his home turf and she canât take anything away from him now. Â
âYour school is beautiful, very different from Uva.â He watches her eyes darting around the hallways, lingering on the various medal and trophy cases theyâve won from international competitions that decorate their walls. He huffs another reply, and he turns his head away when she turns hers to look at him.Â
âI didnât realise how many trophies you guys would have. You must all be really strong.âÂ
She giggles again, but it makes his eye twitch and his jaw tense. Thereâs something about what she says that makes him feel like sheâs looking down on him again, with eyes full of pity and sadness and again, that brief feeling of fulfillment is ripped away from him because she said a few words.Â
He doesnât offer a reply this time, and they fall back into their tense silence.Â
Once they reach her door, she turns to him with a smile, âThanks for showing me the way. I canât wait to look around more.âÂ
He lowers his eyes to hers, and nods as polite acknowledgement. She lingers, fingers fiddling with her keycard as she looks between her room and his face. He can hear her nails tapping on the plastic, and he waits for her to say what she looks like she wants to say, leaning against her door frame with his arms crossed.Â
âIâll see you soon.â Her smile wavers with her words, before she turns to close the door.Â
He reaches for her sleeve before he realises. It makes her jump, and he swallows a disbelieving chuckle when she turns around with wide eyes.Â
âMeet me at the entrance tomorrow night,â he glances at her and sees her brows furrow and eyes widen. Heâd understand if she was confused, but her face brightens up and he sees her eyes turn into crescents within a second, and he hates that he doesnât feel angry.Â
âI want to battle you. Come when you are ready.â He lets go of her sleeve, and immediately turns to leave after issuing his challenge.Â
(x)
The next night, he sits at the entrance and waits for her. He fiddles with his Pokeball, Hydrapple hopping around his feet. During occasional glances around the hall, he notices students walking past and whispering, but he looks back down to his feet too soon to notice when they stop.Â
He doesnât know how long he waits, but long enough for every student to clear out and leave the entrance empty. Chatter is replaced by the echoes of Hydrapple's syrup splatters. He can feel like Pokeballs rustle, twitching and restless next to his legs. His fingers twitch, wanting to let them out.Â
No, Iâll surprise her.Â
Iâll show her Iâm better.Â
Instead his hands start clenching and unclenching on his lap, feet tapping along to his Hydrappleâs hops. He tells himself heâs not nervous, scoffs at the idea even, but his heart is a few hundred miles a second and his breath is stuck in his stomach. It almost feels like heâs about to pass out until a pair of shoes appear in front of him.Â
âItâs late. Why are you out here?âÂ
He groans and rubs his temple.Â
âIâm waiting for someone.âÂ
Carmine kicks at his shoes, âTheyâre not coming. Go to sleep.âÂ
âIâll wait.âÂ
âFor who?â Carmine kicks at his shoes again, dangerously close to stepping on them this time.Â
âWho do you think?âÂ
âI donât know, Kiki,â Carmine sneers and kicks his shoe harder, âWhy donât you tell me?â
âIâm waiting for Violetta! Who else would it be?â He snaps his head up, gritting his teeth and staring his sister in the eyes. He sees her flinch and take a step back, before she clenches her hands beside her and glares back at him.Â
âHow was I supposed to know? Maybe you should leave anyway, maybe she doesnât want to see you.â She spits out at him, wriggling her nose at him. She slaps the heel of her palm against his forehead, as if to tell him to get the idea out of his head.Â
Heâs ready to snap back at her, until he hears click clacking footsteps behind Carmine and he shifts his eyes to where it comes from.Â
Violettaâs running up to him, curls bouncing with every step, Lacey following close behind her with furrowed brows. Hydrappleâs already bouncing up to the two of them, and Kieran stands up immediately and follows behind, pushing past Carmine, speeding up just enough so that she couldnât grab onto him.Â
