NOT A CONCUPISCENT BOT.

13. ALTERNIAN. MALE. THAT'S NOT A PROPOSITION. 

[wolfram-blorbos]

having a resting bitchface is so funny because i'll be doing something relaxing, and really enjoying myself and my face will look like this

[i-was-kaguramutsuki-deactivated]

[jame7t]

Nice tumblr seems to have added a cursed jewel that will age you trillions of years in but the blink of an eye

[sovietnam]

[nookstain]

DRAGGING MY WORK WITHERED HUSK BACK TO MY DESK TO UTTER A SINGLE FORLORN PLEA INTO THE UNCARING ETHER BEFORE MY CARAPACE TURNS TO DUST AND FINALLY GIVES WAY TO ENTROPY, ITS HAUNTING ECHO IN THE COSMOS ALL THAT REMAINS TO TIP FUTURE SCHOLARS OFF ABOUT MY ILL-BEGOTTEN EXISTENCE:

YOU GUYS REMEMBER GAMES?

[potatoheadinwonderland-deactiva]

crossing my arms & going hmph about some things currently

[achillesinhighheels]

[footballluvr1994]

HOW DO YOU DO THAT.

[nookstain]

I MADE YOU A TUTORIAL OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF MY PUMP BISCUIT.

[footballluvr1994]

IF YOU THINK ANYONE ELSE IS KORE DESERVING OF THE ADDENDUM OF NOT A PORNBOT THAN TUMBLR USER FOOTBALLUVR1994 THEN YOU HAVE ANOTHER THING COMING, TUMBLR USER NOOKSTAIN. WHICH IS NOT EVEN HINTINGLY BOTTY.

I AM FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE AGAINST AUTO BLOCKS LEFT AND RIGHT OUT HERE.

[nookstain]

NO, YOU DEFINITELY TAKE THE CELEBRATORY BAKED CONFECTION WHEN IT COMES TO NONSENSE SPAM URLS. I'LL TAKE MY EDGY BODY PART HUMOR TO LANGUISH IN YOUR SHADOW AT THE SECOND PLACE PEDESTAL WHERE IT BELONGS, TRAGICALLY NOT BEING BLOCKED INSTANTLY BY EVERYONE ALIVE. FRANKLY I'M JUST SHOCKED THAT A VERSION OF ME COULD EVEN COME UP WITH SOMETHING SO ABJECTLY MEANINGLESS AND STUPID. WHAT ARE THE NUMBERS EVEN FOR. ALSO, "LUVR????"

[footballluvr1994]

HOLD UP! I THINK WE HAVE A KINDRED SPIRIT IN THE CLUB!

[footballluvr1994]

ME AND THIS GUY ARE BASICALLY IN LOVE NOW. SO TO THE REST OF YOU. FUCK YOURSELF.

[nookstain]

THIS IS THE SINGLEMOST SOBERING EXPERIENCE I'VE NEVER ASKED FOR.

[footballluvr1994]

OHHH I'M QUIVERING.

JUST THE MERE THOUGHT OF MY OWN SMARMY FACE SITTING UP TOP OF HIS HILL SORT OF GRITTING HIS TEETH SMUGLY DOWN AT ME FROM WHERE HE HIDES FROM HIS OWN ANTICS SENDS MY NOOK FLAPS TREMBLING, I AM CRAWLING ON THE GROUND AND BEGGING AND GROVELING TO YOU.

PLEASE SPARE ME KARKAT! MY WHOLE LIFE I HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN IT WOULD HAPPEN BUT TO SEE IT FINALLY COME TO FRUITION! TO HAVE THE SAME SCREAMY ASSHOLE SAY EMBARRASSING SHIT TO ME LIVE AND IN PUBLIC WITHOUT THE ADDED MONIKER OF PAST PRESENT OR FUTURE TO HIDE BEHIND!!

WHATEVER WILL I DO!!

STOP CRYING.

