[marielschism]

mariel. 20. she/her, they/them. this is a side blog. pfp by @marielism i follow from @marielism 😭

what to expect here:

increasingly personal posts. rants (tagged as #bad days tag if you wish to avoid it!). i delete stuff a lot.

WIPs. stuff i like. some stuff i wrote.

pics of people i like. pics of me sometimes. pics of cats.

block #vincentposting if u dont want to see me be weird about marquis de gramont plz 😭😭

[marielschism]

i got prequalifying examinations tomorrow so i can keep being a psych major and if i don't pass those four specific 100 item exams i am not a real psych major and i deserve to get burnt at the stake for my crimes 😀 also i have to repeat the exam if i fail or i'll be forced to shift courses so thats like 3 years of suffering down the drain.

but also i have a confession: i haven't studied at all. so failing is a Very Real Thing bc i foolishly thought id be lucid enough to study during the last week and i am not. i dealt with a good case of summertime sadness (i have depression), spent my summer talking to people on dating apps and crying and going to the movies and playing sims 4 😀 i'm just. failure is very real and very corporeal for me. wish me luck?

[marielschism]

Insane bc I passed w flying colors and I stopped talking to the guy who made me miserable and yet I am still insanely unhappy!!! Very funny stuff tbf

[marielism]

cillian again

[marielschism]

watched oppenheimer again because my day was weird.

so during an important panel interview i burst into tears. the panelists informed me i am the first person to cry during an interview with them and i was filled with so much embarrassment i couldnt stop crying and one of the panelists gave me a hug???

i went outside to cool off and a member of the faculty saw me and talked to me about it because i was sobbing alone on a bench. and campus security saw me and they were like it's gonna be okay you'll get em next time. i got into a taxi because it was raining really hard and i was sobbing silently and i must have looked terrible all drenched in rain and crying with my ID lace still on that the driver wouldn't talk to me 😭

stop your sobbing by the pretenders started playing on the radio and i was like...on god I WILL...and i asked the taxi driver to drop me off at the mall so i could watch oppenheimer. mind U this was a saturday and the movies were packed because u kno cinema is back, barbenheimer etc etc and i was alone in line with bloodshot, puffy eyes, asking the seller for "One Ticket to Oppenheimer 4:45pm Please" and i had lunch at 3:30pm and.

my second viewing of oppenheimer was still as incredible as my first. wht a phenomenal film. he just like me (fumbled a panel interview)

when i got home my mom was like u said you'd be back by 5pm it's 9pm!!!! and i was like "sorry traffic was crazy and the interview was extended and my phone lost power" and she was like "okay fine" so everything is all good now

[marielschism]

i got prequalifying examinations tomorrow so i can keep being a psych major and if i don't pass those four specific 100 item exams i am not a real psych major and i deserve to get burnt at the stake for my crimes 😀 also i have to repeat the exam if i fail or i'll be forced to shift courses so thats like 3 years of suffering down the drain.

but also i have a confession: i haven't studied at all. so failing is a Very Real Thing bc i foolishly thought id be lucid enough to study during the last week and i am not. i dealt with a good case of summertime sadness (i have depression), spent my summer talking to people on dating apps and crying and going to the movies and playing sims 4 😀 i'm just. failure is very real and very corporeal for me. wish me luck?

[pennywises]

During the filming of John Wick: Chapter 4, actor Bill Skarsgård portrayed the Marquis de Gramont thinking of him as someone who came from an impoverished background before rising through the High Table's ladder to achieve a high-ranking position that allows him to savor a wealth he didn't have before, hence his tendency to savor the glittery suits he wears in most of his scenes. Whether this backstory is canon or not is unknown.

[marielschism]

still not normal about vincent de gramont ive just been very busy with uni 😔😔😔

[marielschism]

NO LONGER BUSY WITH UNI

[marielschism]

talk to me about the marquis (if yall r still into him) 🥺🥺🥺

[writingbyshiloh]

Stalker's Tango by Autoheart has SUCH strong the Marquis vibes, from the lyrics to the instruments and the tango rhythm 

[marielschism]

you'll never meet another him, and he won't let you forget it!!

[and he won't know this for a long time, but he'll never meet another you, too. hope he doesn't find out about this the hard way!!]

[marielschism]

talk to me about the marquis (if yall r still into him) 🥺🥺🥺

[pennywises]

Coyness, Mr. Nobody, is a pathetic trait. A miscalculation, in which by trying to hide our ego, we let it appear stark naked.

JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 4 dir. Chad Stahelski

[pennywises]

You are no longer New York. You are nothing. You are excommunicado. And as such, you no longer need the services of a concierge.

JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 4 dir. Chad Stahelski

[marielschism]

still not normal about vincent de gramont ive just been very busy with uni 😔😔😔

[marielschism]

life update: i hyperfixated so hard on biochem and i ended up lifting my grade from 75% to 94% in a single term like

[marielschism]

Writing feels like playing with barbies sometimes. This ken is weirdly obsessed with you!

[marielschism]

Me

[marielschism]

[st4rrg1rll]

having a crush is like i like u. but i don’t know u that well. i want to get to know u. i am scared of u. i love being around u. i want to run away when i see u. u make me feel butterflies. i think it’s anxiety. i think abt u at night. i daydream about u. when i’m around u i can hardly speak. when i’m around u i can’t stop talking. u make me feel so good. i feel like an idiot