Worldwide Lobster count:
15

oozey mess
Today's Document
DEAR READER
h

No title available
occasionally subtle
Jules of Nature

shark vs the universe
i don't do bad sauce passes
wallacepolsom
almost home
YOU ARE THE REASON
todays bird

pixel skylines
Monterey Bay Aquarium
noise dept.

if i look back, i am lost

@theartofmadeline
Sweet Seals For You, Always
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@lobstercounter
Worldwide Lobster count:
15
well this fucking sucks
imagine having to dox yourself because you made the mistake of watching a 4 hour mighty morphin power rangers retrospective and the ai decided you were 14 and not 42 like the actual demographic for those videos. sad
like this obviously sucks if you're an adult who enjoys watching animation or doll youtube videos but also i don't think youtube should be tracking 16 year olds because they're afraid of them hearing the word "fuck".
notice how all this censorship crap is happening at once? :)
ever since that right wing religious extremist organization Collective Shout targeted and manipulated payment processors (that are already run by right wing nutjobs) to go after steam and itchio, all this shit is starting to happen at the same time
it may be a tactical "overwhelm bomb" to make people feel powerless, and yeah it may not be that, but it's kinda strange that it's happening all at once
regardless, people need to start calling the shit out of mastercard and visa's phone lines even more
yall in the US need to start calling your representatives about KOSA especially
and people in the EU need to start calling whatever equivalent of a representative they have about all this bullshit as well
companies are now going to start trying to capitalize on invading privacy that has literally been protected for so goddamn long all because of these evil fuckwads that honestly need to get a nail put through their skulls
fucking make a fuss about it. complain the fuck out of shit and flood their goddamn call lines
Reading the new checks that might come in due to the Online Safety Act in the UK and this is actually bullshit
[Image Transcript:
And how will I prove my age?
There’s a number of methods a site or app might use to ask you to confirm your age. They might do this check themselves or use another company to do the check. These methods include:
Facial age estimation – you show your face via photo or video, and technology analyses it to estimate your age.
Open banking – you give permission for the age-check service to securely access information from your bank about whether you are over 18. The age-check service then confirms this with the site or app.
Digital identity services – these include digital identity wallets, which can securely store and share information which proves your age in a digital format.
Credit card age checks – you provide your credit card details and a payment processor checks if the card is valid. As you must be over 18 to obtain a credit card this shows you are over 18.
Email-based age estimation – you provide your email address, and technology analyses other online services where it has been used – such as banking or utility providers - to estimate your age.
Mobile network operator age checks – you give your permission for an age-check service to confirm whether or not your mobile phone number has age filters applied to it. If there are no restrictions, this confirms you are over 18.
Photo-ID matching – this is similar to a check when you show a document. For example, you upload an image of a document that shows your face and age, and an image of yourself at the same time – these are compared to confirm if the document is yours.
End Transcript.]
Not only is this such a fucking breach of privacy, but this is going to hurt adults in vulnerable and abusive situations. Some adults don’t have bank accounts or credit cards or even a fucking phone. I’m one of them. I could not give half of this information even if I wanted to. What the fuck is this. Fuck the UK government. This isn’t going to protect kids, this is just going to hurt adults, and I know full well when they say “sites that allow pornography” they’re going to be going after sites that have huge amounts of queer content, like tumblr and Ao3. Queer kids are gonna lose their fucking communities because of this shit. Abuse victims are going to lose online support systems because of this.
I’m genuinely fucked off about this, and worried about whether I’m going to lose every single one of my online friends. Anyone in the UK, please email your MP and sign this petition. It needs to reach 100k signatures to pass through Parliament.
I’m only hoping the backlash will be big enough for them to stop implementing these measures.
We want the Government to repeal the Online Safety act.
Anything we Yankees can do to voice our displeasure at this? This absolutely is violating and it's creepy. It absolutely will be used as a test run for implementing something similar here if it doesn't get loud pushback, and even before it does, we all share the same Internet, so it will, in some way, affect us even across the pond.
