evil women apologist

(misc side blog), 20+, he/him, south-east asian. older woman connoisseur. i follow back from voltives.

[lelif]

on survival

-// @aridante // @orivu // @buzzkillgirls // ? // ? // richard siken// @cemeterything // moomin, tove jansson// @disenchanted-killjoy // isn't that enough, shawn mendes// @ prettytheyswag on twitter// @ coletyumuch on twitter// ? // ? // bird by bird, anne lamott// undertale// @strawberrycircuits

[leocadian]

being on holiday with my mother is like ten variations of "what if i shot myself" running through my brain at top speeds on a daily basis

[leocadian]

i told my mother i might be depressed in the car today and her response was “don’t do anything stupid” so i don’t think I’m telling her more than that. like brother YOU are the reason i don’t wanna talk because i don't trust you!!!!

[leocadian]

i'm gonna be honest with you guys but every single day for the past two weeks has felt like this. what da hell

[josilverdragon]

"The horrors persist but so do libraries, books, iced coffee, sunsets, trees, the word 'fuck', the moon and the sea."

[leocadian]

had to call the suicide hotline today because the demons were getting to me and the one thing that stuck with me is when the guy said "you sound so sad. i don't like hearing you be so sad :(" and it got me to get my act together in 5 minutes. /pos

[leocadian]

things that are ostensibly stopping me from doing something drastic:

my friends. they would be sad and devastated if i left

my gf

writing. especially writing anton. i experience a deep found joy because of this

dark chocolate rice cakes

all the poetry i have left to write

there are more beautiful things in the world to see

there are movies i want to see

there are books i want to read

it is not yet my time

i will have to bear this extreme and profound sadness for years to come. i don't think i have anything good to contri— [realises negative self talk is not healthy] i have everything good to contribute.

[sparrowposting]

"if you worry, you suffer twice"

Brother, I am inventing new types of worry and ways to suffer thrice. Perhaps even FOUR times.

[werewiire]

[leocadian]

i know my art is improving even if i haven’t touched my ipad in two months is because this would usually take me 2 hours. but i’ve managed to get the first sketch done in just over an hour including clean up (mostly). that’s so neat.

[valend]

The greatest minds of this generation are putting all their creative energy into writing pornography for 50 hits on ao3

[tautline-hitch]

OKAY FINE. Spin for a kink. You’ve just noticed this in the tags of an explicit-rated fic you were going to read.

How are we feeling?

YES this is IT this is my THING

Oh fun!

Sure, why not

Not really my deal but I can go with it

Nah, not feeling it

NOPE.

Vanilla extract (I don't read kink / I don't read e-rated fic / nuance / results

Voting ended onApr 30

Preemptively, in case this gets away: Be cool in the notes.

[leocadian]

like this post if i have permission to shrink you and put you in my pocket and carry your pocket-sized self with me everywhere i go and inevitably conquer the world

[leocadian]

living in such intense loneliness that i've resorted to unimaginable acts of tenderness to cope is. man. once again i am in in the copium trenches, i fear.

[ahotknife]

YOU don’t have to be perfect to be loved. but I do

[theorangepdf]

getting fixated on something is funny because the first like week i have an insatiable need to tell everyone i know about it and spread the good word but by weeks 2 and 3 it becomes so intense and personal that even hearing it mentioned in public makes me sweat as if a dark secret was alluded to

[birdandvine]

Good Morning, I Am Not Going to Commit Suicide Today, by Kimmy Walters