âDid I make you wait? Iâm so sorry!â Violetta stops right in front of him with an apologetic smile, hands clasped in front of her. Lacey stands behind her, bangs stuck stick straight to her forehead. But Violetta was ever so perfect, not a hair out of place or a drop of sweat on her face, even with her panting. Because of course Violetta, being Violetta, could never look like she put in effort.Â
Iâll ruin her.Â
âHi Kieran,â Lacey gives an awkward smile and wave, and he acknowledges her with a nod before he looks back at Violetta.Â
âI got lost again cause your school is so big! But Lacey found me wandering around and walked me here, â Violetta turns away from Kieran and it makes him unreasonably irritated, âThanks again. Iâm not sure I said that earlier.âÂ
âDonât worry about it.â Lacey brushes her off, but her lips pull into a frown, âAre you sure you want to do this right now though? Itâs late.âÂ
âOh,â Violetta straightens, and brushes off the non-existent dust on her clothes, âDonât worry about it, whoâs gonna know?â
Lacey gives both of them a disapproving look, and huffs with arms crossed, âIâll stay around to make sure you guys stay safe.âÂ
Violetta nods, and Kieran canât help but chew the inside of his cheek when she giggles at Lacey, and she places a hand on Laceyâs own, âDonât worry so much, itâs just a battle.âÂ
He bites his cheek so hard he tastes blood, and heâs grabbing Violettaâs wrist to get her attention before he realises it. Violetta looks up at him with raised brows and a questioning smile, and Kieran just stares at her with words stuck in his throat.Â
âRight, weâre here to battle.â Violetta bounces with her statement, and Kieran nods with furrowed brows. âLetâs go then! Are you ready?âÂ
Kieran drops her hand, looks up and sees Carmine and Lacey staring at the two of them with furrowed brows, and just nods. âYou can stand on that side,â Kieran nods his head towards one end of the entrance, and walks towards the other end. Lacey follows Violetta, while Carmine chooses to stand behind him.Â
Once they get settled, Kieran calls out, âAre you ready?â
âI came prepared, donât worry!â Violetta shouts back from the other end, still with a bright smile.Â
âGood luck, Kieran!â Lacey shouts out, and Violetta echoes it to him, louder than Lacey.
Kieran just nods at them, and prepares himself to battle. The first thing he does is tie his hair back, and he sees Violetta staring at him. Violetta tilts her head, smiles a little smaller, and he cocks an eyebrow at her. She shakes her head and gives the brightest smile heâs seen since sheâs arrived, as if to make up for it dropping a little earlier, and Kieran narrows his eyes.Â
The battle is a blur, as expected. He knows he took down her Ceruledge first, and his heart is a little lighter when it drops to its knees, despite taking his Porygon Z along with it. Her Tikaton easily gets rid of his Grimmsnarl and Dragonite, and almost takes out his Incineroar before it falls.Â
âYouâve gotten stronger!â Violetta shouts from across the field, and it only serves to annoy him further. Is she mocking him? Was he really never strong to her?Â
âYouâve gotten weaker.â He canât help but say back to her, and she freezes. He takes the opportunity to attack her Ninetales twice with his Politoed, and it shakes her up when her Ninetales cries out before going down. Her Leafeon is wounded when his Incineroar takes an, admittedly, unfair swipe at its leg while Violetta debates on who to send out next. Her nose crinkles at his Incineroar, who glowers at her and Kieran has just enough guilt to glance away.
His attention is back on the field when she sends out her Sinistcha, who flys over to Leafeon and to pour some tea into its mouth.Â
âRemember that Poltchageist we saw at the festival? Itâs grown, hasnât it?â Violetta shouts from across the field again, and Kieran feels his frustration get stronger because of course he does.Â
He does because she asked him, so innocently, what the mark on the corner of its feet meant, and Kieran was so happy for her when he explained it was a sign of authenticity. Heâd never seen one before, not in the wild at least, and seeing one with her felt right, it was another first heâs sharing with her and he was so sure itâd be the first of many experiences heâd revel in in the future.Â
The rest of the battle goes by as if he was on autopilot, and heâs not sure what happens after but he wins.
