pick me up whenever you want

funny vine number

[novaqueenofmadness]

♡⌒ヽMy Treasure Cove

*:･ﾟ✧ Trinkets

Pieces i've absolutely adored

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pieces i've written

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Pieces i've found to be spicy //that means show your IDs at the door or beat it punk 🤚

[robs-your-robins]

can we have ma , pa kent and the rest or the super fam's reaction to timkon baby . its just been so stuck in my mind little baby

Pa, holding the baby: So this is our great-grandson?

Clark: No, Pa, not-

Pa, glaring at Clark: This is our great-grandson, Clark. Our great-grandboy.

Clark: He has Conner's DNA and Tim's, he's like Conner was, not really-

Pa, adamantly: I'm a farmer, Clark. I know all about DNA and genes and I got to say, he's got my nose. Like you did.

Clark: Sure, pop.

Ma, holding her great-grandson: You remind me so much of your grandpa. But you won't chew on my vacuum cleaner, won't you? No, you won't, because your mommy is so clever, isn't he? Tim, dear, have another cookie.

Tim, full to bursting: Mrs Kent-

Ma: You know full well that it's Ma. And you need your strength. Now, once you're done your cookies, you go have a lie down, you hear?

Lois, eyeing Clark pushing a pram: Did you fuck Bruce Wayne again?

Clark: Oh my god Lois, Dick is not my biological son, put away the red string, you didn't connect the dots.

[papayafromtv]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 70 (masterpost here)

Jason: hold on, it's on my phone, let me pull it up.

Tim, audibly delighted: i can't believe you do this-!

Bruce: Robin, don't get distracted, i need you on my six.

Damian: *already distracted, somewhat forlorn* i wish you were an owl...

Bruce: that's not- *pause* what?

Damian: they don't need people on their sixes. they can turn their heads and just look.

*silence*

*distant crashing and gunshots*

Bruce: shit- focus, Robin!

Jason: i got it, it's still here.

Tim: please god read it out,

Bruce: *amidst grunting* you two aren't helping.

Jason, dismissively: then switch to a different line? everybody knows line seven is Red Hood's territory; go back to line one.

Dick: who needs to go back to line one?

Tim: ...Dick you've been here for thirty minutes, how are you not hearing us.

Dick: sorry- you know that thing where you disassociate and drive, and then you snap back to yourself as you pull up the driveway and you have that moment of 'how the fuck am i still alive?'? i think i did that with swinging.

Jason, grunting casually: oh yeah, i get that sometimes.

Dick, mystified: how the fuck did i get to Bristol...? sorry, anyway- what are we on?

Tim: Jason's grudge list.

Dick: Jason's what now?

Jason: i have a list on my phone of the worst things everybody has done to me, so i can keep track of how much revenge i need to get to 'win'.

Damian: ...win what?

Jason: shut up. aren't you fighting?

Damian: it's not that complicated a fight.

*distant gunshot*

Damian, casually, after a beat: Father?

*sounds of punching, hitting*

Bruce: yes?

Damian: how good of a mood would you say you're in?

Bruce: ...why?

Tim: i'm calling it now he got shot- you got shot, didn't you?

*silence*

Damian: tis' but a flesh wound-,

Bruce, resigned: oh my god- Robin.

Damian: you didn't watch my six.

Tim: *laughs*

Damian: it didn't even hit anywhere important,

Bruce: i don't care- just go to the batmobile and get the first aid kit, i'll be there after i finish getting the evidence i needed.

Damian: *groans*

Dick: are you guys done? because i wanna know what's on Jason's list for me.

Tim: yeah i'm- i'm also very invested in this. actually- is Damian on there?

Jason: uhhhh- yeah, by the bottom. i don't update this that much, to be fair.

Damian: what's written for me?

Jason: it just says 'looks too much like Bruce'.

Tim: *instant snickers*

Dick: wait wait- what's on there for Bruce then?

Jason: Bruce's- *laughs* ok, Bruce's has stayed the same since before i went to Ethiopia, and it's still the most evil thing he's ever done to me.

