First, thing, first, we start the scene in reverse
A knock comes at your door. You almost run to open it, but you don't find the person you were hoping for. It's not the person you have waited for, for days.
“Hi- Hi, miss Gojo…” A pink, messy head of hair greets you. Yuuji.
Yuuji, whose brown eyes look everywhere but you.
“What… What's going on?” You inquire, frowning as you look at the boy. “Why are you here? Where is he?”
Yuuji almost winces at the sound of your voice, and it's with shaky hands that he gives you a letter, neatly folded. Your name written on it in his messy handwriting.
All of the lines rehearsed, disappear from my mind
“I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. He didn't… he's not...”
He can't even finish the sentence, but you understand enough to stumble back, the realization cutting through your chest like a sword.
He's gone. Not like the other times. Not ‘gone’ in a ‘I'll be back before you know it!’ way.
He's gone, and this time forever.
“We found this letter, for you. I'm… sorry.” He apologizes again, still not meeting your eyes.
You take the letter from his hands, words desperate to come alive, but dying in your throat.
Desperate to say anything. Scream. Reassure — it's not his fault, because you know the kid is blaming himself when he shouldn't.
Anything. Anger. Pain. Regret.
Emotions and feelings that fight in your mind, in your heart, to be seen. To be heard.
And yet. Nothing comes out.
You blink away the tears that gathered in your eyes, trying to focus on the words inked on the paper.
I don't even know how I should start this. I guess an apology is the better option.
I'm sorry. For everything. For staying away, and for the things I said when I left you.
You briefly close your eyes to recall the last time you saw Satoru, right before he left for his mission, again.
When things got loud, one of us run it out
“You can't tell me to just drop everything and stay back! They need me!”
“I need you too, Satoru! What about me? What about you? You're going to die doing this!”
“You know I won't. I'm the strongest. I won't die.”
“You're human. And humans die. Please, Satoru, just this once.”
Pleaded, begged, prayed. Yearned for touch that left you cold and trembling. Longed for eyes that wouldn't meet yours.
“You don't understand! You can't even fight curses! You don't get it!”
He had regretted those words the moment they came out. He'd seen the hurt in your eyes. But instead of apologizing, of staying, of doing anything, he left.
He had left you there, ears ringing with hatred, hurt, disappointment.
He had left you there. No news about where he was, how he was doing, or what he was doing.
All you had were loving conversations that now felt fake, a facade, and doubt that clawed at your heart.
I should have turned around, but I had too much pride.
I was wrong for walking out like that. I was wrong for saying those things. I didn't mean it. I have never cared you couldn't see curses, you have never been a burden for that.
No time for goodbyes, didn't get to apologize, pieces of a clock that lies broken
I'm sorry I said that. I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I made you feel small.
I don't even know if you'll read this, but I don't care. I will apologize when I'll come back anyways.
If I could take us back, if I could just do that
Do you remember the park we went to for our first date, when we were still second years? I will take you there. I will do everything exactly as I did back then.
You remember that first date like it was yesterday. Mostly the amusement of seeing Gojo, cocky, arrogant Gojo, stumble over his own words, pale skin blushing anytime you talked to him.
Sometimes you still go there, sitting in the shadow of a tree which bark still bears both of your initials, carved so many years ago that it feels like another life.
And write in every empty space the words "I love you" in replace, then maybe time would not erase me
I'll show you I'm still your Satoru. Not the Strongest, not the Honored One. Just Satoru. I promise. I will do everything right. I can't lose you. You're the most perfect thing to every happen to me, the only thing I did right.
If you could only know, I never let you go, and the words I most regret, are the ones I never meant to leave
I will fix this. Just wait for me.
The paper is stained with tears by the time you're done reading, but you treasure it anyways.
Your eyes scan over the words again and again, his voice loud and clear in your head, like he's the one reading them to you.
You finally manage to look up from the paper, somehow finding it in yourself to give Yuuji the faintest ghost of a smile. And then, you simply hug him.
a/n: yeah so. I disappeared for a month. we don't talk about that.
anywho!! this little fic here is for Eden's Brutal Bakery Event!
mediocre attempt at angst. enjoy.
taglist: @motel6killer @sweethearticism @cinnamorollcrybaby @smuttiebunnie @whozeurdaddy @pleaseimastarv2