FOOTBALL IS A HUMAN SPORT WHERE HUMANS ENGAGE IN THE LONG BELOVED ACT OF "PLAYING CATCH" TO ASSUAGE THEIR FATHER'S ABSENCE IN THEIR LIVES. THEY DO THIS DRESSED IN APPROPRIATE WEARS TO HOPEFULLY LURE NEW "FATHERS" THAT THEY CALL "COACH" WHO WILL BE JUST AS DISAPPOINTED IN THEM AT THE END OF THE DAY AS THEIR ACTUAL FATHERS. BUT THIS ONE IS PAID IN LUCRATIVE STREET CRED AND ENDLESS GATORADE BOTTLES, SO HE CAN'T LEAVE.

YET.

[nookstain]

OH GREAT, HERE WE GODDAMN GO.

WHAT YOU *WOULD* HAVE REALIZED IF YOU WERE CAPABLE OF UTILIZING ANY PART OF YOUR THINKPAN TO DIGEST INFORMATION INSTEAD OF THROWING A HUGE PREEMPTIVE SHITSQUAWKING TANTRUM IS THAT I WAS TRYING TO SAVE BOTH OF US THE GRIEF OF LANDING IN ONE OF THESE SITUATIONS.

SO QUIT BULGECHAFING ABOUT WHATEVER IMAGINARY WAY YOU THINK I'M BARKING UP YOUR SEEDFLAP FOR TWO SECONDS AND ACTUALLY READ THE WORDS I'M SAYING ENOUGH TO REALIZE I'M NOT TRYING TO STEP UP TO YOUR FRAGILE EGO, IDIOT.

IF YOU DIDN'T THINK THIS WAS GOING TO BE ANYTHING BUT LABORIOUSLY AWFUL WHY DID YOU EVEN BOTHER FOLLOWING ME IN THE FIRST PLACE.

ARE WE DONE NOW????? I HAVE REAL FOLLOWUP QUESTIONS HERE THAT ARE GETTING BURIED UNDER THE TIDE OF PERFUNCTORY BULLSHIT.

LIKE. I THINK I GET MOST OF THAT. EXCEPT. WHAT'S A FATHER?

[ectopianist]

there we go, i think i have everything right this time!

[nookstain]

ARE YOU SURE???? I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED A FEW OPPORTUNITIES TO SLATHER HUMAN NIC CAGE'S PUTRESCENT VISAGE ACROSS THE INTERFACE.

PSYCH!!!! IT'D BE PHYSICALLY FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO BOMBARD MY DIGITAL EXPERIENCE WITH HIS WEIRD MAMMALIAN FACE ONE IOTA MORE WITHOUT CAUSING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL SPACIAL COLLAPSE, KILLING EVERYONE IN EXISTENCE INSTANTLY.

AT THAT POINT, AT LEAST IT'LL BE A MERCIFUL REPRIEVE FOR MY GANDERBULBS.

[idontthinkitwillhurtifyousmile]

[idontthinkitwillhurtifyousmile]

[nookstain]

@footballluvr1994

IF YOU'RE "ME" IN AS ACCURATE A REPRODUCTION AS SOCIAL POLICY ON THIS WEBSITE WOULD HAVE ME BELIEVE, I'M GOING TO TRUST THAT YOU'VE BEEN DREADING THE DAY THIS INEVITABLE MASTURBATORY ENCOUNTER WOULD COME TO PASS AS MUCH AS I HAVE, AND IN INTEREST OF CONSERVING OUR COLLECTIVE SANITY I JUST HAVE ONE QUESTION.

WHAT THE EVERLASTING FUCK IS A FOOTBALL???

[punkkroc]

HumAAns AAren't ReAAl.

[nookstain]

[godheader]

do you have furaffinity

[nookstain]

DO YOU EVER SAY ANY WORDS THAT MAKE SENSE. ON THE OFF CHANCE. OR IS IT ALL LIKE THIS?

[godheader]

whoa dude thats sick

do you think naruto and sasuke were in a kismesistude

[nookstain]

WHO???????