Bruce: *confused grunt*

Jason: according to the list, the meanest shit Bruce has ever done to me was when I was thirteen years old and he took me to an evening afterparty for this opera event, and i was bored as fuck with all the other rich-people kids and i wanted to go home, so to discreetly get B's attention, i texted him-,

Bruce: oh- *snort* ok i remember this.

Dick: what happened?

Jason, indignant: i texted him asking if we could go home, and this piece of shit proceeds to look at the text in the middle of this circle of people he's talking to, read the text from me OUT LOUD TO THEM, and then he looked at me across the room and yelled out 'what's wrong, chum? who don't you like, why do you wanna leave so early?'

Tim: *long noise of sympathy*

Dick: *cackling* THAT'S SO BAD????

Bruce: *another snort*

Jason: shut up Bruce. -and you wonder why we hated you; honestly.

Bruce: you were- *struggling to tamp down his amusement* you were being a handful, and that was the quickest way i could think of to make you want to be quiet.

Dick: *more cackles*

Jason: worst moment of my life to date, and i've literally been murdered.

Bruce, slightly amused: oh come now, chum, that's dramatic.

Jason: IT'S NOT THOUGH??? IT'S PUBLIC HUMILIATION!

Tim: *wheeze*

Damian: *hiss of pain* oh- woooaaahhhhhh,

Dick, still snickering: -uh, Dami?

Damian: hm? oh, sorry, no, carry on, don't mind me- *under his breath* huh, that's cool.

Bruce, slightly concerned: Robin, where are you? i thought i told you to wait in the car.

Damian: i am in the car.

Bruce: then what are you doing?

Damian: taking out the bullet i got shot with.

Tim: ...the hell is 'cool' about that?

Damian: there's a second one already in there that i didn't know about.

*a beat*

Dick, baffled: what?

Bruce, stern: Robin what's your status, are you ok?

Jason: when the fuck did you even last get shot?

Damian: i dunno, that's why it's cool. i guess i forgot about it?

Tim: dude- what the fuck even is your life.

Damian: yeah i don't- oh, i think the second one was blocking a vein- shit, there's blood on the seats,

Dick: oh my god BRUCE GO TO YOUR KID-

Bruce: I'M GOING-

Tim, mumbling: like father like son,

Jason, instantly: -shut it or i put you on the list.

[papayafromtv]

scenarios Alfred Pennyworth has to be a witness to as a resident of Wayne Manor that the batkids have absolutely no shame in front of whatsoever part 16 (masterpost here)

*Alfred bringing tea and a plate of biscuits down to the cave during a monthly mandatory strategy meeting, with Bruce stood at the head of a table all the kids are seated around*

Duke: i shouldn't even have to be here, i'm the only one on dayshift.

Jason: uh- i reject that; i'm doin' shit during the day too, y'know.

Duke, without missing a beat: that's because you're unemployed and have no civilian friends, there's a fucking difference Jason.

Dick: *covers his mouth, snickering*

Bruce: now, boys-

Jason: i will jump over this table, brightshit. try me.

Duke: *flips Jason off*

Jason, starting to get up: oh you want it-?

Alfred, pointedly putting the tray of snacks down in between them, giving them both warning glares: i trust that the meeting is going well?

*a beat*

Jason, sitting back down: dammit,

Bruce: *sigh* thank you, Alfred. now if we could just get back to-

Duke: i still don't want to be here.

Bruce: oh for- we've been over this, Duke. everybody has to attend these meetings.

Damian: just because you say something is mandatory doesn't mean it's actually necessary. it's subjective.

Bruce: it's not subjective, it's fact. if we don't take time to co-ordinate ourselves then we're more liable to miscommunicate and get ourselves, or others, hurt. it's important that we take this time to go over protocols and codes, as well as alert everybody of upcoming missions. it's not like you have anything better to do tonight, Damian.

