I'm the Dean and don't you forget it

Mike Wazowski, I'm sure you've heard of me. You haven't? You must have been living under a rock for the last couple of years. Okay so I'll fill you in. I'm the Dean of Argo Community College which means I'm the big man on campus. I'm the VIP of VIPs, so if you need something I'm the man to talk to.

[leanmeandeanmachine]

At Home on a Friday Night || Celia and Mike

[missceliamae]

There wasn’t any question, Celia thought, that he was coming up with ideas — or at the very least, trying for the moment. If she knew Mike, he’d get distracted in the next ten minutes and wouldn’t think about it again until practically the last minute. It was a pattern, one she’d been aware of for years. And years.

The problem was, he could distract her as easily as anything, which happened to frustrate her more than almost anything. How was she ever supposed to be stern and hold her ground if he could sway her so easily? His second kiss prompted a sigh, and though she tried to pout about it, she couldn’t help but smile instead.

"In that case, we’ll clean out some of our DVR. It’ll make me feel productive at the same time and I need to feel productive right now.”

[leanmeandeanmachine]

"Sure Schmoopsie," Mike smiled her way, happy their fight was over. Then again, Mike was pretty easy to please, especially where Celia was concerned. "Uhh.. why don't you pick something? I'll clean up here," he offered. This was a rare occurrence, but Mike did not want to push it. Plus it would give him some extra time to think of an idea for a surprise. 

[leanmeandeanmachine]

On with the Show, This is It || Gio and Mike

[godsperfectidiiot]

"That’s a shame/ I’d love to be the godfather," he teased and gave a wink to Mike. "Hey don’t worry. We might not see strippers at all. I’m just hungry." He made a turn and stopped at the diner. "Well, here we are." Pulling the keys out, he got out of the car and shut the car door. "Come on, Mike. A few beers won’t kill ya."

[leanmeandeanmachine]

With shaky legs, Mike stepped out of the car and blessed whoever listened that he was on solid ground again. He made a mental note to never EVER get in the car with Gio again. "Yeah, maybe something to eat would be... nice." It would settle his stomach anyway. So he followed Gio inside, and the earlier feeling of disappointment and failure washed over him like a wave. "Maybe a few beers would be good too," he mumbled.

[leanmeandeanmachine]

((I missed Chanukah on this account but happy Chanukah anyway! 

[leanmeandeanmachine]

On with the Show, This is It || Gio and Mike

[godsperfectidiiot]

"Nope, we’re going to smashed and maybe if we have time, pay tips to strippers." There is no Mike can get out of this one. Either Mike will get so drunk he’d get more depressed or giggle at everything like the word boner. They were getting close to the bar anyway. Gio opted to change the subject. He made a U-turn when he realized he was heading the wrong street and swerved the car. "So, how’s Celia? Any mini-Mike Wazowskis coming up in the near future?" Their long engagement was probably a record by now.

[leanmeandeanmachine]

"Strippers?!" Mike clutched to the side of the car when Gio turned the car around. Was he crazy?!?? The answer was an astounding, yes, and Mike found himself wondering why he had even agreed to get in Gio's car in the first place. Strippers were not a good idea. Even if he wasn't engaged, Mike was way too nervous around women to ever possibly enjoy himself.

He practically chocked over Gio's question. "No! I - no!" At least he hoped not.

[leanmeandeanmachine]

On with the Show, This is It || Gio and Mike

[godsperfectidiiot]

Gio proceeded to drag him through the parking lot and up to his car. He didn’t like doing it, but he hated seeing Mike like this. “Nope, you’re not allowed to be alone in this state. Come on, I know a great place to eat.” He shoved him into the passenger seat, shut the door and went around to the driver’s side.

He started the ignition. “You may have lost but you’ve still got it. I’m sure you can do better next time.” He pulled out of the parking lot and into the street. “I personally don’t think I’m all that great. I just try and do my best.” He shrugged.

[leanmeandeanmachine]

"Yeah, well, your worst is ten times better than my best," Mike mumbled as he lazily made a frowny face on the window with his finger. 

"I appreciate this Gio, really I do, but you can forget it, okay? Nothing you say is gonna make me forget that I just embarrassed myself in front of all those people. It was stupid of me to think that I could be good at something. I know that, you know that, the whole student body knows it!" He knew some of the things people said about him behind his back.

Before Mike lost himself to his temper, he stopped himself, sighed, and settled back in the seat. "You can just drop me off at the next corner, okay? I'll take a cab home."