He wins and he still feels no joy, because sheâs laughing as she calls her Milotic back into its Luxury Ball, and she wipes her forehead but she still looks so unbothered he has to grit his teeth so he doesnât shout.Â
Why-Â
Violetta starts to make her way to him, a large smile on her face, before slow claps from the side draw both their attention away.Â
âAs expected from our Champion, she was no match for you, huh?â Drayton walks towards the both of them, ignoring Lacey running to stop him.Â
âDrayton, would you just-â
âSo how was it, Violetta?â He deliberately stops in front of Violetta, in between her and Kieran and just tall enough for him to block his view.Â
âHeâs gotten a lot stronger, I was a bit surprised.â Violettaâs giggle mixes with her last word, and Lacey manages to pull hard enough to make Drayton stumble to the side enough for Kieran to catch Violettaâs eyes. âYouâve grown a lot, Kieran.â
Kieranâs jaw relaxes, and he nods.Â
âWell, looks like she can take on the league challenge. We should register you in the morning.â Drayton shrugs off Lacey and slings an arm over Violetta, and Kieranâs stomach simmers when Drayton directs a small smirk over to him.Â
âYouâre not registered with Blueberry Academy yet?â Lacey sounds incensed, and Kieran figures a part of him knew before the battle that she wasnât registered yet. She wouldnât lose to him otherwise.Â
âWe donât want a stain on her record just yet. Câmon, let her start after a good nightâs rest!â Drayton detaches himself from Violetta to nudge Lacey, and Carmine finally steps forward from behind Kieran to hit Draytonâs shoulder.Â
âWhy are you pushing this so hard? Just let Violetta enjoy her time here.âÂ
âCâmon, donât you want to see her beat Mighty Champion Kieran over there? Show off how strong she is?âÂ
Carmine bristles at that, glances at Kieran whoâs staring at her, waiting for her answer.Â
âYouâre up to something, arenât you?âÂ
Drayton laughs, âOf course not! Itâs all her idea, right Violetta?âÂ
Kieran catches Violettaâs eyes again, and watches her eyes dart between everyone from behind her sunglasses. Her fingers fidget with the space between her thumb and index, before folding behind her, and she gives a sheepish smile, âYeah, it was.âÂ
Now he knows better.Â
âThere you go, sheâs just a little go-getter wanting to do great things.â Draytonâs the most smug Kieranâs heard in a long time, but he canât bring himself to really care. This night meant nothing, her loss means nothing and it wonât mean anything until she registers into the school system and her crushed chances of being BB League Champion are recorded permanently in where he reigns.Â
âWeâll get you registered tomorrow.â Itâs the last thing Kieran says before he walks off. Nobody tries to stop him, and he hears them continuing conversation the entire time heâs leaving.Â
(x)
At noon, Kieran hears Drayton at the registration counter before he sees him.Â
âWe Elite Four talked it out real quick, my friend hereâs good to go!âÂ
He walks out of the long tunnel that connects the entrance to the rest of the school, and turns to see Violettaâs back and Drayton leaning against the counter. The registration attendantâs obviously not amused by Drayton, and busies herself with the screen in front of her, who sighs loudly, probably thinking of how he can be more âconvincingâ. Â
âIf you canât register me, itâs fine-âÂ
Drayton interrupts Violetta with a hand in front of her face, âWe discussed this, remember? Itâs cool.â Drayton smiles lazily at Violetta, before he turns and catches Kieranâs eyes and it transforms into a smirk. He leans closer to Violetta, and whispers something to her, covering his mouth with a hand.Â
Kieran stiffens, Drayton eyes are on him the entire time, until Violetta jerks away from him, face red and eyes wide. Kieran and Drayton snap their eyes to her. Sheâs holding her cheek with one hand, staring at Drayton, who still has a lazy smirk on, and Kieran has never felt more confused. Werenât they close? What did Drayton do to make her jump like that?Â
His left hand curls into a fist, and starts tapping against his thigh as he stands frozen at the side, only the sound of bustling students filling the space between the three of them.Â
Violetta takes a few steps back, and her back bumps into Kieran just as Drayton straightens and says, âKieran!âÂ
âKieran!â Violetta spins to face him, shoulders raised up to her ears and eyes shaking. His hands reflexively come up to hover at her sides, ready to steady her should she fall. Heâs never seen her so off guard before, almost skittish in how sheâs looking around everywhere. Looking at her pulls at his heart, makes him want to pull her close and tell her itâs fine, heâs here.Â
Instead he lowers his hands and fists them up by his sides.Â
âHeâs telling the truth.â Kieran turns to the registration attendant, âIâm allowing Violetta to join the BB League.âÂ
The flustered attendant rushes to register Violetta, who still canât look him in the eye, almost hyper focused on answering the attendantâs questions.Â
âDidnât expect you to ride up in shining armour and save the day,â Drayton crosses his arms in front of him, and leans against the counter, seemingly⊠content?Â
âI figured they wouldnât listen to you,â Kieran pretends heâs unaffected by Draytonâs smugness, tilting his head to crack his neck like he just woke up, âStop trying to play puppet master.âÂ
âI already told you,â Drayton puts up his hands, âIâve no ulterior motives. Itâs all Violettaâs idea.âÂ
The attendant calls for Violetta, who quickly turns around to give all the relevant information, avoiding eye contact with both of them standing near the counter. Kieran canât help but watch her, hands politely folded in front of her and a small smile as she practically sings every word. Sheâs bright, if a bit sheepish, when asked to take a photo for her entry and itâs surprisingly contagious as Kieran finds himself smiling a bit as well.