Damian: what the hell,

Dick: oooh~

Damian: how dare you; i have plenty of ways to spend my evening, thank you very much-

Bruce, pinching the bridge of his nose: i didn't mean it that way, chum, can we just-

Damian: for starters, Drake and I have a new Lego set to construct, which you are selfishly taking time away from!

Steph, squinting across at Tim: sorry, you two build Lego sets together?

Tim: *defensive* what, mad that he doesn't play with you?

Steph, turning to Damian incredulously: well fucking yes?? dude- i ask you to hang out all the time. how come you'll play with Tim but not me!?

Damian, easily: because your version of hanging out is just dragging me all over Gotham while we stalk your English professor. i don't give a fuck which of the PA's he's hooking up with, Brown. i just want to build Lego.

Alfred: *watches with narrowed eyes as Cass slowly leans forward and drags the entire plate of biscuits towards herself*

Bruce: Damian, language.

Damian: me?!

Dick: fuck yeah, bring down the hammer, B.

Bruce, exhausted: can we all just-

Damian, planting his hands on the table: NO, WHY AREN'T YOU GETTING MAD WHEN THEY SWEAR?

Bruce: Damian- sit back down,

Jason, casually putting his feet on the table: it's 'cause you do it wrong, Dames. the curse word has to fall off the tongue comfortably, so that nobody even realises it shouldn't be in the sentence. *tipping his head up to show his mouth* you gotta- like this, roll your tongue slightly, just let it fall off, see: cunt.

Damian, copying: cunt.

Jason: cunt,

Damian: cunt.

Bruce, staring between the two in defeat: *makes eye contact with Alfred pleadingly*

Alfred: *shrugs*

Jason: cunt,

Damian: cunt, like that?

Jason: yeah, but in a sentence.

Damian: Dick Grayson is a cunt. like that?

Jason: yeah you got it.

Dick: WOAH WOAH- why am i catching strays? the fuck did i do?

Tim, flatly: if you hadn't fucked up the protocol code names three months ago, we wouldn't have to do these meetings.

Duke, pointing at Tim in agreement: that's true.

Dick: I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE, JACKASSES, STEPH DID IT TOO!

Steph: at least i was concussed. you're just an idiot.

Dick: *visibly offended* i'll have you know-

Bruce, snapping: ok that is IT. all of you sit back down, we are going over the current standing protocols and that is FINAL. none of you are leaving until i dismiss you, and if you don't comply then you will be benched for the foreseeable future, understood?

*silence*

*the kids awkwardly exchanging glances as they settle back down into their chairs*

Bruce, sighing in relief: finally. now, can we all-

Jason: *sticks his hand up in the air*

Bruce:

Bruce: *wary* what is it about, Jason?

Jason, innocently: i have a question about the protocols.

Bruce: ...go on then.

Jason: what's the protocol for when you let a call from your overbearing father go to voicemail because you're busy getting it on with Roy Harper mid-patrol, and then said overbearing father just hacks into your private com line mid-fuck anyway, completely ignoring your boundaries and throwing off the mood, all because he wanted to ask whether or not you'd prefer fish or chicken for the family barbeque that weekend?

*complete and utter silence*

Alfred: *stares in disappointment at a rapidly reddening Bruce*

Duke, grinning wildly as he looks between Bruce and Jason: has that ever happened?

Jason, flatly: three times.

Bruce:

Bruce:

Cass: *loudly crunches on biscuits*

Bruce: ok Jason you can go,

Jason, already leaping out his chair: SEE YOU SUCKERS-

Steph: WOAH- HOLD ON, HOLD ON-

Dick: THAT'S SO UNFAIR,

Duke: JUST BECAUSE HE'S A SLUT HE GETS TO AVOID THE MEETINGS?!

Bruce: -STOP SHOUTING AT ME-

Damian: so what i'm hearing is that to get out of these ridiculous things, i just have to tell Jon he's allowed to hit?

