shima believes himself to be unlovable and evil and mean and terrible and so he feels disillusioned when he asks mitsumi why she liked him and she says that it's because he's kind and he helped her. Because shima doesnt believe himself to be kind! he wanted mitsumi to give him a reason he hadn't thought of, something complicated and ugly he hasnt shown anyone, even if she has no way of fully knowing. but what shima isnt able to understand is that his "facade" for better and for worse is an active effort he made to make mitsumi more comfortable and at peace that at the time deeply affected her and kept her moving forward!!! He thinks all those times where he was nice are all just a prettyboy facade thats shallow and fake but fails to realize how those moments are what made him and mitsumi connect in the first place...
