I’m the TRUE and HONEST chimpanzeedotcom. I lost my original account to HACKERS. I am on a love quest to find a true and honest heartsweet beautiful transgender woman to lose my virginity to.
If you were wondering how the conclave went btw I gotta tell you I never stood a fucking chance. the whole damn thing was rigged. Look at this guy. Who’d vote against that? Doomed from the very start.
Also I lost €thousands of euro and got excommunicated for taking bets on the next pope. I’m fucking ruined.
One reason why I’m still a virgin is the fact I transform with a big hump on my back and turn bright red with a protruding mouth and sharp teeth and my whole body grows wide when I get horny just like a spawning season salmon.
•Imagine asking Zee to kill a bug because youre too scared to urself, but it turns out he’s too scared as well. He calls his mom to get it and you end up having a family dinner with her after
•Imagine Zee cheating on you but he reminds you that he’s mentally ill so it’s okay. He forgives you for being ableist
•Imagine being stuck in a broken down car with him and the only thing left working is the radio. He says this is the perfect time to show you some music he’s been meaning to share with you. Being stuck so close to him means you are not able to make your usual annoyed face youd hide when he suggests playing his music. You are forced into just seeming totally okay with it.
•Imagine him coming to you crying because he got cyber bullied. He lays in your arms crying until he falls asleep while you play with his hair.
•Imagine having to flush after him because he forgot to.
•Imagine him apologizing sweetly every morning for farting throughout the night. You can’t help but to forgive him when he gives you those eyes <3
•Imagine vomiting because he showed you a gore video right after dinner. It turns him on so you two have a quick fuck
•Imagine moaning “PSEUDOSOVIET” as you cum from his tiny cock.
•Imagine watching him write out a new post for his blog and it being so awful you grab his hand and hold onto it before saying “No dear.”
•Imagine Zee giving you a bath in steaming hot water. You ask him to please make it a bit cooler but he reminds you puppys don’t talk before shoving a rubber ball in your mouth. You’re in terrible pain.
•Imagine being in the middle of fucking when he starts to cry and say he doesn’t have the spoons to continue. And you can’t finish yourself off because it will make him feel bad he couldn’t make you finish instead.
•Imagine having to remind Zee it’s not healthy to lick pee off of toilet seats in public restrooms.
•Imagine playing into his grandpa kink so you tease him for not being able to get it up anymore as you grab his penis.
•Imagine him sticking his grandpa roleplay cane up your asshole to spread you open
•Imagine him not knowing what to do when you’re crying other than to ask if you wanna watch some videos of chonky doggos together.
•Imagine him groaning “boom! There goes the dynamite” when he finishes.
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