*silence*

Bruce, to Damian: ...ok you're grounded,

Tim: Steph, i know we broke up years ago and you're technically my sister now but i feel like this is for the greater good-

Steph: you and i have the same mind, Timmy-boy.

Bruce, distraught: NO-,

[odylakes]

Imagine a Peter in Gotham™️ AU where Spider-Man is a comic franchise in the DC universe already, so the entire Batfamily just thinks this is some comic nerd taken too far.

On a roof, somewhere in Gotham;

Red Robin: So… Spider-Man?

Peter: Yup!

Red Robin: So uncreative you couldn't come up with your own name, or…?

Nightwing, in his comm line: RED!

Peter: Uhhhh, what?

Red Robin: You know? The comic?

Peter: There’s a comic about me?

Red Robin: You know the— About you?

Peter: I gotta read that.

Red Robin: You—

Peter swings away, blissfully unaware of the chain of confusion he’s just caused in the Wayne manor for the next week.

They eventually come to the conclusion that Peter just jumped straight out of the comic book, rather than coming from a different dimension after (insert Peter goes to Gotham plot here). Peter is clueless.

In DC’s Spider-Man comics, Spider-Man’s real identity is some other name, not Peter Parker. It’s like. James Jackson or something. He is also drawn, Peter is not, so the similarities are harder to spot.

So the Batfamily is stuck trying to find this ‘James Jackson’ in Gotham while Peter sees Barbara everyday at the Gotham Library to find more Spider-Man comics.

It’s a mess Peter definitely abuses when he finds out about it, like the little shit he is.

[erinwantstowrite]

Heyy!!!

[nyukaart]

My DC x WHA au.. are the people interested in more...🤔

[novaqueenofmadness]

yankee with no brim

[jasontoddscrowbars]

Dick high after getting his wisdom teeth removed: I hid the body.

Bruce, suddenly concerned not about his child admitting to a murder but outing himself as Robin and Bruce as Batman-

Dick: Bruce is Batman.

The doctor stares at Bruce. Bruce stares at the doctor.

Doctor: awe, that’s cute honey, but Batman’s got twice the muscle as your dad and a bigger ass.

Bruce:

Doctor: so tell me more about this body.

Dick: I killed a man once with a crowbar.

Jason, behind them: you fucking prick.

Tim, recording the whole thing: Bruce’s flat ass is trending.

[bearcosmic]

Tim, walking into the Batcave and noticing everyone’s distraught appearance: What’s wrong?? Who died??

Stephanie: We have bad news Tim. You should sit down.

Tim: Oh shit did someone actually die?? Who was it this time?

Dick: Remember that civilian that we catch trailing after us every so often? The one who was involved in the Penguin incident awhile ago?

Tim: Oh. Clarissa O’Neal? What about her?

Damian: She was taken hostage by one of Black Masks henchmen. We didn’t make it in time to save her.

Tim: ? And that’s why you guys are so upset? C’mon guys lighten up, it’s movie night

Jason, getting visibly pissed: What the Fuck dude. A civilian we were close to fucking died because we didn’t make it in time

Dick: I know you didn’t like her much but show a bit of empathy Timmy. You usually take these situations seriously

Tim: I’ve been trying to kill her off for ages. Why would I be upset??

Steph: Tim you have 10 seconds to fix your attitude before i fix it for you

Jason: Since when do you take people’s lives so lightly? Dude you need to leave before I do something i regret.

Tim: I didn’t know you guys were so attached to her. I could revive her if you want, but honestly it’s more effort than it’s worth. And she was getting unwanted attention from the rogues so she had to go.

Damian: Revive?? Timothy what are you on about? And why are you saying that like you personally set up her demise?

Tim: Because I did? The planning for it took forever but I have to admit everything went a lot better than I was expecting.

Dick: TIM WHAT—

Jason: WHAT THE HELL—

Damian: MURDER? You?!

Steph, screaming over everyone else: WAIT SHUT UP

Steph: TIM NO YOU DID NOT

Steph: TIM DON’T TELL ME YOU DID IT AGAIN

Dick: Again?!? What are you talking about?!