[leanmeandeanmachine]

At Home on a Friday Night || Celia and Mike

[missceliamae]

Mike oozed charm, as usual. It was really the charm that attracted her to him in the first place. He usually didn’t turn every head in a room or anything like that, because if Celia were being honest, he was probably one of the goofiest people she’d ever seen, especially with all his cheesy jokes and the faces he liked to make.

The pout remained but it lessened slightly as he grinned at her. She quirked a blond brow in response, noting the piece of broccoli silently and thinking about how simply Mike that was, to beam at her with something stuck in his teeth. A very soft huff escaped her and she rolled her eyes, trying her very hardest not to reward him by smiling, even though it came as an impulse. To combat the instant desire to forgive him, she reminded herself that Mike wasn’t always the most reliable when it came to followthrough, which probably explained why they’d been dating for nearly a decade.

"All right," she groaned with a roll of her eyes. "But if you try to weasel out, Michael Wazowski, I swear, I’ll—”

But without much warning, he ducked under the table to retrieve his chopstick and Celia heaved a sigh, cupping her chin in her hand and leaning heavily on the table in front of her. It was these parts of Mike that drove her absolutely bonkers, but made her increasingly fond of him at the same time.

Which was probably why she couldn’t help the smile that broke out on her face when he leaned over to kiss her on the cheek.

"Oh, Michael,” she huffed, though it was clear she was finished being angry. After taking another bite, chewing, and swallowing, she added, “Should we watch a movie tonight or try to cut down on our DVR recordings?”

[leanmeandeanmachine]

"You don't have to worry about me, Schmoopsie. There will be no weaseling out over here," he promised with a twinkle in his eyes. "I've already got the ol'e noggin thinking of ideas." While this was true, most of his ideas were much too expensive. Hiring a plane to spell out Celia's name in the sky might need to be put back in the vault for when he became the multi-millionaire he was destined to be one day. 

For now, something simple and from the heart would have to do. Hmm. 

"Whatever you'd like to do is fine with me, Schmoopsie." Whatever they watched, Mike was almost certain he wouldn't be paying much attention. He just had to come up with a good surprise for Celia so she wouldn't get angry with him again. The smile that lit up her face made his heart skip a beat, and he just had to kiss her cheek again. So he did. 

[lovbelt]

[leanmeandeanmachine]

On with the Show, This is It || Gio and Mike

[godsperfectidiiot]

Gio sighed to himself, wondering how he could help his friend. He knew Mike had always wanted to be a comedian. “Look, Mike. This whole competition I made up for us was just a joke. Something fun to do. A little friendly competition never hurt anyone anyway, am I right?” He shrugged at Mike’s back. “Besides, you’re just as good as me. I didn’t care about winning, just about having f-” but when he turned around and saw the look on Mike’s face, he knew what he had to do. He walked back towards Mike as his friend started to leave. “Oh no, you don’t!” He grabbed Mike by the shoulders and lead him in the right direction. 

"Come on, I know a great place where we can get smashed and eat some hot dogs. You like hot dogs, right? My treat." He said, grabbing Mike’s arms and leading them out of the auditorium towards the parking lot.

[leanmeandeanmachine]

"Sure I like hotdogs," Mike answered knowing his parents wouldn't be pleased by that fact. Hotdogs were hardly kosher, but Mike had been happily eating bacon and lobster his whole adult life and there was no going back now. 

"But I don't know, Gio." Mike tried resisting Gio's grip, but the man was stronger than he looked (or Mike was a weakling. I'd bet on the later) and he found it difficult to avoid being dragged around like a rag doll. "It's nice of you, but you don't have to. I lost fair and square. I just gotta be alone with my misery right now, is all."

[leanmeandeanmachine]

On with the Show, This is It || Gio and Mike

[godsperfectidiiot]

Gio watched backstage and laughed out loud at Mike’s jokes. He always thought Mike was funny and agreed with Celia that his jokes are great! For some reason, the audience didn’t laugh as much as Gio did which made him feel sorry for his dear friend. He really didn’t mean for Mike to lose. It was just a healthy dose of competition, right?

He did not expect Mike to lose his head, and in this case, quite literally after it was over. Gio walked towards him and tried to pull hinm away from the wall. “Hey, hey. Mike, hey! Be careful, man. You’ll hurt yourself,” he said as he grabbed Mike’s shoulders to pull him back. “It wasn’t that bad. In fact, it was great! I laughed so much,” he added with glee, patting his shoulders. “No need to hurt yourself.”

