EACDE

[lynson]

I hate myself . So dumb.

[lynson]

Here comes the war between us. I think I lost you. We lost each other. You like to stay home, play video games and eat. I like to go out. I believe a couple should always go out and experience the life. Or if you stay home, do something meaningful. That game app is just for killing time. Are you seriously gonna waste the full day just playing that game, checking in your Facebook and cuddle with me? I won't feel satisfied with such a life. Life is short. We should go out and Experience the world. So I guess we have different view of life. We have different life styles. We will split, sooner or later. But right now I miss you but I can't call you cuz we are at war... I feel my first love is gonna end soon, and now I think of this fact, my heart hurts a lot. 心痛的感觉。我很伤心。看韩剧，然后争取早日走出阴霾。

[lynson]

Day Two of My Period

You keep making me mad, unintentionally. We've been together for almost four months. You are not a romantic person: have I ever received anything from you? A Card? A flower? Nothing. You are not a talkative person. But I believe if someone really cares about the person he loves, he should be curious to know anything about that person, if she eats well, sleep well, what she likes and dislike, her past and her future, her thoughts about something. You rarely ask me anything. The mute over the phone always driving me crazy. What's the point of making phone call if you have nothing to say? Or you just want me to talk to you so you feel that you are being loved? So I think you don't care about me at all. Your love is selfish. You want to be with me, so you will no longer feel lonely. You need a sweet companion. And here the stupid me come. I love you, yes and this really puzzle me a lot. I keep complaining about you but every time I think about you, every time I complain about you, I want to cry. I want you to be with me and hug me to make me feel better. I cry because I don't feel that you love me. You keep saying the three words when you know I'm mad. This is bad. It's like you say those three words only because you want me not being mad, not because you really want to say it. You said you can make that bracelet. And you saw me buying it. I asked you maybe you can make that bracelet for me. You never seriously consider it. You just complain it's hard to get those threads. I asked you to write a song. You said you did but you never get a chance to finish it. You said you will never show me until it's perfect. I don't know when that day will come. It's sad. It's another sign that you don't love me that much anymore. You used to say that you miss me. You always write me letters on wechat. Now I know you lose your passion and I will never receive your letter again. I want to be your little girl. I still love you. But I'm also sad, feeling that the relationship is going downhill. Seeing how this will end, how things change. Seeing this relation is dying in front of my eyes. My heart is bleeding. Ah, I'm crying again.

[lynson]

My Secret. I'm a coward. I can't even post this on my Facebook. I'm sorry, to you and me.

[lynson]

还是让我单身吧 相处越久越发现此人的奇葩之处

[lynson]

分岔点

只是起了一个酷一点的名字 其实也不知道算不算分岔点 二十多年一直这样 虽有不甘 有时也会满怀希望的憧憬 有时偶尔失去希望觉得随便找一个别的下辈子再说吧 但是一切终归大体上是平静的 很传统的渠道认识了一修 高个子 来自同一个城市 性格外向 说话土土的 像吃减肥药一样 我抱着试一试的态度和他聊天 日子久了形成了一种依赖 以前感觉发短信简直是浪费时间 现在时不时就看看手机 我有时很enjoy这种感觉 但时间长成了一种瘾 慢慢也是一种折磨 而自己花越来越多的时间心思揣摩他所说的一切 我的天蝎座直觉和分析力告诉我他不会成为我期望的人 关于我的这步棋只是他达到别的目的的一种手段 有些后悔 当初不应该一脚踏进恋爱结婚的这个领域 我分析的太准 现在看他发来的短信 感觉自己恋上并失恋着 快乐并痛着 也许我们会结婚 但于他于我 最后也大概只是以婚姻来完成人生中的一个步骤吧 想到这里就想哭 可是其实也没有那么糟 至少他个子性格颜值都还好 不知道 其实也曾经被爸妈洗脑过 所以现在才会对他有好感 以后要吃有机鸡 否则得话会影响激素分泌让人多愁善感 就像现在的我一样。

[lynson]

摆渡人之歌 (by fburyzhao)

[lynson]

至少还有些剩菜，但这就是希望

大洋彼岸的人们，儿时的记忆和共同流淌的血液，就是剩菜。也是让我不会成为怪兽或是冷血动物的剩菜。

每天憋在家里为某件事做着准备。今天是周一，才发现已经足不出户已有四天之久。每天靠剩菜，减肥操和练习题来维持生活。无奈明天要上班，就不得不出门了。

偶尔会感觉自己怎么会是这样单调的生活着，心里却一直向往自由洒脱的日子。

但是我相信现在的乏味单调是一条必经之路。足不出户的日子让我与外界朋友的联系微乎其微了。但始终坚信，世界上一定有现在和我一样生活状态的人，在某个小屋子里，开着冷气，翻开书本，为某件事努力着。想到这儿，我就不孤单了。

[lynson]

[lynson]

Use me as you will, pull my string just for a thrill, and I know I will be ok, though my skies are turning grey......

[lynson]

The era of tape and MD has passed long time ago. What's the last time I listened to a song lyrics seriously? High tech, fast life, mindless life.

[lynson]

满腔苦水向谁诉

[lynson]

There are millions ways of saying loneliness. This is a good one.

[lynson]

The Girl With Dragon Tattoo Opening  这个片头真美×××××××××

[lynson]

My brain is a broken DVD player.One scene is in heaven, one scene is in reality. Sometimes it plays backward, sometimes it jumps to another piece of the movie. Like a messy life. How to make chaos back to normal?

[lynson]

当我以清醒的头脑和你说话的时候才发现原来你说话这么难听怪不得别人都说你不好

看来我真是从梦里醒过来了吧还是你越来越神经紧张以至于和任何人都无法相处

而作为朋友的我是该忍气吞声迁就你还是就这样冷漠对待或是干脆回避你

这要看你对朋友这个词是如何定义的了。这还真是个难题。

[lynson]

爸爸妈妈我爱你们

感觉这一年来自己偏离了乖乖的轨道 抽烟喝酒飞飞凌晨回家

可渐渐发现我对它的真心付出 仿佛像是把心给了别人 而那个人就把我的心放到绞馅机里绞碎然后填饱肚子一样

世界就是个残忍的循环

日出日落 周而复始

我的心被别人绞碎 而我父母的心也在被我残忍的绞着

今天的插曲让我知道了自己是一个多么狼心狗肺的孩子 在多么残忍的摧残着父母对我的一颗真心

所以我要阻止这场恶性循环 把我百分之八十的真心给父母

剩下那百分之二十 分给一个值不会将它绞碎 而是把它捧在手掌心里的人 

让冷血动物死去吧。