Steph, laughing: Guys calm down. HE was Clarissa

Tim: You guys didn’t know??

Jason: HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT THE HISPANIC LOOKING WOMEN IN HER MID TWENTIES AND A CRIME ALLEY ACCENT WAS YOU

Dick: Tim i am THIS CLOSE to burning down your disguise room.

Damian: Timothy explain yourself

Tim: I had an undercover op that I needed a female field agent for a couple years ago to infiltrate penguins operations. Over time She became a bit too important and Black mask was threatening her. So I decided to kill her off. I got the info I needed already and it was becoming a bit of a drag keeping up appearances

Steph: You need to stop getting us emotionally invested in your aliases and then killing them off. This is the fourth time you did this to me. I’ll never forgive you for Alvin Draper, I still grieve him even though i know you’re alive!

Tim: YOU guys need to start recognizing me in disguise. Worlds greatest detectives MY ASS

Jason: DUDE YOU GAVE YOURSELF DOUBLE D’s WHY WOULD WE ASSUME THAT WAS YOU

Damian: My training in this area has been neglected. Timothy show me your disguise lair

Tim: Sure, after movie night. Let’s go

Dick: This is gonna bite us in the ass. Damian is already so good at impressions. We will never know if someone we are talking to is him or not

Tim: LMAO When i’m done with him? Yea everyone’s fucked

Steph: It’s gonna give Roger from American dad

Bruce from the corner: *Breathes a sigh of relief*

Bruce at the Batcomputer: *Sighs and moves Clarissa O’Neal from ‘Real Civilian Death’ folder to ‘Tim’s Fake Identities’ folder. Creates new folder labeled ‘Damian’s Fake Identities’

[stillnotsquashed]

Damian: Out of respect for the Robin name, I have been researching the person who originated it: Mary Grayson (nee Lloyd). Bruce: Oh, find anything good? Damian: Were you aware she had a criminal record? Bruce: Yes. Tim: Of course. I have a copy of it at home. Jason: I mean I didn't. But I'm not surprised. Damian: Why not? Jason: Because I've met her son. I imagine Mary Grayson was involved in every anti-authoritarian protest she came across on her travels. What I would be more interested in is learning exactly what Janet Drake was up to to create Master Stalker over there.

[bearcosmic]

Dick: No. I refuse, get somebody else to do it.

Tim: Dick, no one else is even in the running. please be so fr right now

Damian: What are you arguing about?

Dick: Damian! Damian can do it! He’d be great at it.

Tim: No, Damian’s gonna follow his paternal grandfathers lead and be a doctor. Everyone only has to take on ONE element of Bruce. Try again

Jason: They are arguing about which one of us should be the newest representative for the Justice League for when Bruce finally conks it.

Damian: That would be an honor no? Richard you would be a competent ruler.

Cas: Leader

Damian: Whatever. I assume Timothy will be taking on WE in the event of father’s passing, so wouldn’t Jason also be in the running?

Tim: No i called dibs on Jason

Jason: What? What are you talking about. You can’t call dibs on me. What if I want to run the Justice League?

Tim: You don’t. You are going to run the Wayne foundation. Take from the rich give to the poor. Modern day Robin Hood—Very on brand for you. Don’t worry I have the contracts and everything ready.

Jason: …

Jason: Ok deal. Sorry Dickie, looks like your going to rule the interplanetary alliance :P

Dick: I don’t wanna!

Tim: What, do you wanna switch?

Dick: Well, no—

Tim: Also you’re the only one that makes sense.

Dick: I’ll do anything else, please that’s too much responsibility.

Tim: Okay. Be Batman.

Dick: …

Dick: Yea never mind. Running the Justice League won’t be that hard.

Damian: Wait so who will be Batman?

Cass: Dibs

Damian, Tim, Jason, Dick: Fair

Bruce, who’s been sitting at the dining room table with them the whole time: Are you done dividing my assets and responsibilities between yourselves now? Can we eat our dinner?