âAlright, youâre all ready to officially take on the Blueberry League!â The attendant smiles at Violetta, who thanks her and turns back to the two, shaking Kieran out of his smile.Â
âVioletta,â Kieran furrows his brows, and tucks his hands into the pockets of his shorts, âYou better not go losing to anyone else before me.âÂ
She widens her eyes a bit, blinking like an owl, before laughing with a wide smile, âLike Iâd lose!â
Kieran nods, and turns around, hiding a smirk with a lowered head, âGood.â
"That should be long enough for me to jack off at least two more times. He'll stand no chance against my empty balls and desensitized dick. I'll be sure to win this session."
"If he were Kira, he'd likely to use this time to jack off again... No... Maybe several times. It would be wise to bring my stroker with me to the gym so I can get at least another load out between sets. Such a dangerous foe, one can never be too cautious."
i just found out the ship name for Kieran x Juliana is Dipplinshipping and that's so cute??? omg
i don't know if i should tag the fic as dipplinshipping tho cause it's not julianna?? it's my mc, technically and every mc is different and she doesn't look like the default julianna so I just-
if someone tells me to stop, i will but i'll just leave it there first
[ 1 ] before i love you na, na, na
i'm gonna leave you na, na, na
before i'm someone you leave behind
i'll break your heart so you don't break mine
Kieran x MC ; Kieran learns of love and heartbreak in a week, and swears he never will again.
words: 2209
(rewrite of the Indigo Disk DLC from Kieran's POV, originally written before it came out but now includes scenes from the DLC
aprox. 2 years has passed between DLCs)
part of takeaway series / cross-posted on AO3
Some people call it obsessive, but Kieranâs always been a little too much for most.Â
It used to be for Ogerpon and her stories. He knew every word by heart, recited it like a pledge to strength and bravery and courage every night with the hopes that heâll internalise enough of it and wake up the next morning a new person. It was his routine for as long as he remembered, for a good fifteen years of his life, he did the same thing every night.Â
And then she came, with her aviators and shining leather shoes and matching bag, hair pinned and tied back into a deceivingly sweet, innocent style that he couldnât help but stare at. She was so different from what he knew, so out of place in small homely Kitakami, yet she ran around like she lived there her entire life. She looked like one of the Unovan girls back at Blueberry Academy, surrounded by their gaggle of friends and always telling one exaggerated story or another about someone in their class, who only looked at him with disgust and mockery and actively avoided him.Â
The exact sort of person he wanted to avoid back home.Â
But she⊠wasnât like that. At all. She made sure to smile with everyone she was talking to, her voice was soft and every sentence was sung to the melody of the Starly around the island. She laughed so easily, and for once, he didnât feel like he was being mocked when someone laughed around him. She put her all into each thing she did, even small things like posing for a picture, and she listened to all his ramblings and he had never felt so acknowledged by someone.Â
Violetta .
It was a little unnerving, especially when her sunglasses hid her eyes so well, how quickly he found himself comfortable around her. And then she called him her friend so enthusiastically, with a wide smile and soft laughter, and his heart skipped a beat.Â
He thinks she would love Wisteria Pond, would probably float amongst the trees like its rightful spirit guardian, hair and eyes blending into the flowers. Maybe he could ask for a few more days in Kitakami, just to show her around more. Thereâs six wonders after all.
Maybe after the festival, heâd be able to choke up enough courage to ask her out.Â
She fit perfectly into an old jinbei and his grandma tied her hair into a semi-traditional side ponytail. When she took off her sunglasses, he swore not even their sunsets could match how vivid the purple in her eyes were. He was almost glad they couldnât find a mask for her, her eyes shouldnât have been hidden for so long. And they were just as expressive as her, in the way they caught the light and reflected differently with every emotion.