[leanmeandeanmachine]

"Don't kid yourself, Gio," Mike said back, absentmindedly rubbing his head where he had been banging it. "I'm just not funny. Let's face it. You won fair and square, and I never should have thought I could do it." So what if he had spent practically his whole life wanting to be a comedian, even if it was just a hobby. 

Sadly, Mike patted Gio on the back in parting. He didn't want to stick around here any longer and watch other amateur comedians get more laughs than he did. No, he would spend the rest of the night at the Snuggly Duckling, getting so drunk that maybe he would forget his embarrassment. 

[leanmeandeanmachine]

On with the Show, This is It || Gio and Mike

[godsperfectidiiot]

Gio almost lost his balance when Mike shoved him towards the stage. “Alright, alright. No need to get pushy.” He straightened his jacket and walked on stage with just himself, no notes required. Gio felt ready and started off his segment by talking to the audience about the state of the country, what’s been happening in the news and comparing it to other things, making jokes about it. He got a few good laughs out of it.

Then, he saw a woman in the audience and asked to borrow her scarf. He asked her by imitating a sassy, gay voice and proceeded to use the shawl in various impersonations. He used it to imitate a woman who is in Iran, another impression was of a gay rabbi, a torero, an Indian woman, Iron Chef, and so forth. He got a barrage of laughs and one woman couldn’t stop laughing throughout the entire thing which humbled him.

Afterward, he bowed and received a standing ovation. Gio walked backstage and wished Mike good luck with a pat on the back. “You’ll be great, Mike.”

[leanmeandeanmachine]

Mike felt his stage freight rise as Gio got more and more laughs. Maybe I should have gone first. How could he follow this act?? This whole thing was a big mistake. Who did he think he was?! He was a hack, a nobody, a nothing!! His jokes weren't funny no matter how much Celia said they were. Mike's style of humor wasn't as loud or as fast as Gio's, how was he even going to compete?

But soon enough Gio's time was up which meant Mike was next. Well, he swallowed, waving in Gio's general direction as he walked onto the stage, here I go. 

There were a lot more people out there than he thought were going to be. It took him a minute to get started. Mike told jokes about the easiest thing in the world to make fun of: himself. He told stories about his youth and growing up in a Jewish family and how much of an idiot he was especially when it came to girls. People seemed to laugh politely, probably because they didn't know him or that his jokes were really awful and after Gio there was no way anyone would laugh at what he had to say. 

So finally he was finished and Mike walked off to polite applause. Once he was backstage Mike banged his head repeatedly against the wall. 

[leanmeandeanmachine]

On with the Show, This is It || Gio and Mike

[godsperfectidiiot]

Gio had to admit he was a little nervous but he had been practiced his improvisational skills. He’d been practicing for months, since way before he knew Mike was going to host this event yet still he was nervous but he didn’t show it. Walking towards Mike with an air of confidence, he shook his hand. “Maybe the best man win,” he grinned. “Ladies first,” he gestured towards Mike to go up first. Gio thought he’d want to take the first stab at it.

[leanmeandeanmachine]

Ladies first? "Well, in that case," Mike stepped aside and pushed Gio out towards the stage. "Looks like you're up."

No way was Mike going to go on first. Not that he was afraid (even though he was) but it would be better if the crowd was warmed up. Let them chuckle at Gio's jokes. By the time Mike came onstage they would be ready for some A+ material. They'll be falling out of their seats.

[leanmeandeanmachine]

On with the Show, This is It || Gio and Mike

Mike paced up and down backstage. It was getting closer and closer to show time. "I'm not nervous," he kept telling himself, hoping that if he said it enough times it would become true. Once more Mike glanced down at his notecards. He had every joke planned out, worded perfectly and most importantly, memorized. But he had the cards with him just in case. 

Mike glanced up to see Gio walking towards him. Mustering up his most confidant of attitudes, Mike eagerly shook the man's hand in greeting. "Gio! You ready for tonight? I told you I wasn't gonna chicken out. Looks like you'll be the one wearing a dress, my friend."

[leanmeandeanmachine]

Waiting for Me? || Roger & Mike

[thenthelyrics]

"Really?" Roger turned his head at the beginning of his reply, his smile already beginning to return. He listened with interest clear in his eyes, love a fascination of his. Mike sounded like he was very much in love, and it was heartwarming. "Nine years has been quite some time, good man!" He laughed lightly, unable to kept but comment on it. He unbuckled when they stopped, opening the door and going to get out. "Whatever has been keeping the wedding?"