[robs-your-robins]

I know it never happened but I don't care. I want the rogues to have been slightly bemused at the concept of a Robin, so when they kidnap them or interact them they are a little playful with them or at very least, remember they're kids and act accordingly.

Like Two Face asking what the terms and conditions they agreed to in their contract with Batman. Do they get breaks? Are they entitled to benefits? And Harvey is trying not to laugh when Robin rattles off contract law to a bewildered Batman and demands extra dessert privileges in recompense.

The Riddler patiently repeating riddles or making them kid friendly, always looking so proud when they crack a riddle before getting annoyed because the fun is over? But Batman, look how clever this kid is? Are you watching?

Harley who capers and jokes around for the amusement of Robin, mainly because Joker is doing something that no kid should see and despite everything, she's doing her best to distract them from something that will scar them deeply and that's not funny, even if Mister J says it is.

But eventually the shift happens and rogues no longer care that it's a kid in the cape or they're too jaded to pretend any of this is a game any more. But there was a time.

[singse]

"so...wife did your hair today?" sokka asks, feigning nonchalance as he takes in the intricate braid zuko's hair is in. it's a gorgeous piece of work, decorated with small flowers that match the red and orange of his robes.

"she did," zuko answers easily, his lips curving into a fond smile. "isn't she so talented? i told her not waste her efforts on me but—"

"she glared at you with the wrath of a thousand men?" sokka finished, his own smile soft and any teasing remarks vanishing off his tongue. "well, i'm glad she glared you into submission because it looks really good on you, man."

zuko blinks before his eyes narrow. "if you're making fun of my wife's handiwork—"

sokka snorts. "i don't have a death wish." he pats zuko on the back, grinning. "you do look nice and tell her that i'd love for her to braid my fabulous hair one of these days."

"i don't think so," zuko snipes but he's grinning too, his fingers brushing over the braid with the love and attention it deserves.

[melzula]

i rarely see firebender wife x zuko so can i please request that? a scenario where she gets mad at him or something

a/n: hope you enjoy the request anon! <3

summary: a tense dinner results in a long overdue apology from your husband

The bitter taste of fruit tart on your tongue pales in comparison to the bitterness you feel in your heart as you stare at the empty seat across from you. This is the fifth day in a row you’ve had to eat dinner alone, and you’re starting to grow tired of your husband’s abandonment. You understand as Fire Lord Zuko has a responsibility to his nation, but as his wife he also has a responsibility to you. You never imagined becoming Fire Lady would feel so lonely, yet here you are enjoying your dessert on your own.

The gilded doors of the dining room swing open and announce the presence of the Fire Lord as he walks in with an apologetic smile that only seems to further fuel your anger. He’s an hour late to your dinner and yet there seems to be no sense of urgency as he comes to press a chaste kiss to your cheek.

“I’m sorry I’m late, the council meeting took longer than I anticipated,” he explains deprecatorily while taking his seat across from you. You only offer a brief hum of acknowledgement in response as you take a sip of your tea, peering over the rim to watch him take a bite of his meal. His chewing immediately falters in time with the grimace that appears on his face as he struggles to swallow. “My food’s a bit cold.”

“Why don’t I warm it up for you?” You offer with a pleasant smile only for your amicable facade to immediately fade as your sharpened gaze hones in on his plate. With a precise flick of your fingers a blast of fire strikes his dish, setting his food ablaze and effectively startling your husband in the process as he reels back from the flames.

Picking up the freshly charred piece of meat with a wince, Zuko takes a nervous swallow as he meets your gaze. “Alright, clearly you’re upset with me.”

“Really? What gave it away?” You ask with a sarcastic roll of your eyes. Sighing, your husband pushes his plate aside while lifting his remorseful gaze to meet your resentful stare. He hates bearing the responsibility for your anger, and he wants nothing more than to fix what is troubling you so you can both enjoy what is left of the evening together.

“I’m sorry I missed dinner. I know I promised to spend time with you, but there were urgent matters that needed my attention.”