He liked to pretend the festival was an almost-date. Their fingers brushed when he handed her a candy apple, and maybe he saw a hint of a blush on her face when she took it. And then they walked back together, and all she had to tell him was that she and Carmine werenât laughing at him back there, that she just wanted to enjoy the stars when Carmine came and she loved Kitakami and spending time with him, and he believed her and apologised and trusted her entirely.Â
Then she lied again.Â
And every time she looked at him afterwards, it was with furrowed brows and a smile that never quite reached her eyes, and it hurt more than when he was the school outcast. Suddenly, he was back to being the outsider looking in as his sister took all of Violettaâs time away, taking the one person he thought he had away from him, and monopolising her attention and it⊠it was burning him up. And the only way he ever knew to get rid of this burning was by winning battles back in Blueberry Academy, and he directed it all towards Violetta because she was supposed to be his during their time in Kitakami, not his sisterâs, and she lied to him and still had that stupid smile on her face and he couldnât wait to wipe it off.
But it was Violetta, and she was beautiful. And sweet. And soft.Â
And strong.Â
Of course she was strong, heâs known that since their first meeting after she beat both him and Carmine without breaking a sweat, but he was stronger than then.Â
And so was she.Â
She beat him every time, and he saw the pity in her eyes grow every time and the burning in him only got stronger. Right in front of Ogerpon, she beat him without breaking a sweat again and he knew he didnât stand a chance. He watched her when she took down Ogerpon and her masks, saw Ogerpon run up to her and cling to her legs and knew he lost the last hope of strength he had clung onto for so long.Â
It was all her fault.Â
It was all Violettaâs fault.Â
If she hadnât come on that stupid field trip with her school, they wouldnât have met. She would have never known about Ogerpon, nor of him, and he could have kept his stories and beliefs to himself and maybe one day he wouldâve been strong enough to have Ogerpon accept him.Â
If she hadnât come on that stupid field trip, he wouldnât have known she existed and he couldâve lived the rest of his life not knowing how badly it hurt to have been betrayed by someone you thought was unapologetically open and honest; he wouldnât have known how it felt to have someone call him a friend without regrets.Â
If she hadnât come on that stupid field trip, he could have lived the rest of his life not knowing what heartbreak felt like.Â
Instead, he tasted it thrice.Â
Itâs bitter, and uncomfortable to swallow, and it makes him want to throw that candy apple up. Itâs sour, makes his whole body clench up and his eyes squeeze shut in the hopes that heâll forget but itâs always the same shade of purple he sees behind his eyelids.Â
She never put her sunglasses back on after the festival, even after changing back to her Uva Academy uniform and redoing her hair back into its intricate twists and braids.Â
He wishes she had.
He spends the better part of the next two years training. Everyone else would say heâs spent every second training.Â
Carmine had let him simmer in his âteenage angstâ, and what she assumed, grief Ogerponâs leaving of Kitakami before going back to how she was a month later. Kieran fell into the same rhythm sheâd set, but found he wasnât as affected by it anymore with something else constantly chewing at his mind.Â
âKiki, are you okay?â She had pulled him off the field to ask one day. Heâs not too sure why, he was winning every battle as expected of him and he figured Carmine would chalk everything else up to âteenage angstâ as she always did.Â
âYeah? Everythingâs fine.â He shrugs her hand off.Â
âAre you sure,â she crosses her arms, and frowns like she always does when sheâs annoyed at him, âYouâve been more aggressive in your battles recently.âÂ
âWhy do you care? You never care.â He turns to walk away, when Carmine grabs his wrist and pulls him back.
âIs that how youâre going to talk back to me!?â
âYou only care when other people talk anyways!â He snatches his arm away from her and stomps off.Â
âKiki, wait! I have something to tell you!âÂ
âTell me later!â He starts taking strides, speeds up to get further away from Carmine. He hears her steps briefly, hears her call out his full name this time, and only walks faster.Â
When he gets back to his room, he thinks maybe he was too hasty. Maybe Carmine had something important to tell him, maybe she wasnât just going to insult him again and give him useless tips and tell him to be nicer to his classmates.Â
Either way, Iâll just ask tomorrow.
