For DID awareness day, I want to bring awareness to the vast spectrum of DID and OSDD symptoms. I feel like the symptoms of these disorders are often misunderstood. Many people assume that DID and OSDD are such extreme rollercoaster disorders when that’s usually not the case for any mental disorder! I’ve also seen others who believe that DID/OSDD are just having alters and not liking them–which is also not an accurate portrayal!
The DSM’s criteria of alters, amnesia, and distress/impairment aren’t meant to be taken at the surface level. These are very simple descriptors for a spectrum of experiences that are the hallmarks of the disorders. Besides that, there are many, many more symptoms that are very common. No two people with DID or OSDD are going to be exactly the same; I think that goes for any mental disorder.
Below, I’ve written up a non-exhaustive list of common symptoms in DID/OSDD. It’s important to know that many of these symptoms can overlap with other mental disorders. DID/OSDD symptoms are always unrelated to other medical conditions or non-disordered experiences, such as substance use or epilepsy. Furthermore, these are common but not required; a person does not need to experience all of these things to have DID/OSDD.
(PLEASE don’t use this list to diagnose yourself. Seek a professional if you are questioning a mental disorder!)
Common symptoms of DID/OSDD:
Since DID/OSDD are more complex forms of PTSD, you or other alters might experience the symptoms of complex PTSD. Check this PDF for the symptoms of C-PTSD.
You might find that your memory is unreliable. You might lose a lot of details or misremember the important bits.
You might have difficulty piecing together a coherent timeline of your life. You might struggle to retell what your childhood or adolescence was like.
You might have moments where you’re unable to remember important life events, such as the day you got married.
You might find that sometimes you can’t remember important information about yourself or about those closest to you. This could include things such as your name or who your family members are.
You might find that you sometimes forget well-learned skills, such as driving or a favorite hobby.
You may find that sometimes you can’t even remember more recent things, such as what you did today or what the last conversation you had was about.
You might have moments where you discover evidence of your memory gaps, such as text messages you don’t remember sending or purchases you don’t remember deliberating.
There might have been times when you ended up in a different place but could not remember how you got there.
Someone might have told you that you did or said something that you don’t recall.
You might have moments where you don’t even remember the times you have forgotten things. Because of this, you may feel like you don’t truly know how much memory loss you actually experience.
Depersonalization & derealization
You might experience moments where you don’t feel in control of what you’re saying or doing.
You might feel like your body is unrecognizable, unreal, or doesn’t reflect who you are.
Familiar places, objects, and people might suddenly become unfamiliar or detached to you. Alters might feel things like “those are the host’s parents, not mine.”
You might have moments where you feel like you are in a dream or a fog.
There might be times when watching your surroundings seems no realer than watching a movie.
You might have moments where you feel unreal. You might feel like you are invisible, two-dimensional, or a robot.
You might feel numbed to or detached from your body parts, thoughts, emotions, sense of agency, or even your entire self.
You might sometimes experience heightened or muted visual/auditory distortions with no medical cause, such as blurry vision, muffled sounds, or tunnel vision.
Sometimes might you feel like you are watching yourself, as if you are having an out of body experience.
Being an alter & having alters
You might feel confused or distressed because you do not identify with the things that people associate your whole identity with such as name, personality, opinions, or preferences.
You might feel confused or distressed because you do not identify with the same age, gender, or species as your body.
You might feel confused or distressed that your physical body does not reflect how you feel you should look.
There might be other alters who feel the same way above but differently from you, and this may also confuse and distress you.
You might not be able to access same skills, knowledge, or talents that other alters have.
Others might tell you that you sometimes act very differently, almost like different people.
You might hear voices, such as voices arguing or commenting on your actions.
There might be times when you experience intrusive thoughts, visual images, feelings, or urges that don’t actually belong to you but to another alter.
There might be times where your body seems to be moving and speaking on its own because another alter is controlling it.
You might have moments where you involuntarily switch to a vulnerable alter. Sometimes this may result in an unsafe or distressing situation.
There might be alters who are be unaware of other alters’ existence or refuse to believe so.
There might be alters who struggle to communicate with other alters or refuse to do so.
There might be alters who have suicidal thoughts, physically harm the body, or engage in risky behavior.
There might be alters who dislike or lash out at other alters within the system.
There might be alters who still carry onto memories, thoughts, feelings, or behaviors related to past trauma.
The alters within the system may have contradicting thoughts, preferences, and opinions.
You might sometimes have difficulty making cooperative decisions with your system because of conflicting desires, needs, and perceptions.
You might have episodes where you feel like you don’t know who you are, like you’re a combination of alters, or that you’re just not like yourself.
You might sometimes experience pain or sensations that don’t have a medical cause, such as “switching headaches.”
You might sometimes go catatonic or become paralyzed without a medical cause.
You might sometimes experience the loss of a physical function without a medical cause, such as your sight, hearing, speech, or feelings of hunger.
Sometimes, it might feel like you are numbing out pain or sensations.
You might experience other conditions without any medical cause, such as pseudoseizures.
You might experience hallucinations or delusions, usually related to past trauma.
You might feel afraid or shamed of the possibility of others finding out your thoughts.
When someone asks you to describe who you are as a person, you might feel at a loss for what to say.
You might experience mood fluctuations or like your moods sometimes come out of the blue.
You might have difficulty being aware of your own symptoms or describing the severity of them. This might be because you have had them for so long that you are used to navigating life with these symptoms.
Disorders that are commonly comorbid with DID/OSDD:
Borderline personality disorder
Substance abuse disorders
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