i’m afraid that one day my anger will overshadow the little love i still have left for the world

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@memoryloss
i’m afraid that one day my anger will overshadow the little love i still have left for the world
My boyfriend broke up with me last week!!!! I cried for several days and begged him to take me back. Who knows if we will get back together or not. He doesn’t want to date rn so he can grow as his own person and focus on work. I also got semi drunk at a birthday party and accidentally told everyone that we broke up. I’ve been trying not to harm myself just in case he takes me back and sees I’m not crazy!!! But I hate waiting to see if he wants me or not. If he doesn’t want me anymore I don’t know what to do with my life. I guess you can’t trust anyone!! If he finds another girl he’ll definitely tell her his last gf was fucking mentally ill and crazy and it will be the end of me.
My boyfriend might not love me anymore, I relapsed back in to self harm, and I have zero money to support myself :) great start to 2023
I talked to my therapist about my skin picking issues and she says that I do have a disorder for it but she won’t diagnose me with it because it’s not the main thing that she is treating me for (CPTSD & depression). She also said I don’t meet the criteria for the distressing/impairing function part so idk even though it feels distressing for me socially wise??I meet all the other criteria for it though. However, she said if I get medication for it then technically I would get diagnosed for it because the psychiatrist would have to diagnose me with it in order for me to get medication for it since it’s what they are treating me for?? So I guess I do have it? Maybe I didn’t tell her everything about it but I told her what I remember about it and how it feels and she also has similar issues with skin picking as well but she doesn’t feel like it’s debilitating. So yes and no that I have it i don’t really know at this point..
If anyone could help me understand more better that would be appreciated and honestly all I wanted was a yes or no answer on whether I have it or not
that feeling when you pick at a spot and then you get The Sensation™ so you just keep picking at it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and ov
I get kinda sad watching new people finding the derma/bfrb community and realizing there's a name for it and they're not alone, and then also realizing that although it's medically recognized, there's no effective medication for it and most doctors don't know anything about it and there aren't a lot of success stories out there
honestly???? pisses me off that my brain at some point decided the solution to stress was to dEsTrOy ThE sKin
like that shit fucking hurts
and it solves precisely zero of my problems
it’s the literal neurochemical version of a fucking scam and it fills me with rage
me: "itll be fine if you just dont pick at it. its fine, you can stop now."
also me: "hhhgngnhhggnhgngngnnghhh but i ............ i must ......."
[ID: The Anakin and Padme meme. The first panel has the text, "the skin I picked at finally scabbed over." The second and fourth panels with Padme looking first happy then concerned both read "So now I'll let it heal, right?" /End ID]
no, no I will not let it heal
Is a cutscene in a video game so important that you give your girlfriend an attitude for asking something she need
Bonus points to the debate winner if we also just finished spending a whole day with friends or loved ones...
😤 The Audacity
Non traumatised people writing traumatized characters like “He walked around the room, wondering sadly why he couldn't have walked away from [trauma]. He then laid down, comforters soft, unlike the scarred skin around his scars. As he fell asleep, he braced himself for the nightmares that would be sure to follow.” shut up and give him a personality