[leanmeandeanmachine]

Nine years was a long time, as Celia very frequently reminded him. Mike tugged at the collar of this shirt and locked up the car. "Well, uh.. I guess it's partly my fault," he confessed. Roger would understand, right? They were both guys so Roger couldn't possibly blame him like some of Celia's friends did. 

"We set a date and then something always happens where we have to push it back. And uh.. usually it revolves around me getting cold feet."

[leanmeandeanmachine]

Joke's on You || Gio & Mike

[godsperfectidiiot]

Gio shook his hand in turn. “You’re on!” He grinned, excited to see them both in action on stage. “Funnily enough, my audience will do the same. I hope Celia won’t mind seeing you in her clothes.” He laughed to himself. “Name the date then.”

[leanmeandeanmachine]

"The show is in three weeks," Mike said, shoving a poster in Gio's arms. "I'll see you there. And  I wouldn't worry about Celia. You'll be the one in drag, my friend." 

[morristownmayor]

Let's Hit the Gym || Millie & Mike

[morristownmayor]

Millicent sneered at the mats already provided and unrolled her own yoga mat, muttering about how she’d rather be struck down by a bus before she shared a sweaty mat with someone else. She was in the middle of stretching when some fool who had plopped down into her personal space had the audacity to speak to her. If this had been any ordinary idiot, she would have just ignored him and gone about her day, but luckily she happened to catch his face reflecting in the mirror in front of her.

"Sure is." Putting on her best smile, she turned to him and placed a hand over her heart with an overdramatic flourish. "Now, aren’t you Argo’s very own dean?"

[leanmeandeanmachine]

Well well well. Mike straightened up and put on his best smirk. It was so nice to be recognized outside of campus. I do make a spectacular dean. Why shouldn't I be recognized? Just as he was about to say something smooth back to her (of course we all know that it would really be the opposite of smooth but yeah) Mike in turn recognized the woman he was talking to. 

"Madame Mayor." A lump formed in his throat and he forced a smile. Good thing he was wearing a sweatband or else his forehead would be coated in sweaty droplets. He'd never met the woman before but that didn't make her any less terrifying. "How nice to, ehh... make your acquaintance."

[morristownmayor]

Let's Hit the Gym || Open

Millicent wasn’t overly fond of having to trek all the way to the community college in order to use the only gym in town, but then again, a person had to pay a price in order to look this good. She had considered on more than one occasion to demolish that tacky thrift shop or perhaps that obnoxious little daycare center in order to fit another gym closer to home, but she always quickly reminded herself that such actions would’t be very good for her chances of getting re-elected. So off she went to the college gym.

Upon entering, she found her usual elliptical in the corner had been taken, meaning she’d have to place herself smack in the middle of every other sweaty little cretin in there.

“Peachy.”

[leanmeandeanmachine]

Alright. Mike had his new sweatpants, sweatshirt, and to top it all off a bright green headband wrapped around his forehead. He looked very official which he felt like he needed to do considering he hadn't stepped foot inside a gym since high school. Even thinking about high school gym made him want to hide forever, but that was not going to happen today! No sir! He was going to get back into shape. Or rather, get in a shape that wasn't so.. round.

Mike settled in a spot on the floor to start stretching. He smiled dorkily at a women who was next to him. "Beautiful day to be at the gym, huh?" 

[leanmeandeanmachine]

Joke's on You || Gio & Mike

[godsperfectidiiot]

Mike is too easy, thought Gio. But a little harmless competition never hurt anyone. “You’re on!” He chuckled. “The stakes are whoever loses must walk around in drag on campus for a day.” He grinned, hoping Mike won’t pitch a fit about it. Even if Gio lost, he’d have no qualms about parading around in women’s clothes but he doubt’s he’d lose though Mike is a worthy adversary.

[leanmeandeanmachine]

"Drag?" For a moment Mike imagined himself dressed up in one of Celia's little black dresses, complete with shoes, hat and purse. She would have his hide if he did that. Not to mention she'd be more angry once she learned it was because he had bet and lost. "Fine!" Mike heartily shook Gio's hand sealing the bet. 

"I'm gonna have the best comedy act you've ever heard," he bragged. "The audience is going to be laughing so hard they'll wet their pants."