But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it the most? - Mark Twain
This has always been one of my favorite quotes

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Keni
Stranger Things
occasionally subtle

Discoholic 🪩
Show & Tell
DEAR READER

JBB: An Artblog!
dirt enthusiast
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Cosimo Galluzzi
styofa doing anything
almost home
Peter Solarz

★
Xuebing Du
RMH
YOU ARE THE REASON
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
seen from Slovakia

seen from Russia
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seen from Netherlands
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@nuclearfurnace
But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it the most? - Mark Twain
This has always been one of my favorite quotes
LORD FARQUAD
Maybe it’s a bit unfair to expect so much for people to understand us, when most of the time we don’t even understand ourselves.
Sereno Sky, “Lonely Traveller” (via hippieseurope)
(via tonyhawk)
remember when you used to go over to your friend’s house and you’d go down to the “computer room” to the dad’s old shitty desktop computer and sit on the giant black leather computer chair and your friend would show you charlie the unicorn and epic rap battles of history type of stuff on youtube while their younger siblings bugged you for a turn to use the computer
…this is so specific but… yes I do remember.
positive things…
Clinton lost Florida by 3%.
The third party was at 4%.
But hey…at least you all took a stand right?
Yeah because I voted for who I wanted, not for who everyone else wanted
Yeah?
And how’d that work out for you?
Jesus fucking Christ
One more day until the presidential race of 2020 begins
Why aren’t we talking about this??!!
this is important!
We know why.
It doesn’t fit the narrative..
Can we get this dude a kickstarter to raise enough for a high-end meal and cab fare for him and his family? He clearly deserves it.
(Marine Corps Times article) (CBS news story)
“By creating the exit, Yousuf estimated that about 70 people were able to get out of the nightclub safely.” He saved 70 people. That’s 70 more people that could have died that night. This is so important.
by Takeshi Suga | Camera Poetica | Facebook | Lost In Eternity |
Read about each victim of the Orlando Pulse shooting here. Remember their names, their faces, and their stories.
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
[Audio transcription: I wanted to tell you one story. Uh. This is the story of the best meal I’ve ever had in my life, okay. Happened when I was eleven years old in Chicago, IL where I grew up. I went to a place called the Salt & Pepper Diner, uh, with my best friend John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars and selected 21 plays of of Tom Jones’s What’s New Pussycat. And then we ordered and waited.
Here’s the thing about when, uh, What’s New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not ‘hey someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again.’ It’s ‘hey, What’s New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought. The third time it plays you’re thinking maybe someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again. The fourth time it plays you’re either thinking ‘whoa someone just played What’s New Pussycat FOUR TIMES or at least someone played it twice, and it’s a really long song.’ So the fifth time is the kicker, alright?
Now, John and I we’re watching the entire diner at this point, alright? Most people have gotten wind as to what’s going on. And we’re staring at this one guy and he’s sitting in like a booth with his stupid kids jumping around, and he’s like staring at his coffee cup like this, and he’s been onto us since the beginning. And he’s sitting there, and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like, aw, like he had just gotten his thirty day chip from anger management. And he’s staring like this, and the fourth song fades out. It’s dead quiet. Then, I don’t know if you know this, but the song begins very quietly…
BWAAAH BWAAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT and he goes GOD DAMN IT and pounds on the table, silverware flies everywhere, and it was fantastic. But a word about my best friend John and what a genius he was because when we first walked into the diner, okay? When we first got there and I’m punching in the What’s New Pussycats alright? I’ve punched in like 7 at this point then John says to me ‘hey hey hey before you punch in another What’s New Pussycat let’s drop in one It’s Not Unusual.’
Oh yes. That is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven What’s New Pussycats. In a row - It played seven times. Suddenly - Dum da dum, IT’S NOT UNUSUAL and the sigh of relief that swept through the diner. People were so happy. It was like the liberation of France. You know for years scientists have wondered can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’s It’s Not Unusual and the answer is yes you can. Provided that it is preceded by seven What’s New Pussycats. It’s true. Dead honest.
And on the other hand. When we went back. Holy shit. It’s Not Unusual fade out. It’s dead quiet. BWAAAH BWAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT people went insane. People went out of their minds. No one could handle it. No one could handle it. And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff that was just like ‘yup some crap as always.’
They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And that was the best meal I ever had.]
reblogging again coz this time it has audio transcription (bless you) and it’s still forever hilarious omg
my favorite joke in the existence of all jokes.
Timing! I was just telling my sister about this yesterday. :D
@iwilldesign4food we still haven’t done this.