“I need your attention, Zuko!” You remind him in exasperation. “It wasn’t just tonight’s dinner you’ve missed but every dinner this week! I know you have duties to fulfill as Fire Lord, but you promised me when we married that we’d be equals. Yet all I do is sit around the palace waiting for you to finish your council meetings in the hopes of receiveing a morsel of your time.“

“We are equals,” Zuko insists only to receive an indignant scoff from you in response.

“The most meaningful contribution I’ve made as Fire Lady so far is picking out a new china pattern for meals you can’t even bother to attend!”

You watch the guilt wash over Zuko’s face at your admittance, the room falling into a state of contemplative silence as neither of you speak. You know your actions may come off as childish or even selfish to some, but you don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect him to make time for you. Zuko has always adored you; he’d asked you to be his wife with the promise of cherishing you and spoiling you for the rest of your years, yet you found yourself becoming nothing but a pretty decoration in the palace. You wanted more than that, you deserved more than that, but it seemed the Fire Lord couldn’t keep his promises.

“I’m going to bed,” you announce sullenly, rising from your seat without meeting his silent stare. “I’ll ask the servants to fetch you another plate.”

You move to walk past him only for his hand to reach out and grab onto your arm. His hold is firm but gentle, effectively keeping you in place as you curiously peer over your shoulder at him. Zuko rises from his seat, still not daring to break the silence as he lifts a hand to carefully cup your cheek. Despite still feeling furious with him, you can’t resist melting into the heat of his palm. You’ve missed his touch after being apart nearly every day, so you don’t protest when he envelops you in his arms with a warm embrace.

“I’ve been careless, and I’ve foolishly allowed myself to forget your needs,” he confesses in earnest, tenderly rubbing the small of your back the way he knows you love. “I’m sorry for not being a good husband, but I’m going to make it up to you. I’ll cancel my meetings for the rest of the week and have the beach house prepared for a romantic getaway to Ember Island. No councils, no obligations— just the two of us together.”

“You really mean that?” You utter in surprise, eyes scanning his features for any signs of insincerity. Instead you’re met with his loving smile as his lips come to press a kiss to your forehead.

“Of course I do, my love. My obligations lie not only to our people but to you as well, and I’m sorry I allowed myself to lose sight of that. When we return from our trip I’ll make it so you can be present for every council meeting. As an intelligent strategist and master fire bender I know your input will help me continue to guide the Fire Nation into a new era of love and peace.”

“Thank you, Zuko,” you profess ardently, bestowing him with an impassioned kiss that has him pulling you closer against his frame.

A content sigh falls past his lips when you finally part, and it’s with great reluctance he finally lets you go. “I’ll let you pack your things while I make the arrangements for us to leave as soon as possible. I plan to spend the entire trip showing you just how sorry I am.”

Your stomach flutters with nervous excitement at his implications, the faint smirk on his lips clearly conveying his intentions for you once you’re both alone at the beach house. You don’t argue with him as you excuse yourself to begin preparing for the trip, already forgetting the fact that you’d initially been furious with him in the first place. You trust Zuko to keep his word to you, and you know that no matter how busy he gets your happiness will always be his first priority. You also trust he means it when he says he has plans to convey his remorse to you for the entirety of the trip in ways that are sure to earn your forgiveness.

