Emma is still my Ana

skinny, living to strive it, or dead to be it.

[joyfullydull]

I need an ed coach or a competitive ana buddy right the fck now. Who wants to lock me in?

Meanspo, humiliation, anything is allowed i just need to lose some fck ton of weight right the fck now.

[joyfullydull]

My bf just cancled our date for his sports (he is a professional mma athleate) for the 294739th time. Maybe im just not skinny or pretty enough to be around. Maybe he's just disgusted w me so he looks for excuses.

Maybe. Its all an maybe. But 1 thing i always know for sure,

I am not thin enough.

[joyfullydull]

Go on.

Eat it. Eat it untill ur sick. Untill you feel the fat rolls apear and untill you hear the floors creak. Eat untill everything starts stretching out. I dont care. I dont know u. Go on,

Eat it.

[joyfullydull]

Being on edtumblr while eating <<<<

[joyfullydull]

I wish i was as disgusted w food as i am w my body.

I WISH I WAS AS DISGUSTED W FOOD, AS I AM WITH MY BODY.

[joyfullydull]

My current weiggt is 57kg, hopefully i can make it to 55kg next time im w my bf (next friday) bcuz he has a scale and i dont🥲

[joyfullydull]

Oh btw, i once made a whole 4na word document anyone can edit, pinterest account and spotify playlist if anyone's interested i can drop links.

[joyfullydull]

I feel horrible. I am horrible.

I promised my bf to never download this app again. I promised him id never relapse again. But i did both, in 2 days, after 1½ years of keeping that promise.

I am just as disgusting as my ed makes me think i am.