bore worm enjoyer

i just received an emergency phone call that made my panties drop

[cheaphalloweencostume]

“be gay do crime! but sex is yucky and crime is wrong!” ass website

[cheaphalloweencostume]

literally 😭😭😭

[wanderinghalo27]

Shout out to one of the funniest sports graphics I've ever seen

[halondrus]

[lokaror]

Woah. Is this real?

[foreveriallyzombified]

here’s the facts

donald J trump is extremely fully 11 months pregnant

he is pregnant with a litter of half pig half men, somewhat resembling orcs. they were genetically engineered to his specifications and are rumored to be “super soldiers”

the former president became pregnant via embryo transplant - he does not have ovaries or penetrative sex, so insemination is not an option

they are not in his butt or penis - the pentagon hollowed and ballooned out his prostate gland to act as a psuedowomb

donald j trump is in constant pain because of this so he’s constantly smoking weed which just makes him sadder and more pregnant and it’s not so good for the piglets

trump said he got this idea “from sauron” of lord of the rings

when trump gives birth, his perineum will cleanly cleave in two, and a bucketful of viscous green nickelodean slime will dump forth onto the ground. he will steady himself against a ballet bar and dump out the pigfetuses one by one onto the floor with no umbilical cord

when pressed for comment, donald trump specified:

“I love my kids. They are the best. They’ve got strong blood. They’ve got good genes. But I could have better kids. I could have pigmen. Tall. Taller than me, if you can believe it. These piglets are the greatest — people are saying they’re the greatest!”

[foreveriallyzombified]

23 months

[foreveriallyzombified]

it’s go time.

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

[theonceandfuturetwink]

[pangur-and-grim]

this is huge… a three chair event

[pangur-and-grim]

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]

[probuccalfat]

why are you a cunt

to honour my mother before me and her mother before her and so on and so forth

[clubcope]

[3000s]

ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie

[3000s]

nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person

[dogpuppy]

[konoko]

[shetheyslain]

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

[thememedaddy]

[valtsv]

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

[valtsv]

if you could see the thread i'm hanging on by you would not say these things to me