Haha what if I got too drunk at a party n you had to shove your fingers in the back of my throat haha. And you held back my hair while I threw up straight liquor. And you rubbed my back while I cried. And I felt so so bad and the only thing keeping me together was your warm skin and the cold tile biting into my knees. And I was shaking. And then you took that opportunity to take advantage of me in the secluded unfamiliar bathroom that was still spinning for me. Haha.
And you were the one who got me this drunk by handing me drink after drink and when I wouldn't do it willingly you held my jaw open and poured shots in
Do you realize it as it's happening? Slowly becoming the version of you that I desire most?
I never tell you outright to change. I don't even criticize. I simply give or withhold praise.
"I like that color on you"
"I like that softer eyeliner"
"That shorter hem makes your legs look amazing"
"your tits look great from that angle"
"I love when you do that with your tongue"
Over years your wardrobe turns over into only things I like. your hair is grown and styled to My preference. your piercings and tattoos are in places and of things I prefer. your movements in bed are all orbiting the ways that you can please Me best.
I don't need to force you. Force has its place but it's barbaric and it's temporary.
No, to permanently take what I want from you, I just course correct your mind a fraction of a degree at a time. Imperceptible, until one day you no longer see who you used to be.
In all fairness, I only ever saw who you would become anyway.
I’m an adult and I’ve never masturbated before (I’m asexual, just didn’t feel the need to while growing up)
However, since getting a romantic partner I’ve been interested in sex and intimacy in that way. I want to be able to orgasm like I see in videos (the more realistic ones) but every time I touch myself my limbs may jolt a little but I don’t necessarily feel ‘good’?
(AFAB) Idk if I just can’t find my own clit (despite helping my partner without issue) or something else and I’m too embarrassed to ask them for help with my first orgasm
Please help
Hi there! Thank you for patience cause I know you sent this a while ago. Let’s dive in!
Expectations & Narratives
Where I would start is your expectations of yourself and what sex is supposed to look like (especially because of porn + how sex is depicted in media). Sometimes we get really caught up in having a goal for sex - whether that be penetration being the goal, or orgasm being the goal. The problem with that is that good sex is about pleasure, and pressure kills pleasure!
Instead of focusing on Achieving An Orgasm, a good place to start would be just focusing on what feels good.
- Where does it feel good to be touched?
- What kind of movement and pressure feels good?
- What helps your brain get into a mode that is present and playful?
- What makes you feel any kind of pressure, guilt, shame or anxiety around physical intimacy?
Once you get clear on these things, then you move towards what feels good and away from what feels bad.
I also highly recommend exploring your narratives around what sex is “supposed” to be. When we can approach sex with no other expectation than doing what feels good for us and our partner in the moment, we are much more open to experiencing pleasure as a whole.
In the same vein, it’s totally normal to feel embarrassed about this stuff, but I really do encourage you to be open with your partner. Sex is weird and embarrassing for everyone at various points, and it’s a vulnerable thing to do always. Vulnerability is just inherently scary, and that never goes away. We just have to be brave, and I know you can be brave about it! A good place to open up that conversation can be to talk about what is hard for you about talking about sex, even when you’d like to! And to be clear, a good partner would be honoured to support you in exploring your orgasm, and will work beside you on their own shame-filled narratives about sex.
“Ok cool, Cala, but I WANT my sex to involve orgasm.”
And fair enough! So I am assuming here that you are talking openly about sex with your partner, you have let go of achieving orgasm as a goal, and now you are curious if orgasm is possible for you.
Most of this is going to come down to managing expectations, and a lot of trial and error. Orgasms can take a while. Like I’m talking 20+ minutes of being stimulated in various ways. For a lot of people, orgasms have a huge mental component, so physical stimulation alone isn’t enough.
For the trial and error part, I would first focus on lots and lots of foreplay, to get your brain in the right place and help your body be receptive to sexual touch. This can be looking at sexy media like porn or fiction, talking with your partner affectionately and/or about fantasies, playing with physical touch of all kinds, and basically anything at all that makes you feel relaxed, connected and sexy!
Next up, I would experiment with different kinds of stimulation, especially via different spots like clit vs. g-spot, penetration, stimulation of multiple areas at the same time, stuff like that. This is where sex toys are your friend, because they can give you stronger, more targeted & consistent stimulation, and they don’t get tired!
Unfortunately, capacity to orgasm and the exact ingredients necessary to orgasm is pretty specific to each person, so I can’t give you an easy step-by-step guide. That being said, this is definitely a place where enjoying the journey is way more important than the destination.
As with everything, go slow, be aware of when expectations are creating up via shame, guilt and anxiety, and overall, have fun and don’t take it too seriously. You can have good sex without orgasm!
A couple of years ago, I was fucking this smoking hot chick. I had seen her before, but not many times and that particular time, I knew she had somewhere to be soon, so while we were fucking, I asked her if we have time for me to cum more than once, as I was extremely horny. We were fucking doggy style. When I asked her, she started thrusting her body back on my cock and pulled my head closer to her and said “you can do whatever you want”. I wasn’t wearing a condom at the time, and as soon as she said that, I flooded her pussy with one of my biggest loads ever. I went down on her, then she asked me to lie down on my back and started giving me her best ever blowjob, before I creampied her again. I know this isn’t a question, but I have never stopped thinking about it ever since and I got no one to say it to lol. For whatever reason, she stopped responding to me after that and I never saw her again.
I think it’s very cute when people wanna confess to me what lives rent-free in their brain. Sounds like you had a good time 🥰
"it hurts... 🥺" – yeah, and? what do you expect me to say? i know it hurts. i'm making it hurt on purpose. it's supposed to fucking hurt. now what? do you think your stupid whining is going to stop me?
oh it hurts, it hurts, doesn't it? poor little thing. now shut the fuck up already and take it like a good girl.
Side blog where I'm a pervert @lovinglyviciousrobot - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
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