As far as I know, the best thing non-UK people can do is simply share the petition around, because it’s not possible for anyone outside of the UK to sign it (otherwise the petition can be deemed invalid). But definitely keep your eyes on American laws, because it’s likely they’ll attempt to implement them there too. The UK itself is basically copying what Australia has been trying to do with their under-16s ban.
If you're in the UK, please sign the petition and start calling and emailng explaining that you don't support fascist laws in your country. Because this is fascism. It's tracking and keeping lists of what people do on the internet so that vaguely written laws can be interpreted to punish people for not being the right sort of people.
If you're not in the UK, please reblog and share anywhere you can.
The thing is, this isn't even gonna stop sufficiently determined teenagers from seeing smutty stuff because these age verification methods are comically easy to bypass:
The UK's new act blocks access to adult content without identification. Turns out, you only need a copy of Death Stranding and a phone to ge
And, indeed, the British people are already looking for ways round it:
It's a ridiculous piece of security theatre that, like all prohibition based approaches, is simply going to force users underground. It's intensely regressive.
We all know this. We’ve tried prohibition so many times with so many icky things people don’t like, every few decades we go through this, and every time it doesn’t work and people get hurt when they don’t need to.
We want the Government to repeal the Online Safety act.
I hate having to post political posts like this nut he we are again. Anybody from the UK wanna sign this. Folks from outside the UK maybe share it?
PLEASE sign this if you're in the UK
And in the meantime, many have recommended getting a VPN, too.
Non-UK folk, help this get more reach if you can!
[ID1: post by Mike Stabile @mikestabile.b... (cutoff):
"Starting July 25, Bluesky will require users in the UK to scan their face, upload an ID or verify their identity with a bankcard.
I realize that platforms feel they have no choice but to comply with the government surveillance schemes, but shocking nonetheless."
Attached link shows the Bluesky logo with the title "Bluesky is rolling out age verification in the UK / Bluesky users in the UK can verify their age using their face, ID, or payment c..." (cutoff) by www.theverge.com.
ID2: post by Buggy gay simping 🏳️⚧️🍉 @beetleb... (cutoff.)
"Also as an addition; sign this petition ASAP if you're someone in the UK.
Rather than just sitting around and doing fuck all, we need to make it clear that this Bullshit OSA won't work. Ever. Nor do folk fucking want it.
Contact your MPs about the bill too.
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/72..." (cutoff.)
Attached link shows the Petitions for UK Government and Parliament logo with the title "Petition: Repeal the Online Safety Act / We want the Government to repeal the Online Safety act." by petition.parliament.uk. End of ID.]
Have you ever spawned a gimmick (posted about a lack of a gimmick, only for their first post to be reblogging that)
Yes. I've also been the spawned gimmick.
Yes.
No. I have been the spawned gimmick though.
No.
What.
Results
@mr-s33k
I should start doing this again
BAN ON CONVERSION PRACTICES IN THE EU. GO SIGN IT. DEADLINE IS FUCKING MAY 17. WE'RE STILL MISSING 800.000 signatures. FUCKING DO IT.
Give your support !
Please sign this if you are a citizen of an eu country
Everyone(!) please also reblog this so we can reach as many EU citizens as possible!
yeiyeaaah. darkness 🦞 imprisoning me🦞all that i see🦞absolute horror🦞 i cannot live
@lobstercounter does this count?
mmmmmm. sure why not
There are 4 Lobsters in this post!
he’s disgusting, he’s repulsive, (I’d fuck him) he’s nasty, he’s not allowed within 20 feet of my property
he’s disgusting, he’s repulsive, (I’d fuck him) he’s nasty, he’s not allowed within 20 feet of my property
There is 1 Shrimp in this post!
I was gonna lobsterize this post man!
early crustacean gets the post. idiot
@shrimpcounter
Srimp.
Srimp?
YOU SRIMPED THE POST YOU DIDNT SHRIMP IT!!!
i love you female characters who make selfish choices they know will be bad for everyone. i love you female characters who think they're making the right choice but make things worse. i love you female characters who are making the right choice but noone else understands it.
i love you female characters who make selfish choices they know will be bad for everyone. i love you female characters who think they're making the right choice but make things worse. i love you female characters who are making the right choice but noone else understands it.
There is 1 Lobster in this post!
he’s disgusting, he’s repulsive, (I’d fuck him) he’s nasty, he’s not allowed within 20 feet of my property
he’s disgusting, he’s repulsive, (I’d fuck him) he’s nasty, he’s not allowed within 20 feet of my property
There is 1 Shrimp in this post!
I was gonna lobsterize this post man!
early crustacean gets the post. idiot
how about the better one gets the post and you pack up your inferior crustaceans and fuck off
you fuck off!! i literally have more shrimp than you like is this guy serious. does anyone else see this. inferior my telson
