I’m not sure who is still here, or attempting to make a return like I am. Perhaps there might be a few folks who are having their first turn on this thing! Either way, hello to anyone who might be reading this.
I was pretty active here from 2010-2016ish. Drips and drabs after that. It was mostly reblogs of music videos and TV show gifs. There was some personal content thrown in here from time to time, but I think that I would like to lean towards more of that these days. Maybe it can be a space for some writing.
Some things I have learned about myself in the last few years:
I’m neurodivergent, AuDHD - I am sure when I look back on some old posts this will seem very obvious in hindsight. I’m diagnosed C-PTSD and there is definitely some crossover in terms of traits. It has been a lot to navigate and I’m still learning. It’s difficult to describe how it felt when I realised I was ND. I went 30+ years not knowing that there were other people out there that were like me - I would do my best to adjust to what I thought was “normal” even though I was often failing to do so. I make a lot more sense as a person and it has awarded me a certain level of self acceptance, although it is still a work in progress.
Speaking of self acceptance, to the surprise of nobody but me, I am in fact very, very queer. I’m at a point where I can laugh about it now, and it is very funny that I was ever on this dang website while telling myself I wasn’t. I think when I was younger I was just trying so hard to push back against the bullying, against the kids (and adults) who knew who I was way before I did. It’s not that I didn’t want to be queer, it’s that I didn’t want them to be right about it. I think the late blooming had something to do with the ND stuff, too. If I had to be specific, I am fluid- both in terms of my sexuality and my gender. “Queer” is fine though. She/they pronouns.
To make up for all of the years of pushing that stuff down, I now shout about it in a queer punk band. It’s very cathartic. I meet a lot of wonderful people who are a lot like me in multiple ways, and it has been the best time of my life so far. If you had asked me on this very site ten years ago where I would be at this time, I wouldn’t have guessed that it would be this. I would have thought at the time that there would be no point in starting a band once my 20s were over - but getting older is a gift that not many are promised, and I am so much more confident now than I was back then.
It would be really funny if I saw gifs of us on here at some point. This is absolutely a plea to anyone who is good at that stuff to please make gifs of our music videos. I’m not going to name the band because I don’t want this blog to show up on search engine results, but it’s not difficult to find out.
Back to reblogging gifs I go!
kaledo-art
snowghoul
gummygunk
dededos
discoholicmusic
jbbartram-illu
