Start of Klance fic I’m never going to finish, called ‘at least I got soul still’ after the song haircut by Noah Kahan:
Mostly it's not so bad anymore. Lance will pretend Keith is dead, Lance will pretend Keith lives right next door, it will make him feel a little better and it will all be okay. He has crazed nightmares, lucid dreams, he can feel Keith’s cold dead body when he wakes up, he wakes up, cold to his bones, knocking on a door that doesn’t exist.
It will all be okay, because in both scenarios Lance has Keith, physically that is, because in both scenarios he can go see Keith, can touch him, in some way, feel him, he just doesn’t, in those scenarios. It will all be okay, it will all be okay, it will all be okay.
His hand absentmindedly runs through Keith’s hair, he wakes up, he’s fallen asleep on the kitchen floor, the tiles are all too cool under his touch. It will all be okay.
Then the sun comes up, Lance will always feel like a teenager again when it decides to do that, on the rare occasion it decides to do that. He’s a teenager all over again with all its perks and peaks. There’s a thick layer of sweat coating his skin, it’s everywhere, under his nails, behind his ears, it reeks. He puts his palm to his armpit, it comes back. He’s a teenager, he gets emotional over the smallest things, he longs for competition, he rushes collecting the eggs because he can do it faster than…
The sun comes up, Lance is a teenager all over again. The sun begins to set, Keith tells him he’s special, Keith looks at him like that, tells him he loves him. The sun comes up.
Because if Lance is a teenager all over again, he can have a do over. Keith and the sun set, Keith and defeating Zarkon, Keith and the blade, Keith and the red lion, Keith and defending the universe. A do over, Keith and the first day of school, Keith, just Keith.
It will all be okay. Lance will buy tacky quotes, already framed, from his nearest Walmart, Lance will wake up every day and convince himself that ‘If you never try, you’ll never know’. Or whatever. Lance will rub the sleep from his eyes, every morning, Lance will shower and he’ll try to ‘Wisdom begins in wonder- or no, no, something like that. Lance will try.
Sometimes, Pidge will call. Life’s good, on her end, Life’s good, sometimes Pidge will call.
Pidge has discovered something new every week, or now it’s getting to be months, the calls that is. Pidge and Matt and all the Holts for that matter, remain amazing, indescribable, original. Nothing’s new on her end, she’ll ask about him, Lance can’t really bear to answer. Lance will say something about the cows, the grass and the changing seasons. No matter how disappointed Pidge is in that answer Lance will always be more disappointed himself.
Sometimes when she calls there will be an excited tone in her voice and when all the boring niceties have been quickly established she won’t be able to bear it anymore, “did you get it, did you get it?” she asks. She sends him records and sweets and small useless souvenirs from tourist shops on the other side of the planet. It fills up the farm nicely, there’s so much space, there’s not much else she can do. She sends him shirts with cringey prints, small paintings, neatly done ceramics.
So Lance will get up, just in case she calls, Lance will cook and eat breakfast, just in case she cares.
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