Lobsters are better animals which is why I have those and not shrimp. this is like that spongebob episode.
he’s disgusting, he’s repulsive, (I’d fuck him) he’s nasty, he’s not allowed within 20 feet of my property
he’s disgusting, he’s repulsive, (I’d fuck him) he’s nasty, he’s not allowed within 20 feet of my property
There is 1 Shrimp in this post!
I was gonna lobsterize this post man!
early crustacean gets the post. idiot
how about the better one gets the post and you pack up your inferior crustaceans and fuck off
he’s disgusting, he’s repulsive, (I’d fuck him) he’s nasty, he’s not allowed within 20 feet of my property
he’s disgusting, he’s repulsive, (I’d fuck him) he’s nasty, he’s not allowed within 20 feet of my property
There is 1 Shrimp in this post!
I was gonna lobsterize this post man!
i love translators’ notes. i love seeing a little footnote that’s like “compare my good and grass-touching translation to the STUPID translations of smith and johnson, who rendered the passage ‘xyz’ because their heads are so far up their ass they’re giving ouroboroses body dysmorphia” or “this sentence isn’t translated very well, but that’s because the author wasn’t making any FUCKING sense”
i love translators’ notes. i love seeing a little footnote that’s like “compare my good and grass-touching translation to the STUPID translations of smith and johnson, who rendered the passage ‘xyz’ because their heads are so far up their ass they’re giving ouroboroses body dysmorphia” or “this sentence isn’t translated very well, but that’s because the author wasn’t making any FUCKING sense”
There is 2 Shrimps in this post!
they call my dick excalibur. because it sat in a lake for a long time . no other reasons
cottoncandylesbo
ils appellent ma bite excalibur. parce qu'elle est restée dans un lac pendant longtemps . pas d'autre raison
FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS (BONUS POINTS)
1.) Do you think OP would allow the French near their posts? Why or why not?
2.) Does translating the post add any additional humor? If so, how?
3.) Would another language affect your chances of survival?
3.) Are you in danger?
3.) How fast can you run?
they call my dick excalibur. because it sat in a lake for a long time . no other reasons
cottoncandylesbo
ils appellent ma bite excalibur. parce qu'elle est restée dans un lac pendant longtemps . pas d'autre raison
FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS (BONUS POINTS)
1.) Do you think OP would allow the French near their posts? Why or why not?
2.) Does translating the post add any additional humor? If so, how?
3.) Would another language affect your chances of survival?
3.) Are you in danger?
3.) How fast can you run?
There are 2 Lobsters in this post!
i love translators’ notes. i love seeing a little footnote that’s like “compare my good and grass-touching translation to the STUPID translations of smith and johnson, who rendered the passage ‘xyz’ because their heads are so far up their ass they’re giving ouroboroses body dysmorphia” or “this sentence isn’t translated very well, but that’s because the author wasn’t making any FUCKING sense”
i love translators’ notes. i love seeing a little footnote that’s like “compare my good and grass-touching translation to the STUPID translations of smith and johnson, who rendered the passage ‘xyz’ because their heads are so far up their ass they’re giving ouroboroses body dysmorphia” or “this sentence isn’t translated very well, but that’s because the author wasn’t making any FUCKING sense”
There is 1 Lobster in this post!
Barbie collectors: wow this doll has such a pretty face :) ok time to perform surgery and give her A New Body
Monster high collectors: does anyone have a 2011 g1 scaretastic cuntacular freak off circus lagoona
Barbie collectors: wow this doll has such a pretty face :) ok time to perform surgery and give her A New Body
Monster high collectors: does anyone have a 2011 g1 scaretastic cuntacular freak off the circus lagoona
There is 1 Lobster in this post!
if I meet u at a party I will often hand you my phone and say something like "this is a list of names for girls. please read through and then add one." the list is special because you can only add to it in person; I won't add something that you tell me about over text. however, I think it's okay for me to share it here. without further ado, I present: girl names (names for girls)
if I meet u at a party I will often hand you my phone and say something like "this is a list of names for girls. please read through and then add one." the list is special because you can only add to it in person; I won't add something that you tell me about over text. however, I think it's okay for me to share it here. without further ado, I present: girl names (names for girls)
#girl names Isopropyl Threnody Gimbal Mantissa Travesty Ephemera Epinephrine Grenadine Iosevka Kopika Acetaminophen Arrhythmia Sepsis Anguish Lacrimosa Xiphosura Patalanaya. Rancid Kombucha Peptobismol Sawdust Mistake Cadence Teeth Dacryphilia Hitachi Gardasil Hyphae Regalia rm -rf ~ Hornet Scribble Scalpel Chatoyance Pistil Apocrypha Midnight Catastrophe Aphasia Intramuscular Simulacra Influenza allegra Arowana Sludge Supererogatory
This post has 3 Lobsters!