Turns out, the news Carmine wanted to give him was that they were hosting exchange students.Â
From Paldea.Â
And Kieran would be lying if he said his heart didnât skip a beat.Â
Thereâs endless chatter among his classmates, as their teacher introduces the soon-to-be arriving students through Powerpoint slides, accompanied by pictures and all. He keeps his attention away enough to not take in any of the names and their accomplishments back in Paldea, as his fingers tangle in his hair and his eyes stare out the window.Â
He finds it hard to care at all, until her name comes up and he canât help his eyes snapping to her picture.Â
It looks like a magazine cover, with her hair whipping around her, eyes steely towards the camera, brows lowered and lips parted slightly to show clenched teeth. Her Ceruledge stands in front of her, blades spread as if for protection, as if saying whoever had to get past it first before getting to her.Â
The class hushes as their teacher talks about her accomplishments, but Kieran couldnât tear his attention away from her, and how she never looked at him like that. She always looked at him with pity, sadness, never as an opponent.Â
She never saw him as an equal, she always saw him as weak.Â
It doesnât anger him as much as he thought it would, he supposes maybe heâs always known they werenât equals, but it feeds into that burning that heâs had since leaving Kitakami. It feeds into his need to get stronger, to grow faster and be better.
And he knows heâll be so much better.Â
He only tears his eyes away from the screen when his teacher goes back to talking about something related to battling.Â
He canât escape people talking about their soon-to-be exchange students, people go up to him at lunch just to ask what she was like when they first met in Kitakami and he finds he gets progressively more aggressive at shaking them off with every longing question and starstruck statement. He pushes people away with a twitching eye, sharply jerks hands off when theyâre placed on his shoulder, and eventually people go back to avoiding him.Â
His sister revels in the attention, and brags about every battle as if she wasnât also soundly beaten back in Kitakami. He makes sounds of vague agreement through his chewing whenever prompted, staring off and out a window.Â
âKieran, heard you know the Paldean newbies?âÂ
Drayton almost jumps him when he escapes to the library at the end of the day, slinging an arm around his shoulders to stop him. The rest of the league follow behind him, Crispin bouncing up in front of Kieran with stars in his eyes while Lacey and Amarys stroll behind.Â
âDo you really? What are they like? Are they nice? Do you think theyâll like my food?â Crispin bounces around Drayton and Kieran, while Kieran shakes off Draytonâs arm and sighs.Â
âI donât-â
âCome on, donât lie! Theyâre just some questions.âÂ
Kieran is ready to bolt before Drayton slings an arm around his again, while Crispin grabs onto his hand.
âYeah Kieran! Tell us about them.âÂ
âOne of themâs quite pretty, no?â Drayton smirks next to him, and Kieran manages to shake his arm off again before Drayton says, âThe purple one. Canât wait to meet her.âÂ
Kieran tenses, and Drayton snickers next to him. His hands start clenching and unclenching next to him, and his Yanmega shakes in its Pokeball in Kieranâs pocket. It wasnât a lie, and Kieran wasnât blind but the way Drayton complimented her, the way he said it so easily without having met her before, made him grind his teeth together.Â
âCome on guys, letâs stop teasing him already.â Lacey steps up behind Crispin, placing a hand on both of the league membersâ shoulders. She offers Kieran a soft, pitying smile and he makes sure to glare at her before he turns away.Â
âArenât you curious, Lacey? Kieranâs the only one who knows them.âÂ
âKieran doesnât want to talk about it, we shouldnât force him.â
âI must admit, Iâm quite curious as well.âÂ
âAmarys! Not you too.âÂ
He hears Lacey sigh loudly, and takes a glance at her to see her rubbing her temples with furrowed brows and a frown. She looks up at him, and he can tell sheâs surprised when she blinks rapidly before offering another sorry smile. He scowls as a reply, before she turns to frown at Drayton.Â
âWe can always ask Carmine later. Kieran doesnât want to talk about it.âÂ
âBut heâs right here,â Drayton drawls, and grabs his wrist before he can walk off, âKieran, just tell us one thing about them. Anything you can spare.âÂ
He doesnât want to, and even with all the words he could use to describe her, thereâs really only one thing that comes to mind.Â
âDonât trust her.âÂ
It confuses Drayton enough for him to rip his wrist away from his grip, and he strides away, leaving the league members to their confusion.