You think you really should get into fights with your husband more often.

~~~

tags: @livelaughlovekuni @rosieposiediditagain @radicaldualism @peterparkersgirlf @heartfully10 @moonflowergirlsworld @bibimysoul @kxkuma

[icaffs]

( Dick storming into the room )

Dick: I HATE EVERYTHING

Bruce: what happened this time

Dick: I entered a nightwing lookalike contest

Bruce: why ?

Dick: Roy bet me fifty dollars I would loose

Dick: and I did loos

Bruce:

Dick: TO JASON

Jason: ( cackling from the room next door )

[angst-fairy]

Random villain: *successfully disarmed both Nightwing and Robin (Tim Drake) leaving both their weapons on the ground*

Robin and Nightwing: *quickly pick back up the weapons closest to each of them, but Tim ends up with Nightwings escrima sticks and Dick is left holding Robins bo staff*

Villain: Ha! You may be good, good enough to rearm yourself in a matter of seconds even, but you idiots rely to heavily on one weapon. Your at a disadvantage without them, and now I have the upper hand!

Nightwing: *wordlessly snaps the bo staff into two sticks with the click of a button*

Villain: Uh...

Robin: *grinning, twists the escrima sticks together to form a bo staff*

Villain: ....Fuck

[papayafromtv]

big BIG fan of hardened hero/vigilante types having regular but non-negotiable fears. especially when those hardened hero/vigilante types are the batfamily. because as much as those guys are seen as cryptids and unbeatable legends that somehow manage to beat every meta around them without breaking a sweat, they are just. a group of guys. and i think that’s very fucking funny and people should be reminded of that more often.

-

*the JLA holding a super important strategy meeting in the batcave*

Batman: -the main priority is to ensure the safety of the surrounding area even in the case of a fight, so we’ll have people stationed around the perimeter just in case. Hood, can you grab me the signal flares from the store room? you’re closest.

Red Hood, walking over: *grunts*

Batman: *continues to explain his plan as in the background Jason walks into the store room, pauses, and then promptly walks right back out*

Red Hood: *sweetly, from the doorway* Robin?

Robin: mm?

Red Hood: would you like to go into the store room for me? my darling, favourite brother-mine?

Robin:

Robin, eyes half-lidded: is there a spider in there?

Red Hood: maybe.

Robin, sighing in exasperation as he starts walking over: you really need to start trying to deal with these yourself, Hood. you can’t call me every time-

The Flash, watching Damian emerge with a small spider in the palm of his hand while Jason refuses to come out of the corner of the cave: doesn’t that guy chop peoples heads off sometimes…?

-

*Aquaman, on a mission with Nightwing and Batman, on a platform in the middle of the ocean*

Aquaman: if you have your rebreathers then you can follow me down, it’s not too deep a dive to the site.

Nightwing: *staring into the water* mhm.

Batman: *watching Nightwing in amusement*

Aquaman: …Nightwing, are you ok?

Nightwing, still staring: oh- hm? yep. yep, i’m good. i’m- yeah. lets go. lets do this.

Aquaman:

Batman: he has thalassophobia. he doesn’t like deep, empty waters.

Aquaman:

Nightwing: *staring down*

Batman: *faux shoves Dick forward, as if to push him in*

Nightwing, shrieking and jumping back: bRUCE- I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT-

-

Superman: the victim’s in that room, if you need to examine the body.

Red Robin: got it, thanks.

Red Hood: so what actually happened to the guy?

Superman, as Tim leaves: well, it seems like the virus infects the mind and causes intense delusions. we think he was driven crazy and ended his own life. it’s… not pretty in there. he stabbed himself in the eye with a pencil.

Red Hood: *whistles* *pauses* wait. in the eye?

Superman: yeah. why?

Red Hood:

Red Robin: *slams out of the other room, falls to his knees vomiting*

Superman:

Red Hood, watching Tim calmly: yeah he’s got this thing about things in peoples eyes?

Superman:

Superman: really?

-

Green Arrow: shit, that’s a nasty scratch you got there, Bats. right across the eye, too.

Batman: *grunt*

Green Arrow: who’d you fight to get it?

Batman: Robin.

Green Arrow:

Green Arrow: Damian did that?

Batman: hn.

Green Arrow: …why?

Batman: he had a cavity and i had to take him to the dentist.

Green Arrow:

Batman: he’s scared of the dentist.

Green Arrow: wasn’t he raised by the league of assassins?

Batman: he’s scared of the dentist.

Green Arrow:

[papayafromtv]

damian heard about bruce’s fear of bats ending in him deciding to become batman, went to the dentist once, and instantly decided he needed to go to medical school.